29. The Blissful Moments

Next afternoon I spent with mother because doctors had advised to divert her mind from the pain, from her current condition through talking to her on light topics and making her laugh. So I tried that technique and chattered with her on random issues. I told her some stupid jokes as well that also influenced my mood positively. I also felt light-hearted.

When Ashar wasn't there, his bodyguard stayed near me like outside the hospital. He was also working like a driver for me, taking me to college, foster home and brings me back here at the hospital. My phone was with me, but I was being monitored that explained Ashar's lack of trust on me still. I had thought I would deal with all those puzzles later on and try to ignore these things right now because mother's health was my priority.

Anyways, in the middle of our chattering, I thought to try asking from mother about my indecisive marital status according to Christian religion because mother was a religious person and had studied few books on the topic so her opinion could be taken as authentic one.

I didn't tell her the truth that it happened to me. I lied that I read some strange news online past week that some girl fooled everyone by hiding her face through a veil and took all the vows with the groom who didn't know that the woman was not his bride.

"Can they be called a married couple, although no one knew the bride's real name and face?" I asked to her while offering her a spoonful of vegetable soup I had prepared for her.

She took the spoon from my hand and drank the soup before saying, "Such a confused situation! I've never heard of such type of marriage. But, well if they have taken all the wedding vows and exchanged rings in front of God, then they are married. She shouldn't have done that. It is a big sin to trick people in the Church."

I bit the corner of my lower lip, feeling ashamed, "But mother, news article said that the priest didn't say her name, but the original bride's name during the whole ceremony. Even the groom said his original bride's name during vows, then how can she get married to him? That man didn't accept her as his wife." I argued with a hope that she would say what I wanted to hear.

She took few breathes before answering me, "God knew who they were. In God's eyes they are married to each other, no matter if the names weren't taken correctly. According to Christian philosophy, if a man and woman declare each other husband and wife, making God their witness, they become husband and wife. From the bride's side she was married to that man. However, the confusion can be cleared through legal marriage contract. If she had signed them then there marriage is confirmed."

I felt down in the dumps. Her opinion was similar to everyone. Those legal papers had really devastated everything. They were the root of this whole problem. I think I should now stop looking for reasons to deny this unpleasant fact that I was Ashar's wife in every way.

"But why are you interested about it?" She quizzed, laying back on her bed.

"It's ju-just curiosity. I mean the incident is strange, right?" I stuttered.

I put the empty bowl beside the bed. She hummed, "I hope God will help those kids."

I hope that too.

"Now, go." She said weakly, "I want some rest. Call the doctor to change my bandages. They are all soaked with blood."

💙

Ashar was there as he said so I just went out of the hospital to see him. Actually he called me outside. I saw him leaning against his vehicle while looking here and there. When his gaze met with mine, he stood upright and passed me a smile. I scurried to him.

I put my one hand on another and stood in front of him waiting for him to say something. He lightly rubbed his forehead with his fingers as if he was confused or hesitant about something, "I haven't done my lunch yet." He shoved his hands in his pockets, "Can you accompany for it?"

"Yeah?" I raised my brows in bemusement.

He looked to his left for a second, "There's a good restaurant nearby on walking distance. Come with me."

It was four in the evening and he was asking for lunch with me? "But, I'm not hungry."

He grumbled, "I said I want a company. I'm not asking you to eat. You can just sit with me."

"Okay." I responded tentatively. He locked his car and started walking. I followed him.

I can tell he was maybe trying to cheer my mood or take me away from the stressful environment of the hospital. I decided to let him try because his efforts could do the job and give me some strength to face this another difficult phase of my life.

Ten minutes later, we reached to the restaurant which Ashar chose. The place was sumptuous and calm. The yellow, low lights were making the atmosphere very peaceful, complimenting the black furnishings. Only few tables were occupied obviously because it was not the rush hour, but still I could tell the people who come here were from the elite class.

I felt conscious about my appearance because my clothes were not appropriate according to the place. I was in plain jeans and khaki peplum top. There was no makeup on my face and I was certain that the dark circles were underlining my swollen eyes due to crying and lack of sleep. My hairs were roughly assembled into a high ponytail. I moved my hand on the top of my head to settle down the baby hairs that were probably sticking up.

We took the empty table. I sat in front of Ashar, "This place is good. I'm not dressed according to it."

"I can understand." He responded, "Don't think about it." He waved at the waiter who was standing at some distance. Waiter came to him and started writing down his order. Ashar chose the food for both of us.

After waiter went, he said, "You can eat a little. Their food is good."

"Okay. I'll try."

Afterwards, awkward silence encircled us. We both didn't say anything for next few minutes. His penetrating stare on me was making me feel uncomfortable so I pretended to look around.

"How's your mother?"

I glanced at him, "Same." I lowered my head and started playing with my fingers. The awkwardness in me was replaced by a sorrow. I was once again surrounded by a sorrow and fear of losing mother.

I looked up again, giving him a sad, small smile, "Yesterday I forgot to say thank you. Thanks a lot for your comfort and those things you said to give me some encouragement. Thank you for today as well I know you are trying to divert my mind."

"No problem." He said, "I know these days are hard for you."

Our food was placed on the table. Ashar moved one plate to him, grabbed the fork and started eating. The same moment, my phone began ringing. I pulled it out from my jeans and saw the caller was Ryan. Ashar stopped eating and looked at me.

"Excuse me, it's my friend." I said and took the call.

"Hey, what is it?"

"Where have you gone, Sanaya? Are you okay?" Ryan sounded worried.

"I'm nearby. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'll come back in half an hour."

"Yeah, I just came to the hospital and saw you weren't there so I was slightly concerned."

"Okay." I nodded, "Call me immediately when there's some emergency or mother needs anything. I'll bring it."

I hung up the call and pocketed my phone again. Ashar was giving me a blank stare the entire time. "I'm sorry. It was Ryan you met that day."

He put his fork down, leaning back in his chair, "You seem quite close to him."

"Yeah." I shrugged, "We know each other since the beginning. He lived in the same orphanage then we went to the same school. It was our orphanage who selected the school."

"So, you're saying there was just friendship between you two?" Creases formed between his brows.

"Actually, there was more than friendship from my side, but it only lasted for a short time." I explicated.

"Why it was one sided?" He tilted his head a little, grabbing his fork again.

"Because he never saw me that way. He likes someone else." I took my plate to myself and started eating. Honestly, I didn't do my lunch properly earlier. I just bought cold coffee and some cheese sandwiches from the hospital's cafeteria and now seeing a steamy hot, mouth-watering meat in front of me made my stomach growl a little.

"That's a sad end of romance." He took the bite from his plate and then licked his lips. That movement held my eyes and I found myself ogling the moisture that glinted on his mouth. My heart weakened at the sight.

"It's not like that. I don't like him anymore. It was temporary." I reasoned thoughtlessly. I forced my eyes to move in some other direction before he could catch me red-handed.

"There's something I wanna say to you."

I looked at him again, arching a brow. He put the fork down, waved at the waiter to clean our table while wiping his mouth with a napkin. I was done eating too.

He flattened his lips as he glanced at me again, "I...I want to apologize."

"Yeah?"

I didn't know what he wanted to say nor I was paying much attention to him because I was thinking about my own heart. Ashar was dangerous for me. I had been living a lonely for quite some time. My heart had always looked for someone's comfort, emotional support and for someone who make efforts to make me happy. That spot had been empty in my heart. And now seeing Ashar like that with me was impelling me to let him occupy that spot. I won't be able to protect myself afterwards from leading to another menacing journey.

"For my rudeness, for hurting you that day. It wasn't my intention." He said further, moving his gaze to my arm and gesturing to it, "I'm sorry, Sanaya."

I understood he was talking about that day when he came to my apartment and yelled at me for betraying him. I was astounded. He was finally realizing his mistake.

He exhaled out a low breath, "I was angry and I had every reason to be, but still it doesn't justify what I did to you. I should've been careful. I just want you to know that I regret what I did to you and I'm really not a type of man who supports such things."

About that regret he was talking about was all over his face, supporting his apology. I was out of words because I knew those circumstances compelled him to act in a harsh way. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry too, that I also regretted to challenge his tolerance level, for lying to him, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to touch that topic right now which would refresh our wounds all over again.

"It's okay." I tried to speak, "I know you're not that type of man and you did it out of anger. If my word can lessen your guilt then I say that I forgav-"

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I get your attention please." I stopped in mid-sentence when I heard a loud voice. Ashar and I both turned our heads. Everyone else in the restaurant did the same. There was a young man with copper hair who was standing at the stage connected to a wooden dance floor with a wireless mic close to his mouth.

"Today is the day when I first time confessed my love to the woman who is my fiancé now." He smiled, "Since the happiness in me is overflowing so I can't keep it to myself anymore and thought to share with all of you." He turned to his right, "Natalia, I want to say that I still love you very much and my heart races in the same way like it raced when I saw you for the first time."

"Awe." I exclaimed aloud and smiled. That was very cute!

I wasn't the only one who felt like that. Other people in the restaurant also applauded for them and said their awe's in unison. That man walked over, taking the flower bouquet from the waiter and sat on his knees in front of the woman who might be his beloved, Natalia. He offered the bouquet to her. The woman's face turned red into a happy blush as she accepted the flowers.

The smile on my face widened. I sighed loudly at the adorable sight. Both of them really loved each other. It was visible on their faces. "Thank you so much for accepting me, for making me a part of your life." He rose on his feet again, took Natalia's hand in his and walked to the previous spot.

I turned my head to Ashar with a toothy smile. I got surprised when I saw him staring at me instead of the beautiful couple. I raised my brows at him voicelessly to ask him what's wrong. He thinned his lips and shook his head in response. I shrugged and moved my face straight again.

Some waiter came to our table and put two chocolate pies on it. Ashar gave him a quizzical look, "We didn't order that."

Waiter smiled at him, "It's from them." He gestured towards the man who was standing in front, "Mr. Greg will pay for it."

So that copper-haired man's name was Greg. After waiter left, I tasted the dessert, "Mmm... It's good. You should try too."

Ashar listened to me and took a bite. My mood was completely lightened up now. I was glad that Ashar brought me here. Seeing something positive, some blissful moments of that happy couple uplifted me. I glanced at them. They shared a long, heated kiss in front of us. "That's lovely." I whispered.

Greg faced the guests again, "I invite you to be a part of our little celebration. Come and join us on a dance floor."

A song was played and Greg and Natalia began to dance on it. Few couples got up from their table and joined them. I looked at Ashar, "I should go and congratulate them. I'll be back."

I quickly stood up and went over. There were other people as well who greeted them. Natalia looked more beautiful from a closer look. Her cheeks were rosy. Her curls were almond brown, gleaming under the strobe lights of the dance floor, "Hi. I'm Sanaya." I extended my hand to her, "Congratulation for your first anniversary. You've got a lovely fiancé."

She let out a coy chuckle and shook hands with mine, "Thank you so much. My hands are still cold." She was right. I felt cold sweat as my palm met with hers. I greeted Greg as well.

"You've a nice-looking partner for yourself." Natalia said.

"Huh?" I didn't get what she was talking about. She waggled her brows, hinting me to look behind. I turned and got astonished when I saw Ashar was standing there.

"He's not what-"

"You guys should join us too." Greg didn't let me finish. Ashar and I exchanged nervous looks to each other while he distractedly shook hands first with Greg then Natalia.

"We wish you a happy life for both of you." Natalia gave both of us a wide smile.

Ashar scratched his thumb on his forehead and tried to explain them one more time, "We're just-"

He stopped in mid-sentence when Natalia grabbed his hand. Then she grabbed mine as well and gave it in Ashar's hand, "You both are feeling shy, I guess."

I was fazed and embarrassed and awkward and what not. It was the first time. It was literally the first time when I held Ashar's hand. My feet were definitely in air right now. I shouldn't have came here. They were getting wrong ideas about us. I couldn't understand what made them think that we were a couple when I was pretty sure that we didn't even look good together. We didn't look like a match made in heaven, I can bet my life on it.

I felt too uncomfortable to look at his face and see how he was taking this situation. Natalia walked behind and gave me a light push from the back. I was shoved forward and collided with Ashar's chest.

My mouth agape unknowingly as we both looked at each other. Ashar got astounded too with this sudden collision. His hand moved to my arm as a reflex to hold me. "Enjoy your moment guys. You both look adorable together." Natalia commented.

Adorable? Huh?

Greg laughed in response, "You're right. I think they are on first stage that's why they look so hesitant. But anyways, we now leave you two alone."

Once I was sure they left. I moved my eyes from his face, although my one hand was on his chest where I was feeling his slightly unsteady heartbeats. His hand slowly went down to the small of my back that made me look at him again. The lights of this area were lowered to none. Only a white strobe light was moving around helping me to see my surroundings. The music that was playing in the background was very slow and light, increasing the tension in the air between us.

"I'm sorry." My voice came out as breathy, "I shouldn't have come here to meet them." I began speaking to reduce some awkwardness between us, "I put you in this with me."

"I know, right." His voice sounded deep and hoarse for some reason, "I didn't know you like these sort of stuff; cheesiness, those flowery thing."

Maybe he was also trying the same so I tried to converse with him to calm down my palpitated heart. "Yep, because they looked so happy and cute." I said, "I was drawn to them."

My front was still touching his, but we were not really dancing, just standing close to give others illusion that we were enjoying the music and each other's company. The warmth of his was affecting my heart in unexplainable ways, giving me cold shivers.

"Do you think I can do this type of stuff?"

I let out a chuckle, putting both of my hands on his chest wall, "You don't have to do that much hard work. Your handsome face can make girl's knees weak very easily."

Wait, what? Did I really say that out loud?

The smile on my face faded. God, Sanaya, you embarrass yourself in front of him every time.

His expressions perplexed, mixed with humor, "What? Handsome face?"

Words were slipping out of my mouth involuntarily. My tongue was not in my control. I guess it was the atmosphere, the magic of music and the low lights and this slow dance that was working on me, making me lose my mind.

My cheeks heated up, changing their color into crimson, "Actually-"

"Did you just call me handsome?" A playful smile made its way across his face.

I put my hands down from his chest and tried to create some distance, "I didn't say it for myself." He fully wrapped his arm around me and encircled me. My knees were palpably going weak now.

"Its othe-r girls say tha-t" I completed my sentence with difficulty because I had troubled in breathing.

His brows lifted up to the highest level, hinting me that he didn't believe what I just said, "Never mind." His face relaxed. He shrugged, "I know you're attracted to me. I've seen you checking me out few times so you really don't have to say it on my face."

My pupils enlarged to its full size. My precious pride was crushed into tiny pieces, "No way. It's not true. What are you talking about?" I felt like I was sounding like a kid who had steal his mate's pencil and now trying to make his parents believe on him that he really didn't do it.

He broke into laughter, "I can bet you've already imagined me kissing you. No doubt, you're a teenager."

The color of my cheeks was now definitely becoming cherry red. I grabbed his arm and tried to move it to come out of his grip. His strong aura was making me feel weak and vulnerable as if all of my sins were disclosing one by one.

"You're making up things on your own." I snapped, "You're wrong. I've never imagined anything like that."

Mischief flashed in his eyes as he pulled me close once again. He rested his forehead on my forehead, touched my nose with his. He whispered in breathy voice, "So if I test you right now and kiss you, would you stop me?"

His hot breaths were already kissing my mouth. The heat from my stomach went up to my chest, "I don't-" My lips touched his as they moved. My heart began drumming against my rib cage. He was teasing me I know. His mouth was too close. He was not even letting me talk.

I slightly moved my face back from him, "Don't challeng-" This time I was stopped because he blocked my voice by crashing his lips on mine. I froze, utterly dumbfounded. The world around me started swinging as soon as I felt the softness of his mouth. I closed my eyes. He insisted me to open up for him, so I did. I parted my lips and let him took control of me.

His hand moved to the nape of my neck and pressed me more to him. I slipped my hands up to his chest, clutching his collar. He tasted like a chocolate pie we ate earlier. His sweetness took me to the seventh sky. My heart pulsated, sending wild tremors to all of my nerves, surprising me because I didn't know that I was able to feel such strong sensations.

I responded to the kiss and tried to suck all the sweetness from his lips. His mouth was softer than I had imagined. It was my first kiss. Ashar stole my first kiss. This felt so good, so hypnotic. I would want to keep doing it all my life. But some weird noises – similar to whistles and clapping and hooting, broke my haze of pleasure. The reality hit me. I opened my eyes. Ashar did the same. Our mouths stopped moving. We both pulled apart in an instant.

I looked around and saw everyone was looking at us and applauding for us. I covered my swollen mouth with my palms as I realized what I was doing. Oh mother!

"That was hot." Natalia shouted. All of them giggled in unison.

This was wrong. I lost my damn self-control. I put down my protective shield and let my heart own me. Why in the world I kissed him back? Samara's face flashed in front of my eyes.

I turned my surprised gaze towards Ashar who also looked confused, embarrassed like me. When guilt prickled through me, I crossed the crowd and ran out the restaurant.