51. Back to the Mansion

I thought a lot. I took two whole days to decide what I should do next; whether should I go after him and apologize or just leave the things the way they were right now.

Honestly, I was scared and too ashamed to face him after ruthlessly pushing him out of my life. I knew his whereabouts, his office, his home address, but still, could not muster audacity to apologize to him.

I was afraid of his anger, his rejection that he would not forgive me and tell me that he wanted to stick to his decision. However I tried calling him, but his phone was switched off and that thing demotivated me.

Zoya kept on pestering me with her questions like; where's daddy, when are you going to take me to him and why he's not taking my calls. I was just tired of making excuses to her and I guessed she was now smelling a rat.

"Are you sure with your decision?" Carol whispered a question in my ear.

I gave her a side glance, nodding my head, "Yes. I'll leave after the wedding."

She was about to say something, but when we heard the doors of the Church opened, she stood up and looked behind. I did the same. All the guests in the Church, who were impatiently waiting for the bride, turned around and faced the opened doors. And finally, Tessa, the bride of the day made her appearance.

With the enchanting smile upon her face, she began walking down the aisle, holding her father's arm and the bouquet of white tulips. Her long dress was trailing behind her. She waved her hand at us and I and Carol waved back.

I looked down and saw that Zoya was pulling my dress unconsciously while struggling to look up at the bride, but failing because of her small height. I chuckled and upraised her in my arms so that she can also enjoy the wedding.

I'm sorry. I'll keep saying this to you. I'll repeat those words every day and will show you how sorry I am to put you in anguish.

Ashar's words played in my head. It was not the first time. I had been hearing his voice since past two days. My mind was only occupied by his thoughts and recalling his words over and over again. His sweet memories and words compelled me to go after him and try my best. Even though, I was scared, but still I had to try or else I would regret for the rest of my life for letting him go over a mere misunderstanding.

I had resigned from my job, gave up on my rental apartment and packed my stuff. I was thinking to shift to New York. I delayed my plan only for Ryan's wedding. After that, I would leave.

You asked me to be a good father and I wanted to listen to you.

I squeezed my eyes shut and jerked my head in order to stop that voice.

"I hope you'll find your happiness." Carol pinched Zoya's cheek and smiled.

Tessa was now with Ryan and the ceremony was about to start. Officiant began reciting the verses from the Bible and all the guests settled down on their seats. There were around hundred guests gathered in the Church. Ryan somehow convinced his almost wife to shorten the guests' list. Tessa agreed and the list was shortened from two hundred to hundred guests.

I sat back on my seat and put Zoya beside me. Ryan looked handsome, but nervous at the same time. He was hesitantly stealing glimpses of Tessa who couldn't wipe off the smile from her face.

I just said I love you. Give me a chance to show you my heart. Let me show you that I regret what I did to you.

I fisted my palms as Ashar's words crossed my mind one more time. I was trying to stay calm, but it was not helping after recollecting the memories of him. My heart ached every time I pictured his face. The restlessness inside me was increasing.

I felt nostalgic as the ceremony went on. It made me miss him more. Even after so many years, it was not helping. Ryan's wedding was reminding me of my own wedding when I was wearing someone else's gown, standing in front of someone else's groom, lying at the Church. I recalled how it hitched my breath when I saw Ashar was my groom and how he was unaware about his own bride.

Fate had a cruel plan for me. It had a cruel way to make me meet with the love of my life. I wished I would've met Ashar in a different situation then we wouldn't have to go through such a difficult time. I wished to meet him as some normal guy at my high school or college or maybe on a random street, going on a date, falling in love, then getting married and have Zoya as our first child.

I understand your anger for me, but I'll do everything to erase that anger of yours.

I sighed, feeling frustrated. That's it. I couldn't wait anymore. I didn't want to delay my plan any further.

"Carol." I poked her.

"Hm." She hummed without looking at me. Her face was straight, watching the ceremony.

"I'm going. I don't think I can stay till the end of the event." I whispered in her ear, grabbing Zoya's hand.

"Why? Stay for an hour at least." She suggested, facing me.

I shook my head, "No. I don't think I can wait more. You apologize to Ryan from my side."

I looked in front for the last time. Ryan and Tessa were proclaiming their wedding vows right now. I just realized I was really not into weddings after experiencing a disastrous wedding of my own. Maybe, I would get better if Ashar and I sort out our differences and to my good luck, have a happy married life. I would get over of those creepy feelings after that. Besides, I was in hurry right now.

I stood up. Zoya looked up at me curiously, "Get up, baby. We're going."

She nodded and listened to me.

"Sanaya..." Carol called out my name in a whisper. She looked slightly worried with my sudden decision.

I put my hand on top of hers, "I'll call you later."

Afterwards, I picked up Zoya in my arms and sprinted out of the Church.

💙

After five hours long flight, I landed to my home city. Zoya was bored and haggard due to the long journey, but she was not complaining because she knew we were going to see her father.

I didn't know whether my decision was right or not of coming here and leaving everything behind. I started a new life in another state, but I left it with a thought that I ran away from here because I wanted to stay away from Ashar and his family, but now I didn't have to. Even if I and Ashar won't work out, still I didn't have to leave this place. I wanted to live in New York.

Through my contacts, I had already managed to find a place for myself and Zoya so I had decided to first go there, put our baggage there and change our clothes into comfortable ones and then I'll go to his house; Hobsons' Mansion.

I jumped inside the subway with Zoya and got settled on the vacant chair. My heartbeat was unsteady and my mind was full of frightening and pessimistic thoughts. I didn't know how I would  take his rejection.

I snaked my arms around Zoya's shoulder. She scooted closer and put her head on my chest, "Sleep for a while, Sweetheart. You look tired."

She looked up at me with sleepy eyes, "Mommy, when I will meet Daddy?"

I gave her an assuring smile, "Soon. Very soon."

She nestled to me and closed her eyes, "Okay, Mommy."

Once I was certain Zoya was asleep, I took out my phone from my bag and called Ashar one more time. His phone was still switched off. I sighed in defeat and rested my head against the seat.

💙

Finally, I reached to that place where I was kept as a captive, where I was treated as a criminal; Hobsons Mansion. Since its nightfall, the area around me was dark, but the mansion was illuminated from far away due to the decorative, colorful lights. I guessed there was some celebration going on inside.

"Mommy, its grandpa's house." Zoya pointed towards the house and started jumping in happiness.

"Yes." I laughed, "It is." We both changed our clothes into more relaxing ones. Since I had not much time, I changed into slim fit blue jeans and white loose, button-up shirt while leaving my hair loose on my back. Zoya was wearing simple, light colored frock.

But now after knowing that there was some party going on inside the mansion making me think that we both should've wore something better. I was hesitant to go inside. There would be so many people inside including Ashar's parents.

No way. The thought of encountering with Ashar's family gave me chills and I froze on my spot. They surely wouldn't be very pleased to see me.

"Mommy, let's go." Zoya walked forward while pulling my hand with hers.

"Wait, Zoya." She didn't listen to me and continued towing me forward in the direction of the house.

The backyard door of the mansion was opened. The sound of music got louder as I began taking hesitant steps inside. The place began replaying the old memories in my head; how I used to spend my days and night here when they locked me up inside the house.

It was a swimming pool lounge where the celebration was happening. I looked around and observed that despite few things, the interior of the place was still the same. With the heavy heart, I moved forward and stood in the middle of the guests. Zoya had also lost some of her excitement after seeing so many strange faces.

I started dancing my gaze in every direction, in every nook and cranny to find any trace of Ashar. I didn't find him, but I observed weird stares on me. Uneasiness crept into me as I looked down on my clothes. All of the people around me were in posh attire and I was in simple, worn out pair of jeans and top with plain pumps.

I noticed that I was standing out among the crowd due to my casual outfits, that's why I was catching attention of the people. I shook my head to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts and reminded myself why I was here. I tightened my hold on Zoya's hand and walked further.

"Is it really you, Sanaya?" Katherine Hobsons out of nowhere appeared in front of me.

I winced. Her surprised eyes scrutinized me from top to bottom and then they stopped at Zoya.

"Grandmaaa." Zoya yelled, left my hand and ran to her.

"My darling." Katherine took her in her arms and kissed both of her cheeks, "I missed you so much."

Zoya looked cozy and happy in her arms, giving me a thought that she was close to her grandparents. The woman, whose fashion sense once I admired a lot, now looked old to me. The wrinkles on her face were increased and she also had put on few pounds. Still, she was perfectly dressed in an evening gown, light make-up on her face and delicate necklace around her neck. The dark circles under her eyes expressed that she had lived a hectic and hard life. Indeed, she would be in lot of pain due to her husband' illness.

I stood still, rubbing my forehead in nervousness, didn't expect to see her first. I again search around the lounge through my eyes to find Ashar, but all I could see happy, smiling, strange faces.

"It's good to see you, Sanaya. When did you come back?" Katherine's voice brought back my gaze on her.

"Just today." I shrugged, "What this celebration for?"

"Oh, you won't believe that Ashar managed to sign another big contract with the English company. And you know-"

"Mom." The woman, who was I guessed Estella, Ashar's elder brother's wife interjected her.

She looked different. I couldn't recognize her at first glance. Her eyes turned in my direction, "Wait, Sanaya? Are you really here?"

"Yeah." I passed a weak smile to her and stupidly scratched the back of my head.

She moved her gaze and noticed Zoya who was in Katherine's arms, "God, Zoya is back too."

She came forward in my direction and embraced me into a bear hug, "I'm so happy. How are you? Why did you take so long to come back?"

Her latter question momentarily puzzled me up. She pulled back and looked at me, "I'm good. You tell how are you doing?"

Why was I feeling that they both were happy to see me?

"I'm doing well." She answered. My eyes fell on to her outgrown tummy and that sight made me flabbergasted.

"Hey, you." I pointed my finger at her tummy, "Is that...?"

I looked up and noticed the shade of pink appeared on her cheeks. Katherine laughed at my reaction, "Yes. She's pregnant."

My mouth fell opened before stretching into a full smile, "Wow, congratulations, Estella."

Now I understood why she was looking different. She had chubby cheeks, double chin and she was wearing a loose maternal dress. Her appearance reminded me of my pregnancy period. I looked like her.

"Thank you. I'm happy, Sanaya." She gave me a coy smile.

"Her pregnancy is another reason of this party." Katherine said.

I was happy to hear that. I was happy for her. She was trying for a baby for years and now finally she got her reward.

"I'm glad to see you back." Estella commented.

"Yes." Katherine agreed, "Ashar was distraught without you. I was so sad when Ashar came back all alone. He assured us that he would bring you back this time."

What?

I gave her a disbelieving look. She chuckled, "Don't tell me you didn't know?"

I quirked a brow at her. Instead of her Estella spoke this time, "After years of waiting, when Ashar finally got some time to let Zoya see her mother, he told her that he would bring you back with him. When he returned alone, we all were so worried. Mom kept on asking him what's wrong and he just said he didn't want to talk about it."

I froze. That means his whole family knew about Ashar's love for me?

"Tell me, Sanaya." Katherine quizzed, "Are you both still failed to sort out the differences?"

"Uh." I felt lost, "Wh-ere is he?"

"He should be around." She moved her eyes here and there, "Look for him."

Estella said, "We'll talk later." She lightly touched my shoulder.

Katherine put Zoya down on the floor and stood upright again, "I'm taking Zoya with me."

I nodded my head distractedly and started searching for Ashar. I was a bit relaxed now after knowing that he was okay and he was here. Everyone in his family knew about his feelings, except me. That means, all those years when I lived a life with a thought that I had no connection with Hobsons, or Ashar, Ashar lived differently. He lived as my husband and a father to my daughter. He remained committed to me, to our marriage.

The strong remorse smothered me. I was feeling guilty of being so oblivious about him, his heart, for being surrounded by my own suspicions. After looking around the entire swimming pool lounge, I ambled inside the house and checked every floor. Once I was sure that he was nowhere, I moved towards the floor where his room was located.

I began ascending the stairs when I saw Matt Hobsons was coming down from the opposite direction. His gaze stopped at me. Amusement flickered on his face as he stepped down some more stairs to reach to me.

"Am I dreaming or you're really here?" One corner of his lips stretched into a small, crooked smile as he studied my face.

I touched the tendril of my loose hair in nervousness and bowed my head a little in front of him to greet him, "Ho-w are you?"

"I'm doing better. I'm glad to see you after so many years, Sanaya."

Matt had lost a lot of weight. He looked old, knackered and weak. The grace he used to carry with himself in the past was no more there, it was replaced by the plainness and meekness. I recalled how he used to dictate me back then, making me feel slightly tensed.

"Um.." I didn't know what to say to him.

He laughed, probably noticed my nervousness, "Are you here to see my son?"

The corners of his eyes were now wrinkled and most of his hair turned grey. The disease had severely affected him. I felt sorrow for him.

"Yes." I mumbled in a very low voice.

His smile widened, "It's good that you're on time. If you would've further delayed, you would've missed him."

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows.

"Ashar is leaving in about," He bent his arm in front of him, checking the time from his wrist watch, "four hours for his business trip to Australia."

"What? For how long?"

"He didn't specify that. He said that he wants distraction so he would live there for some time. What did you do? Did you say no to him?" He asked with quizzical face.

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked away from him.

"You shouldn't have done that." I heard him sigh, "I understand it's not easy to forgive someone. Sometimes it's difficult to choose between what is right and what you want."

"I, I didn't get you." I glanced back at him in confusion.

A small smile played on his lips, "At first you thought he didn't deserve a second chance or it would be unfair to forgive him, but in his absence you realized that your love for him is so strong that you want to screw off all other thoughts. That's why, you're here to give him another chance."

My heart felt the warmth of his words and I found myself on the verge of weeping.

"As your elder, I assure you that you're making a right choice. Your decision is not wrong. Go and tell him why you are here before you miss him. First check him in his room or search around the neighborhood because half an hour ago he told me he was going outside for some fresh air." He patted my shoulder twice before descending the remaining stairs.

Without wasting any more minute, I hurried to the opposite way towards Ashar's room. My heart was beating ferociously against my chest wall in fear because I was scared of losing him once again. He was going away.

I knocked on his door for once, but got no response. Restlessly, I pushed opened his bedroom's door and looked around. The familiar scent of him surrounded me. His room was still the same, nothing much had changed here. Same purplish curtains, furniture. On his bed, there was a small suitcase and some of his clothes were scattered around it. He had packed his stuff that means he had made up his mind to leave.

He was not in his room either. A strong rush of anxiety weakened my legs. Just where in the world he was hiding?

💙

I ran and ran around the neighborhood. My feet were tired and my breaths were heavy. I was still running and looking around to find any trace of him. His family said Ashar was nearby, but I was searching throughout the neighborhood since past hour and I still couldn't find him.

Since he was not using his phone, no one could contact him. Only three hours were left now till Ashar's flight and still I had no idea where he was. I stopped walking, bent down, grabbing my knees. There were not many houses in this area and since it was night time, the darkness prevailed everywhere. No vehicles at all, only dim white street lights after every five steps.

I didn't understand why Ashar was roaming in this dark, hushed street. In a hopeless attempt, I wandered my eyes everywhere without moving because I had no more energy left to move a foot. I caught a human figure beside a maple tree.

Actually on one side of the street, there was a row of maple trees and that person was standing beside one of the trees. I took few steps further to get a close look of his face and then I recognized him. I found Ashar. Bubbling with mirthfulness, I heaved a sigh of relief.

He didn't see me because his face was in other direction. He kicked away few pebbles from the ground and then began looking up at the night sky while shoving his hands' inside his pants' pocket.

Hesitantly, I moved forward and said aloud, "Hey."

He responded to my voice by turning around and facing me. His eyes widened as soon as they recognized me.