Chapter 30

Connie

~I need to take a step back. I can’t do this. Not with him. Not if I will never see him again.~

I stared into Raylon’s eyes, wanting to tell him the impossible feeling I had for him already, but I kept my mouth shut.

~I couldn’t tell him.~

~I couldn’t let myself admit it to me.~

~If I did, it would break my heart to leave.~

~I need to distance myself from him.~

I let go of his hand and stepped back. “So what’s for breakfast?” I asked, forcing a lighter tone into my voice.

I saw his eyes flash in disappointment before he smiled at me, the scar pulling at his lip.

“I will make you a traditional breakfast of my home. I have not cooked since my mother lived, but I will do my best.”

I smiled and followed him to the kitchen.

The room was a massive open space with glass walls and offered no privacy. Then I remembered we were completely alone here.

The thought brought a small smile to my face.

I jumped up onto the counter behind him and watched him work.

He turned to me and gave me a knee-weakening smile. “Connie, no matter what happens here today, or how things progress with us, I want you to know something.

From this moment on, you will only ever know joy, wonder, and peace as long as I have something to say about it.”

Again the pit in my stomach fired up. The one that reminded me that I would soon be going home, and I would never see him again.

That was the deal I made with Billy and Bob. And one I meant to keep. I couldn’t leave my mother behind. Or my life, what little of it I had.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Raylon,” I said, turning my eyes away from him.

“You could stay,” he whispered.

The idea pulled at me from every angle. Staying here with him sounded like a dream. A fantasy like hitting the lottery.

“Raylon—”

“Just know that if you want to, you will never want for anything. I will not speak of it again. Not unless it is something you are willing to consider.”

~Could I? Could I stay here with him? Leave my life and everything I know behind to be with a man I don’t know, at all!~

“Please stop,” I said and shifted away from him.

I jumped off the counter and went to the window looking at the thick forest next to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” he said from behind me. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I only wanted you to know that you are welcome here, any time you like.”

I spun around to face him, my emotions getting the better of me. “I can’t, Raylon! I can’t stay here and live in this fantasy with you. I can’t be who you want me to be.

“I have a life on Earth, a family I can’t leave behind. You live in this perfect world where I don’t fit in! I’m not like you. I’m not one of you.

“I am an outsider who has no business being here!” I shouted, and stormed off to the lounge, the tears stinging my eyes.

~He makes it all sound so perfect! So easy!~

I let the tears drip down my cheeks, waiting for him to follow me, but at the silence from behind me, I risked a glance to find the kitchen empty.

I frowned and looked around for him but couldn’t find him.

I pulled in a deep breath to steady myself and went looking for him.

After a few minutes I found him in the garden, behind the kitchen, his back turned to the door. I stepped out and made my way to him.

He turned to face me as I approached, and my heart sank to see the cold metal mask looking back at me.

Raylon

Her words cut through me like a knife. ~How could she think she is anything less than perfection?~ ~She is the only thing that makes sense to me in my own world.~

I stood outside, the fresh air a relief to my tight chest, and listened to the birds and small animals in the trees.

I heard Connie come outside, and I shut my eyes to keep the emotion back. I turned to face her, my hideous face hidden once more, and saw the disappointment in her eyes.

“Perhaps we should return,” I said, not sure what else I could say that would not make this situation worse.

She lowered her eyes from my mask and sighed. “No.”

My heart leaped in my chest as I waited for her to say more.

She bit her lip for a second, then said, “I don’t want to go. And I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide from me again. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I—”

She paused, turning red in the face.

I stood quietly, waiting.

“I…Oh God, why is this so hard to say?”

“When my brother and I were boys, my father used a trick to get us to speak without fear,” I said, turning my back to her. “If you cannot see my eyes, the words will come easier.”

I stood, waiting.

“I want to stay here with you,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I’m falling for you, Raylon, and it scares me.

“I don’t know you, I don’t know this world of yours, and I left everything I ever knew behind with the thought that I would return one day. I have nothing to offer a prince.

“I’m not like the other women here, and all I can think of is what happens when you get bored with me? When you no longer want me?”

I wanted so badly to turn to her and tell her how that would never happen.

She continued, saying, “You are everything I ever wanted in a man. You’re strong, handsome, gentle, and kind, but I don’t feel like I am anywhere near good enough for you.”

I waited, shaking my head at her absurdity.

When she didn’t say any more, I shifted my stance.

“Please look at me and say something,” she finally said.

I turned to her, my hand reaching up for the release to my mask.

When the metal cover moved off my face, I met her eyes and saw a tear fall.

“There has never been anyone in my life who has made me feel the way you do. The closest person I had in my life was the queen, Mystasar.

“She always believed I was worthy of love. I never took her words to heart, until now,” I said.

I went to her, saying, “I don’t understand how someone can make me fall apart as you did, then build me up into a new man in such a short time, but every word you say, I believe.

“You told me not to hide, and I have never had my mask off for this long before. You told me you wanted to see me, the real me, and I showed you.

“Connie, I have never and will never feel this with anyone else. It’s madness, but it will always be you.”

“Raylon, this is crazy! We’ve just met!”

“You don’t think I realize that? I am trying very hard to make sense of what it is you have done to me, but every time I look at you, or hear your voice, or feel your touch, I lose all control of my thoughts.

“Ask anyone in this kingdom and they will tell you that I am the most rational, clear-headed man. But not when it comes to you.” I paused to watch her eyes.

She looked at me, her mind at work behind her absent stare.

I continued, “What if you were to spend some time here, with the promise that once you are ready to leave, I will personally take you home, no questions asked?

“Get to know the kingdom…get to know me. The moment you no longer want to be here, I give you my word, no one will stop you from leaving.”

She smiled at this. “What about Billy and Bob? I have a deal with them. I can’t go back on my word.”

“The kingdom has an uneasy peace with the Fuls,” I replied. “I will speak to my brother.

“But if we let them stay longer than the five days they requested, we could bring about a new threat to the kingdom.”

“They’re not a threat to anyone. They’re just curious. Everything they said to me from the moment I met them has been the truth.

“Not once have I been hurt by them, and besides the day they took me, I haven’t felt scared. Would you be willing to consider getting to know them?

“If they have five days here, then at least try to understand them. For me?”

I sighed and nodded. “I will do this for you. But don’t hope too much that it will change the king’s decision. He must think of what is best for the people of his kingdom.”

“Maybe if he gave people a chance, he would see that not everyone is as bad as he thinks.

“And besides, they have a shitload of knowledge on their ship. Sharing something like that can’t be a bad thing.”

I gestured for her to go back inside and followed her to the kitchen. She jumped up onto the counter again.

I glanced at the large white seats standing only a short distance away from her. I smiled to myself and turned back to the breakfast I started earlier.

I spoke as I worked. “The Fuls have already shared their knowledge with us. It was one of the terms of our peace.”

“So then you know that it’s more valuable to have beings so educated as friends rather than enemies.”

“It’s not that simple,” I said. “We started a war with them that we had no business being involved in. To admit that to them is to show weakness.”

“It’s not a weakness to admit you made a mistake. Why did you guys go to war with them anyway?”

The thought of my brother, blinded with grief, flashed in my mind.

“When the queen died, my brother lost his way. He needed something to take his pain out on, and the Fuls happened to be at war with another race not far from our borders.”

“So basically you poked your nose in where it didn’t belong,” she said, and I spun around to look at her smiling.

I chuckled. “Yes. This kingdom is small, compared to others out there, but we are among the most powerful. Our allies number in the hundreds.”

At her silence I turned to find her eyes wide and her mind once again working.

“Did I say something wrong?”

She shook her head and said, “No. I just can’t believe there is so much life in the universe.”

I placed the knife down and went to her. “The universe is teeming with all kinds of life. Does your race not know this?”

She shook her head. “No. As far as the human race is concerned, we are alone in the universe.”

This time I frowned. “Where is your home? If you have never met any other races, your planet must be very far away.”

“I have no idea where it is. It’s in the Milky Way, but I doubt that tells you anything.”

“No. Perhaps our scholars may know. When we return to the palace, I will ask them.”

“And when will that be?”

“I will have to return by this evening. My brother will expect me and Laylar back. Although I would much rather be here, alone with you.”

She smiled and blushed. “That’s sweet, Raylon. But get back to cooking, before breakfast turns into lunch.”