81. I'm not okay

Without saying another word to any of them I place the picture on the table, stand up and walk out of the office. I didn’t know how I was feeling but above everything was anxiousness.

I got out of the house and walked towards the beach, where I could hear Krystal and Jax playing.

Screaming in happiness and joy. No care in the world.

I wish I was like them right now, but my mind was clouded. My heart was heavy and I felt burned instead of relaxed.

A part of me wishes that I had never agreed to come on this trip. The day hadn’t even ended and already it was shitty.

“What are you going to do if he is your father?” Midnight pops up in my head.

There was no sign of Blue. I couldn’t feel her.

Ignoring her question, I ask, “Where is Blue?”

“She’s closed herself off after Lucas’ wolf reached out to her. She feels the connection to him but she’s still confused” she answers. “Now answer my question”

I sigh while taking out my phone.

“I don’t know, Midnight…I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there”

Thankfully she doesn’t say anything and backs off. I really didn’t know what I would do.

Twenty eight almost twenty nine years. That’s a lot of missing time. How would we even begin to bridge the gap if it turns out he’s my father? He was basically a stranger.

And what would I do with the feelings I’ve carried for so long? I’ve lived with hate in my heart for the people who were my parents. Feeling bitter and angry that they would leave a child and never look back. What was I going to do with all those feelings?

I look down at my phone and dial Claire’s number. She picks up immediately.

“Gosh I’ve already missed you…How’s Coastside?” she asks cheerily.

I didn't answer for a while. Not sure how I was even going to begin telling her the mess I walked into or how there was a possibility it also involved her.

“Is it possible for you to come down here in the next few days? Bring Brent and Mase if you can”

She must have heard something in my voice because the happiness in her voice evaporates.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” she asks nervously.

I didn’t want to add to her stress, her pregnancy was already difficult enough, but I also didn’t want to keep her in the dark. She was my sister in every shape and form. Blood or not.

“I may or may not have found our parents” I tell her, releasing the breath I was holding.

She shout almost damages my ear drums in the process. “What! For real?”

“Yeah” I whisper then proceed to tell her what I just found out.

Everything that I have learned and the fact that we may be the daughters of the alpha and beta respectively.

“Damn, that’s a lot to d******d” she murmurs, still in shock. “Are you sure they’re telling the truth?”

“Lucas and Valery are convinced that I’m Lucas’ daughter but just like you I’m skeptical so to put the matter to rest I agreed to have a DNA test. If the test comes out positive then there’s a possibility you’re Abby, John and Olivia’s daughter” I explain, already feeling the tell-tale signs of a migraine.

We are silent for a while. Each one of us lost in their own thoughts.

“I don’t know what to think because this means that everything we believed was a lie and that we weren’t unwanted, just kidnapped and separated from our parents” Claire says after a while.

“I know, but like I told Midnight we will cross that bridge when we get there. For now what's most important is to find out whether we are the long lost daughters or not”

I hear her sigh before hearing Mase calling her.

“Tomorrow is Wednesday and I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday. So the earliest I can book a flight is either after my appointment or Friday”

“That' fine" I nod my head even though she can't see me "You’ll just let me know when you’re arriving” I say looking out to the ocean.

“Okay then, I have to go but remember that no matter what happens, no matter what the results are, you’re my sister, we are family, blood or not”

“Yeah, we are. I love you Claire Bear” I mumble.

“I love you too Renny” she says before hanging up.

I go down to the beach. When Jax sees me he rushes towards me with Krystal following behind. I engulf them in a hug, needing to breathe in their scents.

“Are you two having fun?” I ask pecking their cheeks. They nod at me before rushing off again.

“You okay Luna?” Hunter asks worriedly.

“Yeah” I murmured then stared out into the ocean.

I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. My head was a mess.

Taking my shoes off, I sit down on the sand. With my knees drawn up and my hands wrapped around them.

Hunter must have sensed that I wanted to be alone because he turns and heads towards the kids after patting my hand in comfort.

“Red, you okay?” Sebastian's smooth voice pierces my head. It’s laced in concern.

Hearing his voice brings tears to my eyes. I was holding on but his voice makes me crack. Unable to hold together.

“No I’m not” I tell him brokenly.

It was too much. The information I now had. Everything was rattling around my mind and it was driving me crazy.

“Tell me what’s wrong” His voice is gentle and soothing.

I feel the flutter of a touch in my mind. Like he was caressing me through our bond. The one I was holding on to while wishing he was here so he could hold me in his strong arms and make everything better.

“I just found out that there’s a possibility Lilly may be my sister” I breathe out.

I was still having a hard time coming to terms with that possibility. It was hard.

“What the hell?” he asked, shocked.

I laugh at that though there wasn’t any humor in it. It was empty. I felt empty. Drained and tired.

“Yeah, her father thinks I’m his long lost daughter that was kidnapped when she was still a baby”

“Fuck, that’s just wow…from your statement you’ve said her father not her parents, is there a reason for that?” he asks.

I’m surprised he picked that up easily, but then again Sebastian is an intelligent man, he wouldn’t be the best Alpha and business mogul if he weren’t.

“Yeah, but it’s a long story”

“I have all the time in the world Red, talk to me” he commands gently.

I spend the next hour or so telling him everything. Talking about my concerns and fears. He listens to me and reassures me. Making me feel a bit better and less anxious.

I was so lost in my conversation with him, I didn’t feel Lilly until she was tapping my shoulders.

“The doctor is here, he’s ready to take your samples” she gives me a small and sad smile.

I realize that this isn’t just hard for me but also for her.

“I need to go, the doctor just arrived” I tell Bash.

“Okay, we’ll talk before you go to bed” he promises right before I shut off the link.

I call the children and we all follow Lilly to the house.

We get inside. The doctor sees me and stumbles back a bit as if he has been hit. He also looks like he has just seen a ghost. I guess he also knew Hailey.

“This is Doctor Micahel” Lucas introduces.

I shake his hand. “I’m Lauren and this is Hunter my personal guard and my two children, Jax and Krystal”

He nods his head, while I survey the room. Valery was standing next to Lucas who was looking at Krystal and Jax with tears in his eyes. Luke was seated, seemingly lost. Like he couldn’t believe that all this was real. That it was happening.

“Let’s just get this over and done with” I murmur The doctor ushers me to a chair and he prepares his stool. He takes a blood sample and then saliva before doing the same with Lucas.

“Mommy why is the doctor taking your blood?” Krystal asks in confusion.

“Nothing sweetheart, he just wants to check something in my blood to make sure I’m not sick” I answer her.

She nods but Jax gives me a strange look. Like he knows what’s really happening. I see it in his eyes.

There’s a story there. One that I’ll ask Sebastian about.

I pull my eyes from him when Luke speaks.

“When can we expect the results?” he asks.

“Two to five days but I will let your father know when it’s ready” Micahel answers.

He bids us goodbye before leaving. We are left staring at each other. Not sure how to bridge the obvious gap.

I wasn’t sure about Lucas being my father but one thing I was sure about was that it was going to be a long week.