8 | Talk

Charles was definitely going to end up crazy if he didn't do anything. He'd just witnessed Samuel cry and had done absolutely nothing about it. Since when was he so heartless? Since when did his ego increase to this level? If he wasn't so sure of it before, he was a hundred percent sure now that Sam didn't deserve someone as insensitive as him. He didn't know what to think or do, but he knew he had to do a pretty something to make Sam feel better. To make himself feel better. And to prove his thoughts wrong. June wasn't with him - Charles assumed that he took his day off since he was nowhere to be seen - so Charles knew the poor boy had no one to go to. He wanted to be that someone Sam could go to anytime he wanted. Charles would be glad to help him out - glad to be there and listen to him. If only he could do half the stuff he imagined and thought of, the mental breakdown that he was having wouldn't have happened.

"I just- saw him there, he was so broken, he was crying his eyes out, and what did I do? Nothing."

Charles had finished explaining his disappearance during lunchbreak to Madeline, who shared political science with him. Madeline was Charles's earliest friend - they were friends for as long as he could remember. Even if she didn't show it out in the open, Charles knew she loved him and cared about him a lot.

"I'm not gonna say what you did wasn't wrong, it was, but give yourself another chance. It's not like he called out to you and you just ignored him and left, he didn't even know you were there."

"So I just- walk away? Am I seriously that out of my mind?"

"Okay, I don't know what to say to that, I may be the one who knows you the best, but I don't really know how your mind works. I'd say maybe talk to him after school. You insist that you owe him an apology, so you can use it as an excuse or something."

"Yeah, I guess..." he said, feeling terrible. He was sure of the fact that he'd end up breaking something out of frustration and guilt. He was biting his lip harshly while thinking of what to do. How would he even strike up a conversation? Say, "Hey Sam, I saw you crying during lunch. I thought you didn't want to see my face then so I just turned around and left you there all alone. Haha."? He was the worst when it came to conversations and he just knew he would screw this up the way he did the previous one. His heart, mind and body were all going crazy but nothing came out of it - he was still just as clueless.

"Stop sulking, oh my God! It's not like you've never made mistakes before, you've made plenty, and this just adds up to it. Just make sure you don't repeat it and you're good to go."

Charles, though he wasn't in the mood to, laughed at that. Maddie always said things in a blunt way; she never sugarcoated. Even though most people would've been offended by what she'd just said, somehow, that wasn't the case with Charles; it rather made things a lot better for him. He was glad to have her by his side, he didn't want to let her go ever.

"Fine, fine..." he said and decided to pay attention in class. Political science was something that bored the hell out of Charles and he didn't have a clue why and how people took this as a subject in their higher grades. Even for someone who liked to study, using his time to learn political science was as good as using the same time to stare at a wall. Nevertheless, he did anyway, because, well, he had to.

After the boring class, he and Madeline walked out. Madeline quickly called out to Charles and, before he knew it, hugged him tight.

"Eww don't hug me!" Charles exclaimed, clearly not one for hugs. At least that's what he claimed. The truth was, he didn't know how to react when someone hugged him - he just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He wasn't sure why people hugged others, he just saw it as something very dramatic and something only people in love would do.

"Still like this, I see... Don't think I don't know you and don't remember how you used to cling on to me when we were this much -" she brought her hand close to her knee, indicating how small they were, "- and how you used to love playing with my hair. Yeah, don't think I forgot all that."

Charles was soon red in the face with embarrassment. He lightly hit her head and was trying to get ready to go talk with Sam, now that school was over. He hoped he could catch him before he goes off home - Charles didn't think he could live with himself if not.

Suddenly, he heard Simon's voice say, "Hey, good luck, I heard from Maddie you're gonna talk to Sam. She already told me everything and like, what you did wasn't surprising - " he stifled a laugh, "- but then again, like she said, though, it wasn't like you walked off after he called out to you, so I'd say you don't bring it up when you're talking to him. And since you're so set on apologizing, you might as well use that as an excuse. Try not to make it as awkward as yesterday."

"Yeah, of course. Thanks..." Charles said, not knowing what else to say. As cringe-y as it sounded, he knew he must've done something really great in his past life to be able to have friends like them. Ready to call him out when he's wrong, ready to give him loads of advice and love, ready to support him and help him fix his mistakes. He truly was grateful. When Simon saw him tearing up, he quickly put his arms around Charles and said, "Hey, there's no need for that now. If you go all teary eyed, you're only gonna make Sam cry more. You're going there to comfort him and apologize, right?"

Charles nodded. He didn't even pull away from the hug. He had to admit, it did feel good. The only reason why he didn't show it was because it was embarrassing. Maddie, who was watching all of this unfold, was clearly offended.

"Hey!! When I hug you, you go all, "Eww stop it" and when he does you don't?! What kind of unjust-?" she burst out, obviously sounding extra dramatic as she put her hands up in the air. Charles just chuckled and said, "Sorry?"

He quickly checked his watch and proceeded to say, "Okay, I really have to go now, I'm not even sure if Samuel is still in school. Also, I beg you both not to watch us, it's very very embarrassing."

They both just laughed and got going. Charles had work to do now. He walked aimlessly, trying to catch sight of a small boy with a dark blue hoodie. Maybe he's in the ground? he thought. Then, he realized that Sam would be in a place that's quiet - he definitely wouldn't go to a crowded place when he was hanging so low. The quietest place that he could think of was the infirmary, or- the school park. Yes, he was most definitely there. Charles broke into a run, maneuvering his way through the halls. He knew his school pretty well, so it wasn't so hard. Soon, he was walking through the gates.

Just as he did, he slowed his pace down, taking in the tranquility and greenery of the place. Even though Charles wasn't really a plant or nature enthusiast, he had to admit this place was very peaceful. Lush green trees with beautiful flowers of many kinds and colors surrounded the park. He could see hues of red, purple and orange - some of his favorite colors. Under different circumstances, he would've looked at each of those flowers and admired them, but at the moment, he had other issues to tend to. Just as he walked inside, he saw a few benches towards the side, their colors perfectly matching with those of the flowers. On one of those sat none other than Samuel.

Charles could feel his nerves starting to dance with anxiety with each step he took.

Come on, this isn't that hard. Just go and sit next to him and wait till he looks up at you. And then say something comforting. Not so hard.

Not so hard, he kept repeating to himself as he went closer to Sam, who was hugging his bag tightly and sitting. His face was buried inside the bag, so Charles was only able to see a small ball of fluffy brown hair, which made him go "aww" internally. Now is not the freaking time! Get yourself together, ugh, he thought, silently scolding himself. He really couldn't get rid of such thoughts no matter what situation he was in.

Before he knew it, there he was, right in front of Sam, who paid no attention to him. In his defense, he didn't even know someone was near him. Charles quietly went and sat next to him, leaving a good 15cm gap between them. Nearly a minute passed and he still wasn't looking up. Charles was starting to get really nervous.

What should I do? Shake him? Call his name? Tell him that-

"Oh, h-hi? What are you doing here?" Sam asked, slowly lifting his face, clearly surprised to see the other.

"I um," Charles started to say, "came to see you? You looked so sad and your friend wasn't with you, so I thought you could use some company. So... here I am."

Charles saw the expression in Sam's face drop. He looked like he was about to cry again, which Charles didn't want at all. "H-hey, it's okay, why..."

"Why are you here? Don't you have places to go to?"

Charles was shaken up. He wasn't sure why the usually cheerful and shy boy was in such a state, and he didn't know what to do about it either. He thought for a while and said, "Sparing a few minutes for someone who's so lonely wouldn't hurt. It's okay, we can just sit here in silence. Unless you... want to tell me what's wrong. N-not if you don't want to, that's perfectly fine... I know how it feels."

Sam hummed and sat there in silence, not knowing what to say either.

After some time, though, slowly, he started talking about the things running in his head. Despite being really surprised that he actually talked, Charles heard every word, every voice crack, every strain in his breath. Sam looked so broken, so down, and with the way he was just pouring everything to a near stranger, Charles could tell he badly needed someone to listen to him. And so he did. While listening, though, he didn't dare to look at Sam's face.

To say that it pained his heart was an understatement. While he was glad that Sam had talked to him, he wanted to counter his every word. He wanted to show Sam that there were people who saw worth in him, people whose days he made better with just one smile, people who cared about him and people who thought he was nothing but a small ball of sunshine. Not an annoyance or a waste of space. Charles swore to himself that he would. He was determined to set things less awkward between them. Let it take an eternity, he didn't care.

When Sam was done, Charles caught sight of his face clearly and his heart broke at how red and puffy Sam's eyes were and how his nose was running. He wanted to tell him something comforting, but he couldn't think of anything. He really was the worst at consoling people.

Suddenly, it came to his mind that one of the main reasons he'd come here was to apologize to Sam. He didn't know whether it was the right time, though. He chose to give it a few minutes. Then he saw Sam sit up straight. He asked, "You're feeling better?"

To wish he responded, "Yeah, I am. Thank you..."

As soon as he uttered those words, he took his bag and scurried away from Charles, who could do nothing but sigh. At least they'd made some progress. At least Sam didn't hate him. He would definitely apologize under better circumstances. Charles took out his phone and texted Maddie and Simon.

[ Perfectly imperfect ]

Charle_s

I talked to him

more like he talked and I listened

he ran away from me tho :(

guess he was embarrassed

which is understandable cuz he just vented out to a near stranger

I hope I'll be able to make things better with him soon the sight of his sad face broke my heart I'm not even kidding

on a side note he's so adorable ugh

_MaD_

OH MY GOSH FINALLY MY BOY TALKED UGH I'M SHEDDING HAPPY TEARS

ALSO YOU'RE SO SOFT AND FOR WHAT

SINCE WHEN DO YOU SAY "BROKE MY HEART"

B*TCH SINCE WHEN DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HEART HUH

Charle_s

Stop yelling ohmygosh and shut up I'm not soft

and excuse me? I do have a heart tyvm

Simonster

I'm glad

now all you need to do is put the awkwardness aside, be friends, flirt and then BAAM

bOyFrIeNdS

Ohemgee Charlie with a boyfriend? lemme just go cri-

_MaD_

HASDHSGDFKJSDFHKSDJFKJDH

Charle_s

you both are unbelievable

* * *

That was long, yikes

and now while editing, I'm like, wow, if this is long, I wonder what past me will think if she sees all the other chapters. :')