57. Sunset

Anthony.

✙ ☠ ✙

I sit at the bar with Aron. The party is in full swing and I've talked to everyone but Sky. After Loren and I had a chat (In which she said she loves my dresses and would love to buy any of them!!) I went back inside to talk to Sky. But it seems he's busy.

He's hanging out with Chase.

They're sitting really close together. As in— they're constantly touching each other somehow. And I know this is normal for some guys but there's just something between them.. It explains why Chase was so nervous for me to meet him. Maybe he likes him. I mean, who wouldn't? I could barely believe my eyes when I saw him and Aron walk into the room. I saw the photo on Chase's desk but they say to never trust a photo. In this case the photo was right. Very right. And it makes me sad and unsure.

"Are they always this close?" I ask Aron. He seems pretty buzzed from the booze but he's not quite drunk.

He peers over at his boyfriend. Then he smiles.

"Pretty much. They're really close.. They've been through a lot together."

"Yeah.. I can see that." It really, really bothers me, though. This isn't just a normal friendship.

..Or maybe I'm just seeing things that aren't there.

Sky runs his hands through Chase's hair. I feel a pang of jealousy go right through my chest.

"So you're okay with your boyfriend being so touchy with Chase?" I say in disbelief.

"Boyfriend? He's my fiance. Didn't Chase tell you?"

I frown. "Fiance? No, he didn't tell me."

I look back at Sky and Chase. Sky is engaged to Aron? Why didn't Chase tell me that?

"Chase is gonna be my best man. Can't believe he didn't tell you. Maybe he thought it would make it weird or something."

I shake my head in disbelief. Why would he keep that from me?

It's only then that I remember what Chase told me in one of our earlier conversations. He said he lost his virginity to some guy. Some guy who was getting married.

"How old are you guys anyway?" I ask absently.

"I'm twenty, Sky is nineteen."

It's like a stab going straight through my heart. I can't take my eyes off Sky.

My heart pounds frantically and I think I'm about ready to cry.

"I'm going for some air." I say quickly before rushing outside.

Aron doesn't pick up on my mood.

Sky.

✙ ☠ ✙

I notice Anthony go out to the balcony and finally see my chance to talk to him.

"I'm gonna go talk to your boyfriend." I say to Chase.

"Okay. Be nice."

"Will do." I rise to my feet.

"Want me to come?" He asks.

"I'm good. We'll get along great." I ruffle Chase's hair and for once he doesn't complain. He seems too nervous to.

I open the door to the balcony. It's way quiet out here.

"Hey," I say cheerfully. "Guess I'm finally getting a chance to talk to you." I close the door behind me and lean against the railing.

Anthony is looking away from me. He seems pretty upset.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. Great party." He says listlessly.

"You know.. If something's wrong you can talk to me. I'm a pretty good listener."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are." Anthony says under his breath.

I'm kind of confused here but I try to stay optimistic. Maybe he's just a bit tired.

"I like your hair." Compliments always work, right?

"Chase told me you hate pink."

Compliments don't always work.

"Hate is a strong word." I chuckle.

Well.. this is awkward.

"So, are you happy dating Chase? You guys look cute together."

"Don't patronize me."

"I.. I'm not. I'm just trying.."

What is this guy's deal?

"Do you have a problem with me or something?" I ask.

"Oh, you finally caught on?" For the first time Anthony meets my confused gaze.

"I don't know what I did to offend you—"

"You have to be the cruelest, most clueless person alive! The way you constantly touch him like that. Do you think that's normal?"

Is that what got him so mad?

"Look— I think you have the wrong idea. Chase and I are just friends."

"That's how you treat your friends?" He looks at me like I'm dirt.

I try real hard not to snap and give him piece of my mind. I'm supposed to be the adult here but it's really fucking hard. This guy doesn't back down.

"Yes. Pretty much."

"Of course you would. That doesn't surprise me at all."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I say, irritation clear in my tone.

"Just back off of Chase."

It seriously pisses me off when he says this.

"You don't tell me what to do."

Anthony looks at me again. Seriously angry this time.

"Chase and I have known each other forever and you only just came into the picture, so maybe you should know you're place and stop whining about nothing. There's nothing going on between us, so calm the fuck down." I snap.

Anthony looks really hurt. I think about Chase and how important all this is to him. Maybe I shouldn't be so pissed at Anthony for getting the wrong idea. Even if he's too thick-headed to listen to the truth.

I take deep breath.

"Look, let's just try to get along for Chase's sake—"

Anthony walks right past me into the living room without saying another word.

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

Jimmy and Harry took me to Sky and Aron's bedroom to distract me since they saw how nervously and obsessively I kept glancing at the balcony.

We just did some meditation and now they're getting ready to massage my hands since Harry recently did a massaging class.

"That— Seriously? Harry, that's way too much." Jimmy laughs as Harry rubs massaging cream on his hands.

"No, it's not. You need a lot. I'd know. I get massages all the time."

"Yeah, but this is just a hand massage." Jimmy reminds him.

"...Right."

I look at the door.

They've been on the balcony for a while now..

"You know what? Why don't you guys just massage each other." I say hurriedly as I make my way back to the party.

I search the room for Anthony or Sky but I can't find either of them.

I spot Fawn in the crowd.

"Fawn!" I grab her hand.

"Hey!" She smiles.

"Have you seen Sky? Or Anthony?" I ask.

"They were on the balcony."

"Yeah, I know, I mean after."

"Umm.." Fawn is wasted. It's no use.

Heather turns towards me. "I didn't see Sky but I think I just saw Anthony leave."

"What?"

I run out of the apartment.

It's too slow to take the elevator so I race down the stairs as fast as I can.

I bang through the doors into the sunset.

And I see Anthony walk towards the sun.

"Ant!" I call. He doesn't hear me.

I run a little closer. "Anthony!" I call his name again.

He finally turns around.

"H-hey, where are you going? I thought you finally talked to Sky." I smile, full of hope that he's not leaving because something went wrong between them.

"Is there like an emergency or something?" I try after a long silence.

Anthony seems really upset. He looks down at the sidewalk before meeting my eyes.

"It's him, isn't it?" Anthony says, looking hopeless.

"He's the guy you told me about. The guy who took your virginity. The guy you've been into for years. The one you said you didn't talk to anymore?" Anthony tries to hold back the tears.

My heart races frantically.

"I only said that to change the subject. I didn't mean to lie to you."

"And you couldn't have told me? You couldn't have told me before I saw you two together! Didn't it cross your mind that I'd figure it out and that it would hurt me?"

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have lied to you."

"You still love him, don't you?" Anthony's eyes are overflowing with tears by now. And it triggers the same effect in me.

"It's not like that anymore, I promise."

"That tattoo on your neck. It's about him, right?"

I look away.

"And those scribbles all over your notebook?"

Anthony wipes a tear.

"Have you seen the way you two look at each other?" Anthony shakes his head. "That's not friendship, or brotherhood."

"You're wrong!"

"Am I?" He gives me a pointed look.

"If Sky wasn't with Aron and he wanted you.. If he said he wanted to be with you right now, would you?" Anthony's voice is trembling as he speaks.

If Sky wanted to be with me? I look down at the floor and the thought takes me away just as it always does.

But then I remember it's just a thought. And it's just fantasy. In reality we're not right for each other. Aron belongs with Sky and I belong with Anthony. I know that now.

More tears stream over Anthony's face as he turns around to leave.

I grab his arm. "No! I wouldn't. I only want you." My voice cracks as the tears cover my cheeks.

Anthony looks from our hands to my face.

"Why did that take you so long?"

"I was just confused! I was. But I'm not anymore!"

Anthony takes a step back.

"I'm not going to be your second choice, Chase."

Anthony walks away.

"Please don't go!" I beg. "Please!"

Anthony doesn't stop. I watch him turn the corner.

My vision gets blurred and I cover my face.

I knew this would happen. I fucked everything up. Again.

I hear footsteps in the distance behind me.

"Chase?" A familiar voice drenched in worry.

"What happened?" Sky asks.

I turn around and run into his arms.

I sob uncontrollably while Sky tries to comfort me.