Chapter 13

"Gauri, are you listening to me?" Keerthi didi asked me over the phone. I was sitting alone on a bench on school grounds. Thank god, I was alone. Because I was sure I did not look that good, right now.

"Yeah," I said without still being recovered from the shock. "Can you repeat that please?" I asked. Fear creeping inside me.

"I am so sorry, Gauri. I should have known that he will eventually get to my phone's call record." She said.

"So he knows I am here now?" I asked.

"Well..." She sounded really nervous. "He just knows the general location. And he does not even know for sure you are there yet. Your uncle is just searching the area because one of my frequent in contact persons has mobile reception that originates in that area. I should have been more careful."

Horror washed over me.

"I will be fine," I said. "I mean, I am registered under a different name in this school," I said. "Also I am disguised as a boy. They will be searching for a girl, right?"

"Yeah," Keerthi didi said.

"I will be fine."

"Just be careful, Gauri..." Keerthi didi said in a worried tone. "I will try to fix it up somehow here as well."

I nodded.

So it was Friday already. I have to go to the date thing with Ayisha on Sunday. I tried to think of a reason to cancel the plan. Maybe I can pretend that I am unwell or sick. Or maybe I should just tell her honestly. I mean, I can go to the movie with her. But I need to tell her that it was not a date. That, if we are going, we are going as just friends. But it was difficult to convince her because I was wandering around making it evident that I have a crush on her.

I was worried over that and was walking in the corridor when Ayisha passed me. She smiled as she passed me. I stopped, "Hey, can I talk to you?" I asked.

"Sure." She said stopping.

Maybe it's better to ease her into it than bluntly say I can't come to the movie with her. I don't even know how to tell her that yet. "Eh... Can we talk over a coffee?" I asked. That was easier. "My treat."

Ayisha nodded. "Let's go to the canteen," I said. She followed me.

We sprinted down the stairs and I walked into the canteen. Loud music hit my ears as soon as I entered the canteen. There was a crowd gathered in the middle of the canteen. The song was a BTS Korean song, a fast one.

"Wow, what's happening?" Ayisha asked beside me. I had no idea. "Let's go find out," I asked interested.

Three tables were arranged side by side in the middle of the canteen that served as a stage. And to my horror, Jai was on this stage. She was dancing. No... I could not say 'she' for Jai at all at that moment. Because HE was more of a boy have I ever seen him before. He had done something to his hair, it stood up in a perfect jelled way, He has left his tie loose and the coat was off. He was wearing his coolest watch in one hand and our boyish wristband in the other. His belt was a really good one. But it was not his clothes and accessories. It was the way he moved and danced. His moves and expression was a total total total boy. He moved from side to side along with the music in perfect moves. HE was cool.

People were whistling and cheering for him. His sneakers collided with the table in perfect rhythm. His every movement was with confidence. And when I looked around, all the girls in the vicinity was almost swooning.

"Wow, he is good," Ayisha said beside me, clapping her hand along with the music. "I didn't know Jai could dance this good. He looks so cool."

Yeah. I didn't know either.

To my horror, Jai did a backflip and ended up on his feet perfectly. Girls swooned and guys whistled on that. Jai jumped up and extended his hand to the group of girls standing on the ground. Anjali gave her hand to him, He pulled her up the stage, and gave her a swirl in his hands, and lay her to his hand, flipping her down. He winked at her. Anjali totally blushed.

"Oh, I wish I was her..." I heard a junior girl say that besides me. "She is so lucky."

Jai left Anjali and continued his one-man dance of total manliness.

Everybody was having fun. Ayisha beside me had totally got lost in the music and was clapping her hand and moving along with the music. So was everyone else. It was as if the whole cafeteria had gone viral, it was as if someone had put everyone to a trace or magic, where only Jai remained in everyone's eyes. It was as if there was a spotlight on him even when there was none.

Jai did a final jump high in the air and landed perfectly crouched down with one hand on the table, and looking up. People went frantic. They were whistling and clapping frantically. There were 'once more' cries from the crowd. But Jai stood up and jumped down from the table coolly and landed on the ground.

Girls crowded near him. He gave them his boyish grin and even gave his number to some junior girls who asked for it. Some girls behind me were saying. "Oh...I am totally having a crush on him. What was his name again?"

"Jai Varma." Another one answered to her. "That bhaiyya is in class 12 A."

"Eugh... Are you crazy someone as good as eatable as that as 'bhaiyya'? I am declaring him as the coolest guy in the school from today."

"He totally is." Another one was saying. "He is so cute. And cool. I wish if I can just bite into him."I turned to the girls swiftly. They blinked on seeing me. I was clearly intimidating them.

But these girls were not my priority now. I had others things to worry about now. For example, Jai. What the hell happened to her??? Even when she was slightly crazy, this was totally out of character even for her. There was something wrong.

I looked at Jai, who was laughing among some girls now. Ayisha was by my side again.

"Hey, what did you want to talk about?" She asked. "Are we not getting our coffee?"

"Can that wait?" I asked Ayisha. "I need to have a talk with my best friend."

"Why?" Ayisha adjusted her hair. "He was so damn cool."

"Exactly..." I pushed past her and walked to Jai. He saw me.

"Hey, bro," He jumped up to me. I gave him my suspicious look. Something was wrong. I could see that.

"Hey, Jai..." An 11th std girl called him, "Can you join us for coffee?" She was totally flirting with Jai.

"Sure," He said.

I put my hand to Jai's elbow to stop him. He looked up at me. "I will catch you later, man," Jai said, in a total guy manner and took his hand away and left with the girls. I was left there alone, to gaze after Jai.

What the FUCK just happened???

Varun came near me to look at Jai. "He was so freaking cool," Varun said. He gazed at the girls flirting with Jai. "I wish I were him," Varun said. "Me too," Happy added.

I turned to them. "Trust me, you would not want to be him," I said. It's not even a 'him'. I looked at Jai with annoyance and left the canteen to go to my room.

Jai did not come back to the room early that night. I knew he was somewhere in the hostel because I had seen him goofing around with some other guys. But he didn't come to the room until 11 pm. When he finally came in, he was whistling the tune of the song he danced to and texting on his phone.

It was still a 'he'. I still could not refer Jai to as 'she'. Because he was a total F-ing GUY.

He dropped down to his bed, without even removing his sneakers, and continued to text on phone. He had this annoying grin on his face.

"Who are you texting?" I asked.

"Aditi. Of class 11 D." He briefly glanced up at me and then back to the phone and he laughed at whatever reply 'Aditi' had sent him.

"I don't think she even knew you before today," I said annoyed.

"Oh, she didn't," Jai said. "But that's okay," Jai said.

I felt more than just annoyed. Now I am competing with a girl and getting jealous of a girl???

Jai set his mobile down and went over to the mirror to check his own reflection. He adjusted a few strands of his already awesomely standing up hair, and took out a sunglass from the drawer and put it on and made a shooting gesture to the mirror. "Maybe I should get a beard." She said to the mirror.

Enough is enough. I got up from the bed and walked to her. "Okay... Spill." I said.

"What?" She turned to me.

"What's up with you? You are acting weird."

"You think that was weird?" She laughed. "That was cool, bro..." She gave a Yo symbol. "That was fucking awesome."

The only way to get this on the cloud boy back to the ground was to use her real name.

"Gauri..." I called.

Her face went dark at once. Her expression was venomous. It confused me. It means something is really really wrong. "Gauri, what's wrong?" I stepped closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

She pulled away from me with a kind of hatred and loathing in her eyes. "It's Jai." She plainly said. "I wish you had never found out." She mumbled and turned away from me. She took off her sneakers and dropped to the bed and covered herself with the blanket without even removing her uniform.

I understood that something is really wrong.

But approaching her now may not be such a good idea.

Even by one day, Jai's popularity had skyrocketed. Someone had taken a video of Jai's dance and it was spreading through Whatsapp throughout our school. Buy Saturday evening he was bloody God in our school.

I was not sure why she was attracting all this attention though. Isn't it really dangerous for her?? The video of the dance was now even uploaded on YouTube. But there was one thing though, no one who sees the dance will suspect that Jai was a girl. He was a total absolute complete boy in the dance. Even I who know that he is a girl will only think of him as a boy in the video.

And Jai was the most popular 'boy' in the school now. Even little kids of the school knew him and looked around when he walked past. Even 11-year-old girls had a crush on him.

I woke up on Sunday morning hearing yelling and cheering outside. I opened my eyes and walked out. Jai and Varun were having a re-match of the arm wrestling. I shook my head and walked in. It was 9:30 am.

My mobile rang. I went and picked it up. It was a number I had not saved.

"Hello..." I said.

"Hey..." A girl's voice said.

"Sorry. Who is this?"

"It's me Ayisha..." Of, fuck. The movie. I totally forgot about that among this whole mess of Jai. "Hey..." I said.

"Aren't we supposed to go to the movie?"

"Yeah," I said. I can't cancel now, can I??

"Okay. So what time should I meet you?"

"The movie is at 11.30. So 10:30?" I asked. I can probably explain it to her on the way that it's not a date, right?

"Okay." She said, "I will meet you in front of the girls' hostel at 10:30."

"Okay,"

She hung up.

While I was getting ready, Jai came back to the room. He was still being the annoying 'guy' as he was. Still...since she is technically still the girl I was in love with, I turned to Jai.

"Eh... I am going on that movie with Ayisha."

Jai looked up. Unaffected. Not even a sign of jealousy or possessiveness. "Cool," He said. "Hey, make sure you hold her hand during the movie."

"What?" I snapped at her more annoyed than ever. Is she telling me to make a move on another girl?

"That works on girls, bro." Jai said, "Don't go for a kiss on the first date. That ruins it. But holding hands is fine."

"Is that why ours ruined. Because I kissed you on our first date?" I asked, annoyed the hell out. But this direct attack totally bounced off her as well. No reaction.

"Who are you?" I hissed.

"Me? JAI." She said plainly. "Have fun at the date, buddy." She hit my shoulder.

That was the limit. I pushed her against the wall and pressed my lips to her.

Veer was kissing me. I was so tired out of everything was that I didn't even have the energy to push him off me. I just stayed there. I did not kiss him back. I didn't care that he was going on a date with another girl. I didn't want to feel any emotion. I wanted to make myself numb. So I can't feel anything at all. So that even if a needle pierced my heart, I can't feel the pain, because it was bloody lifeless. Like a paralyzed limb. Numb was nice.

There was something so so wrong. Jai was not even reacting. She just stayed there. Even when my lips kissed her, she was so still. It was as if kissing a dead body. I moved back at one.

"You are scaring me, you know that?" I asked, hissing. "What is wrong with you? Can't you tell even me?" I asked. Pleading... "Jai, Gauri... Please..." I tilted my head to her shoulder.

I closed my eyes tightly. I could feel his pain... He pressed himself close to me. I wanted to console him. But I could not bring myself to do it. I opened my eyes and put a hand to his arm and lightly pushed him. He moved back.

"Go for the date, Veer," I said.

"It's not a date." He shook his head. "I am going to tell her that."

"Don't," I said. "You like Ayisha."

"I love you." He stepped closer to me.

"Go on the date." Was all could say, and I turned around and left him.

All I could think of was about Jai during the whole time. I didn't even see the movie properly. I could not remember the story of the movie at all. I was just feeling crushed inside. Like something broke into a thousand pieces.

I left Ayisha in front of the girls' hostel. I know that the idea was to talk with her and tell her that it was 'not a date'. But I was in no mood to talk with her or talk at all. I had been way too silent during the whole thing. To the extent that Ayisha had clearly detected something is wrong.

"I am sorry," I told her when we were in front of the girls' hostel. I think I was a big jerk today. "I... I am sorry, Ayisha, really"

"Is there something wrong?" Ayisha asked.

I looked away. "There is this other girl who is driving me nuts," I admitted.

Ayisha nodded. "Okay," she said. She didn't look hurt. She looked understanding. She didn't accuse me of anything.

"I am really sorry," I told her. She nodded. "It's fine. It was one date anyway." She said. I nodded.

"Bye," I said. She nodded.

When I went back into the room, Jai was on the bed. Sleeping. I smiled. At least she was asleep. I sat on the bed beside. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping.

Whatever it was I knew that my Jai was in some kind of pain or trouble. She was not herself for the past few days. She was not telling me. But I knew something is wrong. I wanted to help. Somehow... I wanted to take all her problems away.

I moved my hand through Gauri's hair. She woke up on that. I didn't want to wake her. She was so peaceful when she was sleeping. She sat up.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up," I mumbled.

But I was not going to press her any further with my emotions. I could see that it was not going well. It was just creating problems between us.

"I am sorry," I said to her. "I won't bother you anymore. You be Jai. Be a guy. I won't stop you or question or fight with you anymore." I just wanted to be near her. "I won't hold your hand or kiss you anything. Sorry for this morning. Really sorry. I lost control for a second. I am sorry. I won't repeat that."

She was just listening.

"I will be like before. Before all this. Before I knew you were a girl. Is that okay? Is that what you want?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Then I will be that. I promise. I will be your best friend." I held my hand up, fist closed, "Brothers forever." Jai smiled softly and gave me a fist bump.

"So we cool?" I asked her.

She nodded. I smiled.

Things went pretty well for a few days after that. Over the days, Jai's popularity went down a bit. People were not going to worship her forever. Sure some girls still had a crush on Jai. But except for that things went by normally. I was just glad to be back being friends with her. It calmed me to be near her. Even as a friend.

I didn't ask her what had gone wrong. I didn't want to push her. Maybe it was me and my attitude, I concluded. But I didn't want to pressure her in anyways. Now that she was happier.

"My brain is frozen." I pushed back in my chair, after doing a 200 maths problem. My brain was literally buzzing.

"Take a break," Jai called over from her desk.

"We should watch a movie," I said, moving to the bed grabbing my laptop. Jai came over to sit near me. I supported the laptop half on her and half on my lap. We took out Netflix and began to search through. "This one." She pointed to a light looking romantic comedy. I guess the girl in her wanted to watch it. I didn't totally hate the movie either, as the 'comedy' part looked funny enough.

We began to watch. It was just like old times. We, watching something together. It was peaceful. We laughed at the right moments and had similar comments.

There was a kiss scene in the movie. I did not even look at Jai on that. I was determined to keep my eyes away and be platonic. I was not going to do something to get us away from this peaceful time.

After the movie, she went to bed. I lay on my bed awake. It was a full moon so I could see her face in the faint light from the window. So I lay looking at her. Watching her sleeping peacefully. I understood that nothing else other than her happiness and her safety mattered to me. I loved her more than I loved myself. So as long as she was happy, I did not need anything.

Veer kept his words. He remained in the friendship zone. There was no more taunting or trying to probe his male side or anything. He was being as much of a good boy as he can be. He was guarded. He was careful.

But it just was not enough...

His feelings for me came through even all the carefulness he took. He was not as much of a good actor as I was. He never was an actor. So when he spoke to me, his voice was tender, his eyes spilt with love and care and affection.

That was not helping anything.

Everyone in the school knew me as a boy and treated me like a boy. Except for Veer. My dance had left me marked as a cool guy, where the GUY part was more important. I never expected it to blow out of proportion this much. It was more like a stress relief for me. I had got so worked up and scared of the knowledge that my uncle now knows my location and that I am being searched. I just flipped out. But I guess, even my uncle would not recognize me in that dance video. I was totally a guy in the video. And in the end, the dance, the video just ended up helping me, I guess. No one will suspect me to be not be a guy.

The only glitch in my perfect act and scenario was Veer. He looked at me like he would look at a girl he is in love with. Always... I couldn't exactly blame him. He was just 17. And he was in love. First love. And I have heard how First loves can feel like it's the most important thing in the world.

One day we were playing basketball. More like it was my usual no-use basketball training by Veer. And we were kind of having fun.

She was so cute. Trying to score baskets and then frowning when they just fall to the ground. She ran to catch the ball before it fell to the ground. I told her that it was enough and I would show her once more how to throw a basket before she attempted again. She scowled and grabbed the ball.

"I can do it myself," She said and walked to the basket.

He came over and put his hand around my belly and lifted me up and set me aside. He took the ball from me. I felt a bit conscious all of a sudden. I looked around. Ayisha was watching from a distance.

"I can show you once more."

"I can do it myself," I said. Ayisha was watching us.

"No. You can't." He bent down to look at me. "So I am going to show you once more, and we are going to do it again, okay?" he was doing it again. Looking at me with those 'you are the most adorable thing in the world' eyes. I stepped away from him.

My eyes met with Ayisha's. She had her hand crossed over. I sort of felt really guilty to her all of a sudden. I could not look at her. I stepped back.

"Where are you going?" Veer grabbed my hand.

"Hostel. I don't feel so well." I said turning around. I could feel it. Ayisha knew... She knew something. She doubted something. It was all Veer's fault. He was going full-on love mode on me.

"Hey..." Veer caught up with me dropping the ball. "What happened?" He asked, and put a hand on my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" His eyes again spilling love, worry and concern. I pushed him away from me. Ayisha was still watching us. I walked off.

I felt sort of defeated.

I sprinted up the stairs to follow Jai. She was going too fast. But when I was at the steps, one of my classmates caught me, to ask me something, so I delayed for a second. When I reached the room, Jai was standing in the middle of the room, looking down at the floor, looking lost. I locked the door behind me and approached her. "Hey..." I asked her, "You okay?"

You know how easy it is to get distracted by this voice, those eyes. How much strength it takes, for me not to embrace this love and get lost in the comfort of it??

I felt angry with him. He said he will just be my best friend and that only. I wanted to test him. Test his intentions and his resolve. Torture him a bit maybe. Blame him afterwards...

So I turned to him, and pulled him to me by his shoulder, tip-toed a bit and kissed him. My lips hungry against his surprised lips. His surprise only lasted for a second. He responded to it so fast. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and he kissed me back, intensely.

I don't know why we were suddenly kissing, but I didn't care. I was breathless. I pulled Jai tight against me as my lips pulled hers in. I advanced forward with her in my arms. We kind of fell to Jai's bed. I stopped for a second.

Now that this started, the idea of a test kind of vanished from my mind. I just wanted him. So when he stopped, I put my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. Our lips met again. And they started working their magic.

I pushed him down to the bed, so as I was on top, he edged up to kiss me. We kissed hotter, deeper. My hand travelled from his shoulder to down, through his chest, exploring the stiffness of his chest. Veer's hands were firm around my waist.

I could feel the fire between us. The need to just go all the way... He left kissing my lips and started kissing my neck.

"Shall...I...just..." Words came out as pant. "Shall I just sleep with you and then go get myself killed?" It was more like a question to myself. I was actually considering that idea. He stopped kissing my neck. I didn't like that. I tried to kiss his lips, he moved back. "Wait." He whispered. "What did you say?" He asked, out of breath.

"Nothing," I said impatiently.

"No." he said, "What did you say about getting yourself killed?"

I buried my head to his shoulder. I was done now... I could not keep everything bottled in anymore. "I don't want to do this anymore," I whispered against his neck. "I don't want to pretend to be a guy. I am tired."

The words came out in a whisper. But I could feel that she was serious. I could feel her pain.

But why? She had been doing it so well. Better than ever. The whole school thinks of her as a boy now.

Then I thought about it. If she stops being a boy, her cover is blown. That means a lot of bad things. Her safety. Her going away from here. From me. Not until this very second that it had dawned on me that the very second she stops being a boy she could be taken away from me.

No. She has to keep being a guy. She just has to.

"Jai..." I called her. "You have to."

I tried to sit up, she was pinning me down. And she refused to get up. She placed her head on my chest. "I want to die." She said.

That freaked me out. "What did you say??" I pushed her off from me and looked into her eyes. What I saw was not the eyes of Jai that I am used to. She looked tired. She looked lost.

"I want to give up," She whispered. Now I felt scared. I was scared.

I knelt up on the bed and cupped her face in my hand, to make her look into my eyes. "No, Jai...Listen to me. You don't give up, Okay? You can't give up." She just looked the same – defeated. "Gauri, please... You can't. I am here. I will...help you. It's just a few more months. We can pull this out."

"You don't understand." She said. "My uncle knows I am here."

A chill of horror passed down through me. "What?"

"Keerthi didi told me a few days back. He knows I am here."

I could not speak. I...I just...felt so panicked. I can't lose her. Nothing can happen to her.

"Well he does not know I am here as a boy though," Jai said looking down. "He might probably be searching for a girl named Gauri Rai Chaoudahri. So I guess, as long as my cover is not blown, I am sort of safe."

I sat down on the bed looking at her.

"Then that's what we do," I said. "You stay as Jai. The whole school thinks of you as a guy anyway. No one will ever even suspect that you are a girl. Your act is perfect, Jai. Even Happy, Varun thinks of you as a boy."

"Not for long," She mumbled.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You think Happy, Varun doesn't have eyes? Can't people see how you treat me? How you look at me?"

I don't understand.

"Have you seen your own face when you look at me?" She asked. "You look at me with those eyes."

"What eyes?" I asked.

"You look at me like you are in love with me. The eyes have everything. The eyes tell the whole story." Her voice shook as she tried to hold back tears. "People will notice that. People will notice things between us. It won't be long before someone put things together and realize I am a girl. I think Ayisha already did." Jai looked away.

I was realizing what she was saying. What she said did kind of make a bit sense. But I didn't want to admit it yet, because that would mean, I was being a danger to her all this while.

"I am sure it won't be like that?"

"You think so?" She looked up at me with anger. "I told you Ayisha already noticed."

"No."

"Yes," Jai said.

I looked down. I need to fix this. I need to make this okay somehow. Jai is not going to get her cover blown. Not because of me.

"You tell me what I need to do. I will do that." I said yielding.

"Get your eyes fixed." She said.

"What?" I asked looking at her.

"Don't look at me like that," He hissed.

"Like what?"

"Like you are in love with me."

"I am in love with you," I said. I don't know how to undo this love. How not feel it inside me. It's like it's flowing through my veins.

"You have to stop that then. Stop loving me." Jai said. This was not the right time to argue or ask her if she loves me too. I understood that my love for her is being a problem here in this situation. I realized I was a danger to her right now. And I can never ever be a danger to her.

I took Jai's hand in my hand. "Okay..." I said.

She looked into my eyes. "I understand," I repeated. "I have to stop. I get that. I will. Try my best. From this moment on, I will stop. I promise." I squeezed her hand. "So don't get your cover blown. Don't get caught by anyone. Don't get yourself in danger. Whatever you do, stay safe. Please..." I think my eyes were filled now. "Please...stay alive. Just stay alive. You have to stay alive."

And like that, we made our silent promise.

I kicked the sand in the ground in front of the girls' hostel, while I waited. My hands were dug deep into the pocket of my jacket. It was 6 am in morning. Ayisha came out, wrapping her sweater tightly around her with her arms. Even when she might have just woken up, she did look pretty. She came to me.

"What happened?" She asked, "Why did you want to meet me so early in the morning?"

I turned to her. What am I about to do changes everything. It was one big drastic move. But I had to do this.

"I need your help," I told her.

She looked confused. But nodded. "Tell me," she said.

"Be my girlfriend."

"Huh?" her eyes went wide.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked more clearly and politely.

Ayisha looked clearly surprised and speechless. I looked down.

"What happened?" Ayisha asked, "I thought there was another girl who was driving you nuts. Or is that a guy?"

I looked up at her. "It's not a girl, right?" She asked, more cautiously. "It's a guy. Jai."

"What?" I asked.

"You love him," Ayisha said.

"You think I am gay?" I asked. She thinks I am gay??? Wait...so she does not suspect that Jai is in fact a girl. Well, obviously... Everyone thinks Jai is a boy. So if anyone thinks I am in love with Jai, they obviously think I am in love with a guy. So I am gay.

"Veer, it's okay..." Ayisha said. "It..." She touched her neck in a really 'it's awkward to talk about this way'. "It's fine for a guy to like a guy, I think... It's legal."

I sighed. "No," I said. "I have to move away... Distance myself."

"So you think asking me out helps?" Ayisha said. "What am I? Your cover so that people do not find out you are gay."

"No." I snapped. First of all, I am not gay. "I just think, if I am with somebody else, I can stop feeling that way about Jai. I think you can help me."

"You think I can help you?" Ayisha asked me. "In stopping to have feelings for someone else."

"Yeah," I said. Being honest felt right. "You know, before this thing with Jai, I had the biggest crush on you. Really. I still like you a lot."

"So you are not gay, you are bi. Or pansexual?" She said.

"That's not the point. The point is... I think if we are together, I can get over Jai. I will eventually find happiness with you." I could not say I will eventually come to love you instead. Because I felt I could not love any other girl after Jai. But I wanted to do this. Be with someone else. Distance myself from Jai a bit. This was the best thing.

"Can you at least think about it?" I asked.

"What makes you so sure that you will get over Jai because of me?" She asked.

"Because it's you," I said. That's all I could say and that was my hope too. Ayisha was great. I found her smart and pretty and awesome. Being with her might help.

Ayisha stayed silent for a few seconds. She seemed to be thinking. I waited.

Finally, she said, "Fine."

"What?" I asked.

"Fine. I will be your girlfriend." She said, "I will help you or whatever to come back to your right sexuality. But you have to understand that you may eventually end up liking some other guy in the future maybe. Because if you can fall for a guy now, it basically means you are not straight and so even if you date a girl, in future the same situation might occur, and you will have to come out clean at some point."

She is totally messing this up.

"But for now, I can help you," Ayisha said. "Life is boring anyway. And I like you." She smiled.

I waited for Ayisha in front of the classroom that day. She came up to me with a smile. "Ready?" I asked her. She nodded.

The tradition is that if someone is dating officially, they have to come out and stay it to the whole class. Harsh and Pari had. Sahil and Vidya have as well. And some others too in the past.

So Ayisha and I walked to the front of the classroom as people looked up at us. I caught Ayisha's hand in my hand and held up. "We are dating," I said to the class. Better to get it over with. A cry of cheering erupted. Varun, Happy, Dhruv and Sahil were the ones who were cheering the most. They knew I had a crush on Ayisha since always. They bought this act so easily.

But it was Jai who got up and came to us first.

"Congrats, brother." His voice was genuine. Strong. Jai held up his fist out. I gave him a fist bump.

"Thanks, brother," I said.

And that was all it took. We were brothers again.