Chapter Twenty-Seven

Letting go of Skylar was the single hardest thing Ian had ever done. And possibly the most painful. Seeing the way her eyes filled up with sadness and pain broke his heart. It had made him die a thousand deaths. But it was something that had to be done.

He realized something. Something important. He had too much baggage, and he didn't want Skylar to feel the weight of it all. He could never give her his sole devotion, because he would always have to put his daughter first. And to make sure Emily was happy, he had to make sure that Christina was okay. The last thing he wanted was for his daughter to lose her mother again. She'd be devastated if Christina ended up leaving, or going to rehab again or worse, dying from an overdose. She'd already been close once.

Another thing that had made him decide to end things with Skylar was their age difference. In four months he would turn thirty, and she had barely turned twenty-one! He had a daughter. A "baby momma." Parents that disliked her. He didn't want to put Skylar through that. He knew that she deserved someone closer to her age. Someone that didn't have any other obligations. Someone that could give her all their devotion. And no matter how much it hurt, it was the truth. And he needed to deal with it.

Skylar would be happier in the long run. She shouldn't have to deal with his crap. And he didn't want to make her feel miserable. Earlier when she't told him about moving back into dorms he realized that she really wasn't happy. Or as happy as she should have been. And he hated himself because he couldn't give her that. All he wanted was to make her feel like a queen, but apparently he just wasn't good enough for her.

So he had to let her go. And maybe he'd never love anyone else as much as he loved Skylar, but he could live with that. Skylar was still young and she would find someone else. And maybe she would love that person more than she had loved him. And he was okay with that. Or so he told himself that he was.

As Skylar drove away from the hotel she blasted Lana Del Rey. And she sang at the top of her lungs to every song. She wasn't going to cry. No. She didn't even feel like crying. And she wasn't mad. Not at all. Yeah, she wasn't exactly happy about her breakup, she was sad. But she wasn't going to cry and she wasn't going to feel resentful.

It was one thing to think about a relationship ending, a whole other thing to have it actually happen. And, yeah, she'd seen it coming. But there had always been hope. Hope that things would change. That things would become easier for both of them. That that would just be happy together. She'd hoped.

But if there was anything that Skylar had learned in her twenty-one years of life was that not all good things lasted. Heck, nothing good in her life had ever lasted. So why did she expect her relationship with Ian to last? It had been too good to be true. He'd been perfect. Too perfect. And she'd let herself believe that she was living a fairy tale life. That she would stay with the man of her dreams. That she would spend the rest of her life with him.

Of course Ian would never be able to focus solely on her. And she'd never asked him to. And she'd never expected him to. He was a father of a beautiful child. Of course she didn't resent Emily. She understood. Emily grew up without a mother, and now she was back, and of course the little girl wanted her parents together like she saw other parents with their kids. She didn't blame Emily. She was just a child with dreams and high hopes. And Skylar had been just like her once upon a time.

Christina was not to blame. Skylar knew that as well. That woman may have a nasty past. She may have left Ian and Emily. And she may have gotten involved with drugs and shady people. But, guess what, Christina was human! And she had made mistakes just like everyone else. And Skylar knew that she was trying to get better. Because people could change. And Skylar believed her. She was just another imperfect creation. Just like Skylar.

When she got to her apartment, Skylar started to feel...lonely. And she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts at the moment. She wanted someone to talk to. Someone to keep her company. So she called the person that she knew would listen and care. Jason. And he quickly agreed and said that he'd pick her up.

It wasn't long before they ended up at the beach. Both laying on the sand, looking up at the dark sky. It was peaceful. The sound of the crashing waves against the shore was like music to their ears at that time. The cool breeze made them shiver, but it didn't bother them. They were there, together. And it felt good. It really did.

But it wasn't long until Jason asked the question Skylar knew was coming. "So are you gonna tell me what's going on?" he asked. "Is everything okay?"

She let out a little sigh and said, "Ian and I broke up." That about summed it all up.

Jason was a little taken aback at her response. "Uh...are you serious?" he asked. "Just like that? You guys are over?"

"Yup." Just like that. They were over.

"How did that happen?"

"Ian decided that he would put his family first," she explained. "And I'm okay with that. I saw it coming. It was good while it lasted." It has been an amazing time.

"How are you feeling?"

She laughed. "I'm okay," she said. "Really. I feel...like it's going to lead to good things. I can spend more time with the gang. Have more fun with you guys. I was spending all my time with Ian, and that wasn't healthy. Now we can get drunk together. We should go to Coachella. Or go to some random rave. Let's get tattoos!"

Jason chuckled as she rambled on. "Tattoos?" Not that he was stranger when it came to tattoos. He had several himself. But he just never thought that Skylar would be one to want a tattoo for herself.

"Isn't that kind of cliche, though?" he asked. "Getting a tattoo right after a break up?"

Skylar giggled. "Yeah, but I've always wanted one. I feel like this is the perfect time, you know."

But they just kept on laying there. It was one of those moments when she felt so at ease. And maybe she shouldn't have been feeling that way considering she'd literally just broken up with Ian. But there she was. A smile on her face as she looked up at the night sky. She felt like she was in one of those Indie films, a catchy Indie rock song playing in the background. Maybe one of them should have been smoking a cigarette. Complete movie cliche. She almost laughed at herself.

"Do you really want a tattoo, Sky?" Jason asked, breaking the silence.

She pouted as she thought about it. "Yeah. I'm serious."

Jason sat up and looked at her. "Lets go."

"What?" she asked, a tad confused.

"Lets go get your tattoo," he said. "If you really want one, lets go."

A huge grin spread across her face as she realized that it was happening. So she sat up and nodded eagerly. "Okay. Lets go."

"F.uck!" she exclaimed as the tattoo artist worked her magic on Skylar's ribs. "This hurts more than I thought it would!"

Sandra was a gorgeous woman in her late twenties covered in tattoos and piercings. Her hair was dyed three shades of blue and her ears were stretched. Skylar was always envious of people that were so comfortable with self-expression through body art. She knew that she could never pull that off. Sandra was a badass.

Jason laughed as he watched her get tatted up. Her sweater was hunched up, her bra visible, to give Sandra easier access to the place where Skylar wanted the tattoo done.

It wasn't anything special or super original. Some may call it cliche, but she really liked it. It was a quote by Lao Tzu that said, "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings." It seemed appropriate.

When they were done, they both went to a 24-hour diner close to the tattoo shop. She had not eaten since her lunch break in school, so yeah, she was starving at the moment.

They were seated at a booth, and Skylar was quick to order a chocolate milkshake with a bacon cheeseburger and curly fries. It seemed like heaven to her.

"So how do you feel?" Jason asked as they waited for their food to arrive.

"I feel like a completely different person," she said sarcastically. "Maybe I'll shave the side of my head and dye my hair pink. I think I want a tramp stamp next."

Jason chuckled. "You could pull of a tramp stamp," he teased.

As she studied her friend she realized just how much she appreciated having Jason in her life. "I'm glad we're friends," she said.

He gave her a curious look. "I am too."

"You know, considering we've made out before and you've felt up my boobs," she said, "I'm surprised we're so comfortable with each other."

He laughed. "Yeah. You know maybe I should be completely avoiding you considering you called me by another man's name in the middle of our makeout session." His tone was playful but she blushed either way.

"I'm sorry about that," she said truthfully. "It was a very confusing time, to be honest."

"Hey, you didn't hurt my feelings too much," he pointed out. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"You are," she agreed. "And I thank you for that."

"You know I'll always be there for you, Sky," he said. "Even when you want me to hold your hand while you get tattooed."

She laughed. "I feel like a badass."

"You should!"

Skylar didn't want to go back to her apartment. She didn't want to be alone there. There were just too many memories of her and Ian in there. And she really didn't want to go through the emotional pain of it all. And anyway, Jason was doing a pretty good job of distracting her so far.

"You could stay at my place," he suggested. "How does cheap wine and Seth Rogen comedies sound to you?"

She brightened up. "It sounds like the best idea you've ever had!"

So they quickly stopped by her place so she could pick up a change of clothes and her school stuff, and then they were on their way to his apartment. When they arrived he brought out a bunch of pillows and blankets and they lounged on the sofa, both of them holding a glass of wine in their hands.

"If you want I can bust out the vodka," he said. "Just in case wine isn't doing it for you."

"That sounds appealing," she said. "But I kinda don't want to get too drunk. I'm a law student, Jason. High expectations, honey." But she really did want to get drunk at the moment. But a little red wine to make her feel light would suffice for the night.

And so they spent the rest of the night watching comedies, a bottle of wine between them, and snuggled close together. And yes, maybe Skylar did wonder how things would have turned out if she'd given Jason a chance instead of choosing Ian. Maybe she wouldn't be in the situation she was in and a be a little bit happier.