Chapter 13

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Joshua

After I left Lucas's apartment . I went straight home to prepare for my date tonight .

At first when I started getting to know the person, I was very anxious . Firstly, they are close to someone in my family and secondly, a real player . I have seen a lot of them growing up . So you can imagine how cautious around the person I have been until they finally asked me out .

" You look cheerful tonight ." My mother found me dancing around my bedroom with music blasting through the speakers .

" Yeah, going out with a friend!" I threw on my shirt " Do you think I should go casual or fancy?" I twirled . My mom just giggled .

" It depends if it's a date or not ." My mother smirked when I just gave her a half shrug . " You won't tell me what it is?"

" Nope, you would want to know more details and I don't really want to share that yet ." I swiftly threw on my red leather jacket on top of my white shirt, with black jeans and red sneakers .

" Okay" my mother wished me good luck and gave me some time to get ready .

The driver drove me to the restaurant I was meeting up with my date . I was a bit nervous . I looked at myself in the mirror, fixing my curly hair a little .

" Joshua!" A familiar male voice called out, making me jump a little .

I saluted the driver bye and found Wylder waiting by the entrance of the restaurant . He looked rather fancy in his dark blue shirt and black jeans, his hair gelled up a little . Which is a surprise, he hardly ever takes care of his hair like that .

" Hey!" I waved at Wylder nervously, a little self conscious because he looked good without trying .

" Ready to get this date started?" He held out his arm, I happily accepted and we walked arm in arm in the restaurant .

Well , I bet most people are wondering how the hell did I end up here? Lucas wasn't the only lucky person at that party that night . It happened that Wylder found his boyfriend cheating at the party . He was so furious and sad at the same time . I ended up finding him in his bathroom,, the bathroom connected to his bedroom . Him and I always talked whenever he came around with Nathan at the house but night we spoke like we just met for the first time . We were so deep and vulnerable about our past experiences . We ended up exchanging numbers and planning another meet date . And we did that, we spoke for a few months as friends until Wylder finally got the courage to ask me out, and here we are now .

At first I thought I was into girls, dated a bunch of them but none of them made me feel how Wylder makes me feel. Excited, so damn excited that even the thought of kissing him makes my heart flutter . Sometimes I find myself wondering how it will feel like to kiss him . Additionally, looking at how Nathan is such a player, I thought Wylder was like that too but I thought wrong . He's actually a cool guy who's looking out for Nathan because he has been through a lot while growing, and I agree with Wylder .

The restaurant wasnt too crowded but we definitely weren't the only two in there. A few faces I hardly recognised . That put my mind at ease a little. I wasn't ready to come out to anyone, that's why we chose this restaurant . No one we know hardly comes around here.

I look over Wylder who nervously rubbed his hands together . A waiter approached us and led us to a free table closest to the window facing the beautiful ocean . We both sat down and ordered water for a start .

" Is it me or is it hot in here?" I say, taking off my jacket . Trying to ease up the tension between us .

" Yeah, it is . Or are we both just too nervous?" Wyler simpers . And that was enough to make us continue the longest conversation of my life.

***

Later when I arrived home, I felt nothing but overjoyed. The night turned out way better than I imagined. At the beginning I thought it was going to be a disaster but as time went on, it became less and less awkward until we were comfortable enough to speak our minds out.

I skipped to my bedroom, stopping by Nathan's bedroom since he had the light on . I found him sitting by his balcony, shirtless . His room was a little messy and smelled of nothing but sex and alcohol .

" Seriously Nathan? A new guy every night? When will this stop?" I joined him by the balcony .

He just sighed and looked up at the sky full of stars " Where have you been anyways?" He asked completely disregarding my questions like he always does.

" Out with a friend ." I replied to him, keeping it cool so he couldn't read between the lines " How was the movie night with Lucas?"

" Not bad, it was actually nice" A small smile plastered on his face . " Could you please keep this between us?" He finally looked at me with a blank face .

" Keep what?" I questioned, confused .

" What I'm doing, you know, sleeping around . I don't want Lucas to know that -"

" You are a player?" I teased . Making him grimace a bit. " Sure, but I don't think he would care . He has enough on his plate. " I shrugged.

" Yeah, that's the point . You are already worried about me, I don't want him doing the same . This is ...all just a stage in my life I have to get over . This whole thing will stop ."

I nodded at him . But deep down I doubted that the stage will ever end . He has been like this since he discovered sex . It's crazy because to him, it looked like it meant nothing but pleasure. It was also sad seeing him like this but I knew I couldn't really save him from whatever he was battling inside . I tried but nothing came out of it. At this point, a miracle will do .

" Why do you do it? Have sex with literally anyone? I can't imagine sharing that part of myself with strangers." I asked him . I always wondered why he did all of that . At that moment, I was feeling brave enough to question him .

" Because sex is nice?" Nathan turned back to the sky . I could sense that there's more to that answer so I pushed and hoped that he didn't pull away .

" Is it because of what happened with your last boyfriend?" I cautiously stared at his face . His jaw clenched and he looked down at the railing .

Instantly, I knew it had to do with his last boyfriend who literally played him . That guy broke Nathan into a thousand pieces and left him to die . He used him for his own benefits . He was an asshole, that's for certain . They were high school sweethearts, secretly dating but when everyone found out. The guy turned against him . To top it all, he was cheating on Nathan with girls and guys too , he didn't even disclose that to poor Nathan . If he didn't find out early on, he could have contacted Nathan with sexually transmitted infections or something.

" I don't want to talk about him or anyone else . Just leave me alone ." He snapped . I held my hands in surrender and gladly left him alone . I knew he was in his head . And whenever he's in his head, there's no getting him back .

***