Forever After All: Chapter 59

I walk into my bedroom and pause. I’ve always loved solitude, so why does this room suddenly feel so… empty?

I tug on my tie and walk into my closet, my eyes pausing on the empty shelves. There are traces of her everywhere, even the faint scent of her perfume lingers. I sigh and walk toward my bed, but that just makes things worse.

When I look at my bed all I can see is the way her hair spreads out on our pillows, the way she rolls toward me in her sleep, clinging onto me. I’ll never have her in my arms again.

I sit down on my bed and run a hand through my hair. I grab my phone against better judgment, a photo of Elena and me staring back at me. I’m pressing a kiss to her cheek and she’s smiling, her eyes twinkling with happiness.

I can’t do this. I sigh as I walk back out of my bedroom and down the stairs, needing a fucking drink. I can’t get her out of my damn mind. Everything reminds me of her. No matter where I look, there are traces of her everywhere. I see her kissing me in the lobby of my office, laughing with my family in the kitchen, smiling at me from our bed. She’s tainted every single space, continuously torturing me with the memory of her.

I pause in surprise when I find my grandfather standing by the entrance, keys in his hand. My mother and Lucian are both grinning excitedly as they put their coats on.

Their smiles melt off their faces as they see me approach, and I frown. “Where are the three of you going?”

Mom tenses, and Lucian looks away. Only my grandfather smiles leisurely. “Oh, nowhere,” he says. “We’re just going out for dinner. I’m retired now, after all. Plenty of time to kill.”

I frown at him. “Is there a specific reason you guys are going on a family outing without inviting me?”

The guilt on Lucian’s face tells me everything I need to know. They’re meeting Elena. I laugh mockingly. “She leaves me and takes my family with her. Fucking ridiculous.”

I walk past them, my shoulder slamming into Lucian’s angrily.

“Alexander,” my grandfather says.

I pause and turn to look at him.

“I told you, didn’t I? You let her go, you’ll regret it.”

Lucian nods. He hasn’t spoken a word to me since Elena left, and even my mother seems to be disappointed in me. I don’t know why the fuck they blame me when it’s Elena that walked out on me. On us.

I shake my head and walk out. I’m still seething by the time I pull up at Inferno. Another fucking place that’s tainted with the memory of her. My mood just sinks further as I walk up to the rooftop. My favorite spot is hers too.

I sigh as I sit back in the same spot I was in when Elena walked back into my life. I stare at the sky, remembering the way she looked at the stars, a smile on her face.

“Alexander.”

I look up in surprise, tensing.

“Jennifer.”

She smiles and sits down next to me, looking just as miserable as I probably do. I haven’t even thought of her in months. I haven’t wondered what losing Matthew would be like for her, how she’s been affected by everything Elena did. When did I stop caring about her? When did I start to put Elena’s needs before hers?

“Rumor has it that Elena left you.”

I frown. It’s only been a week. Has she been telling people? Is she going around telling people she’s single again?

I grit my teeth and Jennifer smiles. “You never used to get that upset about me, you know?” She shakes her head, her eyes on the skyline. “I’d spend hours with Matthew and all you ever did was ask me if something was going on. But Elena? I saw you two on the day you proposed to her. She was talking to some guy and even though it was clear that she wasn’t remotely interested in him, you lost it. You lost your composure.”

I look at her and smile mirthlessly. “I don’t like sharing my possessions. That’s all it was.”

“You’re in love with her,” she says, her smile bittersweet. “I always knew that what we had wasn’t real love, you know? I always knew you didn’t truly love me—you just convinced yourself that you did.”

She leans back in her seat, a sad smile on her face. “There’s no excuse for the way I cheated on you, Alexander. But knowing that you didn’t love me made it easier. It made it easier to give Matthew a chance.”

“What are you talking about? Of course, I loved you. Fuck, Jen. I gave you my heart on a silver platter and you fucking trampled on it.”

She shakes her head. “Alec, you loved the idea of me. You loved the idea of a woman that didn’t know who you were, that wasn’t familiar with your world. You enjoyed seeing the world through my eyes. It was new to you, and you thrived on it. But you never loved me.”

I laugh despite the anger I feel. “That’s bullshit.”

Jennifer smiles. “Is it? What’s Elena’s favorite color?”

“It’s red.”

“Favorite food?”

“Chocolate chip cookies.”

She smiles, her expression sad. “What about mine?”

I blink, drawing a blank.

She shakes her head. “You loved the idea of me, but you never even truly knew me. Nor did Matthew, for that matter—maybe that’ll make you feel a little better. He was just using me as a pawn against you. He was playing some sort of fucked up game that you aren’t even aware of.”

I frown, and she looks away.

“From what I gathered, he’s held a grudge against you for years. Ever since his first girlfriend left him for you. Ever since then he’s been fixated on taking away everything you have—business deals, your girlfriends, assets. If you set your eyes on it, he wanted it. I didn’t realize that until it was too late. I was just another conquest, another victory in the silent war he waged against you.”

“What the fuck?”

Jennifer laughs, her face tipped up at the sky. “What the fuck, indeed. What Elena did to him… it was a blessing in disguise. He was unhinged, and had she not done what she did, I’d have become that madman’s wife.”

Jennifer rises from her seat and smiles at me. “I know you have your reasons to stay away from love. I know what your family has been through—what your mother has been through. I know I played a role in making your trust issues worse yet. I know how hard it is for you to love. I know, Alexander, because throughout our entire relationship I did all I could to pierce the armor that surrounds your heart, and I failed. But Elena? She did it without even trying.”

She cups my cheek, her smile bittersweet. “I came here because one of my friends told me you were here. I want you back, Alexander. I realize how badly I fucked up, how well you treated me. I know what I lost.”

She leans into me, and I look into her eyes. She looks fragile, insecure. “I love you, Alexander. Despite everything I’ve done, everything I’ve put you through, I do truly love you,” she says, letting her hand drop to the side, tears gathering in her eyes. “So, I’ll do the right thing, despite what my heart desires. I want you to be happy, Alexander. Truly happy. The way you smiled when you were with Elena? I want that for you, and I know I can never give you that.”

She takes a step away from me, a single tear dropping down her cheek. “I haven’t been the best version of myself, Alec. This world… the world you operate in? It’s not for girls like me. I hate who I’ve become. I hate how Matthew changed me. But Elena? Elena belongs with you. She’s your equal in every way that matters, in every way that I couldn’t be. Alexander, you deserve to be happy, more so than anyone else I know. So please, go after that happiness before it’s too late. I lost my chance. Don’t lose yours.”

She smiles at me and walks away, her words reverberating in my mind long after she’s gone.