21 | Love

long ass chapter again,,

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You might be wondering what the big thing Charles was working on for the past few days. It was nothing, to be honest. He was just really anxious around Sam after the night they both spent together, because that was when he admitted to being in love with him. He was so close to telling him that, too. Charles didn't know how long he'd put up an act, pretending like they were just friends and nothing more. Even though he cherished the friendship that had bloomed between the both of them, he wanted more. He was a human, after all. So, right after their exams were over, Charles started to make plans and think of ways in which he could tell Sam his feelings. He wanted to view their relationship from a third person's perspective - did it look like they were friends who had feelings for each other? Or did it look like they were friends and one only one of them was hopelessly in love with the other?

After researching, Charles found a few clues that proved to be useful. The day of the math exam. Sam had said, "I was thinking about y- what period I have next, that's... that's all." Now, pause here for a second. "I was thinking about y-"? He was pretty sure Sam had thought of something else to say but ended up saying something totally different. And that raised his suspicions. The second clue was that Sam hadn't texted him much at all. Mind you, they usually didn't text much, but when they did, for the past three days, he typed for an awfully long time but his replies would always be words like, "oh, haha," or "that's nice," or "oh I bet Simon would be proud of you." Charles knew Sam wasn't that slow of a typist, and besides, who took ages to type "haha"? And the third and last clue that proved to be useful to Charles was that since the day of the math exam, Sam didn't look anyone in the eye. He usually never did - it would be awkward for him to crane his neck upwards just to look at someone - but for the whole day, it almost seemed as if he was avoiding it on purpose. Because he knew. He knew that if someone were to look at him, really look at him, his eyes would give out everything he'd tried to hide. As cringe-y as it sounded, Sam's eyes always gave him away. That was one of the main reasons why he couldn't lie - it would be clearly seen.

With all these thoughts roaming his mind, he thought of confirming if his guesses were right by texting Sam everything, but he knew that was too cheap and it would be way too easy. And he could bet his right leg that if this were to happen over text, the moment he and Sam see each other, they'd be as awkward as they were the first time they met each other. So, it had to happen in person. But how?

Just then, his phone rang. He saw the caller ID. June...?

"Hello?"

"Uh... Charles?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I'll get straight to the point. You like Sam, don't you?"

Charles's heart was caught in his throat. How did he know? "Uh- I don't know wh-what you m-"

"You can fool anyone, buddy, but when it comes to Sam, no one can fool me. So, do you?"

"No," he responded. I love him.

"Why must you lie-"

"I love him," he said, releasing a breath of anxiousness. June was quiet for a while. And then, with a small laugh, he said, "Well... this is unexpected."

"Is it, though?"

"Was it supposed to be expected? I thought you just had a crush on him, I didn't know your feelings ran that deep..."

"I'll be honest with you, June. I've been crushing on him since the start of the school year. That's the reason why I even talked to him in the first place."

"Start of the school year? Damn, that's a lot of time."

"It is..."

"So... you plan on telling him anytime soon?"

"Wh-why do you want to know that?"

"I don't know, man. I've been waiting for you to do something for a while because I knew you had a thing for him for quite some time. But I didn't see you do anything, you seemed like you weren't even trying. That's why I called you, you know... to give you a small push."

Charles had a sneaking suspicion that this was all Madeline's work. She was the one who'd make people do stuff like this.

"Would you believe me if I said that that's what I was thinking about before you called me? Because I was. Remember the 'big thing' I said I was working on? It was just me looking for clues- like, looking back at everything we've done, everything he's said to me, the way he acts around me, and stuff like that..."

"Hm, I get what you're tryna say... and I do believe you. Why wouldn't I?" June said with a soft chuckle.

"I don't know..."

After a small pause, June continued, "Sam really likes you, you know... I don't know if he does in the same way you do, but he's really fond of you."

"He is?" 'Fond.' What a sweet word.

"Yeah. You managed to barge inside his little bubble and help him break it, all while making sure you weren't hurting him in any way. You're a good guy, you know? And Sam thinks so, too. You should talk to him. And even if he doesn't return your feelings, wouldn't it be worth it? You love him, don't you?"

"I do..." I can totally understand why someone like June is Sam's best friend. It just makes so much sense.

"I'm not trying to rush you, don't get the wrong idea. You can do it at your own pace. I'm just telling you that the longer you wait, the harder it would get. And now's a perfect time, right? Imagine the stuff you both could do to spend you time with each other... no walls or secrets in between? Okay, maybe I am trying to rush you. Because I'm... I'm as eager as you to know what Sam's answer will be, Charles. So, not only for you or Sam, but do it A.S.A.P. for me, okay?"

"..." Charles was about to cry. He wondered how Sam dealt with June on a daily basis - he was the sweetest person he'd ever come across. From the way he worded his sentences and the soft voice he'd use when he realizes that he's being too assertive to the caring and supportive part of his personality, June was an example set to the world of how a human should be.

"...Charlie? You there?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Don't tell me you're crying over this. C'mon, Sam's a sensitive guy. If you go all crying, he'll start crying, too."

"I-I'm not! No, It just... slipped..."

"What, the tears?"

"Yeah..."

June laughed heartily at that. "It's okay, don't stress out too much. Just... do what you think is right. I just wanted to give you some advice and tell you what I think. The rest is up to you."

"Thank you, June. I can totally get why Sam loves you so much," he said, blatantly honest.

"Aww he does, yeah. And it's no problem. I'll be more than happy if you got something out of the talk we had now."

"I did... I think I have some more motivation to talk to him now."

"Yay! Now I can go plan y'all's wedding with Maddie!"

"Sh-shut up! We're fifteen, not twenty-five," Charles said, clearly flustered. Marry...? Ah, no, shut up, stop dreaming.

"Hm, if you say so. Okay, lover boy, go talk. It won't sort itself out."

Lover boy?! "Maddie's rubbing off on you too much, I swear... And yeah, I'll... I'll talk to him. Thank you, June, really."

"I told you, there's no need to thank me. Okay, then. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye!"

Charles's heart filled with hope once he hung up. June really was a blessing to this world, he really hoped they'd never lose touch as the years go by. Just as he picked up his phone again, with full intention to ask Sam if he could come to his house, he saw that Sam had already texted him.

Sammy

hey, charles

if you're not busy, if you're done with the thing you said you were working on...

can you come over?? I'm bored out of my mind

we could hav some fun, my sister has a few video games

if you're into that, I mean...

if not then we could always just

jhsuygdjhdsjh we'll figure smth out but pleeeaseee tell me you have time

Charle_s

for you, I have all the time in the world|

for you, I have all the|

for you|

sure, sam

I'm done with my work, you'll get to see it soon :))

when should I come over?

Sammy

YAY IM EAGER TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE IN STORE

and you can come, like, now

I was literally staring at my wall before you replied because I had nothing to do

Charle_s

lmAO

okay, I'll be there in some time

Sammy

yesss

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And before he knew it, there he was, standing in front of Sam's dark brown door. It had been around fifteen minutes since he'd last talked to Sam. With his heart picking up speed and his face flushed due to the sun, Charles rang the bell and waited. Sam's mom was the one who greeted him inside.

"Oh, Charles! Come on in, did Sam invite you over?"

"Yeah... didn't he inform you, auntie?"

[ YEA IDK WHAT I SHOULD MAKE HIM CALL HER EXCEPT THAT JDHHSDKJDF ]

"He didn't, but that's okay! You can go inside, he's in his room," she said with a smile. So this is where Sam got his cute smile from, huh, he thought, placing his shoes in a corner. Their house wasn't all that big - it was a one storied house, so Charles wasted no time in going in. On the way, though, he heard a voice singing something absolutely melodious. As he neared Sam's room, the sound got louder and louder. And outside his bedroom was none other than Kat, Sam's dear sister, trying to eavesdrop. The sight made him laugh. Since Kat's back was facing him, she didn't know that he was there yet. Trying not to freak her out, Charles lightly tapped on her shoulder, trying to get her attention. As it ran in their genes, Kat flinched harshly and was about to scream, but upon seeing that it was just him, she closed her mouth.

"Shh. Sammy's singing, I wanna listen. You see, it happens often but I never get the chance to hear him properly. N-not that I like his voice or something, but let him finish. And then you can go in," she said. He found it adorable how the two had their own ways of loving each other, but when asked about the same, they'd deny it until their last breath.

"Sure," he responded.

"Come on, I'll give you some space. Press your ear to the door, you'll be able to hear him crystal clear."

Without a word, he did just that, and heard Sam. Charles wasn't that big a fan of music - he just listened to whatever his mother played on her speakers early in the morning. He didn't know much about singing, either, but even he could tell that Sam had been singing since long. And it sounded absolutely gorgeous. Charles concentrated only on how Sam's voice stayed perfectly on pitch the entire time; his ears were practically glued to the door. And within what felt like seconds to Charles, the singing ceased. He heard Sam giggling to himself because of how dramatically he ended it. And after that, there was no sound to be heard.

Taking that as his cue to go in, Charles kept his hand on the doorknob, ready to turn it, when Kat whisper-yelled, "Wait!! Lemme quickly go back to my room and close it, and then you open the door." With that, she took off, running across the living room to the other side of the house where her room was. Once Charles made sure she was in and her door was closed, he opened the door to Sam's room, only to see him sitting on a chair near his study desk with headphones on. He was wearing a soft light-blue sweater that matched with his grey sweatpants. Even though he couldn't see Sam properly, he just looked so- so squishy.

Deciding to give him a tiny surprise, Charles quietly walked behind him and put his hands over Sam's eyes. With his heart still racing and his face still flushed, now from the contact he'd made with Sam, Charles kept quiet, the only sound in the room being the beating of his heart. To his surprise, Sam didn't scream or yell, just let out a small sound of surprise and said, "Charles..."

"Yep, it's me," he confirmed.

Getting up from his chair and turning to where Charles stood, with a slightly sad face, he asked, "What took you so long...?"

"Long? I texted you, like, fifteen minutes ago, saying that I'll be here in a few minutes, and here I am. Maybe it felt like a long time to y-you... haha..." What the heck is wrong with me. That 'haha' was so unnecessary and weird. Why the hell am I like this?

"Yeah... each passing minute was like, an eternity because l-like I said, I was... dying of not seeing-... I-I mean, of boredom..."

Not seeing... me? No, shut up, brain. "Okay... what do you wanna do?"

"Um, anything. Usually when I'm with June, we-"

Charles's brain suddenly clicked as he remembered something. Interrupting Sam, he said, "Oh, wait! Now you can't escape from me, aha!"

"What...?"

"I heard you sing your heart out just a few minutes ago. Now, since we both have nothing to do..." he said, going a tad bit closer to Sam. "Sing for me."

"N-no, that wasn't m-"

"Don't lie to me, I can recognize your voice in my sleep. Now, if y- hey!!" Not listening to what Charles was about to say, Sam took off, trying to get out of his room, only to be stopped by Charles - who caught him by putting his arms around the boy from behind. Wh-what am I doing?? Argh, this is emba- o-oh... He smells so nice... I wonder what soap he uses-

"Hey!! Let me go, I-"

"Not until you agree." He's so cute. Someone save me.

"N-no, it wasn't-"

"Only one song, Sam," he managed to say in between his mental crisis. He's so small. He's so precious. I feel like crying. I want to kiss him.

After trying to struggle out of Charles's grasp for a good five seconds, Sam went quiet in his arms and rested his head on the crook of Charles's neck. "...only one," he said, his voice small.

"Only one," Charles echoed, agreeing.

"Y-you have to let me go... I won't be able to sing if you don't," Sam said, slight hesitance in his tone.

I don't want to... but he agreed to sing. For me.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, letting him go. Sam nervously searched for something before remembering that said thing was on his desk and went over to take it. It was his phone, which he was now furiously typing on.

"Can you give me your phone?" he asked after he was done with whatever he was doing with his own.

"Okay..." he said, reaching into his pocket. "Here."

"Um- it needs a password..."

"Oh, yeah, sorry," he said, gently taking it away from Sam's hands and unlocking it. He then proceeded to give it to Sam, who searched for something and gave it back to him. But before Charles could look at what it was, Sam quickly said, "No!! Don't see it now. It's the lyrics of the song I'm gonna sing, but since it isn't in English... I- I thought you'd want to..."

"Oh, I'll look at it when you start, then?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Can you turn to the side and not look at me?"

"And why would I do that?"

"Because I get really nervous, e-even June hasn't heard- I mean seen me... sing..."

With a small laugh, he said, "Okay, if that'll make you feel better."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now, sing," he said, turning his head to the side. From his peripheral view, he could still see Sam, so he thought it won't make that big of a difference.

And with that, he started to sing. No background music, no snapping of fingers according to the beat, no stomping of feet on the ground - the only sounds that filled the entire room was Samuel's voice - his soft, melodic and beautiful voice, and, unsurprisingly, the beating of Charles's heart. He completely forgot that he was supposed to see the lyrics - the phone was long abandoned. He focused on Sam and only Sam - the precious individual sitting beside him, the boy who'd caught his eye a year back and managed to be the only thing Charles saw for the rest of the year, the same boy who'd somehow created a special place in Charles's heart that he treasured so much.

Though he started off sounding a little shaky, which was understandable, Sam continued to sing, eventually finding his tone, his voice penetrating Charles's brain to make sure that that was the only thing he heard. And it was. Lost in the realm of Sam and his sweet, musical voice, Charles felt like he was floating in thin air the way snowflakes do on a cold, winter morning. Letting Sam's voice take complete control over him, Charles melted into it and swore he fell in love with Sam all over again. Stuck in a daze, Charles didn't even realize when Sam was done.

Turning his head to the side to look at the boy's face once he was out of his reverie, Charles didn't think he could control himself any longer. He went close, his heart still racing, his eyes closing in on Sam's beautiful face as he grabbed both of his cheeks, pulling him closer. The both of them exchanged each other's breaths, looking into his each other's eyes. And in Sam's, he could see love. Genuine and pure.

Without wasting a second, Charles closed the distance between their lips, catching Sam off guard. With his eyes closed, he kissed Sam, his hands slowly going up to hold the boy's head head gently, his heart struggling to beat out of his chest and his face aflame. Charles melted into it, thoroughly enjoying every second of it, only hoping Sam felt the same. His joy and relief only grew when he felt Sam trying to kiss him back, shyly moving his lips against his own. Charles dropped his hands down to take Sam's hands - Sam's small, adorable hands in his own and continued to kiss him, devouring every second of every collision they made. Naturally, he didn't want this moment to end. I love him. I love him so much.

When he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore, Charles pulled away, eyes still closed. Not a second later, he felt Sam's arms around him, his head resting on the other boy's chest. Charles waited but a moment to return it. Since they were seated, it would've looked pretty awkward for a third person, but to him, it felt so good. Too good.

"...I like you, too," Sam said.

Oh... "I don't like you, Sam," he said, close to tears. Don't cry, he coaxed himself, don't cry.

"Wh-what?"

"I love you."

I hear the ocean from far away

Across the dream, past the woods

Even if the earth crumbles

No matter who shakes this world

Don't let go of my hand

Please don't wake me up from this dream

- Euphoria, Jungkook

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*deep breath* I tried. I really tried. I hope it was worth it bcuz as you know, ya girl here hasn't even had a proper crush in her soon-to-be sixteen years of existence. That was written solely off of the experiences I've had reading some hundred books. I reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally hope it was fine and wasn't too rushed,, I'm so bad at this plsnsdhjgsdkajsdsak