Chapter 12

Lucas

***A few months Later***

I'm almost 5 months pregnant and living in my new apartment.  Mrs. Kevens and James finally decided that since I'm not related to them, me out of the house will decrease all of their worries . I hate that I had to find out this way that I'm an unwanted child from sexual assault . Makes me wonder why my mother even kept me, to suffer like this? In an apartment , alone and going through the impossible.

James thought buying me stuff would somehow make me feel better . Make me less angry at him but it only makes me hate him even more . Every month, groceries are dropped at my door, with all the essentials I need. Money sent to my account to buy whatever I want . It's like a whole new world, I have everything money can buy but I still feel lonely .

Currently, I'm splayed on the couch, with the TV on in the background . I'm so tired even though I haven't done anything but walk around the house. I can't even sit for a second without feeling like my bladder is gonna explode . Whoever said this was fun, lied . Nothing fun about having a person inside you, chilling and doing nothing but make you feel uncomfortable in your own body .

The doctor has also advised me that the baby might start kicking any moment and I know that, once it does . I'm doomed for life . He even offered to tell me the gender of it but I refused . I'm not ready to acknowledge that whatever is inside me is very much human, even though every second I'm reminded that it is human .

" I guess it's just you and me !" I gently brush over my belly, which is a little bigger , like a basketball  and heavier for the second trimester pregnancy .

" Lucas! Lucas!" A familiar voice that makes me smile calls out while entering my apartment .

" In here!" I call out back, making myself comfortable on the couch and throwing on my warm fluffy blanket around my belly .

A few seconds later, Josh appears in the living room with a bright smile on his face . " What got you smiling like that?"

" Do you really wanna know?" He smirks, taking a seat beside me and already placing his hand over my belly under the blanket .

" Looking at how boring my life is, I really really wanna know ." I mumble. Humming softly when he starts gently brushing over it especially on the lower side of my abdomen, where I get a lot of painful stings every so often .

" I'm getting a new car because I passed all my midterm exams!" Joshua yells in joy .

My heart sinks at the thought of my midterm exams, the ones I was unable to write due to the stupid policies they have at school about Pregnancy . However I plaster on a genuine smile for Joshua's good news.

" Congratulations!" I pat his back " I could give you a hug but .." I point at the obstacle his hand is on .

" It's okay." He gives me a side hug " Are you feeling alright? Everyone has been asking about you, even Nathan! It was a shocker because he hardly cared at the beginning!"

" Oh I'm okay . " I completely ignore the statement about Nathan because talking about him reminds me of that night he kicked me out of his bedroom when I needed him the most .

" How's everyone though?"  I change the subject before Joshua could spot my low mood at the sound of Nathan's name.

" You know, we miss you but my parents still won't change their minds about it . Elizabeth has been asking about you lately, mom keeps lying to her, saying you are far away in school and won't come back until next year ."

" I guess they don't want me anywhere near her until I have given birth ." I mutter sadly, since I'm due around early January next year.

" Yeah" Josh sighs sadly" So tonight since it's like a movie night thing, I can't come but Nathan offered to keep you company?" Joshua glances over me with a hesitant smile .

" Nathan?" I ask, wondering why he suddenly wants to be part of my life . This movie night thing has always been between me and Josh . It has been our thing since I moved here .

" Yes, if you don't feel comfortable with it then I will understand . Just wanted to throw it out there ." Josh runs his hand over my belly while I pounder over the thought of being with Nathan in one room .

" Where are you going Anyways tonight?" I ask Josh out of curiosity instead of answering him . " Found a new friend to replace me?" I joke, making Josh snort a little .

" It's actually a date ." Josh shyly looks away when I raise my brows in surprise . " And don't ask about it . I don't wanna jinx it ."

" Okay, okay but is it someone I know?" I poke him gently when he refuses to meet my eyes . He's blushing like hell . He must like this person a lot.

" Maybe ." Then he whispers " And no, it's definitely not Amari if that's who you are thinking about ." He says like he's reading my mind .

" Can't wait to hear all about it then." I look over him with a warm smile on my face . I'm happy for him even though I don't even know who the mysterious person is.

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I ended up agreeing to Joshua's offer since I didn't really have anything planned out  , so later on Nathan arrives at my apartment with a few things for the movie . Like snacks and everything .

" I will be out in a minute!" I reply to him when I start to hear him calling around the apartment for me .

I'm in the bathroom, trying to dry myself after a long bath . Bathing for me feels like a real chore . It's the hardest and most enjoyable task everyday . I'm always glad when I'm done with it .

I pull on my white bathroom robe and walk in my bedroom that is connected to the bathroom . My legs feel a bit sore and I can't wait to sit down . Already missing Josh's feet massages .

" Hey" Nathan casually walks in my bedroom, with his hands shoved in his Jean pockets and a white shirt under a  black leather jacket, with only socks on. His hair is a little messy and he looks a bit different but I don't pay attention to that .

" Hi, I will be out in a minute ." I tell him, going through my closet for my sweats . Only things that fit me at this point.

" You look different . You weren't lying about the pregnancy thing huh?" Nathan watches my every move with nothing but curiosity in his eyes .

" Yeah . " I ultimately find the things I'm looking for . " I need to change, I need some privacy ." I point out when he just keeps gawping at me.

" I don't mind ." Nathan is quick to say . His eyes meeting mine briefly before falling to my bulging bump.

" Nathan, I do mind . " I breathe out heavily when Nathan just stands there with no sign of leaving.

" You were cool changing in front of me in the past , what changed?" He asks .

" My body, and obviously you . So? Will you get out?" I motion towards the door . He just shrugs then looks over my face.

" Are you still angry at me?" Nathan peers over my huge bump when I take a seat on my messy bed .

" You seriously want me to answer that? After what you did?" I raise my brows at him . He once again shrugs the proceeds to gape.

" You have to understand, the whole situation sounded so crazy to me . I wasn't ready to acknowledge the fact that this is possible ." He beckons over the visible stomach.

" Then what changed? Why are you even here Nathan? I was doing way better without you ." I lie . Of course, I was doing bad . I had everyone but him . The father of my child .

" I want to give this a try " His eyes bore into mine.  Showing nothing but sincerity.

" Nathan, it's either you are in or out.  You can't give this a try like it's some test drive . There's a baby involved, our baby . I understand if you don't love me but this baby doesn't deserve to be punished because of that ."

" I never said that ." Nathan mutters . I wait for him to continue but he just keeps quiet, looking through the window as the sun sets .

" Said what?" I ask, already frustrated by the whole conversation .

" That I don't love you ." He finally meet my eyes" I never said that ." Something in his eyes changes, however before I could spot what it is, he looks away as quickly as he looked at me.

He sighs, shifting under his weight. " I'm just scared.... I never thought I would have a baby at 21 Lucas . I don't even know what I want to do with my life yet . I have nothing in my name to offer that baby when it's born . Nothing ." He mumbles, looking anywhere but at me .

" That always crosses my mind too, especially being 16 and pregnant . It's hard, at first I didn't want this but now that the due date is coming up . I know that I'm not the richest person in the world but I know I have enough love for this baby, and that's all it will ever need . Not fancy stuff, just us . Our love ." After saying that, I found myself running my hand over my belly and suddenly, out of nowhere they kicked . It was a hard unexpected kick that left me breathless.

Nathan is fast to kneel beside me as I try not to jump out of joy . I'm in tears ." Are you okay there? You look rather pale?"

"The baby kicked for the first time ." I whisper, smiling over Nathan who looks at me with nothing but giddiness in his eyes too.

"May I?" His hand lingers over my stomach, waiting for me to give him permission . I happily nod for him to go ahead .

The minute his hand touches my belly, another hard kick follows and this one makes me giggle . Even though it is a little painful . Nathan laughs softly too .

" They approve of me .They want me to stay and I will, even if it means forever ." Nathan takes a seat beside me and his hand moves to the top of mine . " I don't know if I love you Lucas but I do know that being around you makes me a better person, happier and different .  I might not also be  perfect , I mess up but I'm willing to try being the best thing in your life, if you allow me ."

Tears start trickling down my cheeks.  I'm out of words . I can only lean against Nathan's shoulder and sniffle quitely as we both feel our baby kicking every so often, this is a moment I wouldn't trade for anything in my entire life .

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