Deviant Hearts: Chapter 35

I can barely move. Barely breathe.

The room spins dizzyingly, my vision cutting in and out as I cling to consciousness.

But I’m alive.

I’m alive.

Except right now, I’m not sure I even want to be.

“Please…”

The word croaks from my lips, ash from a dying fire. I can feel hot tears beading in my eyes, blurring them as I stare at him.

Ares is lying on the floor next to me, facing me. His eyes are closed, and I’m straining as hard as I can to see any possible sign of him breathing at all. Whenever I do catch the faintest movement of his lips, or the tiniest hint of a rise in his chest, my heart lurches.

He can’t die.

He can’t fucking die.

The room swims in and out again as I wince, using my last energy reserves to push my hand across the bloody floor towards him. Millimeter by millimeter, my fingers crawl sluggishly toward him. Finally, my knuckles brush his.

“Ares…”

My body is cold. My gaze drops to the needle in my arm, and the tube snaking across to Ares, where another needle is taking his blood and putting it into me.

I want to rip out. I want to stop this man from bleeding out his last drops of life for me. To save me.

I don’t want to be saved if I leave him behind.

I strain. I strain so hard to reach for it with my other hand. But that one is still resting against his, and it just won’t move.

I’m going cold. I think I might be dying.

I think we might be dying.

“Ares…please…”

The words are sheets of paper blowing in a gale.

“Please wake up.”

His chest goes still.

It stays still.

“Please,” I exhale, a tear trickling down my face. “Please wake up. I love you…”

He’s not moving. My heart begins to tear in half as my vision fades, then goes out. After that all I know is the touch of his knuckles to mine.

Then that disappears, too.

Lights flash. Someone’s knocking on something. No, breaking. Hammering. Someone roars—screaming the words, whatever they are. The scream comes again, closer now, but still muffled, as if yelled through a pillow.

“Neve…”

The lights flash again, piercing the darkness around me for just a moment. I want to say something. I want to call for help and tell the voice that yes, I’m down here at the bottom of this darkness, but I can’t.

I can’t move. I can’t speak a word.

But suddenly I can feel Ares’ knuckles again, brushing mine.

“Neve!”

Someone’s calling my name. And then I have the sensation of being touched. Hands are on me, rolling me. My hand slips away from Ares’.

It feels like being ripped in half. I want to scream at the hands to help him. To leave me and help him. But no words come. It’s like I’m floating in a netherworld between underwater and dry land.

Or between life and death.

“She’s here! Get him the fuck in here! GO!”

More yelling. More hands touching me as something thuds to the ground beside me. Bright lights blare into my eyes. Someone’s saying my name over and over.

“Get her into the car!”

“We can’t move her—”

“Get her into that fucking car or I’ll rip your goddamn head off right here.”

Hands grab me, lifting me. My head lolls to the side, and suddenly, I’m looking down at him—at Ares.

“No…”

I’m being carried away from him. He’s just lying there, unmoving, looking so heart-wrenchingly pale.

Please don’t take me away from him.

My vision starts to fade, then my eyes open once more, landing on him as he falls away from me. Then everything goes black.

And my heart truly breaks.