CH 21

A few days ago, as a teaching assistant, Pi Xiu would often see Wen Xi become exhausted from tutoring Wu Zu. Once Pi Xiu started teaching Wu Zu, he not only felt tired, but he was fucking exhausted.

The path to learning was a tough one, especially when you were teaching a dog. Pi Xiu was a hardworking teacher who walked in front, while Wu Zu was a dead dog crawling on the ground behind him.

At the end of the first night class, Pi Xiu felt even more tired than when he dug the ‘vegetable cellar’ overnight. As soon as he laid down on the bed, he laid still and didn’t speak for a long time. On the other hand, Wen Xi sat beside him on the bed, and while laughing, rubbed Pi Xiu’s shoulders: “How was it?”

“Not so good. Fortunately, I didn’t go in with my physical body. Otherwise, I would have exploded in anger and we both would have died.” Pi Xiu sighed.

Wen Xi brought his icy hand to Pi Xiu’s hot face and asked: “Should I continue to teach him?”

“No, now that you are in my Household Registry, if something were to happen to your soul, it would be troublesome to have those from the Supervision Office come back to investigate. Originally, my plan was to give you a good reincarnation in Autumn in private. But those who have a Household Registry have a limited quota of permitted reincarnations per year, and these are given out randomly. I really don’t know how many years and months we will have to wait to be granted a reincarnation.”

Thinking about it only gave Pi Xiu a headache, so he pulled Wen Xi to lie down beside him so that Pi Xiu could hug him: “When the time comes, I’ll go find Feng Du and make him choose a good time for you to reincarnate. I’ll make him give you good parents, and a one-child family so that you’ll be the only spoiled one. I won’t go back on what I have promised you.”

Wen Xi was silent for a long time before saying: “You’re a good Demon.”

“Say no more. Just accompany me peacefully this Summer. Besides, helping you reincarnate will give me a lot of merits, so it’s not like I’m losing anything. If you have any unfulfilled wishes, tell me quickly.” Pi Xiu paused, and then said: “If it’s too much work you had better not mention it. I really can’t handle another case like Jia Suzhen’s.”

“I see.” Wen Xi replied with a smile and leaned against Pi Xiu’s chest. However, Wen Xi’s eyes were downcast, as if he was thinking about something.

All things seem difficult at first before they start to get easier. Once Pi Xiu got used to Wu Zu’s routine, Pi Xiu finally started his career as a teacher, looking like a rookie driver. However, even though Wu Zu was a naughty brat, his mind was quite flexible, so he didn’t succumb to the pressure and his grades stayed as they were.

By hurting themselves in the process, the two men managed to get through another week of exams, thanks to Pi Xiu repeatedly dragging and pestering Wu Zu. Due to that, the young student’s scores improved by leaps and bounds under the strong pressure of the fierce male monster, making Wu Zu jump from the low ranks to the top ten of the class. This made Wu Zu vaguely become a boy ardently prepared to take the University Entrance Exams.

As the days went by, the weather became warmer and warmer, so Pi Xiu became increasingly inseparable from Wen Xi. It got to the point where Pi Xiu dragged him everywhere.

In the backyard, grape vines and loofah vines were intertwined, climbing up the garden greenhouse, which made their green leaves connect and cast a shadow on the ground.

Pi Xiu moved a reclining chair from the storeroom and placed it under the greenhouse to cool off in the shade. On the side, there was a water well where some chilled watermelons were lying, which would be taken out later to eat in the evening.

The atmosphere in the garden seemed comfortable and cozy, as if it were some kind of paradise on earth. However, the crowing of a rooster suddenly broke the peace and tranquility.

In order to cook rooster soup to replenish Wen Xi’s health, Pi Xiu bought a truckload of small roosters, leaving all the hens in the city widowed. This, of course, made it difficult for the hens to lay eggs.

When the majestic group of young roosters marched loudly into the backyard of the restaurant, the only dominant pig in the house lost its temper. To compete with all the noise, and fight against the roosters, the pigs yelled back out loud.

The pigs and roosters became extremely jealous of each other, but Pi Xiu was too busy preparing Wen Xi’s soup to care. He simply took a rooster, sent it to slaughter, then locked the rest of the roosters and pigs together.

When the two armies clashed, at first they sent a representative General to shout at the other group. But then, all the roosters and pigs began to yell at each other, making the noise so loud that it could even reach the Heavens.

When Ren Jiao took Lil Broom to the backyard to teach him a calculation problem with the pigs and roosters locked in the same cage, the two sides had long since created a fighting mess. There were roosters flying and pigs jumping; pigs trampling in a circle, rooster feathers floating in the air, as well as pig poop flying back and forth. Ren Jiao was stunned to see this scene, but Lil Broom didn’t even have time to catch his breath. His eyes had already rolled back and he fainted.

Even though Qiu Fu was already busy arranging his luggage to return home, the dirty work could only be done by the good friends Qiu Fu and Ren Jiao. This time, both men learned a hard lesson and reinforced the pig corral. From now on, they had to make sure to control the pigs’ behavior and prevent them from jumping over the corral!

After cleaning up the mess, Ren Jiao washed his face, dried his hands, and went to the kitchen to argue with Pi Xiu: “Hey, Old Pi, there are only a few chickens in the courtyard, why buy so many roosters? Do you want the hens to lay eggs 24 hours a day? Or do you want to listen to a choir of roosters at dawn?”

Ren Jiao sniffed his hands and frowned: “I just saw that the rooster excrement in the backyard is three centimeters thick again. When Lil Broom comes home from school, he’ll go crazy again. The last few days I’ve only been dreaming about shoveling rooster poop, and now my hands smell like rooster poop. Please do me a favor and send those roosters away, okay?”

“Didn’t I tell you already that they are for Wen Xi’s soup?” Pi Xiu brushed off the garlic peels in his hand, and said: “Go and kill one to stew.”

Qiu Fu, who came in with his suitcase, volunteered: “I’ll do it, let me do it. I’ll stew it and go home, Old Pi.”

Pi Xiu looked at him and said: “So you’re ready to go for a few days now, hmm? Remember to bring some of your hometown specialties, I’ll calculate the money for it and give it to you.”

“That’s fine. I can also bring two Guanguan1.” Qiu Fu then grabbed a knife and went to the back courtyard, leaving Ren Jiao and Pi Xiu alone in the kitchen. Ren Jiao looked at Pi Xiu with a complicated look in his eyes.

Pi Xiu continued cleaning the garlic and asked: “Why are you looking at me like that? Did money fall off my face or something?”

Ren Jiao: “Let me ask you, how much money did you spend on those roosters?”

Pi Xiu: “What is it?”

Re Jiao: “I just can’t believe you, of all people, would be so generous. When the three of us were living on the streets, and Qiu Fu wanted to eat a chicken, you told him to suck it up. Why go to such extremes now?”

Pi Xiu was stunned: “What are you saying? Didn’t I bring him a chicken the next day?”

“You still have the nerve to say that was a chicken? You brought a mandarin duck and the other one ended up weeping by the lake for half the night. Besides, that meat can’t be compared to chicken, ah.” Ren Jiao began to clean the garlic with Pi Xiu and continued: “I just think you’re yearning for love.”

Pi Xiu, knowing it was useless to explain, quietly said: “I’m tired of saying the word ‘single’.”

‘Why does the world always have to misunderstand my pure, incorruptible heart? Why doesn’t everyone realize that a Pixiu has only the scent of copper2 present on their skin, and not the sour smell of love?’

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Pi Xiu sighed with emotion and said: “Forget it, it’s useless to explain. Yesterday, Su An said that someone called him to ask if the Restaurant had a delivery service. Humans are so delicate and lazy that they don’t even bother to go out when it’s hot. When Qiu Fu comes back, we’ll have to start preparing to do deliveries.”

Ren Jiao replied: “Which platform should we join? I think the ones with blue uniforms are good. Also using a small electric motorcycle is better than a four-wheel vehicle. It’s faster, and you can pass between people.”

Pi Xiu, without looking up, said: “We won’t join any Human platform, it’s better to contact Tudi Gong. With his express delivery, we will be able to deliver all over the country. I will have Su An arrange everything later.”

Ren Jiao froze: “Will Tudi Gong be willing to cooperate with us?”

“Food delivery has become quite popular nowadays. Besides, a takeaway meal can give some merits if it’s delivered on time. It’s a privilege he can’t even ask for. Now that this old man is willing to let some merits slip through his fingers, how can he not be willing?” Pi Xiu sneered: “The rooster poop really messed up your brain, huh? Stupid.”

As soon as Ren Jiao heard ‘rooster poop’, his head began to ache. Ren Jiao immediately waved his hand and said: “Alright, alright. You are the Boss. You decide, and I do the hard work. But if I have to do delivery, I’ll definitely have to do overtime and I won’t have time to watch Lil Broom do his homework at night.”

Pi Xiu looked at him and asked: “What, does he have you in the palm of his hands? Do you have to stare at him before he starts writing?”

“Don’t you know that Lil Broom throws a tantrum when he comes home from school? To get him to do his homework I have to ask him 3 times and coax him 4 times. It’s like dealing with my ancestors.” At that moment, Ren Jiao’s calculations based on wishful thinking began to crackle: “When I have to do overtime work late at night, ask Wen Xi to tutor Lil Broom. I’ll pay with my overtime pay.”

Pi Xiu: “Then I’ll have to discuss it with him.”

Ren Jiao patted Pi Xiu’s thigh and said: “Why? As husbands, you can be the head of the family, but you can’t be his master?”

“Husbands, my ass.” Pi Xiu replied without any fluctuation in his heart. “His soul body is unstable. If he works too hard, or has any accidents, his soul body will be damaged. If you can find me a place where his soul body can rest, then I’ll help you convince him to tutor Lil Broom.”

Ren Jiao tsk-ed and said: “Is that jade Guanyin statue useless now? It will take a while to find a good replacement. What, are you mad because you have to tutor that student surnamed Wu every night? It’s okay, he’s just like my Lil Broom. Every time I have to make him do homework I get so mad I want to punch someone. Relax.”

It would have been better not to mention Wu Zu altogether, as just mentioning him gives Pi Xiu a headache. He was, once again, worried about what Wu Zu’s weekly exam results would be like.

When Ren Jiao saw Pi Xiu sigh at him, Ren Jiao couldn’t help but ask: “Why don’t you just make her reincarnate? Helping her reincarnate is simply a matter of getting merits, what does it matter how many you can get?”

“It’s not just about merits, but I also want to get Taotie’s information from her.” Pi Xiu casually stated. “Besides, it’s not like I have to kill people or set places on fire. I just have to help a student get first place in the Entrance Exams. It’s not that hard.”

Ren Jiao: “Well, that’s true. It’s as hard to make money as it is to eat shit. Compared to those who go through the sewers running to catch fugitives for the merits, you’re much better.”

“Anyway, I have my reasons and she has hers too. We each have our own path. Besides, Wu Zu is a smart young man, much smarter than Lil Broom is, so it’s not like I’m tired of teaching him.”

Ren Jiao: “……”

Ren Jiao: “Fuck off! Our Lil Broom is much smarter!”

Mr. Pi removed the garlic peels from his body and ignored Ren Jiao. After washing his hands, Pi Xiu went upstairs with the medicine and rooster soup to nourish Wen Xi’s soul. When Pi Xiu opened the curtain on the second floor, he saw that Wen Xi was sitting on the sofa talking with Jia Suzhen.

Both ghosts were chatting while watching a drama on TV, where the Number One Scholar was marrying his bride. Wen Xi, seeing this, thought for a moment and asked: “I don’t understand, why do you insist on wanting Wu Zu to get first place in the Entrance Exams?” After a pause, Wen Xi asked: “He didn’t promise to marry you after graduating from high school, did he?”

Jia Suzhen hurried to deny with her head: “Never….”

“Then why?” Pi Xiu approached with the soup and medicine in hand, asking with a raised eyebrow: “Is it possible that you have some kind of weird fetish for seeing people be the top scorer on an exam?”

“No! Officer Wu should have been the number one Scholar, but he was sent to jail because he was accused of stealing by a traitor and lost the chance to take the Imperial Examinations. I wasn’t able to help him in my past life, but in this life, I….”

Pi Xiu laughed and sat next to Wen Xi, where he handed the medicine over to him: “It was really a coincidence that he was accused of theft back then when you were performing ‘The Emperor’s Female Son-in-law’. I mean, if you had really studied and passed the Imperial Examinations with honors, couldn’t it have been just like in the opera?3”

Jia Suzhen was in a trance: “But I grew up in the theater since I was a child, I wasn’t a rich official lady. I also don’t know all the characters, let alone the most important ones, so how could I have read the Four Books and Five Classics4? If I really could have saved him like in the opera, why would I be here right now?”

Her surname was Jia, not Feng. Even though her name was Suzhen, all she could do was sing on stage, saving Officer Li over and over again in the opera. But after getting off the stage, she must take off the costume of the Number One Scholar. At the end of the day, what is fake will still be fake, and she will remain as the helpless Jia Suzhen.

It was impossible for Jia Suzhen to beat the drum to get rid of Officer Wu’s grievances, and it was even more impossible for her to get the first place in the Imperial Examinations to save him from his misery.

While Officer Wu suffered in prison, Jia Suzhen wasn’t even allowed to cry. Instead, she had to put on a mask, making an entire audience laugh and cheer. Although everyone in the audience was aware of her glory and splendor in ‘The Emperor’s Female Son-in-law’, who would have known that underneath it all laid her sorrowful, broken heart?

Wen Xi drank the bowl of medicine, still being held by Pi Xiu, and the bitter taste made him frown.

When Jia Suzhen noticed that the two men had already begun to display their close intimacy, she suddenly let out a long sigh: “The window of my room faced the street where the parade of horses celebrating the Number One Scholar would pass by. At that time, I was eagerly waiting for the Spring Exams to pass, so that from that window, I could see the appearance of Officer Wu, parading through the streets dressed in red. Only then would I be satisfied with my life.”

“Being the top scorer now is different from the past.” Pi Xiu gave Wen Xi a piece of candy and continued: “Now you’ll be fined if you ride a horse in the street. But you can give him a red coat and have him parade down the street on a bicycle.”

‘Not only it’s low-carbon and pollution-free, but it also doesn’t require spending a lot of money. It’s much more convenient than having him parade on horseback.’

Jia Suzhen quickly waved her hands and said: “No, that’s not what I meant. As long as I can see young Wu become the top scorer in the Entrance Exams, it will be more than enough for me.”

“The day my family’s residence was raided, all our belongings and wealth ended up in the state treasury. So how did the painting from my birthday banquet get into your hands?” Even with the candy in his mouth, Wen Xi kept frowning. “Besides, it’s stained with your blood.”

Jia Suzhen: “Officer Wu made two identical paintings that day. Only one of them was sent to you, the other painting was given to me.” Jia Suzhen smiled and held the painting in her hands, stroking it gently. When her fingertips touched the blood stains, she spoke softly: “On the day I took my own life, I was holding the painting. So it is only natural that it was stained with my blood.”