Chapter 10 ✔️

3 months later...

The past few months went by like lightning for Harvey. He'd spent them studying for his winter finals, barely having time to breathe, let alone have any fun.

It would've been hard to cope if it hadn't been for the constant support that he had been given by none other than Jefferson Blake himself.

How did it go?

It's a text message from Jeff. Harvey smiles down at his phone as he realises that the movie-star had been waiting to check up on him after his final test.

In no time at all, Harvey taps the call button at the top of the screen and presses his phone up to his ear.

"Hey there." Jefferson's smooth voice comes through the speaker, "How was it?"

"It was okay, I guess." Harvey says distractedly as he walks through the street on his way home.

"You guess? I don't believe you."

"Why not?" Harvey responds with an airy laugh, "Don't think I could at least pass."

There's a scoff through the phone, one that signifies Jefferson's ease around Harvey, "More like I don't think you could fail. You could pass that test with a hand tied behind your back."

"Don't suggest that or that might actually happen." Harvey giggles, reaching a hand down to fish out the keys to his apartment, which were in his back pocket.

He slings his bag more securely over his shoulder, switching the phone between hands as he opens the heavy door and enters the hallway. He kicks off his worn canvas shoes, leaving them flush against a wall in the entryway. Then he steps further in, taking the phone from his ear and tugs off his bag and jacket in one motion, before plopping down on the old couch in the middle of the room.

"I wouldn't be worried." Jeff tells him once he's settled, "You're already so smart, and you work so hard. There's no way you wouldn't pass."

Harvey lets a small smile take over his features. Since he began his virtual friendship with Jefferson, every time the strawberry blond says something remotely positive about him, Harvey's heart beats twice as fast, and his face heats up like he's asleep on the equator.

"Thanks." He says quietly.

"Can I ask something?" Jeff asks, and then takes the silence that follows as approval, "Why do you work so hard? I mean, of course it's important to study, but a guy with your brains could ace a test with a few hours work a week."

"Do you think I do too much?" Harvey frowns, a little confused about what Jeff was saying.

"I think... I think you work yourself to death without realising when you've done enough." The actor attempts to explain, then sighs, letting his voice adopt an even softer tone, "Your work ethic is incredible, but I don't want it to consume you. Every time we speak, you're either just out of class, or mid-studying. I'm not complaining, it doesn't affect me, but... I'm worried you'll get burnt out."

Harvey takes a second to digest Jeff's words. In the past, he might have let them get twisted on the way to his brain. Let his emotions and insecurities tell him that Jefferson was angry at him. But he pauses and thinks about what's been said.

"Oh." He says, just to stall and think some more. Then he understands, "I guess..."

He stops again, because he has to sigh, and expend some of the frustration he feels at not being able to verbalise his emotions.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, no it's okay," Harvey interrupts, "I'm just... trying to put it into words."

"Oh... Take your time." Jeff says, then goes quiet.

"It's... It's just easier."

"Easier than what."

"Everything else." Harvey supplies. Then he unleashes a stream of consciousness that he doesn't want to be responsible for in the future, "It's like... Life is so unpredictable, right? And people are so hard to read. Like, in school, I was this outcast, who didn't speak to anyone. I didn't understand the world from other people's eyes, and that made me weird. And it hurt because I just wanted people to like me."

"Were...were you bullied?" Jefferson asks cautiously.

"No. No, I wasn't. I was just... avoided, ignored. But it's frustrating. Because eventually I got used to it. It made sense. It was just the way things were." Harvey frowns again, "But then I met Chris, and suddenly I had a friend, who was just as weird as me."

"Weirder." Jeff quips, making Harvey huff out a laugh.

"Shut up." He grins, then continues, "It just turned my whole view of life on its head. Like, yes obviously, everyone is different, and there are billions of people in the world. So, of course I'd find people who understood me.... But how do you know who'll understand you?"

Through the phone, there's a thoughtful, encouraging noise, but no words are spoken.

"Like, take you for example." Harvey suggests, "You have every right to be an asshole. To be self-obsessed, and arrogant. But you're not... You're kind, and thoughtful, and you like the same random shit I like – which is so out of left field – but it's amazing and..." he sighs, "I realised years ago that it's exhausting trying to understand people, and control how they see you. So, I just... don't waste my energy on it anymore. Instead, I focus on things I can control."

"Like your education?"

"Like my education." Harvey smiles, glad that Jeff could get something from his rambling, "I hate not being in control of my life. And if I give other people the same importance that I give my education, I think I'd lose my mind. So, I just, stopped putting the effort into controlling other people's perception of me, and dedicated myself into what I could control."

"But..." Jeff pauses to think, "Why does that mean you should work yourself to death?"

"It doesn't. But I guess, it's a distraction... Every time I look at the internet, or the TV... I'm reminded of the unpredictability of the world and I just... It's frightening. So, I immediately go and do something that's measured and predictable... I guess it just happens a lot."

"I guess so." Jefferson says, his tone is understanding, enlightened, "It makes sense... Just, try not to let it consume you. The next time you feel like that, speak to me, or Chris, or do something you enjoy."

"I will. I promise." Harvey smiles. Suddenly, he feels so grateful to have someone like Jefferson in his life, "Can I ask you something now?"

"It's only fair."

His smile widens to a grin and he thinks of his question, "I guess I wanna understand how a guy like you can't find someone who loves them?"

"A guy like me?" Jeff asks, bemused, "you mean with my fame?"

"I mean with your personality." Harvey rolls his eyes, "Jeff, you're an amazing guy. You're so kind, and thoughtful, and genuinely funny-."

"Careful, my head might explode with how big it's getting."

"Shut up." Harvey shakes his head, "What I'm trying to say is... Yes, most people probably approach you because of the fame, but anyone with half a brain would stay for the person behind the mask."

"That explains why you're still speaking to me then." Jefferson's grin is prominent in his voice.

"Jeff!" Harvey whines, "I'm serious. Surely there were people in your life, before me, who know and love the real you."

"Well, there's obviously my mom." Jeff thinks for a second, "And there's Maya. But I've been there, and I don't wanna go there again."

"Wait what?" Harvey is aware of Maya. He's spoken to her multiple times. She's a really nice person, and more than a little intimidating, "You dated Maya?"

"If you can even call it that." Jefferson hums, then explains himself, "When we were in high school, we kept being asked about it. Everyone was saying that since we were such good friends, we would make a good couple."

"But I suppose you didn't?"

"It's not that Maya isn't beautiful. She'd be an incredible partner. And if I didn't know her, I'd definitely have a crush on her." There's a pause, and a shuffling sound, "But she's like a sister. Whenever we went to kiss each other, it felt weird and we would both pull back. I'm not one to worry about ruining the friendship, but there wasn't anything worth ruining it for. So, we just went back to normal."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." Jeff confirms, then there's a ruffling on the line, and Harvey assumes that his friend is getting himself more comfortable. "What about you? Chris is an attractive guy. You never thought about it?"

"With Chris?!" Harvey screeches comically, "God no. He's a little brother to me. And he feels the same way. We got dared to kiss each other in spin the bottle once and he nearly threw up at the idea of it."

"Charming." Jeff comments with a laugh.

"I'd rather that, than he be in love with me." Harvey admits, giggling along with the redhead.

"I still can't believe it." The voice through the phone is softer now. More tender.

"Believe what?" Harvey asks hesitantly once his laughter subsides.

"I can't believe that anyone can spend a moment with you, and not fall in love."