Icebound: Chapter 30

My eyes flutter open in the golden morning glow. Dust glitters in the streams of light beaming through my window, illuminating the man sleeping on my pillow like an illusion woven from dreams.

He’s too good to be true, smiling that charming smile in his sleep. I can’t stay away from him anymore, not after he came to support me last night.

Not after the tattoo.

That has to mean something.

Memories flood my fuzzy mind, but the embarrassment and panic I anticipated are nowhere to be found. I’ve learned to always expect the worst, so I’m prepared.

My life could implode at any moment, and when it doesn’t, the relief is overwhelming, and that’s exactly what I feel when I look at Rhode—overwhelmed that out of the billions of people on this planet, I was lucky enough to find him.

I’m not a good fit for his life, but I’m glad I got the chance to love him, if only for a brief moment. I’d rather jump into love than never fall at all.

He sprawls across my tiny double like it’s his king bed. He’s lying shirtless on his stomach with one arm under the pillow, and my fingers ache to brush away the hair tumbling across his forehead, so I do.

The muscles in his back ripple with every breath, and he looks so peaceful, so young, that I’m tempted to take a picture.

I soak up his essence in the morning light, memorizing all the little nuances strangers can’t see. They get his dimpled smile and hear that rugged laugh, but only I know that he always smiles at the grocery store checkout person and laughs even when jokes aren’t funny. I trace my fingers over his lips, wanting more than anything to press my mouth to his.

He blinks his eyes open, then squints.

“Morning,” I whisper.

My voice seems to wake him up, and he stretches, pulling me to his solid chest. It’s like hugging a statue, but I still snuggle into him, careful of his shoulder. His fingers brush the curve of my spine.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks, voice rough with sleep. “Do you need anything?”

You.

I need you.

“I feel fine. Surprisingly, fine. Thanks for taking care of me last night, and for coming, and for well, everything.”

His hands pause their movements. “I think you took care of yourself just fine.”

I instantly get sucked in by the smolder in his eyes. The memory has a sudden flush warming my face. I can’t believe I did that, but I was feeling a little bold, a bit daring. Partially because of the alcohol but mostly because Rhode makes it safe enough for me to let go.

Brushing my hand down the ridges of his abs, I toy with the rim of his briefs .

Rhode’s hand flies to my wrist, stopping me. “What are you doing, Nina?”

The softness in his voice is gone. His tone is hard. Dark. I meet the hunger in his eyes, hoping mine look just as wild.

“You know exactly what I’m doing.” I scrape my nails against the solid ridges of his stomach. “Just one more time. I’ll be careful. We can go slow, but I want to make you feel good. I know this ends when I leave for Argentina, so it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

A muscle quivers in his cheek, on the edge of exploding. Slowly, he grips my leg and hitches it over his hip, forcing me to straddle him.

He presses his erection up against my center, and that slight position shift has me desperate for him. “See, I don’t know if I can agree with that because your body means something to me.”

He sucks his thumb into his mouth and uses the wetness to circle my peaked nipple. I tighten my legs around him, fire pooling between my thighs as I start riding him.

He groans out a curse. “I’m trying to focus here, and tell you how much you mean to me, Nina, but I can’t when you’re riding me like that.”

I stop moving on top of him. My hair hangs down, caressing his shoulders.

“Listen to me.” Leaning up, he presses his lips to the skin over my pounding heartbeat. “This, right here, means something to me.”

Gripping my chin with his good arm, he tilts my face down and kisses my forehead. “Your thoughts mean something to me.”

He’s breathing hard, but I’m gasping. Waiting. Wanting. Rhode swipes a thumb over my lips, and his hand trembles slightly as he looks up at me. “Don’t lie and say this means nothing when you mean everything to me.”

His lips, warm and soft, brush against mine with a hint of hesitation. I thread my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. The kiss is so excruciatingly tender, and it’s over far too quickly.

He leans back, resting his head on my pillow, breathing heavily like we just spent the past hour with our mouths fused together and not two seconds.

I run my hands up his corded arms, nerves twisting in my stomach. “Why did you stop? Is everything okay?”

His Adam’s apple bobs, slow and steady, like everything I love most about him. “I’m fine, I’m just…” He inhales deeply, muttering a curse. “I’m nervous. That’s all.”

That makes me want to kiss him for the rest of my life. I place my hand over his rapid heartbeat that matches my own rhythm. “That’s okay. Me too.”

I suck in a breath, and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue along the seam of my bottom lip, diving into the kiss, but it’s not deep enough. I need it to be endless. And that’s exactly how Rhode kisses me, like this moment is endless.

He’s not rushed or hurried. No, he traces a tortuously slow path over my lips, and I can already tell this kiss will linger for long after it’s over. I weave my fingers into the silky threads of his hair, and a throaty moan ripples through his chest.

That sound triggers matching explosions in our bodies, setting something feral loose inside us. The tenderness evaporates, leaving nothing but an all-consuming need.

“What are you doing to me?” he growls against my mouth. “And whatever it is, don’t ever stop.”

Rhode sucks my tongue, stopping me from answering. I straddle his hips, grinding against the delicious hardness of him. All of our kisses seem more wild than the last. Our teeth knock together. Tongues explore every inch. It’s the first time I’ve ever loved spiraling out of control.

Rhode’s the only thing anchoring me to this world .

There seems to be a sea of thoughts in those deep blue eyes, but we don’t talk. I slide down his briefs and take him in my hands, sliding my finger over his slick head.

His hips jerk at my touch, and his voice shakes almost as much as his body. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed us.”

His legs tremble, so I swirl my thumb over his wet tip before lining him up with my center. “I need you. Now. Please. I’ll be careful.”

“You don’t have to beg for me. I’ll give you whatever you want.”

He dives back into our kiss the same moment I sink down onto him. He fills me in one powerful thrust until he’s completely buried inside me.

I expect the frantic urgency to translate to our bodies, but it doesn’t. Rhode slows his movements to a languid rhythm. The wet slide of him, combined with the groaning headboard, makes obscene sounds in my quiet bedroom, but I love the noises we make together.

I love everything about this moment—except how I can’t stop thinking the word love.

Rhode’s hand finds my ankle. He lifts my leg, hitching it up higher. The angle allows him to go deeper than anyone’s ventured. I whimper when the base of him nudges my center, creating an exquisite friction that’s addicting.

His thrusts turn from slow and steady to primal and feral. “How does my cock feel inside you. Does it feel like nothing? Does this…” He thrusts up hard. “Feel like nothing to you?”

I try to answer, but the only thing that comes out of my mouth is a breathless moan.

Rhode grips my throat, gently squeezing as he strokes the column of my neck. “I need you to answer me because I’m telling you right now, I’ll never get enough of you.” He loosens his hold. “Now, look at me and say it.

”

Panting, I meet his eyes. “This isn’t nothing.”

He stops moving inside me, but I’m still on top, riding him. “Now, what is this, love?”

Love.

He called me love. That stops me.

My eyes begin to burn, so I tangle my fingers in his hair, wrenching open my heart for him to see every feeling I’ve tried to bury. “This is everything. You’re everything to me because you somehow became my best friend, and I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

I kiss him before he has a chance to respond because I’m too scared to hear whatever words come out of his mouth. With a groan, he kisses me with more fervor than before.

Our lips tumble into a dance, swaying and breaking apart and coming together. His tongue slides into my mouth at the same time he moves deeper into my body. I get lost in the feeling of his lips and never want to be found.

Never want to know the ending. But that’s the thing about kisses—they always do.

End, that is.

I dig my nails into his waist, but his thrusts slow. We fuse ourselves together until there’s not an inch of space between us, and through it all, Rhode keeps his lips on mine until we’re shaking, tumbling over that edge together.

His body trembles beneath mine. “You’re so fucking perfect for me, Nina. You’re everything I didn’t know I needed, and I wish I would’ve met you sooner.”

“You have me now.”

“I don’t want to let you go.”

He spills himself into me and warmth spreads through my body, heating me like his words. Our sweaty chests move as one as we come down off that ledge.

I collapse in a heap on top of him, careful to stay on his good side, and he wraps me up in his warm embrace. A light sheen of sweat coats our bodies, but we stay connected.

It’s only when it’s over that I realize what we just did. “You didn’t wear—”

His chest heaves. “I know, sorry, I wasn’t thinking, but there’s no one else. I promise. There hasn’t been anyone else for over a year. Just you.”

I wrap him in my arms, kissing his cheek as he softens inside me. “There’s no one else for me either. Just you.”

“Good because I think I’ve had enough years of fighting in the League, and I want you all to myself. I’m yours now.”

We stay like that, bodies a mess of arms and legs. Our heartbeats tick against each other as we linger in a moment that could be a long one or a short one.

A second or a millennium.

I can feel our end looming like a heartbreak harbinger, but this is worth the goodbye.