CH 19

Pi Xiu snickered, squeezed Wen Xi’s hand, which was clutching at his clothes, and lazily said: “She’s our maid, she’s here to take care of him.”

Yang Jian: “We’re in a new society, and it’s no longer a custom to have servants.”

Pi Xiu tsk-ed: “I haven’t signed a Slave Purchase Contract, and I even pay her a salary for her work. Besides, I’ll personally send her to be reincarnated next month.”

“Then you should have a Temporary Residence Permit.” Yang Jiang still wouldn’t budge, and even gave the Heavenly Hound a look to indicate that he should prepare to take Jia Suzhen away.

Pi Xiu sneered and released his Demonic Qi. Then, all of a sudden, all of the little monsters in the Restaurant didn’t dare to move.

Yang Jian, who was born with a God-like Body, paid no attention to this Demonic Qi. But when he saw that Pi Xiu was angry, Yang Jian smiled: “Tell me, if you make a move here, how much do you think your Restaurant will be able to bear? When the time comes to make renovations and buy new furniture, will you be willing to spend that money?”

Yang Jian stared at Pi Xiu and said: “I just came to check the Household Residence Certificate. I have no intention of fighting with you, and you don’t have to oppose me with such hostility.”

“If you obstruct the law enforcement personnel in public, you’ll also be fined.” Xiaotian Quan stood behind Yang Jian and showed Pi Xiu a big smirk, demonstrating in great detail how ‘the threat of a dog relies on the power of its Master1’.

Wen Xi, taking advantage of the situation, pulled on Pi Xiu’s clothes so that the latter would bend down to him. Then, Wen Xi caressed Pi Xiu lightly and whispered in his ear: “Why don’t you call the Emperor of Fengdu?”

Pi Xiu paused. ‘Oh, I almost forgot about the old Feng Du.’

‘Don’t look down on me, I also have contact with those above you.’

The old demon then asked one of the Monkeys to clear a private room for Yang Jian, Xiaotian Quan and his black dog to rest. Thereafter, he took Wen Xi and Jia Suzhen upstairs, then called Feng Du.

As soon as Feng Du heard that Pi Xiu wanted to register Wen Xi in his home, as well as getting the Female Ghost a Temporary Residence Permit, Feng Du couldn’t restrain himself from opening the Monster Forum and catch up by reading all the gossip. At that very instant, Feng Du logged in with a sockpuppet account to post at the same time as he processed Pi Xiu’s request.

‘I’m not a melon2 producer, I merely transport them. After all, listening to music alone isn’t as fun as enjoying it with a crowd. Melons are meant to be shared!’

By the time the Household Registration Certificate and the Temporary Residence Permit were delivered by Tudi Gong3’s express delivery, Yang Jian had just finished his first cup of tea.

Pi Xiu threw the two certificates onto the table, and said: “Here! Leave quickly once you’re done reading them.”

“Why are you always so fierce and rude?” Yang Jian took the certificates, peeled off the patch covering his third eye on his forehead, then thoughtfully began to check the Household Registration Certificate and the Temporary Residence Permit in his hands.

After seeing Yang Jian’s action, Pi Xiu couldn’t help, but hiss. As he looked at Yang Jian’s third eye, Pi Xiu asked him: “You did it so roughly, isn’t it painful? Doesn’t it tear out your eyelashes?”

Yang Jian looked at Pi Xiu with his three eyes and said: “The eye on my forehead doesn’t have eyelashes.”

Pi Xiu stared at Yang Jian’s third eye for a long while before replying: “Not bad.”

Xiaotian Quan zoomed in from Yang Jian’s shoulder and sniffed the air. Then, he looked at Pi Xiu and asked: “There’s a strange fragrance all over you. Does it belong to that Ghost of yours? What did you give to him?”

Pi Xiu sneered coldly: “My partner4 has his own unique body fragrance. What is it? If you want the same for yourself, remember to bathe every day. You can also ask your Master to buy you a dog perfume and have him spray it on you every day.”

As soon as Xiaotian Quan showed his teeth, Yang Jian held his head and rubbed it. Yang Jian also pinched the Heavenly Dog’s neck and stroked it a couple of times.

“Be obedient.”

When Pi Xiu saw that Yang Jian had finished verifying the Household Registration Certificate, and the Temporary Residence Permit, he took them back. Then, Pi Xiu opened the door of the private room, and gestured to them as if to say: Since the matter had been settled, you may leave. Don’t even think about snatching the common folk’s stuff away from them!

Once Yang Jian walked past Pi Xiu, Yang Jian stopped, turned his head to look at Pi Xiu, and said: “I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you today. I also apologize to your wife for frightening him, my Xiaotian Quan is still young and doesn’t know better.”

A growl came from Xiaotian Quan’s throat, but before he could say anything, Yang Jian grabbed him and dragged him out the door.

Pi Xiu couldn’t stop himself from saying behind Yang Jian’s back: “Pah! If Xiaotian Quan is young, then even Ren Jiao can say he’s a small piece of fresh meat5. How ‘inexperienced’ can an old cucumber painted green6 be?”

Xiaotian Quan wanted to turn around and bark at Pi Xiu, but Yang Jian held him tightly by the neck, making it impossible for him to move. After struggling several times, Xiaotian Quan felt that the grip on his neck was too tight and it became difficult for him to breathe: “Let go! Let go! I can’t breathe!”

Yang Jian’s feet soon ceased to walk, stopping a few steps away from Pi Xiu’s Restaurant. Only there did Yang Jian release Xiaotian Quan, whom he was still holding up to that point.

“Didn’t I warn you in advance? Don’t mess with him. You promised me before coming here, but what did you just do?” Yang Jian squeezed the back of Xiaotian Quan’s neck and said: “Could it be that you don’t want to go out ever again?”

“No! It’s because of the way he treated you!” Xiaotian Quan broke free from Yang Jian’s grip and said: “Do you really think I would like to face an old demon like him? If it hadn’t been for—”

At that instant, and without letting him finish speaking, Yang Jian pulled Xiaotian Quan and hid him behind his back. At the same time, Yang Jian scanned the shadows between the trees in front of them. With a voice as cold as ice, Yang Jian said: “Come out.”

A man, holding a jade Buddha statue in his hand, emerged out of the shadows. His skin was so pale that it looked almost transparent under the sunlight. The man smiled at Yang Jian and said: “It’s said that Erlang Zhenjun and his Heavenly Hound have a very deep Master-Servant loving relationship. How fortunate I am to have the privilege of seeing it with my own two eyes today.”

Xiaotian Quan grabbed Yang Jian by the arm and vigilantly looked at the mysterious man. On the other hand, the black dog in Xiaotian Quan’s arms barked at the man, but under that man’s terrifying gaze, the dog ended up falling to the ground in fear, even sobbing in fright.

“Now that’s what I call being obedient.” The man’s eyes curved into a smile. “A well-behaved puppy should listen to his master, and never act on his own.”

As he calmed Xiaotian Quan’s dog, which was trembling with fright due to the suppression of blood7, Erlang Shen glanced at the man and slowly said: “Taotie, it’s not necessary for you to handle the affairs of Erlang Shen’s family.”

Taotie smiled: “I have overstepped my boundaries, I ask Erlang Zhenjun not to blame me.”

Yang Jian: “The debt I owed you has been paid. It will be better to have fewer interactions in the future.”

Taotie nodded: “Naturally, I’m loyal to my words.”

“What is that Ghost to you? You came all the way to find me, only to make Pi Xiu grant him a Certificate of Household Registration.” Yang Jian narrowed his eyes. “I heard from Yue Lao that the red thread of marriage of that Ghost is connected with that stingy Pi Xiu.”

Taotie, with a smile still on his face, softly said: “I don’t need Erlang Zhenjun to meddle in my family’s affairs. Just tell me whether the Household Registration that Pi Xiu showed to you is real or not.”

Yang Jian: “I verified it with my Heavenly Eye. It’s authentic.”

“That’s enough.” Taotie bowed to Yang Jian and said: “Thank you, Erlang Zhenjun, for your help.”

Yang Jian stepped back half a step to avoid Taotie’s polite bow, and said: “It’s not necessary. I did this to return the favor you helped me with in the past. Now that you and I are even with each other, it takes a worry off my mind.”

After having proved himself reluctant to get back in touch with Taotie, Yang Jian took Xiaotian Quan and his dog away on a cloud. But before leaving, Yang Jian turned around and said: “I heard that over the years, Pi Xiu has been looking for you. Although he’s an auspicious beast, he also has a violent temper. You should be careful.”

Taotie froze in place from amazement. Erlang Zhenjun had literally climbed up on a cloud, and disappeared into the skies.

Taotie smiled: “He’s not the only one who’s been looking for me over the years, and while I do agree that he has a violent temper…. Erlang Shen, you’re the one who misunderstood me.”

At that moment, a wind blew and the jade Buddha statue in Taotie’s hand glowed. Taotie gently caressed the statue and said: “Don’t worry, he’s fine. Didn’t you hear just now that Pi Xiu has given him a Household Registration Certificate? Pi Xiu won’t be able to send him to reincarnate for a while…..”

The statue glowed again even brighter than before, sparkling under the sunlight, appearing almost blinding. Taotie hastened to say: “Don’t worry, I won’t allow him to be sent to be reincarnated….. Don’t be afraid, I’ll keep an eye on him…..”

As Taotie whispered to the Buddha statue in his hands, he walked back into the shadows, gradually disappearing into the darkness….

…

After almost being attacked by the purebred Heavenly Black Dog, Xiaotian Quan, Wen Xi’s soul had been so terrified that he had to lie on Pi Xiu’s sofa-bed to recover. Pi Xiu was lying with Wen Xi, hugging him, in order to calm his spirit little by little with his Demonic Qi. Lil Broom was on the side, holding the bitter-smelling medicinal soup, stammering to Pi Xiu about what had happened in the Restaurant a while ago.

The first to walk into the Restaurant were Wu Zu, along with his classmates, but almost immediately, Yang Jian pushed them away with Xiaotian Quan and his dog. Before Wen Xi became aware that there was a black dog present, the dog pounced to attack Lil Broom. Wen Xi rushed to pull Lil Broom away, but Wen Xi’s soul was scared by the dog, and even his face was almost seen by Wu Zu, who was still around.

“It’s, it’s all m-my f-fault. I, i-if I h-had…” Lil Broom tried to apologize with a guilty expression on his face. With his eyes glued on Wen Xi, Lil Broom stammered his apology.

Wen Xi sighed: “Why are you apologizing? It wasn’t your fault. In fact, it was quite fortunate that you were there. If you hadn’t blocked my face, Wu Zu would have seen and recognized me.”

Pi Xiu didn’t say anything. He simply held up the bowl of medicine, telling Wen Xi to hurry up and drink it.

After drinking the entire bowl of medicine, although it was very bitter, Wen Xi’s condition actually improved considerably. Pi Xiu held his hand and transferred him some Qi, so that Wen Xi would have enough energy for Wu Zu’s evening lesson.

Then, Pi Xiu asked Lil Broom to stay upstairs to keep Wen Xi company, while he himself went downstairs with the empty bowl in hand to clean it up. Since it was Friday, there were many customers in the evening, so the Monkey Spirits and Jia Suzhen were excessively overworked at the moment. For that very reason, Pi Xiu also stepped in to help them with the customers.

Once Wu Zu finished paying the bill to Su An, he just so happened to stumble upon Pi Xiu in the middle of working. Wu Zu gathered up all his courage and stepped forward, blocking Pi Xiu’s path.

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Although Pi Xiu saw the boy stopping in front of him, he was ready to turn around and leave. However, Pi Xiu heard the student ask him: “Boss, what happened earlier?”

“It was nothing. They just came to check my business permit.” Pi Xiu looked at the boy and asked: “What is it? You also want to see my business permit?”

Wu Zu hurriedly shook his head and said: “No, no, no, I was just asking. I thought that…..”

“What did you think? Did you think I was breaking the law or something? That I was using sewer oil to fry vegetables or the like?” Pi Xiu snorted coldly, making Wu Zu’s face go pale with fright.

Wu Zu waved his hands and said quickly: “How can that be? Boss, you have a wife and a son! How could someone like you violate the law and discipline?!”

Pi Xiu: “???”

‘Forget the wife, but what son?! Since having a wife isn’t enough, has it become popular to ‘buy one wife and get one child for free’? Isn’t that just putting a ‘green hat’ on my head? What kind of lifetime of happiness is that? Why should I be happy to become a father in a family of three?’

When Wu Zu saw Pi Xiu’s complex expression, Wu Zu thought he had made a mistake, so he hurried to ask: “Isn’t the boy who cleans the Restaurant every day your son?”

At that very moment, all the monsters present in the Restaurant raised their ears, eager to hear the answer to Wu Zu’s question.

Pi Xiu was stunned: “Who are you even talking about?”

Wu Zu: “The one who just protected the Boss’s Wife. Just when my classmates and I came in, we saw that the Boss’s Wife was hand-feeding him chestnuts.”

‘Eating, and hand-feeding chestnuts?! Heh, there are two people around here living the great life.’

Even though Pi Xiu, angered, wanted to reprimand those two, he restrained himself in time.

‘Wait a minute. If Lil Broom becomes my son, by extension, Ren Jiao would also have to call me ‘Dad’, right?’

‘To become a father, or not to become a father? A question that requires no hesitation to answer!’

As soon as Pi Xiu’s wicked tendon twitched, Pi Xiu’s expression suddenly became gentle, and calmly replied: “Indeed, he’s my son.”

‘At the end of the day, Lil Broom was picked up and raised by me ever since he transformed into his Human Form. Although there was no piss involved to claim him as my own, it can also be considered that he has been bathed by my own guardianship. Adding this all up, he can practically be regarded as my son in a way.’

‘Besides, first and foremost, this cheap son of mine can also be given to Ren Jiao, the King of Seafood. In the future, if I can make the Restaurant not have to pay for seafood, wouldn’t that make me earn even more money?!’

As Pi Xiu got lost in his own thoughts, he walked away leaving Wu Zu behind. As for the monsters, they had all gone insane over the news.