Chapter 18

"Nova"

I hear this weird echoing voice in my dream.

"Nova"

I groan in my sleep, turning to face the opposite way.

"Nova, wake up please."

My eyes snap open.

It's not a dream? I look at the person who has their hand on my shoulder and it's the scariest thing ever.

A white man.

"Good morning love." Ethan smiles at me. "I made breakfast, but first- scoot over." He says, pulling the covers up and slipping into the bed next to me.

He wraps his arms around my body, pulling me to his chest and I watch as he closes his eyes, the biggest smile on his face.

So hes just going to come up in here, not even let me know, and sleep?

"What are you doing here?" I ask tiredly.

"I'm laying in bed with my girlfriend. What are you doing?" He asks, eyes opening.

I blink at him, not amused.

"You seem so happy. I've been here alone for 5 days. You seem like it's not affecting you at all." I rub my eyes, sighing.

"I'm sorry. But I brought gifts?"

I scoff, turning around so my back faces him.

"Are you seriously trying to buy me out? I don't care about that kind of thing." I say, burying my face into the pillow.

I hear Ethan sigh before climbing out of the bed. I'm thinking that he's going to leave, but the blankets soon get ripped off of me.

Before I can even protest, he's dragging me out of bed and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Hey! Put me down." I whine.

He smacks my ass, beginning to walk down the stairs.

"You're an ass,you know that?" I groan, feeling my cheeks heat up. "You can't just touch me how you please."

Ethan just hums, walking into the kitchen. He sets me down on the counter, leaning forward and placing his hands on either side of me.

"How do you look so pretty even when you just wake up?" He asks, tilting his head.

I stare at him for a moment before I poke his cheek, making sure he's real.

"Why are you here? Won't your mom find out?" I ask, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"Don't worry about that kind of thing. I don't want you stressing. It's not good for the baby, you know?"

"Neither is manhandling me and throwing me over your shoulder, I'm sure." I roll my eyes.

"But I made sure your waist was pressed on my shoulder. Not your stomach." He grins. "I can't be here long. I'm supposed to be picking some decor up for the wedding but I wanted to stop here. I don't think my mom will find out. But if I'm gone too long she'll get crazy, so let's eat quickly."

He helps me off the counter, pulling me to the dining table where two plates sit.

We sit across from each other and I watch with a small smile as he begins to eat.

"So, uh, I was thinking..." I start, putting my hands in my lap. Ethan looks up at me, giving me his full attention. "I don't think going to the wedding is the best thing...um. You're white. Your family is white. The girl you're marrying but not marrying is white- so her family will be too. Don't you think it'll be...dangerous? If me and my friends go? Cameron is the only white one in our friend group besides you. I don't want to put my friends in that situation."

The moment I said I didn't think I should go to the wedding, I could tell he was itching to say something. But he didn't cut me off, he listened to what I said and then immediately spoke up.

"Don't worry about that. I already have something planned. And plus- I don't think my mother would mind if she seen you. She'd probably be happy thinking you're watching me get married to someone else." He rolls his eyes. "But nothing will happen to you guys. I promise. I really need you to come."

I gulp, a bit nervous.

"I'm scared." I admit.

"Not everyone in my family is racist." He purses his lips.

My eyes cast down, hoping I didn't offend him. I start to feel a bit bad, but I stand by my words. His mom is racist- she literally sent him to a therapist to try to convince him to hate black people.

How can I not worry being thrown into a room full of people who probably think the same way?

"Babe," Ethan stands up, walking around the table until he reaches me. He pulls out my chair a bit then turns it so I'm now facing him.

A small sigh leaves his lips as he cups my face. He bends down and places a kiss on my forehead before slowly lowering himself until he's kneeling on the floor.

He grabs my hands, wedging himself between my legs and looks up at me with sincere eyes.

"I would never put you in a position where there's a possibility you'd be hurt. Especially since you're pregnant. I have a plan, and I've been collecting everything I need without my mother knowing. I don't want to tell you everything...but just don't panic when Kaitlyn walks down the aisle. Alright? That day is our day. Nobody else's. I promise things are going to be okay." He kisses my hands, sending a smile my way.

He really looks like he has no worries at all. He seems so confident about this- opposed to other times where he'd be panicking at the idea of having me anywhere near his mom.

I want to trust him. I don't know why he can't just call the wedding off and then come see me or something. Why do I have to be there?

"I...trust you." I say quietly and he pops back up.

"Great." He smiles, walking back to his seat.

"So, how should I do my hair? Or makeup? I seen the dress you want me to wear, it's really pretty!" I start, finally letting myself just be happy to spend time with him.

"I thought the color would look really nice against your skin tone." He smiles. "And just get ready as if you're going to your own wedding."

I raise my eyebrows at this, picking up my fork and laughing.

"Yeah, tell me that and I'ma end up outshining little miss Kaitlyn." I snort, but his eyes brighten.

"Please, do. Go all out. Oh! I'll call someone to do your makeup professionally. Do you want your hair done too? I like your natural hair. But if you want it done I can make it happen." He already starts pulling out his phone, humming.

"I can do it myself." I say quickly but he waves me off.

"Nonsense. You just relax." He sucks his teeth. I'm about to open my mouth to protest again but he looks at me and narrows his eyes. "End. Of. Discussion."

My eyes widen slightly at his words and I press my lips together.

Holy shit. Why do I think that was kind of hot?

"You should eat." He says, picking up his fork and continuing to fill his stomach.

Silently, I grab a spoon and shovel some eggs onto it.

The food is long cold by now, but it's fine. I take a bite, chewing a little bit before I smack my hand over my mouth.

"What? Is it bad? Are you okay?" Ethan looks at me worriedly.

I put the spoon down, my body shaking as I try my best not to laugh or choke on the food in my mouth.

Yeah. I was right.

"Ethan, baby-" I start once I swallow. A small chuckle escapes my mouth and I reach over the table to grab his hands. "Do you know what salt is? Or pepper?"

He sucks his teeth, snatching his hands away.

"Fuck off." He says in a playful way, making me burst out into laughter. "I didn't season it on purpose! Isn't salt bad for pregnant women? I know how to season food! Mine tastes fine."

He huffs out a breath, crossing his arms.

Grinning, I stand up, leaning over the table to pickifood off of his plate before tasting it. It's true, his eggs have actual flavor. I think he even mixed hot sauce in them.

"I don't think salt does anything, does it?" I ask, sitting back down.

"I don't know, but I wanted to be safe. You can have mine instead then." He pushes his plate towards me.

"No, it's fine. I'll eat your unseasoned food." I tease him, making him laugh. "Because it's special. You made it just for me."

~

"Are you sure this is fine? Maybe you should hurry and go." I mumble, though my arms tighten around him.

"Yeah...I should go. I was here for too long." He sighs, but makes no effort to move.

We're standing on the porch, arms wrapped around one another. My head is laying on his chest, his resting on top of my head.

We were supposed to be saying goodbye but once we hugged neither one of us wanted to let go.

"I don't want to leave you." He whispers.

"I don't want you to leave either. Can't you sneak here more often?" I sigh, knowing the answer is no.

"In a few days we can see each other as much as we want." He pulls away, holding me at arms length so he can see me. "You will move in with me here, right? I think now is perfect since we're on winter break, and you can still get a refund for next semesters housing. I know I just left you here, but I didn't want you at the dorms in case my mother tried to get to you. I won't force you to stay."

I bite my lip, sighing and resting my head on his chest again.

"I do want to. But I just feel like we're moving so fast...I know it feels like we've known each other for forever, but in reality we've barely just met. It's only been months- and you already bought a house. Not to mention the fact that your mom wants to marry you off. We're 18. We're still practically children. We were both in high school not even a year ago."

"Are you having doubts about us?" Ethan asks quietly.

I look up at him, shaking my head quickly.

"No, of course not. I love you- I'm just pointing things out." I say. "It's just weird. And scary how much I'm willing to do for you."

"If I proposed to you right now, what would you say?" He asks, slowly swaying me in his arms.

"Why are you suddenly asking that?" I chuckle softly.

"You said it's scary how much you'd do for me. I want to see just how much that is." His gaze meets mine, no sense of joking in his tone or eyes.

I stay quiet for a moment, a little confused at where this suddenly came from. Is he planning to propose?

Ah, no. I think he would have done it by now.

"Don't look at me like that." I say quietly. I think the more I made him wait for answer, the more worried he was getting. "You know I'd say yes."

"No. I don't know." He tucks some of my hair behind my ear.

He sounds tired now.

Is everything that's been going on with his mom finally weighing down on him? This entire time he's had such an upbeat attitude, and I've never really seen him depressed.

Maybe he's been hiding it from me. Guilt rushes through my body and I hold Ethan tightly. I should have been asking if he's okay more. Every time I was able to see him I should have paid more attention to him. I should have made sure he was really okay.

He's going through so much and I'm blind to it because I don't see it. I have no idea what goes on when he leaves.

"You promise everything will be over?" I ask, burying my face in his chest. Tears start spilling from my eyes, and my shoulders unwillingly shake.

I don't want to cry. I hate crying. This, I can blame on being pregnant. It's making me emotional.

"I just want you to be okay. I don't want you to be hurt anymore. I'm so sorry for-"

"Stop apologizing. I don't want to hear that from you." Ethan cuts me off, his voice firm. "I don't care. I would go through this all again just so I can be with you. I really don't give a shit about the fact that we haven't known each other long either. How the hell do you move too fast? There's no proper way to have a relationship. If I fall in love and want to get married within a month of meeting that person- I'll do it. Maybe it's not a smart idea, but as long as I'm sure about it I'll do it. And I'm so sure about you. So stop blaming yourself, and stop saying such silly things."

Ethan let's go of me, taking a step back and crossing his arms. He sounds frustrated now as he lets out a long breath.

A small laugh escapes my lips, surprising him. I sniffle as I wipe at my eyes, nodding.

"I see." I look at him. "I like this side of you."

He just stares at me though, face blank and showing no sign of emotion.

"I'm...really sure about you." He says quietly, then looks away. "If I said to hop into my car just like how you're dressed now, and told you that there was a wedding waiting for us- and all we had to do was show up- what would you do? How would you react?"

My eyebrows furrow, but I assume he wants me to honestly think about my answer.

I play with my fingers in front of me, thinking. This sounds like something he'd actually do, so I have to think of something I'd actually say to that.

"I'd be totally mad at you. Like- insanely upset." I say, and his gaze snap back to me. His eyes widen a bit, but he quickly masks it with a blank face.

"Then I guess you aren't as serio-"

"Because how are you going to let me get married like this? I'm in pajamas. Completely unacceptable, I refuse to have you look better than me at our wedding." I cross my arms, sticking my nose into the air.

"Th-That's it? You'd go through with marrying me?" He asks, his mood lifting.

I shake my head, walking to him again.

"No, that's not it. I'd probably cry and freak out because we're only 18. But...yeah. I think I'd go through with it." I give him a soft smile. "If it means that you won't get hurt anymore, and that you'll be happy...I'll do anything."

Ethan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, the biggest grin coming over his face.

He rushes forward, cupping my cheeks and kissing me. I stumble slightly, but he pulls me to his chest to steady me.

I think I'm probably an idiot. But, I'm really sure about him too.

I wonder when he'll propose. What season will our wedding be in? Thinking about all these things brings both fear and excitement to me.

He pulls away, and almost immediately I hear his name being called. It's some girl.

Both of us turn, and Ethan's eyes brighten when his eyes lock on the girl. Or rather, the woman.

"Ethan, baby, you here again?"

He grabs my hand, pulling me across the street to the older Black lady who's standing in her yard, smiling.

"Hi Mrs. Johnson. How are you today?" He asks.

"I'm doing just fine. Now who is this beauty you've got with ya today? She can't be the miss Nova you've been talking about." The woman turns to me, beaming.

"Yup, this is my girlfriend." He says happily.

"Whew, let me tell you." She shakes her head as she looks at me. "When we seen that real estate agent pull up in here with a white boy, the next day all the neighbors got together talking bout how he out of his damn mind." She laughs loudly, and it's so contagious I find myself laughing too.

"I went up to 'em and asked why he'd pick this neighborhood out of all em, because, you know. This an upperclass neighborhood but they hardly any whites in here. What he said made me almost fall for him myself! This little boy showed me a picture of you and said he thinks you'd be happy here, more comfortable too."

"YOU ALMOST WHAT? SAY THAT AGAIN EBONY." I hear a man's voice from inside the house.

Almost a second later an older man comes standing in the doorway.

"If ye want one of those little white boys then gon ahead and get you one. But you ain't bringing him in my house." He huffs out a breath, crossing his arms.

"Get your grumpy ass inside old man!" She calls back, then turns to us and mutters. "Always in my business. Can't take no joke."

"There's not a lot of white people here?" I ask, still hung up on that comment.

"Did I not tell you?" Ethan turns me to face him, eyebrows furrowed. "This is the most diverse neighborhood I could find that I liked. I thought that you'd rather live here than somewhere else."

"Them white folks are the minority in this neighborhood."

I stare at Ethan, heart feeling like it's being squeezed and I lean into his side.

Yeah, I'm going to marry this one.

~

"This is goodbye for real. I've stayed here way too long, but I'm happy I got to see you." Ethan smiles.

We stayed and talked to the neighbor for around half an hour before Ethan's mom called him. He made up some excuse as to why it's taking so long to come back, so now he really has to leave.

"I'm happy too. Stay safe, okay?" I ask and he nods.

"Of course. You too. I love you." He leans down to pecks my lips.

"I love you too." I smile.

I step away from his car as he opens the door.

"Oh, by the way." He says as he slips in. "I'm holding you to that whole marrying me ordeal."