XLV. Not leaving

"Sacrificing somethings in life for other's happiness is not a big thing."

-------------------------------------------------

Burden and bad luck, I feel like I am bringing bad luck to every person in my life. I saw an example of what one-sided love can bring. I don't want to be the one suffering and cause others problems. I got only one solution for it, leaving them. I will start my journey without them; I know that I will be miserable without them. But for them to be safe and happy I must leave them.

"It is best for everyone if I leave this family, they suffered enough. I can't bring any more deaths into this family," I made my decision and no one will be able to convince me.

"Avni, you are old enough to take your own decisions," she stood and came towards me. "I have an advice for you, don't make decisions in haste, you may regret it later. Think about it thoroughly before deciding on it," she squeezed my hand and left me alone in that park alone with my thoughts.

I stood there alone with my thoughts, I knew that Anu was right her advice is always perfect. Now, I don't want to think further about my decision. I decided on what I am going to do next. I don't have any place in their lives they have already lost much because of me and my parents and I will be unable to see them suffer again.

"Ouch," A small body bumped into my legs bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked down and saw a set of blue eyes look back at me.

"Mama!" Diya exclaimed gleefully and hugged my legs tightly.

"Princess!" I pulled her up and took her in my embrace. I breathed in her scent. I missed her scent and it always provides me with comfort.

"Mwissed you mama. You didn't come in the mowning. I angwry at you," she pulled away from me and pouted in my direction. I looked behind her and found Raghav uncle standing there with a smile on his face, I gave him a smile of my own and returned towards my daughter.

"Are you angry at me?" I asked my daughter who was pouting at me.

"Yes, and dada too. He no see me, I angry at you two," she crossed her arms over her chest. I chuckled seeing her cute reaction.

"Aww, my baby is looking cute," I pinched her cheeks but she swatted my hand away with a huff.

This was new, she never did that to me. "I no cute, I angwry," she had a frown on her forehead. Even though I found her behavior cute, she should not be rude to elders. I took her with me and sat on the chair. I adjusted her in my lap.

"Uncle, sit here." I gestured towards the seat beside me. He removed the button on his blazer and sat beside me.

"I am sorry for not coming to you in the morning, princess. Mama had some work she will never do it. Okay," Diya nodded her head and started playing with my hand. She gently traced the bandages. "Your dada is hurt and he is taking sleep now, we will see him after some time, okay."

"Yes, mama." She replied distractedly. "Do it hurt?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I smiled seeing her reaction, her innocence and love towards me always amuse me.

"No, princess. It doesn't hurt," I replied and brushed her hair out of her face. "Princess, why did you push my hand away before?" I questioned her, as she tends to forget fast.

"I was angwry that you told me cute. I be serious," she explained to me. So, she wanted me to consider her words and not call her cute when she is angry. Damn, she is growing up. I don't want to miss these moments in her life.

"Who told you to do it, princess?" I asked her further.

"Grandpa." She mumbled distractedly.

"Rudra grandpa," she shook her head in negative and pointed beside me. I turned my head and found Raghav uncle shaking his head and trying to stop Diya from spilling his name. I glared in his direction before turning back to my daughter. I will deal with him later.

"Diya, it's a bad habit to push others away. Good girls and a princess doesn't do that. Ok," I tried to make her understand my point.

Diya being intelligent she understood everything easily. "Ok mama, can I go and play?" She pointed in the direction of some kids her age playing tag.

"Ok, but be careful," she got down from my lap and ran to them.

"They grow pretty fast don't they?" His question got me back.

"Yes, I will cherish the moments I have with her. She is growing way fast for my liking."

"How will you cherish those moments when you leave her?" His question brought tears to my eyes. I remembered what I was going to do, I am leaving her, for good. Then why did I keep promising myself that I will be there for her when I can't.

"I will leave her," my voice held the determination that my heart didn't have.

"No you can't," I whipped my head in his direction not believing the determination it held. "Even if you did, Diya will hate you. Can you handle her hatred towards you?" I knew the consequences, I have estimated them but hearing that Diya might hate me made me want to cry.

"I can convince her, she will understand me," my voice was weak to my ears.

"Ok, let's consider that she will understand you," I looked in his direction with hope listening to his words. "What about Abhi?" My hope died down listening to his words.

"What about him? I am leaving because of him," I spoke with confidence because I know that Abhi will not suffer he may be angry at me for leaving him but he will never hate me.

"You will be leaving him alone when he is at his weak moment. He needs you and your support most at this moment, but you will be leaving him to suffer alone. Will he not hate you?" I thought for a moment about his words.

He was right, I will be leaving him alone to suffer. He needs to take care of Diya and even improve his health. He will be suffering internally because of it. I can't see him suffer like that.

"Avni," I felt uncle squeezing my hand I looked in his direction. "You are taking a wrong decision. You are thinking wrong, those people opinions don't matter and there is no rule that what happened in their lives must happen in yours." I nodded my head.

"Ok uncle. I will not leave for Diya and Abhi. But when I feel like something bad will happen because of me, I will not be in their lives. I will leave without a warning," I informed him in a gentle voice.

"How come you know all my troubles and worries without me even informing you?" I asked him after sometime.

He laughed at me hearing to my question. "Why did you ask?" I shrugged my shoulders in reply. "I always know things, there are many things you don't know about me. I will reveal them in time," he gave me a confused answer. I opened my mouth to answer when Diya arrived.

"Mama!" Diya came rushing towards me. "Look mama, a puppy!" She lifted her hands and showed me a cute dog with white fur.

"Aww, it's so cute." I rubbed the puppy's back and it yipped happily jumping in my arms.

"Who is the good boy?" The puppy barked and wiggled its tail in excitement. Diya sat beside me and we both played with it for some time until the owner came and we returned the puppy.

"Shall we see your dad?" Diya nodded her head and we both stood up. Raghav uncle followed us. "You were telling me that you will leave your heaven and be alone," I ignored his words and reached the hospital with Diya holding my hand.

Yes, uncle was right. I was living in my own heaven, but I also know that this heaven can turn into my personal hell and I can't let that happen.

We reached Abhi's floor and found papa and Meera ma waiting outside. Meera ma was hugging papa and was crying on his shoulder softly. Akky and Nihal stood in one corner. Anu was sitting on another chair consoling Kalyani dadi. I guess Anu informed everyone, she relieved me from telling others. I didn't have any idea what to tell them.

Meera ma was the first one to see me. She rushed to my side and hugged me. "Are you fine?" I nodded my head in positive but she went and checked me for any wounds. She gently traced the bandages and started sobbing loudly.

"Ma, I am fine. These are small wounds," I consoled her taking her in my arms.

"No Avni. I am sorry for not believing you earlier," she apologized after her crying receded.

"It's not your fault," I replied in a soft voice. "It's not anyone's fault, don't blame yourselves," I looked at the others.

"No Avni, it's my fault," papa came towards me and folded his hands in an apology. "Please forgive me for not protecting your parents and thank you for saving my family," I placed his hands down.

"Papa, you are my family and in a family, people don't thank others. You also suffered because of her no one is at fault here." I tried to convince him.

"He woke up!" We turned in the direction of the voice and found a nurse outside Abhi's room. "The patient woke up and you can see him after five minutes," I was ecstatic hearing the news. I heard other mumble thanks to god as we took a breath of relief. I hugged my daughter with all my might.

After five minutes we were given a green signal to go inside. Papa and ma went inside, they came back after some time with smiles on their faces. Anu and Kalyani dadi went inside next after them Akky went inside taking Diya with her.

"Anu, take others home with you. Nihal will drop you. I will stay here." My voice was strict and there was no room for argument. They nodded their heads and went home telling me that they will come back the next day.

I went inside and found him talking with Diya. She was narrating an incident and he was listening attentively asking some questions in between. My eyes watered seeing him awake, this day has been rough, and seeing him like this made me want to share everything with him.

"Diya, shall we go out and have some dinner?"

"Yes, I hungry," Akky took Diya out squeezing my shoulders and providing me warmth.

I stood near the foot of the bed staring at him not wanting to approach him. I don't know how I will react once I reach him.

"Are you going to stand there? Or are you coming near me any time sooner?" I rushed towards him and hugged him tightly.

"You bastard! You promised!" I said in between my sobs. "You-you promised not to-to leave," he rubbed my back providing me warmth. "I-i told you not to go, why didn't you listen?" My voice changed from shouting to whimpers. I don't want to see him in bed again.

"How would I know that someone wanted me to die?" I looked up at him. He had a simple smile on his face.

"If you listened to me this wouldn't have happened. Why didn't you listen to me?" I questioned him. I wanted to know the reason.

The smile on his face vanished listening to me. He became serious. "Tell me what happened first?" I started narrating each and everything leaving Aarav's part. I don't want to reveal the truth about him without speaking to him first.

He was quiet and didn't speak anything. "Abhi say something," I begged him unable to bear the silence anymore.

He opened his mouth to answer but the nurse interrupted us.

"Sorry sir, but it's time for you to go to sleep," the nurse adjusted the bed so that Abhi can sleep peacefully.

"Ma'am, you need to step out. You aren't allowed to sleep here," the nurse requested me.

"I will just sit on the chair. I will not disturb him and be quite." I tried to beg her.

"But-," Abhi stopped her from speaking further.

"I will convince her, can you step out." Abhi requested the nurse, she nodded her head and went out.

"No, I am not going to listen to you. I will spend my night here and no arguments there," I ordered him but Abhi went on trying to convince me.

"Angel, you are tired. You need a good sleep and even me. If you spend your night here, I will worry about you and we both can't have a good day sleep," he has a valid point there and I do feel tired and want to have a peaceful sleep after a good bath. Bit Abhi will come first, so I can't leave him alone here.

"You need to eat also. Diya will need you today. She was terrified that we both left her. So, please go home for Diya," he begged me giving me puppy eyes.

"Fine, I will go." I agreed to him after thinking a bit. "But, James will be outside guarding you and you will call me the moment you need me. I will come in the morning before you wake up. Okay," he nodded his head in agreement.

"Good night," I pulled the blanket over his body and kissed his cheeks before leaving the room.

Outside, the room Raghav uncle was speaking with James. "James, I want you outside his door till I come. Don't move away and keep checking on him," I ordered him.

"Yes, ma'am."

Raghav uncle and I left the hospital. "Uncle, where is Diya?" I questioned him once we stepped out.

"Akky and her are having dinner, shall we go there?" I nodded my head agreeing to him. I was hungry and need food.

Uncle cleared his throat as we stopped near the restaurant. "Aarav will be there, can you face him?"

I thought about it. Yes, it will be difficult for me to face him or speak with him. Also, I can't leave him alone to suffer the loss of his parents.

"Yes, uncle. I am ready." I will meet him and will think of a way to tell him the truth. I want to close the previous chapter in my life and start a new chapter full of happy memories.

Hello people!

Here is your update! How is it?

I really was not into it, I guess I want to end this story fast. So, this book may end in two weeks.

I have a surprise for you guys, do check my profile after reading it. I publishes chracters for the next book I am going to start after the present one is done.

See ya guys.

Bye 💕💕

Vote. Comment. Share.