19. Wish

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

We walk into the hotel room. It's beautiful. There's like showy woodwork all over the walls and the floor is dark and elegant.

"Wow. Fancy." Sky says as he drops his bag.

We look around the room. I open the curtain and the beautiful view of the night city is overwhelming.

"Sky, look at this." I say breathlessly.

He joins my side and is just as in awe by the sea of lights from the city.

I wonder if I could live here some day. Being surrounded by this much beauty all the time seems like a dream come true.

We explore the room some more and are both constantly amazed by how good everything looks in real life. The pictures did it no justice. While the bedroom is warm in color, the bathroom is light and fresh. The tiles are mat white and the walls are a soft blue. It's like a little ocean in here.

I walk back into the bedroom and sit on the bed to really take it all in. I can't believe I'm here. With Sky. I never thought we'd actually be close enough to share a room like this.

"I'm going for a shower." Sky walks toward the bathroom while taking off his shirt.

It catches me off guard and reminds me of that time we slept together.

"Sure." I watch him carefully as he disappears into the bathroom.

He doesn't even lock the door! What kind of person does this!

It's silly but I keep staring at the bathroom like he's gonna come out and kiss me or something. It's so stupid but since so far this day has been dream-like, I'm kind of hoping for the best.

I gasp in surprise when Sky calls my name. It's like he knows I'm thinking about him.

He sticks his head in the room. "Can you grab me a towel?" He chuckles.

"Uh, sure." I grab a fresh rolled up towel from the bed, walk over and give it to him. I make sure to look away as I hand him the towel.

"Why are you acting so weird?" He disappears into the bathroom again.

"Well, you're kind of naked." I say matter-of-factly.

"Nothing you haven't seen before." Sky says casually.

I feel a blush rise to my cheeks. He does remember. Sky never talks about that time.

"You remember." I mumble.

"Chase, I can't hear you from all the way over there.."

I walk into the bathroom feeling awkward and like I'm intruding on his privacy or something. But Sky just keeps on showering like nothing's going on. I lean against the sink, facing the frosted glass shower cabin. I try not to look but it's hard.

"I said: You remember." I repeat.

"Yeah, I don't have amnesia." He laughs.

"You never talk about it."

Sky slides the door open partly and sticks his head out.

The blushing intensifies. I try not to stare at his body but he's not making it easy.

"Do you want me to?" He asks, looking very amused.

I turn around and grab my toothbrush.

"No." I say defensively.

"Figured." He closes the door again and continues humming.

"How's Fawn?" He asks suddenly.

Crap. Great topic.

"Uh.. we broke up."

The cabin door shoots open.

"Really?" He looks so worried.

I look at Sky in the mirror. I try to keep my gaze on his eyes but it's like they have a life of their own and they scan his whole body.

"Yeah. I'm dating a girl named Melissa now." I guess.

"Oh." He seems confused now. Then he shrugs. "Do you like her?" He turns back to the shower.

He doesn't bother closing the door this time, giving my self control a really hard time. Why would he do this? Why would anyone do this? Is this normal? Or is this just Sky being Sky?? I can see the entire back of his body now. I watch the water slide over his perfect skin and find myself jealous of it. Wow. Never wished to be water before. I've reached a new low.

He hasn't changed at all. Sky looks the exact perfect same.

"Chase?"

"Yeah?" I look away again. Shit, I was staring. Shit. "Of course I like her. She's cool." I say casually. I actually manage to brush my teeth now that I'm not staring at Sky's professionally crafted sculpture of a body.

"Okay." Sky turns to me again. "But it's not true right? Loren said everyone is saying you're this huge player and everything."

I rinse my mouth. "Why wouldn't it be true?" I say this more to see his reaction than because I think it's the truth. I look into his eyes. He looks completely puzzled.

"Surprised?"

"Kinda, yeah."

I can't tell if it's good surprised or bad surprised from his face. He just looks at me. It's like he's trying to read me as much as I'm trying to read him.

"You're different." He finally says.

I decide to take a chance and turn to him. "Different how?"

"I don't know. You're growing up." He shrugs.

Not fast enough apparently.

"Makes me kind of sad." Sky turns back to the shower. He runs his fingers through his hair.

"Why?"

"Well, parents never want their kids to grow up."

"Sky!" I complain.

He starts to laugh.

× × ×

We're lying in bed. Both freshly showered. I made sure to keep the door locked so Sky can't see my fresh scars. I'm wearing long sleeved PJs for the same reason which really sucks cause my body finally started looking better and I wanted Sky to see it.

"Today was fun." Sky muses.

The lights are off and we're facing each other.

"It was." I smile.

"We're gonna have to make tomorrow even better." Sky says before yawning.

"Deal."

It doesn't take us long to fall asleep. We're both exhausted from all the walking and the flight. I haven't slept this good in weeks. Sky is medicine.

When I wake up, Sky is clamping onto me, his head on my chest and I feel happy and at peace. It's fucked up, I know. But I pretend he's mine. I pretend he's holding me like this because I'm the most important person in the world to him.

He wakes up not long after. He notices his arm around my waist.

"I didn't squish too hard, did I?" He speaks softly.

"You did. But it was nice."

Sky sits up. "So, what are we doing today? Ooh, we should have breakfast in bed!"

"Good plan! You order something." I smile.

Sky grabs the classy phone next to the bed.

"Hello? Chase Chambers speaking," His eyes smile at me. "I'd like to order two portions of your best scones, some strawberries, two cups of coffee.." Sky covers the phone. "Anything else?"

I grab the phone. "And some omelettes. And whipped cream."

Sky chuckles.

"Yep, that'll be all." I hang up.

"This should be good." Sky leans against the headboard. "Oh, shit, I totally forgot to call Aron. He must be worried." He grabs his phone off the nightstand.

"Oh, he called yesterday. I forgot to tell you." I kind of don't want him to call Aron. I want to stay in our own little dream world.

"Oh. Good—"

Sky's phone starts ringing just that second. I try to mask my annoyance.

He smiles. "There he is."

He picks up.

"Playboy," Sky says.

Puke.

Sky laughs upon seeing me cringe.

"Yeah, the flight was fine. It's fucking cold here."

He laughs at something Aron says. "Yeah, well it's colder than I thought."

"I miss you too."

Why is this so annoying?

I hear a polite knock from the door. I get up and open the door.

After tipping the staff I go back into the room, a tray of food in my hands.

"It looks so good!" Sky says as I put the tray on the bed.

"We're eating scones. What about you?" Sky says into the phone.

I take a bite from a strawberry. It's great. It would be better if I could eat them with Sky. When is he gonna hang up?

"I'm jealous! I miss your pancakes.."

I munch on a scone.

"Yeah, he's right here." Sky gives me the phone.

"H-hey," I'm kind of caught off guard.

"Chase! How's the trip so far?"

"Fine. Great."

"Hope Sky isn't annoying you too much." He chuckles.

I put the phone down for a second. "He's asking if you're annoying me yet."

"Well, tell him to go fuck himself." Sky says casually before taking a bite of a strawberry scone.

I put the phone back it my ear. "Sky sends his love." I smile.

Sky rolls his eyes.

"Hey, we should really get training again when you come back. I've just been so busy with school.."

I'm surprised to hear him talk about this. For a while it felt like he'd forgotten all about that. He has been busy so I don't blame him. Though I've missed spending time with him.

"No, I totally get it. Don't worry about me."

"Don't worry about you? You're my best man!"

"Right.. I am."

I don't know how I could've fooled myself into believing something else all this time. I can't believe I was mentally betraying someone that feels like a brother to me. A role model even. I feel so ashamed. What the hell is wrong with me?

"We'll go train some when you get back."

I play with a strawberry.

"Sure." I say softly.

"Okay. Tell Sky I love him."

I know he does. They love each other more than anything. How could I forget? I smile a sad smile.

"I will."

"Have fun. See tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow." I hang up.

"Everything okay?" Sky asks. He looks concerned.

"Yeah." I give him the phone. "Just miss Aron."

"Aww.."

× × ×

We went to a musical (Sky almost threw up, that's how much he hated it), NY Park, the Met museum and we had some food at a little restaurant somewhere in the city. I like how lively this place feels. It's a nice contrast to what my mind looks like right now.

Sky and I are walking back to the hotel after our long day. We're waiting for the cars to pass by so we can cross the street.

I've been trying to fight it but all throughout today I've felt hopeless. This is our last full day here and what was supposed to be a getaway dream turned into a harsh reality check. I haven't been able to stop thinking about how bad of a person I am and how messed up my thoughts have been. How shamelessly I've been pursuing Sky even if it's just in my mind. How much I betray the people I love. First Loren, now Aron.

It seems the last car has passed so I step onto the road. I hear a loud honk and and lights flash by as a two cars nearly hit me. Sky jerks me back onto the pavement. My heart beats insanely at the rush.

"What the fuck, Chase?! Are you stupid? That car could've hit you!" Sky screams.

"Dude, chill!"

"Don't tell me to chill, you could've died, idiot." Sky seems genuinely pissed now.

When the traffic light turns green, Sky walks on ahead of me.

I follow after him.

"I'm sorry." I say when we've crossed the street.

"You scared the shit out of me, Chase."

"I know. I'll be careful next time, I promise."

Sky takes a breath.

I pull him into a hug.

At least Sky cares enough to yell at me. That's a good thing. Who would've thought that after years of annoying him he'd start to care about me?

We continue walking towards the hotel.

In a way it feels like this is the last day I get to spend with Sky. Not really. Of course we'll always be friends and I'll come over all the time. But I have to let him go. Seriously. After today it's all over. I promise myself.

I want something to remember this day by. Not some stupid New York T-shirt. Something permanent.

I look around and I get and idea.

"Let's go in here." I suggest.

"A tattoo shop? What for?" Sky laughs.

"To get a tattoo. Duh."

"You're joking."

"No, I'm not! I want to remember this day."

"They're not gonna tattoo a minor."

"I think they will."

We make our way inside.

"Hello boys, how can I help you?" A big bald guy with tattoos everywhere (including his face!!) comes from behind a desk. "Let me guess: you want one of our premium stick-on tattoos." The guy smiles.

Sky snorts, trying not to laugh.

I give him a look.

"I want a real tattoo."

"Yeah, and I wanted to marry Brooke Shields in the eighties but that never happened either."

Sky can't stop himself from laughing now.

"I'm almost eighteen." A full out lie.

The guy gives me an annoyed look.

"Please. I'll pay extra."

"Are you gonna pay for my bail too when I go to jail?"

"No one will know! I don't even live here, you'll never see me again! There won't be any proof that you did it."

"Except your little friend over there." The guy nods in Sky's direction.

"He won't tell either, right Sky?"

"This is a bad idea..."

"Please! I really need this!"

I think Sky can read the urgency on my face.

He sighs. "I won't tell."

"Yes!" I look back at the man.

"Alright, kid. You got yourself a deal. But I want double the money."

"Of course!"

"Your parents are gonna kill me." Sky sighs.

"I'll just tell them you didn't know."

"Let's just pretend they'll buy that."

× × ×

We're back at the hotel now. We're going home tomorrow and.. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I really want to be alone. To sulk, I guess. Ugh, I have therapy on Monday too, which I'm not looking forward to but at least back home I can lock myself in my room, listen to sad music and sleep in peace without someone asking me if I'm okay.

My neck hurts. I got a little tattoo of a cloud. I told Sky it symbolizes the New York air but that was a lie. It symbolizes Sky and the end of a chapter.

Sky puts his head on the pillow and groans.

"What?"

"I don't wanna go home.. Then I'll have to spend time with my dad.."

"What? You're dad is super cool! I wish my dad was like that."

"What are you talking about? Steven is a literal angel!"

Suddenly Sky sighs looking wistful.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"I won't tell a soul."

"You know how your dad is practicing this song for my mom?"

"Yeah.."

"Well, I told him to do that cause I thought my mom was into him but as it turns out.." Sky gives me a guilty look.

"She's still into your dad?" I gasp.

"Yeah.."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"My dad isn't gonna be around for much longer so I thought I'd save him the heartbreak and just told him to wait."

"What do you mean he won't be around much longer?"

"He's dying." Sky's voice is soft. He sounds so sad. I want to hold him.

"..How long?"

"Could be weeks, months. We're just waiting for it to happen."

"I'm sorry." I caress his back.

"No.. it's doesn't matter" His voice is trembling a bit and tears border his eyes. "I barely even know the guy." Sky looks away and clears his throat.

"I just feel bad for Steven." Sky meets my eyes again after a while.

"Look, I get that it's hard but.. you can't let my dad wait so long. Even after, your mom will be mourning, she won't be in the mood to—"

"I know! I just need a little more time. I tried to tell him and then he showed me a necklace he bought for my mom. I couldn't break his heart like that. He doesn't deserve any of this. I just wish my mom could let go of my dad! Steven would be so good for her.."

He sighs. "I just wish things were different." He looks really sorry.

I hold Sky's hand.

"Me too."