36. Parents

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

We're at the graveyard. It's somewhere quiet and remote at the top of a hill. I look around at all the thumb stones. All the people that have died. I think about myself. I could've been one of them two years ago. Hell, I could have been one of them this year. I look at Sky. He looks serious. But not sad. Composed. Poised. It's strange seeing him this way.

"We are gathered here today to grieve the loss of Oliver Kent." The priest begins. "Who was taken from us too soon. I will begin this service with a prayer after which any of you who'd like to speak about Oliver may do so."  The priest priest looks down at his bible.

"Oh God, whose mercies cannot be numbered: Accept our prayers on behalf of thy servant and grant him an entrance into the land of light and joy,"

Aron caresses Sky's back in support.

"In the fellowship of thy saints; through Jesus Christ thy son our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen."

"Amen." Everyone repeats.

After a long silence Sky's grandma steps forward to speak about Oliver.

"Oliver was a special man.." Sky's grandma is talking now. He's holding her hand. "He was a little rascal as a kid. He was a rebellious teenager. And he was a man that was hard to pin down. But he was also.." Tears stream down her face. She gets choked up.

"Do you want me to read it for you?" Sky asks gently.

She nods.

He takes the note from her hands. "But he was also a kind man. He was always raising money for our church, he came home with scars on his face multiple times because he had defended some kid from the bullies at school, and he was in love." Sky looks at his mom. "He was in love with a woman named Lisa. And sometimes he was harsh and he was cruel. He was never perfect. But he was always my son. Oliver."

Everyone starts to clap.

Sky kisses his grandma's cheek. "That was beautiful, grandma."

"Thank you, sweetie." She embraces him.

Lisa is crying now too. My dad puts his arm around her.

When everyone's done saying goodbye they lower the casket into the grave.

Sky, his grandparents and his mom all throw some dirt into the grave before it gets buried.

All the while Sky is comforting his family. Not shedding a single tear.

Sky.

✙ ☠ ✙

After the funeral I sit in the blue little room. Everyone's downstairs. Talking about my dad. Grieving. Going on about how great of a man he was. I think it's all bullshit. He left his son and the 'woman he loved so much' to fend for themselves. Then he came back, lied about having a disease, then lied about not having a disease.. And.. he never loved me. I asked him if he loved me at all and he couldn't say it. What kind of great man doesn't even love his own son?

I sigh and look around the room. I see my dad's sweater on a chair.

I grab it and take a look at it. It is hideous. I squeeze it close to my body.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Yeah."

Aron peaks inside.

He knows by now not to ask me if I'm okay because the answer is always the same.

He joins me on the bed and puts his arms around my shoulder. I rest my head on his.

"Aron?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna go home."

He's quiet for a while. "Right now? Are you sure?"

"I miss Rose. I wanna go home."

"Alright." He kisses my forehead. "I'll go tell everyone we're leaving."

× × ×

My mom wanted to stay. Talk to the family. She'll come back later. Steven, Chase and Loren are leaving too.

I hug my grandparents.

"I really wish you would stay a little longer. There's so much to discuss."

"I really don't feel the need to, grandma. I'll be fine."

"At least take this," My grandma hands me an envelope. It says 'To My Son, Oliver' in the most hideous handwriting I've ever seen.

"...What's this?"

"It's from your dad. We found it in his house the other day."

I look down at the envelope. My dad wrote me a letter? When? My heart begins to pound fast. I've found peace in not knowing him. In shutting everything about him out. Now this letter is going to ruin that.

I give it back to my grandma. "I don't want it."

"Sky," Aron tries.

"We should go. We have a plane to catch." I get in the car.

Aron hugs my grandparents and my mom before joining me.

× × ×

I ring the bell to Diana's house. She opens the door.

"Sky! I didn't expect you back so soon!"

"Yeah, I missed Rose." I smile.

"Come on in," She steps aside. Aron and I make our way inside. My heart warms as I lay eyes on Rose who's sitting on the floor playing with her toys.

"Rose, I missed you!" I kneel down on the floor.

"Da-da!" She exclaims.

I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head.

"What on earth is she wearing?" I chuckle.

Rose has on a creme dress with lavender flowers all over. If she wasn't so small she'd look like a grandma.

"It's adorable, isn't it? This dress belonged my mother and to me. I'm so glad Rosalie is wearing it." Diana beams.

That... explains a lot.

I can't help but laugh.

"Would you boys like some tea? Or coffee?"

I look at Aron.

"Yeah, coffee is fine, thank you."

Diana heads into the kitchen.

Aron puts his hand on the back of my neck and joins me on the floor.

Rose is happily playing with her dolls. She screams of excitement and joy as she makes them fight each other.

Aron starts to massage my neck. I calm down from the sensation.

"I want her to stay like this forever." I say. "What if one day she grows up and hates me like I did my father.."

"She has no reason to."

"If she learns how she came about she might hate me. Or if I mess up again which is inevitable."

"Every parent messes up sometimes."

"Some mistakes are irreversible." I look into his eyes. "You hate your dad."

"You could never be as cruel as him."

I guess not. I could never speak badly of Rose. I wouldn't neglect her. I would try not to suffocate her..

But she'll be a teen and teenagers aren't logical. She could hate me for no reason.

I sigh. I just don't want this moment to change. She's so happy all the time. Everything is perfect now.

"I've seen you with her. You're a great father, Sky." Aron kisses my forehead.

I smile as I fill with joy. That's all I want to hear. Let's hope Rose will say the same one day.

I peck his lips. "So are you."

He pulls up an eyebrow.

"Aron, Sky, the coffee's ready." Diana calls.

We get up.

"I'm not her father, though." Aron says as we make our way to the table.

"You're her Aron, that's even better."

Aron laughs.

We sit down at the table. I proceed to add tons of milk and sugar to my coffee while Aron drinks his black.

"How was the funeral?" Diana asks earnestly.

"Um.." I shrug. "It was nice. Lots of people came and said some really great stuff about my dad.."

"That's wonderful." Diana smiles.

Her eyes look sad and tired. I'm guessing she's worried about Chase.

"How've you been?" I ask. "You know, with Chase."

She sighs. Then she plasters on a fake smile.

"I'm just waiting for him to grow out of this. This whole.. experimenting with guys thing. You know what I think? I think he's just scared. He's scared to really get serious and be with a girl and that's why he's messing around like this. And now this man has taken advantage of him and there's no way to reverse it."

"He's just confused." She concludes.

"You seem confused too." I say honestly.

"I am. I never thought he was interested in men. I could've warned him about this."

She looks up.

"I'm not trying to offend either of you but this just isn't the path for my son. He'll come around."

"What if he doesn't?" Aron asks. "Would you stop loving him?" He asks calmly.

"Of course not. I would just show him the way."

"How can you show him the way when you have no idea how he feels? When you have no idea what it's like to be gay."

"That's when it comes back to God. He decides, not me. If you just read the bible and follow it closely God will show you the way."

"What if the way is just being who you are and trying to be a good person? Shouldn't that be enough?" Aron argues.

Diana looks away. "Not for my son. He was going to do great things and I won't let this issue ruin that for him. And like I said: he isn't homosexual."

Hearing her talk about gay people actually makes me wonder if I should let my daughter near this woman. Let's hope she doesn't say stuff like this around Rose. Poor Chase.

"Da! Da-da!" Rose pulls on my pants.

"Wanna hang with dad?" I lift her up on my lap and hold her with one hand which she grabs onto.

I kiss her head.

"Is it okay if I take her home? I could really use some time with her."

"Of course. I understand." Diana smiles.

We get up. I can tell Aron is dying to leave.

I hug Diana goodbye and we're out the door.

"That woman is insane! Does she really think it's impossible for her son to be gay?" Aron says.

"I guess she just had an idea of who he was going to be and now he's the opposite."

"We're gonna have to adopt him. If she tries to pray the gay away or some stupid shit like that we'll have to get him out of there."

"There's always Steven. He'll accept him."

"Yeah.. I guess so." Aron looks into the distance.

I look at Aron's face. He seems so down.

"You really miss him, don't you?" I ask.

He nods.

I grab his hand.

"Steven will come around. It's not fair he won't let you see him." I say.

"It's not just about me, though! I want him to cut you some slack! I just.. I hate this whole situation." Aron groans.

"I know.. But you gotta understand Steven's point of view too."

"How are you so okay with this?" Aron asks.

"I'm not. I'm just tired of fighting."