41. Love, loving lies and appointment orders

I learn something new about you every time. And it is beautiful. How you can still be new and exciting even after you become my old, safe place. - Logan.

~~~

41. Love, loving lies and appointment orders

(Alexandra)

Alexandra and Stella looked at each other in the deafening silence that was followed by the loud bang after Logan had closed the door with force and walked away. It was tensed, so tensed Alex could feel it in the tightening of her chest.

Stella shook her head with a pensive look on her face and Alex knew she was going to get lectured. Dammit.

Stella didn't lecture, not often. Stella was all about chill pills, but... This didn't feel like chill pill kinda time.

It is all your fault, hormones.

Yeah yeah, keep telling that. But we all know, that it is YOUR fault. The voice retorted and yes, it was her fault.

With Logan, she was nothing but a walking, talking disaster and he brought the worse in her and the best.

Self-restraint was not an option when it came to Logan and yes, she had tried to chalk it off with absurd ideas, but, the reality was that she still... She still needed him. Wanted him.

And then there were hormones, as well.

"Is he gone?" Stella asked as she sat down with a frown on her lips.

"Yeah, I think so. You scared him away with all your talk of slumber party and nail polish colors." Alexandra said as she lied down with a tired sigh. She felt already beaten. All the euphoria of being with Logan had evaporated to leave an empty feeling lingering around her. This morbid cloud of darkness hanged over her head and she couldn't help but feel tired all over. "What was that?"

"I didn't know how to make him leave." Stella shrugged.

"Looked like it worked." Alex said as she stared at the ceiling above her with a hollowed heart.

She felt like the black cloud over her head was constantly growing in size, shadowing her with its miserable existence and she knew it bad, but she couldn't do nothing about it.

"And what did you do here? I left you for an hour and I come back to this-this mess. Do you know what you are doing to yourself, Alex?" Stella said with a scowl. "Do you? You have always been the sensible one."

She was. She was the one who always took sensible, rational decisions. But where the hell was her rational side when she most needed it?

"But..." Alex whispered as she looked at Stella. "Okay, okay, I know. It was so wrong." She said as she curled in the bed with a heavy blanket over her. "I don't know, but I wanted. Even knowing it was wrong. I am insane. This is all crazy and I don't want to be crazy. I am not reckless. I have never been and..."

"And still..." Stella shook her head. "You know this is recklessly stupid. I am not judging you, babe, but I am- I am concerned. You are never reckless. I mean, you were not. But then you married a man you barely knew, fell in love with him, got your heart broken for the very first time and it was all too much and now you are-"

"I know, I know. I don't understand myself. I don't know what came over me." She said before she frowned. "And he said... I love you."

"He did?" Stella jumped up from her chair, a hand pressed against her mouth. "Then that changes everything."

"Does it?" Alex asked with doubt in her voice.

"So why aren't you with him right now? And why are you in this bed with that morose look on your face?"

"I don't believe him. It is because of the baby, you know. He did not love me a day ago. And now suddenly-"

"It is you, stupid. It is not the baby." Stella shrugged. "I told you before. You are very loveable and maybe Logan is not the dumb fool I believed him to be."

"No, no, don't fall for-"

"Alexandra, you need to stop being so stubborn. You love him and he loves you and what else do you want? This here is the answer for the problems."

"I wanted him to love me before the baby. I wanted to be his first choice. I wanted- I wanted so many things and I got none of them." She moaned as she closed her eyes. "I don't want him to want me for any other reason other than wanting me. Is that- is that pitiful?"

"It is not. But woman, are you listening to yourself?!" Stella games at her with a look that would have made Alex laughed, if it hadn't been the situation.

"I know. I feel sick and twisted. Like... Who in their right mind would be jealous of their own baby?"

"Apparently you. So what is our next plan?"

"I don't know anything."

"Maybe you should give him a chance, Alex. He loves you, and I know you can feel it deep inside, even when-"

"I thought so, too, you know. That was why I went against all my instinct and stayed. Stayed. Pretended. Manipulated. Fought for him, Us. And look where it ended."

"Maybe it has not ended?!"

"I don't know anything anymore, Stella. Let us live one day at a time. I am too tired of living for the future."

"Okay, baby. You go to sleep. We have another Doctor's appointment in the morning."

"Yeah. Doctor Mitra said she would be taking the scans and all. I want to see how this tiny little thing inside me looks like."

"Like a pea? Button? Beans?"

"Oh, come on. That is all you can come up with?"

"I don't know-how just..."

Alex yawned. "I really need to go to sleep. Now. Good night." She pulled a pillow to her side and closed her eyes with a sigh.

Today was like a rollercoaster ride, with so many warped emotions and she just wanted to put this day to an end.

She just wanted to have one night of peaceful sleep, without overthinking anything.

As she fell asleep, she could hear Stella's voice in the background, saying something that sounded like, 'you need to step up. And be a-'

Alex fell asleep.

~~~

(Logan)

Logan sat in front of his family, a small frown on his lips. His mom was staring at him like he had two heads and four horns.

"What the hell did you do and why didn't I know about it?" Beth turned to look at Eliza and Emma and they both gulped.

It would have been funny if he wasn't also doing the same.

"I- mom, that is-"

"And then after putting her through all this, you said you love her after she told you about the baby?"

"I can't wait to see the baby-" His dad started and stopped when his mom gave him a glare. "I am shutting up, now."

"I don't know what is the big deal is. Everyone is saying how I shouldn't have told her that after she told me about the baby. Why not? Actually I went there to meet her in the first place to confess. So?" Logan grunted with a tired scowl.

It had been only a day, but he was already frustrated that he couldn't be with Alex and the baby.

He wanted to see the first picture of his baby, but Stella had warned him not to try anything funny. So he was staying put, for now and getting reprimanded for all this.

"The big deal here is... Now she is thinking you are lying to her."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because of the baby, you moron." Eliza shook her head.

"Oh my God. Why didn't I think of that?" Logan groaned with disbelief. He couldn't believe himself, believe how much of a moron he had been.

But then... He really went there to tell her about his feelings and he didn't know about the baby then.

Was this fate and its stupid plans again?

Of course, he loved his Fate, when it was all so accommodating. After all, it was the only reason he had met Alex.

Without Stacy's rejection, without his need to prove himself and protect his reputation, without Alex's father's partners and their schemes, without Alex's desperation, they wouldn't have come across each other.

So...

"Because you are dumb when it comes to matter of the heart. Your head is not always right." Emma scowled.

"Ok, if this is over, this marathon of who can call Logan more bad names, can I go?"

"Where?"

"I am meeting Barbara." He said without thinking and his dad gasped.

"Barbara?"

Beth jerked back and her eyes widened. She looked at Dave and then back at Logan.

"You two know..." She whispered to Emma and Eliza and they nodded.

"Emma met her and then-"

Beth nodded. "It is fine. She is your mother."

She looked vulnerable and suddenly Logan felt like she had aged. Her eyes were blank as she gave him a vacuous smile.

"Mom-"

"Please. Don't worry. I am not insecure enough to forbid you all from seeing your mom. That is-"

"You are our mom." Eliza said in a forceful voice. "You are."

"Can I talk to you alone, mom?" Logan stood up.

"It is alright, Logan. I mean-"

"Oh, come on, mom." He grabbed her hand gently and pulled her up from the couch.

"So... You met my sister? And you didn't tell me." Beth said as Logan followed her inside the kitchen.

"It is not like I wanted to hide it purposefully, but-"

"I understand."

"No, mom. You understand nothing. I might be a moron most of the times, but I know that look in your eyes and I am not going to be the reason you feel sad."

"I am not sad. I am just- why didn't you tell me, Logan?"

"Because I didn't want to talk about her. And she- I mean, I hated her."

"Oh baby, you only hated her because you loved her."

"I don't- I didn't tell you because I don't want you to feel-"

"I won't feel threatened, Logan, even if she is back in your life. Our life. I know Dave loves me and Eliza and Emma do, as well. I also know you love me. So... I just want to tell you that you don't have to think about my feelings and you can talk to me about it. You don't have to feel torn by your loyalty to me, and your love for your mother. It is-"

"I didn't talk to you about it, because I felt it wasn't that important to talk, mom. Not because I am torn. And my love for you is much bigger than my loyalty." He said. "And I might not always be vocal about that, but you should know that no matter what, or who, you will always be my mom. I won't forget you gave up everything for us. Even having your own kids. You know mom, when I heard Alex is pregnant, I felt like the tallest man in the universe. I felt big and my heart, my heart is immediately two sizes too large to love the baby. So I know, I know how it would have been for you to sacrifice all that for us-"

"What are you talking about Logan, what sacrifice? I didn't sacrifice anything. I have three babies and so what if I didn't carry you in my womb? I carried you in my heart, from the very first moment you all were born." She wiped her eyes. And Logan smiled. "So don't say stupid things to me, young man."

"I know. I am sorry." He wrapped his arms around his mom and she sniffled.

"But to be honest, I am slightly jealous that-"

"Oh, oh, mom." He said with a smile. "You don't have to be."

"And I want to meet her."

"Oh, she would probably love that." Logan said. "And she is changed. A lot. And she is also married."

"That director?"

"No. This one is a nice man, it seems."

"Good for her."

"Yes. Yes. And good for us." He said as he pulled back. "So, we good?"

"Of course, you big oaf. Now what are you going to do to bring my daughter back home?"

"Whatever I have to."

"Do you have something big up in your sleeves?"

"Umm, I don't know. But she loves me and that hasn't changed. I love her. It might take some time, but we will be alright."

~~~

(Alexandra)

Alex stared at the picture of her baby with a smile. As Stella had said, it looked like a weird shaped beans. She chuckled gently as she put the picture down.

She was three months pregnant and she didn't know how she missed missing two periods.

Maybe because she was such an emotional wreck before.

"It is all because of your daddy, baby. I am sorry I missed you for three months." She cooked as she rubbed her belly. "Oh, yeah. It is all his fault. He is such a- okay, I don't want to talk bad things about your daddy to you. I am not going to be that kind of mommy, but still. You dad is one heck of an original piece." She said with a frown and stood up when she heard the bell ring.

"Oh think of the devil and he shall appear." She scowled as she looked at Logan.

"Hello to you too, dear wife."

"I am not your damn wife."

What the hell was he doing here?

"I have something for you." He said as he stepped inside.

"What? I don't want anything from you."

"Not even my sex service?" He asked with a smirk, looking like the devil he was.

She was startled by what he said and he took her momentary distraction to push himself inside her room.

"And..." He opened his suit case with a smile. "Here."

"What is that?"

"My appointment order."

"Are you for real?" She said as she grabbed the bunch of papers from his hand with a scowl. "Unbelievable." She stared at him with frown.

This guy was beyond anything she had ever seen. It was kinda true that her experience with men was very limited, but even then, she knew... He was one hell of a kind.

1: Party A and Party B will engage in sexual activities as long as Party A deem suitable. Party B has no claims whatsoever to null the contract without Party A's consent.

2: party A and B are forbidden to engage in any other extra-curricular affairs in the period they were together. NEVER.

"I can't believe-"

"You are the one who wanted me. So... Take me." He said as he pointed to himself. And she wanted to take him.

But this document was ridiculous. Omg. Is he for real?

Logan and his strange affinity to legal contracts!

The man was befuddling.

"Party B should pay party A for all and any of the sexual favors in the way Party A deem suitable." Alex read aloud with a bewildered look on her eyes.

Ok. She was the one who started this game, but he was going too far with this and she didn't know what to do with him.

Don't you? The devil in her asked tauntingly.

Don't go there. The angel warned.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

If she was sane and if her head is intact, she would drag him outside and slam the door in his face. But... Her head hadn't been intact for so long.

"So you are the party A." She muttered with a frown. "Looks like you are having all the say in this weird contract. What do I get?"

"Me." He said smugly.

"What if I said no."

"Oh, you can."

"You look very smug, like-like you know something I don't." She looked up at him and there was that glint in his eyes that made her pause.

What the hell was he up to?

"Do I?" His voice was so self-assured, so satisfied. So was that smirk lifting upwards.

Gah.

"So, in your contract, point 3. What kind of payment?"

"Say... Like dinner dates, lunch dates, doctor dates." He shrugged.

"Oh, you have planned it very carefully." She said sarcastically as she threw the paper down with a frown. "You think you are so smart, Logan?"

"I know I am so smart."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't. But-"

"If this is your twisted way to win me over, let me tell you that it is not working, Logan. I am very sorry."

"Sweetheart, who said I want to win you over?"

She blinked, confused.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She felt like someone had just pushed her head inside the water.

"What is this game?"

"Honestly. No game. You asked. I provided."

"Oh, so I have to believe that you don't have any ulterior motives? That you are very altruistic?"

"No. Don't believe that." He said with a smirk. "So? You wanna sign that?" He asked before stepping closer to her.

His eyes were dark as he looked up at her. Stormy. Thundering with passion.

She gulped.

Her body gravitated towards him on its own accord. She looked up at him and he bent down.

His lips grazed against hers. She gasped.

He bit her bottom lip gently.

She opened her mouth and was shocked to found out he wasn't kissing her any more.

"Wha-"

"That is just a sample, madam." He winked. "If you want the full package, you have to sign the contract." He smirked.

"You arrogant, smug-"

"Here, here. Don't teach my baby all those bad words about her daddy."

Alex shook her head. "What if it is a his?"

"Anything is fine." He chuckled gently. "I can't wait to see her. Or him."

Alex smiled reflexively. That look in his eyes, it made her heart warm and gooey.

The one of genuine pleasure. Eagerness. Gentleness. Warmth.

She knew he was truly excited for the arrival of this little being.

You are very lucky, baby. To have a dad like him. She thought as she walked to the room and took the picture.

"Here."

"Is this?"

"Your butter bean." She said with a smile.

His eyes were wide with wonder and love. So much love that it stole Alex's breath.

"Oh my god. She is beautiful."

"Or he."

"Or he." Logan said with a bright smile. "But I hope it is a she. I want to teach her to walk. I want to braid her hair. I want to bring her to school. I want to teach her her first dance. I want to sacre off boys who dare look her in her direction." He said with a dreamy smile on his eyes and she nodded.

"You will be an amazing father. I know." She said with a fond smile.

He looked surprised when she said that.

"What?"

"Nothing. Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Can I have this picture?" He asked as he looked down at it again.

"Sure."

"I- Lex, thanks."

"Please Logan, don't call me that." She said with a wince.

It ached. It literally ached, when he called her Lex, like that. Like.... With so much tenderness and -and Love.

Love.

He was looking at her right now, in the exact same way he had looked at the picture of their butter bean.

And she couldn't breathe.

"I love you, Alex. And I know. I hurt you a lot, by being an asshole. But I am not giving up. I will do whatever I can to make you believe in me."

"Logan-"

He smirked. His face changed mischievous as he pointed the documents.

"Take your time, but if you decide to go with it, call me?" He winked at her.

"Really?" She shook her head. "I just don't know what to say."

"Yes?" He smiled.

"Get out, Logan Adrian Forte. Before I drown you in my bathtub."

"Will you be there, naked?" He said with a delicious grin.

"I won't be. Now, get out."

"Ok, ok. But be warned, the offer stands only for two days. If you are gonna decide, decide before that."

"Never."

"Never say never, Alexandra. Don't you know that!!!"

She threw the pillow at him with a groan and it smacked straight on his face.

"Ok baby."

His laughter lingered as he walked away and she pressed her hands to her hot face as she slumped down.

___

I have created a f.a.c.e.b.o.o.k group for my books.

Fathy Light's Bookish Angels.

Hope to see you all there. Don't be a stranger. Come and say Hello!!!

Tell me you are from Wattpad.. ☺️☺️🎉

~~~