Chapter Seventeen

Sunday 13 September 1998

Draco

I've barely left the dorm in two weeks, only for about four hours a day for classes, and even then I kept my head down and didn't speak. The couple of times that I found myself alone in the corridors, some idiot seventh years always found me. The first time they broke my arm, the second I'm pretty sure I fractured a rib, but I've become good at the episkey charm since the dark lord lived in my house, and managed fixed it before Blaise found out. Merlin knows what he would do.

And you're constantly... sad, I don't know.

Sad, scared, angry, excited, sad, sad, sad. Want my mate, Dray.

But it's okay. I'm okay. I don't need my mate. I don't need anyone, apart from maybe Blaise. Everything is okay.

"Draco, I'm bringing Potter up to the dorm to see you."

Everything is not okay.

"What?"

"I think it would be good for you. You need to understand that if not everyone, dominants want to help you. You need to find your mate, Draco."

Yes!

"No!" No, no, no, no. I can't see Potter. I can't, I can't do it. I won't. "Please, no."

"Draco." It's his dominant voice. And I don't know what to do because I can't say no, I can't, he'll hate me. But I can't see Potter, because he'll hurt me and I can't be hurt anymore.

"Please." I think I'm crying.

"Draco." His voice is sad now. "I won't let anything bad happen to you, you know that. He won't hurt you. Just please see him, talk to him. You'll see that not everyone hates you, that doms want to help you."

"Please."

"Draco, I want you to see him."

"Okay." Because I can't say no.

—-

I haven't seen Potter since my trial, over four months ago now and before either of us got our inheritances. But I can tell, even before he enters the room, that he's different.

He's dominant, I knew that; I could've guessed even if I didn't. But he's really dominant. He makes Blaise look like a kitten. I can tell just from their scents; Potter's overwhelms Blaise and Neville's almost entirely, and it's overpowering. As soon as I smell it I'm on my knees, head bowed, waiting, without a thought. A low whine echos throughout the room and I realise I made it.

You are a mess. You're squealing so loud it's giving me a headache, just at his faint scent. He's not even close enough to hear yet, probably not even in the common room, and you're quivering in the back of my mind, whimpering. What's wrong with you?

You don't respond. Are you okay? The only recognition I get is your excited giggle. Okay...

When they get closer, I can actually distinguish Potter's scent. I recognise it distinctly from somewhere, but I don't know where. It smells strong, powerful, a bit musky. There's something piney there, salty, ashy. He smells good. And a bit like wet dog, but what else can you expect from a werewolf? And then there's the scent of dominance, layered over everything like fog. It's stronger than I've smelt on anyone, and the closer it gets the more submissive I feel, until they're practically outside the door and I'm shaking, eyes squeezed shut, whimpering softly, but for some inexplicable reason I'm praying for him to just open the door and hold me and tell me how good I am.

"You okay?" Blaise asks, not to me, to someone else, but I don't know why.

"Don't patronise me." It's Potter's voice, but it's so not. This Potter's, werewolf Potter's, voice is deep and sultry. Rough and commanding, but also calming.

"Sure, sorry. We'll be here."

And the door opens.

I hear Potter's intake of breath as he takes me in. I don't look up though, I can't look at him.

"Draco." My name comes out as an exhale, and I don't think he's ever called me by my first name before. The way my name sounds on his tongue makes me shiver.

He takes a step towards me, and I flinch reflexively. He could hurt me so easily if he wanted to. In the blink of an eye he could have my on my back and bleeding.

"You don't need to be scared of me, Draco. I won't ever hurt you." Bullshit. He's in a perfect position to, and why shouldn't he? I haven't given him any reason not to.

He probably sees the doubt on my face because he says, "I know we don't get along, and we've both done stupid stuff. But I forgive you, Draco. I don't hold any grudges against you, and I certainly don't want to hurt you for anything you did. It wasn't your fault."

I don't speak. He's lying, I know he is. What I did isn't something that can just be forgiven like that. He's most likely trying to gain my trust and abuse it.

No, no, Draco, no. Look at him, look at him!

He takes another step towards me, and I flinch reflexively again, so much I almost fall over. All I want is to scramble behind my bed and hide, but I can't, I can't.

"It's okay, Draco." No, no, no. It's most certainly not okay. "I won't hurt you, I won't." The tone in his voice is forceful, the words almost a growl. He's angry, Merlin, I made him angry.

"Are you okay?" I don't reply. "Talk to me, Draco."

"I- I..." the word flies out of my mouth, trying desperately to obey his order, but not knowing what to say.

"Are you scared of me?"

"Yes." My voice is small.

"Why?"

"B-because, because you're a dom, and you h-hate m-me, and..."

"I don't hate you."

He doesn't! He doesn't! Look at him, Draco!

"Why?"

"I've told you, I forgive you. Draco, look at me. Look at me and tell me I'm lying." No, no, I can't look a dom in the eyes, I can't, no. "Draco, please, I'm asking you to look at me." But I have to.

I raise my head, slowly, to meet his eyes. They're so green. I didn't even know green could be that vivid. And something just clicks. No. No, no, no, no, no! It can't be, it can't, no, not now I can't deal with rejection now, no, no, no, please...

"Mate. Draco, you're my mate, my sub." His voice is quiet. He's angry, I know, he doesn't want me, he's going to reject me. No, no, please, I can't.

"Draco..." he starts walking towards me, and I don't want him to physically hurt me as well, so I jump to my feet and back away until my back hits the window. The window! I can leave now, and he can't reject me! So I open the window and spread my wings.

"Wait, Draco, please stop..."

I jump.

1164 words.