Chapter 16

Nathaniel

These days, I have been thinking about the first time I ever saw Lucas . At first, I didn't care much about him . He didn't mean anything to me . He was like any other boy I met at every part, any other boy I have used and left behind .

He was my past then the following day after that night we had sex , I realised how impossible it was going to be for him to be my past, nevertheless I was willing to push him away . While I thought I was succeeding, he got pregnant . It's like every single time I try to push him out of my life, the universe keeps pushing him in . And the reason I kept pushing and pushing was because I knew that once I allowed myself to like him, things would turn out this way .

As I sit here, in my bedroom . Thinking about how Lucas acts around me.  He looks miserable, he has now started doing the pushing and this time, it's pretty obvious and he's aware .

I understand where he's coming from, I do . How can he give himself up to me? To someone who's unsure of him . He's not willing to put labels on anything . Yes, I admit that I want all the relationship benefits without having to be tied to him . It's easier that way . And that way, I will be able to run when it gets hard, when he starts falling out of love with me and starts realising how messed up I am . How I'm such an impossible person to love .

Josh walks in my bedroom ." Hey, you got plans later on?" It is already past 7PM. I just wanna sleep early .

" No, why?" I ask, going through my emails on my laptop. It seems like Lucas has used a huge amount of money to pay someone but I can't figure out who . I frown over the transaction .

He doesn't know that I can literally see whatever he does with his money . I decided to do this so I could see what he spends his money on, and if I need James to increase his monthly allowance or not.

" We are going to Tryon's party tonight . Everybody is gonna be there!" Josh takes a seat on top of my bed , trying to peek at my laptop's screen but I slam it shut before he could see anything .

" What do you mean everybody?" I turn to him . And for the first time, I notice that he's already dressed up for the party and he has on a new cologne . I don't comment on that, instead I raise my brows in anticipation.

" Everybody, Amari, her boyfriend , Wylder and his little brother and duh me!" I'm about to turn away when he says " And Lucas too, dang almost forgot about that" he facepalms .

" But he's like 5 months pregnant, going to 6 ." I state . What is Lucas trying to prove by doing this? He knows that he's on bed rest . He's not supposed to be going to crowded places .

" Well, Summer kinda coaxed him to come . It's kinda like a setup " Josh whispers like someone might hear him .

" A setup?" I scrunch up my nose . I don't like the sound of that . " What is she planning?"

" She's trying to hook him up with someone . And I honestly don't blame her, he's been down lately . Maybe this will help ."

" Does the guy know that Lucas is pregnant?" I glare at Josh . He just shrugs and jumps off my bed .

Perfect, just fucking perfect . Now I need to go there, God knows what the guy might do if he finds out about Lucas being pregnant . Some people don't like different . Different means weird . And that might result in Lucas being called 'A freak' for being pregnant while he's a guy. I don't want that for Lucas . I have been called all kinds of names throughout my life for being who I am . It hurts .

" Wait , I'm coming!" I gesture for him to give me a minute to freshen up . He just nods, takes a seat back on my bed and types away on his cellphone .

***

When Josh and I arrive at the party, we find that it's not that packed yet . It is still early, so anything can happen later on . Tyron is still setting up everything.

I walk around the house casually, looking for one person and one person only . It doesn't take me long to spot him sitting by the back porch beside some guy . They look like they are talking about something while watching the sky full of stars .

I lean against the French doors, nodding at any person who walks past me and greets me . I try not to think much about it when Lucas starts laughing at something the guy says to him . I mean, I'm just here to make sure that the baby is okay . Don't want it to get hurt or anything . Whatever he does, as long as it doesn't hurt the baby then I'm cool .

" Nathan!" Wylder yells my name across the room . Completely blowing my cover . The guy and Lucas start to turn around, but I quickly look towards Wylder . Pretending like I'm happy to see the asshole .

" What are you doing here? The party is in here!" Wylder tries to pull me away from where I'm standing but I don't move.

" Just stop!" I utter under my breath .I narrow my eyes at his oblivious face when he doesn't get the hint . " Wylder, just go away ." I whisper harshly.

" Oh why? What's up?" Wylder whispers back, catching my eyes . I nod over the two behind me . Wylder glances behind my back and goes 'oh' in realisation .

" Oh your pretty boy is talking to another guy? " He smirks, literally hollering the question so that Lucas and whoever he's with can hear him .

All I can do is wince, and cough a little.  Hoping that no one is paying much attention to us . I feel my face going warm , I try to hide it by running my hand over the nape of my neck but it doesn't help . To make matters worse , Wylder notices . To save myself from another embarrassing moment, I pull Wylder by the collar of his shirt . He mumbles some nonsense I can't make out, still he allows me to pull him away .

I pay no mind to the people already dancing around and drinking . I find it more interesting when a party is full on , which is going to be later and I'm not sticking around for that . I have to take Lucas home, now it's going to be hard since Wylder has blown my cover . I was planning on waiting for the guy to screw up so I could save Lucas from him, and everyone lives happily ever after but nope, Wylder had to ruin it all.

" What's your problem man?" I shoot Wylder a dead stare when we arrive in the kitchen . The kitchen is empty beside the two of us . Booze and pizza are already on the kitchen counter . Waiting to be drank and eaten I guess .

" What's my problem? Nothing, I was just trying to help you out . It's obvious that you like the boy but can't admit it to yourself ." Wylder throws his hands up , huffing when I'm quick to deny his claims.

" I don't like him like that . I'm just looking after him because he's carrying our baby ."

" I'm not dumb . I grew up with you, I fucking saw you fall in love once and that's how you looked, this way!" He points at my face with a smirk .

Now it's my turn to huff in annoyance" You are looking at the whole thing the wrong way, I don't care about him . Not like that . I'm forced to care because he's carrying my baby ." I explain, throwing my hands up in surrender when I realise that Wylder is not even listening . He's looking at something behind me.

I decide to follow his eyes to find the last person I imagined I would see standing by the kitchen door , dull brown eyes staring at me.  Right beside him, the guy looking between me and Lucas in confusion.

" I-" I look over Wylder for help but he just looks at me in shock like I'm the asshole in this situation.  It's his fault. He made me say those words. " How much did you hear?" I smile nervously at Lucas .

" Almost everything " Wylder whispers beside me . I glare at him . Unbelievable! The whole time Wylder was watching me make a fool of myself while Lucas was listening! .

" Lucas i-" I start to say but when my eyes snap back to the kitchen doorway . No one is there, for a second I wish I had dreamt it all but Wylder is quick to remind me that I'm a dickhead .

" You are such a horrible friend!" I mutter . Upset that he didn't even try to save my ass at the most vulnerable moment of my life .

" No , Nathan . You are the horrible person here.  That's no way to treat someone who's carrying your child and who loves you ."

" Just stop assuming shit Wylder . What would you do if I did something like this to you?" I jab his shoulder .

" Change, because I would know that my friend loves me enough to tell me when I'm doing something wrong ." He pats my shoulder when I just gape at him .

***