42. Dates, memories and second chances

Falling in love, all over again, from the very first day feels just as splendid. - Alexandra.

~~~

42. Dates, memories and second chances

(Alexandra)

Of course, Alex had ripped the damn documents, but after being coaxed by Stella and Emma and Eliza who came as soon as they heard she was pregnant, Alex has agreed to give him a chance.

She wanted to. She really wanted to. She didn't want her stubbornness to stand in the way of true happiness, if she had a 0.001 probability of reaching that.

She applied lip gloss and looked herself in the mirror, her eyes wrinkles in scrutiny.

Maybe, just maybe, as Stella had pointed out with some pretty strong words added in for extra effects, he wasn't doing it only for the baby.

Oh, yes, she hoped with all her heart that he had feelings for her as he proclaimed and when she wasn't hoping, she was having very naughty dreams about him. Eyes opened and closed.

It was like this pregnancy hormones was making her horny all the damn time and seeing Logan in that sexy shirt didn't help her any when she opened the door for him.

But soon she was speechless when she saw the woman standing next to him.

"You... " Alex said as she looked at Logan with bewildered confusion and he shrugged a shoulder as if it wasn't so out of the ordinary. But it was.

Here he was... With, with Barbara.

"Can I come in?"

"Logan?" Alex said and he gave her a small smile.

"We talked. It is kinda a long story, but she will tell you the short version." He said and Alex nodded.

"Oh, come in." Alex said, feeling guilty all the while. It felt like she was cheating on Beth or something, which was really weird, but what the heck. She was getting weirder and weirder the moment she said yes to Logan and his insane proposal. So...

"Thank you, Alexandra." Barbara said as she walked in. "This is for you." She handed a bag to him and Alex accepted it with hesitation. She didn't want to offend or be rude, but all the while, she kept thinking strange thoughts.

"Coffee, tea, anything?"

"Oh, don't bother. As per Logan's request, I have to tell you this and then scatter." Barbara smiled and Alex saw the look she threw at Logan when Logan wasn't looking. One of yearning. Like she wanted to be in his life, really, really in his life. Alex's heart melted.

Now she understood what being a mother meant, and no matter how Barbara messed up, she deserved a second chance.

Logan did too. You know!

That voice, that stupid voice was back.

Welcome back, Alex thought with a sarcastic frown.

"Nonsense." Alex said as she opened the box Barbara had bought and sighed. "You bought me macaroons?! God, you, you are a mind reader. I have been having this urge to eat them for a day now." Alex said as she inhaled the fresh scent.

"Why didn't you call me?" Logan asked. "I could have bought that for you. For now on, if you ever feel like eating anything, just call."

"What if I want to eat a plate of brownie at three in the morning?" She asked with a smirk and he gave her a look, a look that could break every one of the walls she had built around her heart, against him.

The walls were crumbling already and she couldn't help it.

This was Logan.

And she had not stopped loving him. She couldn't. She was just afraid of showing him how much she still loved.

So...

And you are stupid. It is sad you are doing the same thing he had done. The pesky voice so intelligently pointed out.

I know, but still...

"Ok. Now that we are out of macaroons, I want to start this story. Is that okay?"

"What is this mysterious story you keep talking about?" Alex asked as she sat straight and looked at Barbara.

Barbara gave her a small smile.

"So... The other day I ran into Logan and we talked. You know, about how much of a bitch I was and how I made it impossible for him to open his heart-"

"Uh. It is-"

"Wait. Let me finish this, Alexandra." Barbara said and Alex shut up. She really had by known what to say to that, nothing at all.

"So the short version is, we talked a lot and at the end of it, this guy, this amazing thick-headed guy admitted to me that he had been a fool not to realize how much he loved you and he told me he had been a stupid."

Alex's heart stopped. When did this happen?

"Wh-i mean, when?"

"Way before he confessed to you. In fact, I think he confessed his love for you to me first, I think." Barbara chuckled. "If you really think about it, it is kind of ironic, isn't it?"

Alex did not know what to do or say. Logan kept looking at her and she couldn't look at him.

"And he kept saying how he was worried he might hurt you by loving you, but the silly boy didn't even realize he was hurting you more by not loving you. I am the one to blame for it all, Alexandra-"

"Nope. Not only you."

"I know. Not only her. I was an idiot, Alex, but I wasn't lying. I didn't say it because you are having our baby. I didn't- I mean, I really want to go back and tell that I love you first before you tell me that you are pregnant."

"I think my job here is done. But- Alexandra, I don't know you or much about you, but I think you are an amazing woman just by talking with Logan. So listen him out. And yes, there is no guarantee on love, but then, you know- it is better to use all your chances and choices before giving up."

"I tried- I really-"

"I know baby, and I was a fool to call you manipulative. Fool. I was angry with myself for being so envious of you and Chad and when I heard it was all a plot, how did you think I felt? I felt so damn happy."

"But why-"

"Because I am just that stupid, Lex. Can't you see? It is so wrong to say and I don't want to say it, I don't, but I wish you weren't pregnant right now. I love the baby as much as I love you, but if it comes right down to it-"

"No, don't say it. I know how much you love this baby and I am not cruel enough to make you say it."

He gave her a grateful look. "I do, I do love the baby, because it is ours, Lex. Our love. It is the gift of our love. The precious recollection of all our happy memories and good days."

"I-"

"Please, Alex, I can't play any games, not any more. Games and stupid stunts aside, I really really need you to give me a chance. Let me prove that I really love you."

"Well, Stella said the same. So did Eliza and Emma. Oh, and Daniel. And Beth. Dave didn't say anything, except how you were kinda stupid like him and how he almost lost Beth because he was stupid, as well."

"So?" His eyes twinkles with nervousness and eagerness at the same time as he stared into her eyes.

"I mean, if I say No after all that, I don't know. It might just make me as stupid as you."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

***

It was the day of their first date. Their second first date.

Alex looked at the clock and looked at her best friend with a twitchy stomach.

"Don't tell me he is late for our first date!" She sighed and Stella shook her head.

"Yeah, it is not like this is your first date. You are having a kid together."

"For all the intent and purposes, this is our first date. You know, we are starting over. Clean slate. Shit like that."

"Yeah, yeah, but your slate is already scribbled in one whole side with this baby, so-" Stella stopped when the bell rang and Alex bit her lips. "Don't tell me you are nervous!"

"Ok, I won't tell you."

"Haha, smartass." Stella laughed dryly as she opened the door. "Oh God, too much Cologne. I see that you are trying too hard." Stella rolled her eyes as she moved away and Logan walked in.

He really did look nervous as he handed something in a brown Manila envelope to her. Alex shrunk her nose as she stared at it.

"What? Is this another one of your contracts?"

"Open it."

She opened it and her eyes widened as she looked up at him.

"Logan-"

"Ssh, please, don't say anything. You wanna go?"

"Yes."

As Alex sat down, she pulled out the menu Logan had given her in the Manila envelope.

It was the menu of this place they first met and somehow it was more than diamonds and roses combined.

Just looking at that menu made her feel like that this wasn't all hopeless.

"A plate of chicken nuggets, a club sandwich with a side of curly fries, a slice of pumpkin pie, and a cup of extra strong coffee. And Martha, thank you." Logan said and Alex gave him a wide smile.

"You remembered all that." She said as she placed her hand over his.

"I don't know. I can't forget anything when it comes to you." He said as he squeezed her and her heart twisted.

Martha had a sweet smile, which was so unlike hers when she spread the table with food. Their food.

"She looks kinda creepy." Alex said as she looked at the bulky woman who had called her a thief that day when she first met Logan.

"Don't worry, she will bring the right receipt this time, won't you?"

"I am not worrying about that. I can pay my eight bucks, knight in the shining shoes. You know, that was what I thought of you when you first stepped in and defended my honor." Alex said as she bit on the chicken nuggets.

"I like the sound of it."

"And then-"

"You called me a psycho. I remember." Logan chuckled as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Can you blame me?" She asked as she took a slice of pumpkin pie and wrinkled her nose. "Nope. This kid inside doesn't like that. Ugh!"

"I thought you were beautiful and spunky." He said as they paid and walked out.

"Here. Sit here."

"Why?"

"Just sit." He said and she did as he asked. He stood there for a minute before looking down at her with a mischievous smile that made him look so much younger. She could see the hints of the Logan she had very much loved at that moment.

"You look like you need some money and food." He said with a thoughtful look and Alex shook her head with a smile and then bit her lips as she looked up with mock anger.

"You look like you need a slap?" She rolled her eyes at him and he smiled.

"I have loads of it."

"What? Slaps?"

"I have a business proposal."

"Umm? Okay. Go on."

"And it has many finer points, but the main point is... Will you marry me?"

Alexandra chuckled.

"You are one hell of a piece, Logan, one hell of a piece."

She stood up and he smiled at her.

"You are, too."

***

He drove her to the hotel when the date was done. He said goodbye at the entrance and she had wanted to lean in and kiss him, but she didn't.

Stella opened the door as Alex knocked, looking bouncy and sugar high. When Alex sat down, Stella kept standing, looking jittery.

"What the hell did you eat?"

"I was bored. And I had a box of donuts. So..."

Stella looked at Alex, her eyes wide and creepy and Alex shrugged. Stella kept staring and staring, looking creepier with each passing minute.

"What?" Alex hissed, finally giving up.

"Details."

"It is good." Alex said and Stella gave her a penetrating look. "Ok, it is amazing." Alex sighed dreamily.

"You are looking a bit dizzy." Stella said as she jumped on the bed.

"I mean, he is- he is so handsome and he didn't kiss me goodnight. I wanted to kiss him."

"Alex, girl, you are so whipped. Again."

"No, I am not."

"You are fooling no one, freind, no one." Stella giggled as she made weird kissing noises that made Alex's lips pull up in utter happiness.

***

(Logan)

He lied in his bed awake, just as he lied awake the first day he bought her to his house and made it home. He wanted to. But, this time around, he wanted to do things the way every one else was doing.

That meant no Alex at his home. That still, also, meant staying awake, fantasizing about her like a teenager on heat or something.

I miss her already.

He thought as he thought about three days ago when he was handing her the contract for his sexual service. It was really funny, the look on her face when he teased her.

Oh, he knew she would never say yes to that and he also knew it would make her mad. He just loved- maybe, sometimes loved too much to make her mad.

No, not for real. Like the time she fought and stopped talking. Not that level of anger.

But the kind of mad when she started saying things and calling him all kind of names. That, that was his favorite thing to do.

Just after he came back, he got a call from a laughing Stella.

"Man, you knew how to push all her right buttons." She had said and Logan had been proud.

"That I do." He had said.

"Not a compliment, dumbass."

He smiled to himself as he turned in the bed and pulled his phone.

Are you awake? He typed a text message and deleted it, feeling so dumb and stupid.

He wasn't in high school, for God's sake.

He wished the next day would come already, so that he could see her and if she agreed, brought her out to some of their favorite places.

He had all these planned out, and he hoped it would go without any hitch, but then, if he knew anything about plans and God and fates, he was sure there would be some hitch. Because my fate hate me.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

The morning came too soon. It felt like he just closed his eyes and here it was, another day.

Even when his eyes burned from less sleep, he was in a chipper mood as he took a shower. Alex had a Doctor's appointment today and he was going in and then he had to go to work.

He had an important project going on, with a software guy. Gregory Thorne wanted him to build a new office building. The man was a genius, but his ideas about houses and architecture, they made Logan shiver. Logan would almost check regularly to see that the man hadn't made anyone build a gaudy gazebo in the middle of the office building or something. His plans and ideas were that notorious.

"You ready?" He said as Alex opened the door of the hotel room. She was still living in the hotel room, but if what Michael told was true, she would be getting back her home, soon.

Yes, the case. Against Stacy's father and Alexandra's dad's old partners were almost a home run. There were some legal formalities and yes, some more hearings, but Alex was going to come out of it, a Victor and there was no doubt about it.

"Oh yes." She said as she pulled on a jacket. She looked beautiful, even if she looked slightly harried.

"So... Can I see the baby?"

"Wait-" She said and cursed something before she ran to the bathroom.

He knocked at the door and she cursed again. "No, don't come. In." Alex said as Stella made a face at him.

"It is not a baby, right now, you know. It is just a beans." Stella said as she walked in with a big mug of coffee. "Coffee?" She waved at him and didn't even wait for his response as she took a large sip. "If I wasn't married already, I would marry the guy who discovered this."

"If he wasn't already dead..." Logan grunted and Stella shrugged. "So, where is this poor guy I keep hearing about ? Adam something?" Logan asked as he stared at her. He still hadn't seen the guy who was brave enough to marry Stella. He was really curious to see that guy.

"Adam something is doing something somewhere." Stella said. "It is getting harder to keep track. But I will ask him when he calls me tonight."

"Yes, don't forget." Logan said.

"Heya, you feeling well, babe?"

"Oh, yeah, I am feeling very refreshed after I did my yoga inside the bathroom, my face over the toilet bowl."

"Oooo.... Kaay. Not a great morning, I see." Stella said.

"You want something to eat?" Logan asked as Alex wore her jacket again.

"Yeah? Why don't you order me a twelve course meal and then eat it all and do your own yoga inside the bathroom?"

"Hah." Stella smiled. "It looks like one of those days. Enjoy." Stella whispered as they walked away.

"Oh... Okay. Bye."

"Yeah, bye, dumbass."

"Stop calling me that." He said as he opened the door for Alex and Stella snorted.

"Gentleman."

Logan smiled as he closed the door behind him. Of course, Alex's best friend was something else, but she was slowly growing up on him, and he was sure he was slowly, very slowly growing up on her, as well, even though she would never admit to it.

"Hey." He said as he looked at Alex. She was leaning against the seat and her eyes were closed.

"Sorry I snapped."

"It is alright. I just wish I can do something. "

"Well, you can't. So... " She shrugged as he drove to the hospital.

After talking to the doctor, Logan watched as the doctor picked up sonogram machine and started moving it around over Alex's belly and he could see their baby wriggling inside Alex.

It was barely bigger than a tiny fist or something, but still... His heart clenched as he watched with wonder and amazement.

"That is the heartbeat." The doctor said. "And everything looks fine."

He grabbed Alexandra's hand in his and she looked up at him with a smile that was unlike anything. She looked radiant. Glowing.

And... If he wasn't already in love with this amazing woman, he would have fallen for her right then and there. Again. And again.

"I love you."

"Uh-"

It was his fault that she wasn't saying it back, but he yad promised himself that he wouldn't stop just because she wasn't saying it back.

Not too long ago, when he refused to acknowledge her feelings or his for that matter, it hadn't stopped her from saying him how much she had loved him, anyways.

"I love you. And our kid and at this moment, I am the happiest man alive."

~~~

I am backkk.