Chapter 15 - You are Julia Stiles

Julia was glad she'd put on her sweat pants and a hoodie this morning. As nurse Wilkins was pushing her wheelchair along the hospital hallways, Julia couldn't imagine being dressed in the hospital gown. She was bruised almost all over her face and body; with a hood on and the rest of her body fully clothed she was getting definitely less stares.

The second CT scan seemed to have made the doctor happy. He would give her the detailed results later, but Julia knew they were going to release her soon.

Was she glad? I should be. She thought bitter.

Julia felt safe in the hospital though. Not only did she have her personal mountain of muscles guarding her door, but she was never alone; Zoey, Jess or Jack were usually with her. She would again be alone in her apartment. And even though she had been used to being alone in the course of last year, meeting Nicholas' men a few days back had implemented a fear in her she couldn't seem to get rid of, a fear that made her panic at the thought of being just by herself again.

As she was getting closer to her hospital room, Julia heard raised voices. That was her support group, as she started calling them in her mind: Zoey, Jess and Jack.

"We need to tell her," Jess said.

"This will only freak her out!" it was Zoey's concerned voice.

"Jack, won't you support me on this?" Jess must have turned to Deschanel.

Julia touched the nurse's hand, signalling to her to stop the wheelchair. She wanted to listen to the three before making her presence known.

There was silence in the room. Apparently Jack was considering what to say...

"There's no point in hiding this from Julia, Zoey. She is a big girl, she'll handle it..." Jack said in a business-like tone, which made Julia feel grateful. "And if she's not, then she'll have you to hold her hand..." he added.

Asshole.

Julia patted the nurse's hand and she was wheeled into the room.

"I am a big girl, I can handle it," she sent each of them an annoyed look. "What is it?"

Zoey looked like a child caught in the act of stealing an apple, Jess seemed to be glad with the turn of events and Jack... well Jack put on that unreadable expression of his again.

"How did the CT scan go?" Zoey was clearly stalling.

Julia narrowed her eyes, considering whether to be angry at her friend for hiding something from her, but she knew she would get to know about it sooner or later.

"I guess it went well," Julia answered with a dismissive wave of her hand. "The doc should come here with detailed results soon, but I think he was glad with what he saw on the monitor... That probably means I'll be able to go home soon," she concluded, getting up from the wheelchair.

Back in bed Julia looked at the people in the room, realizing it had gotten awfully quiet.

"About that..." Zoey started, clearly hesitating.

Seeing his sister's behaviour, Jack sighed and walked over to Julia's bed.

"Julia, someone broke into your apartment and... well, turned it upside down completely," he said in a dry tone, but she could see concern in his eyes. Julia forgot that the moment the meaning of his words downed on her.

"Someone robbed my apartment...?

"It wasn't a robbery, Julia..." Jack said.

"What? Then w..." she trailed off. "No... it's impossible! They couldn't have found my private address too..."

"Tom sent a couple of his crew to get your stuff," Zoey finally spoke. "They claim nothing was stolen and anyway..."

Julia closed her eyes. Can it get any worse?

"Anyway what, Zoey?" she asked, not opening her eyes.

"They left a message on the bathroom mirror..."

If I don't open my eyes right now, could it all go away? She was so tired. Tired with every day being worse than the one before, with the fear that seemed to have become her companion, with constantly being dependent on someone else. She was so far away from the Julia from few weeks back; that Julia managed to somehow keep her past at a distance, rather small distance, but still a distance. That Julia was strong and independent. The Julia sitting on the hospital bed was weak and lost and that was driving her mad.

"What was that message, Zoey?" Jullia finally asked.

"I'll see you soon, sweet Julia."

"I never liked that mirror anyway," Julia answered, hoping it would seem light, but her trembling voice betrayed the emotions she was trying to hide.

"Julia..."

"Just forget it, Zoey!" she sighed. "I will change the locks, clean the place up and..."

"You are not going back there!" Jack interrupted her in a tone so harsh, it made her jump. Seeing that, he added in a smoother voice. "Stiles, it's too dangerous for you to even be in the neighbourhood of your apartment... You will stay with Zoey and Jess until we figure this out."

Julia wanted to argue with him so badly. She wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and his annoying CEO tone, but besides constantly feeling tired, she also knew Jack was right. Besides, staying alone in that apartment would probably end up with her having a heart attack every time she'd hear a noise.

"Fine," she just answered, which earned her shock stares from everyone, including the mighty Jack Deschanel.

Julia chuckled at the memory of her naïve assumptions. Agreeing to move in with Zoey and Jess she assumed that she would not be alone. But yet again life found a way to stick out its mean tongue at her.

Not only was she now in an apartment that was not her own, she was totally alone in it! Jess usually worked long shifts or was called to the hospital for some emergencies, while Zoey was right now on her way to visit Julia's mother. You should be grateful for that! Julia scolded herself.

Still in the hospital Julia had decided to call her mom. Three missed calls had meant her mother had probably started to stress out about her daughter's wellbeing.

"Julia! Thank god!" Her mom answered the phone after the second beep. "Why aren't you picking up."

"Hi, mom."

"Julia, what's wrong?" Her mother must have heard the weariness in Julia's voice.

Julia gave herself a mental slap for not switching on the cheerful voice.

"I'm sick..." she lied.

"Sick?" there was suspicion in Mrs Stiles' tone.

"I think it's the flu, mom. I have a killer headache, pain in the joints, chills... you name it." In a way what she'd been describing had been true. She'd been feeling all that, just not as a result of the flu.

Julia had looked at Zoey who'd been in the hospital room during the phone call. Her friend sent her a sad smile.

"So, why were you calling me, mom?"

"Well, I wanted to check whether you remember that we are visiting grandpa's grave this weekend?"

Shit! Julia thought panicked.

Every year, on her grandpa's birthday, Julia and her mom would visit his grave. Grandpa Egdar had been a father figure for the first ten years of her life. Intelligent, outspoken and just, he'd taught her to always speak her mind and to defend what she believed to be right.

Already the year before, shortly after the Seattle events, Julia had barely managed to visit his grave. Completely stressed out and panicked, she'd showed up at the graveyard for five minutes, constantly looking over her shoulder. Her mom had to ask an acquaintance to drive her the long seventy miles to the place. Julia had promised her mom back then that the year after they would properly celebrate grandpa's birthday.

Right now however there'd been no way Julia could show up at her mom's house bruised and with broken bones, expecting her mom to believe she had the flu. There had also been no way she would have been able to drive all the way from New York with a concussion. She'd still been feeling dizzy.

"Mom..." she'd whispered, brushing her fingers through her hair. "I completely forgot that it's this weekend already... I don't think I'll feel better by then..."

"I understand, Julia."

Her mother wasn't able to hide her disappointment.

"I'm so sorry, mom..."

"I'll do it!" Zoey cut in. "I don't know what that is, but I'm volunteering to be your substitute."

"What? Whose that?" Mrs Stiles asked on the other end of the line.

"It's Zoey, mom." Julia had explained and turned to her friend. "Are you sure, Zoey? You would need to drive to my mom's house, pick her up and then drive seventy more miles to visit my grandpa's grave. I..."

"I'm sure, Julia, as long as your mom accepts such a substitute?"

"I accept!" Julia's mom had exclaimed from the other end of the line. Apparently she'd been hearing Zoey loud and clear. "Of course, no one can replace you, dear, but I'd say Zoey is the next best thing!"

So yeah, Zoey had left Julia in the guest bedroom and was now on her road trip to do all the things Julia was supposed to do.

Julia laid back down on the bed; her ribs reminding her of all the things she'd been trying to forget.

God, how I'd love to do some work; check my emails, make some phone calls... She thought bitter. Jess was very clear though; Julia was supposed to rest and stay away from her laptop for at least a week. Julia was obviously unhappy about the doctor's order, but truth be told, she knew very well she wouldn't be able to work just yet. The broken ribs did not allow her to remain in the seated position for long; whenever she tried reading a book the headache was returning and she was getting dizzy; because of the dislocated shoulder, now in a cast, she was not even able to hold the mouse properly.

Aren't we a miserable little loser, Stiles...

As she was trying not to feel sorry for herself, after all that was not the Julia Stiles way, she heard the front door of the condo opening.

Here come my pain killers, Julia thought relieved. Jess was probably back from the hospital.

Very slowly Julia got up and walked out of the room. As she was passing a mirror in the hallway her own reflection caught her eye. Thank god only girls live in this condo, she thought. In shorts, an old t-shirt and a messy ponytail she looked far from the Julia Stiles everyone had been seeing in the last year. Not to mention the bruises all over her face, hands and legs. I must be quite a sight!

Julia walked down the stairs slowly. She could hear Jess in the kitchen. She sighed. This probably meant the good doc brought some takeaway dinner and Julia wouldn't be getting any pain killers until she ate something. Jess was very headstrong about that.

"What are you planning to force feed me with this time, Jess?" Julia asked, walking into the kitchen, but she froze.

Jack stood by the counter taking out different food containers from multiple paper bags.

"How about you start with a soup, Stiles?"

***

Jack had to force himself to keep the smile on. When Julia walked into the kitchen he almost dropped the paper bag full of food that Jess had told him to buy.

Different feelings washed over Jack as he saw Julia barefoot in the kitchen. First of all she wasn't wearing much; shorts showing the full length of her great legs and a t-shirt that couldn't hide the lack of bra underneath. That would be enough for Jack to feel seriously aroused, but the bruises and scratches covering all her body made him feel anger. They also brought back the memory of Julia's story, of what she'd done in Seattle which in turn made him realize how helpless he was up against her past.

"Jack? What... what are you doing here?" Julia asked. Jack could see she was feeling self conscious, so he turned his back to her, pretending he was searching for something in the kitchen cupboard.

"Jess basically ordered me to feed you, since she's going to be stuck at the hospital for the night. Clearly she doesn't trust you would eat the right things, or actually eat at all." Grabbing a bowl from one of the cupboards, he turned to Julia who was already sitting at the kitchen table. She looked more composed, now that she'd managed to partially hide from him behind the table.

"Well, forgive me if eating is the last thing on my mind right now..." Julia switched to her pissed tone which Jack knew all too well.

"Julia," he interrupted her before they would start fighting. "I get it. I know from Jess that you are in pain, I can also imagine that you have a lot on your mind. That's why you have us, Jess, Zoey and me, to care about the rest."

"I... I don't..." She looked so vulnerable right now that Jack couldn't believe that was the same person he'd dealt with in the last months.

"Now, eat the damn chicken soup or Jess will kill me!" he interrupted her in a warm tone, seeing that her eyes were getting wet. Jack knew Julia would rather die than show weakness in front of him. Despite all that had happened she still was trying so hard to appear strong.

She reluctantly took the bowl with soup from him and started eating.

Jack was starving himself, so he grabbed a box of Chinese food and joined Julia by the table.

"I didn't have time to eat lunch today," he explained, seeing her surprised look.

Besides that they ate in silence. Jack could see Julia was deep in thought, so didn't want to pull her out of her reverie. He also noticed that every now and then she would unconsciously touch her chest; probably feeling the broken ribs.

"Would I come off as too optimistic if I asked you what you'd like to eat next?" he asked when Julia was done with the soup.

"Yes, you would, Deschanel." She actually smiled at him. "But I'd like a dessert..." She chuckled when Jack looked at her confused. "I'm sure Jess told you where she keeps my pain meds...?"

"Ah! She did indeed," Jack admitted with a cheeky smile and pulled out an orange bottle from one of the kitchen drawers. "You look tired, Stiles. Why don't you take your dessert upstairs and lie down?"

"No way, Jack!" she exclaimed, earning herself a raised brow from Jack. "Since you're here, you are going to tell me all about what's been going on in the office the last week, how's my team doing with the events prep..."

"Aren't we a little demanding workaholic..." Jack laughed, stocking the rest of the food, and there was a lot of it, in the fridge.

"Well, Jess does not let me work, but I guess I am allowed to listen about work..." she said, getting up. Immediately her face twisted in pain.

"Julia, you ok?" Jack was by her side in a flash.

"Yeah, I guess my head and ribs are not happy with the speed I got up with..."

Jack grabbed Julia's hand and led her to the couch slowly. He then handed her the pills and a glass of water.

Sitting down on the couch next to Julia, he looked around.

"Funny, how this apartment is exactly the same as mine and yet it's completely different," he said.

Julia chuckled with understanding. Did she make the same observation?

"Zoey and Jess made this place a home, Jack. While your apartment is just a place you live in..."

Jack looked at her surprised.

"I mean, I did see you are trying to make it a home..." Julia added. "I saw your mom's paintings and that horrible old armchair of yours..."

"Hey! I love my armchair!"

"Just give it time and your place will eventually resemble this one."

Julia swallowed the painkiller and slowly rested her back on the couch.

"That's enough about interior design, Deschanel. Now tell me about Brand Today!" she ordered, turning to him.

"Well, Alice is off for Chicago next week," he started.

"Already?"

"I mean, she's not moving there yet, but she needs to oversee the prep of the office, hire new managers, meet with the customers who have their offices there..."

"I bet you're glad you don't have to do it this time around?"

"Yes I am." Jack grinned at her. "Don't get me wrong, I loved doing all that back in LA, but one time's enough..."

"What about Lizzy and Josh?" Julia asked. "How are they doing?" Jack guessed Julia was worrying about her coworkers who were now left in charge of two big events Brand Today was organizing for their clients.

"Lizzie sent me a summary two days ago. Similar to the one you were sending me for Brady Corp., although hers is not that dry and factual..." he trailed off as Julia punched him in the ribs. "Auch! I see you still got some strength in there, Stiles..."

"Always..."

"Anyway, Lizzie and Josh are doing well. As far as I know there are no delays, food providers and musicians have been contracted... But hey, why don't you call Lizzie yourself? She will for sure give you more details..." Jack suggested.

"I wanted to, but I'm not sure what I should tell her... Why am I not at work?"

"I thought Zoey told you..."

"Told me what?"

"She told everyone that you were in a car accident."

"Oh..."

"I mean, Stiles, you do look like you've been hit by a truck."

"And I feel like it too." Julia sighed. She rested her head on the couch too, feeling the pain killers making her sleepy already. "You're right, I'll call Lizzie tomorrow."

"Am I already boring you?" Jack asked with a chuckle, seeing Julia's closed eyes.

"Who? You? God, you are extremely boring, Deschanel..."

"I thought so, anyway, let me tell you some more boring stories about work..."

Jack went on about a new business deal, but stopped after a moment seeing that Julia wasn't listening. Something else was clearly bothering her...

Realizing he'd stopped talking, she turned to him.

"Why are you here, Jack?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you constantly around?"

The question surprised him. She must have noticed his confusion.

"Don't get me wrong, Jack, I'm really grateful for what you've done; for the body guards outside the door, for the support, for..."

"But?" Jack interrupted her, getting slightly annoyed with her explanations.

"But clearly you despise me now that you've learned my story..."

Her words took him by surprise. Jack wasn't sure how to react to them.

"I saw the look on your face, Jack. After I finished telling the story back at the hospital, you left the room without even looking at me..."

"Yes, I left the room, Stiles, but not because I despised you. It was because I was angry..."

"Angry with me?!"

"No...!" Jack's initial reaction was to object, but then he thought twice. "Yes. I was angry with what you did, angry that you went through something so horrible, so disgusting... for nothing. No, worse actually, you went through all that and you are still being punished for that!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Julia asked, her voice trembling. "Don't you think I've been feeling anger with myself all that time?!" She rested her head back on the couch and closed her eyes. "Why... why was I so naïve, why did I agree to play that game..."

"Because you are Julia Stiles," Jack interrupted her in a warm tone.

Julia opened her eyes and shot him a confused look.

"You are Julia Stiles, a person who stands up for others, is not afraid to defend what she believes in and will not hesitate to sacrifice her wellbeing or even safety for it."

Julia just stared at Jack in shock. He didn't blame her, more than that; he'd never complimented her in so many sentences before. But then she again closed her eyes and shook her head, as if trying to push away his words.

"Then Julia Stiles is a fucking moron, Jack."

"No, she is not. She is tough, she is headstrong. She just needs some time to feel that again. To feel whole again."

Julia remained silent. She didn't move, didn't walk away, so Jack assumed his company was still welcome. He remembered how scared she was back at the hospital to be left alone. Staying alone in such a big apartment surely wasn't easy for her. Not that she's ever going to admit that...

Few minutes later, when Julia's breathing became regular and deep, Jack realized she'd fallen asleep. When a moment later her head rested on his arm, he was sure of it.

He grabbed the remote and switched on the news. Resting his feet on Zoey's glass table, Jack got a homey feeling. Something he'd never felt with Penelope. Even when they had spent time together doing nothing on the couch, in front of the TV, it had never felt real, it had never given him that feeling of being... connected.

He felt it now. With Julia's warm body next to his, her quiet breathing fanning his neck, Jack felt he was in the right place, he belonged.

His phone rang. Jack instantly picked up, worried that the noise might wake Julia, but she must have been really tired, because she didn't even stir.

"Well? Has she eaten?" It was Jess.

"Yes, she did," Jack whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because Julia is asleep."

"Oh, good that she's in bed. She must really be resting..."

"Well, she's not in bed, Jess." Jack butted in, feeling that Jess was not going to like what he was about to say. "She fell asleep sitting on the couch."

There was silence on the other end of the line. He'd swear he could hear Jess counting to ten.

"Since you are Zoey's brother and quite an influential man, Deschanel, I will not verbally assault you right now, but for heaven's sake, man! She needs to lie in bed!"

That was actually the first time Jack managed to piss off Jess. Indeed, he was an influential man, rich and well known, but there was something about Jess that made even a guy like Jack keep quiet and obey whatever she'd say.

"Allright, doc. Let me try to wake her up..."

"You better! I gotta go, Jack, but I'm counting on you," and she hung off.

Jack sighed, throwing the phone on the couch.

"Julia...?" he whispered, but got no reaction. He then gently squeezed her hand. "Julia, you need to go to bed or Jess will eat me alive..."

"Hmmm..." Finally some reaction.

"Julia," Jack said in a firm tone. "Wake up."

"What do you want, Deschanel...?" she answered him sleepily.

"You need to be in bed."

"I'm perfectly fine here. Look..." and to prove her point Julia laid down on the couch.

"Stiles, either you get up right now or I will carry you to your bedroom." He was sure such a threat would work on Julia, but she again seemed deep asleep.

Jack wondered for a moment whether the pills Jess was giving her were not too strong.

He sighed, getting up from the couch.

"You can't say I didn't warn you, Stiles." Jack whispered as he bent down and put his left hand under Julia's knees and his right under her arms. She was really light, maybe even a bit too light. Afterall, she'd admitted herself that she did not feel like eating. Jack suddenly regretted not forcing more food into her.

He moved towards the stairs and started the walk up with Julia in his arms. It felt so good. Again Jack could not fight the feeling that he was in the right place, at the right time.

Once in the guest bedroom, he walked to the bed slowly. Not wanting to admit, even to himself, that he wasn't ready to let go of Julia, not just yet.

He laid her gently on the bed, trying to be mindful of her broken hand and ribs. As he was covering Julia with a blanket, he realized she opened her eyes and was watching him.

"Sleep well, Julia." Jack tucked her in. As he was moving away to leave, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to her. She lifted her head slightly.

Their lips met. The kiss was gentle and light, but it took Jack's breath away. Few seconds later Julia laid back down and closed her eyes. She seemed deep asleep again.

Did she just kiss me in her sleep? Jack stood in the middle of her bedroom totally shocked. Or maybe it was intentional...? Dream on, Deschanel. Jack scolded himself and left the room.

When Jess called a couple of minutes later, Jack was too distracted to talk.

"Mission accomplished," he just said and hung up.

He knew he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.