Chapter 35- Surprise, surprise

^^ Ma baby! xD ^^

"When I close my eyes I see you. When I open my eyes I miss you."

Chapter 35

River's POV

Madeline.

A name so familiar. A name spoken infrequently in my house, uttered only under my father's drunken breath on my birthday when I'd find him passed out on the couch, bourbon in hand. Though I was forbidden to. After all, I didn't have the right to utter such a name.

The unspoken name swirled frequently in my mind growing up; I would always close my eyes at night, trying to picture her smiling face in the darkness of my small room. The one picture I had of her laid tucked away, hidden under my mattress, only pulled out at the dead of night to peer at briefly before my vision would blur under the stream of tears that would surface their way up. That picture. The only one I could find in my house of her. Eyes dark, hair thin, face...blank. She was the very vision of death itself; a thought that would cause heaps of whimpers to roll off my tongue every night as I'd bury myself beneath my stained sheets.

I'd done that to her.

Though here, she appeared so happy. So blissful. So different that I'd nearly been unable to recognize her but it was there. She was there.

My mother.

Though as soon as the epiphany hit me the confusion set in. Why did Parish have a picture of my mother?

I turned to him, watching as he peered up at the painting, a small hint of a smile turning his face up.

"How do you know her?"

He turned to peer at me, "I told you. She was my companion."

Companion...?

"So you guys like...traveled together?" I tried making sense of his words.

He raised a brow, "I guess you can say that," he peered back at the painting, "we grew up together. Both thrown away by our parents like heaps of garbage. Or should I say all three of us..." he trailed off.

Three?

"Though," he continued, a smirk growing on his face, "we showed them."

How could he have grown up with my mother if he is as old as he claims to be?

"Is she as...old as you?" I struggled.

He let out a small laugh, "God, you make me sound ancient. No, I met her in my previous form. You see, I live the same lifespan as one normally does. The only difference is I return each time."

"Like reincarnation?" So his body actually is ten.

"Hmm," he scratched his chin, "similar. Except I return in the same form each time. Like reliving the same life over and over again."

"So you have the same body each time?"

He nodded.

My head spun with multiple questions but there was one comment he had just made that stuck out the most, "you mentioned having parents..."

"Well, I don't grow from the ground," he let out a small laugh, "just because I return in the same form doesn't mean I just magically appear. I'm born just like any other is. Though my last weren't all that great. Not that I really had any time to get to know them...abandoned me the moment I was pulled from my mother's spread legs," he scoffed.

"You remember...?"

Most people don't remember things that far back.

"I was aware. I'm always aware, no matter the age of my form. I'm still the same here," he pointed to his head.

"Just like now?"

"Yes, my body may be that of a ten-year-old but I'm not."

"So you're like aware...even in the womb? When does it start? Your awareness I mean." I asked.

He pulled his eyes away from the painting, "hmm...I tend to sleep through most of it. I usually become...aware as you called it, when I'm actually pulled out. Though I try not to reminisce most of it," he wrapped his arms around himself, appearing quite queasy, "not the best memories."

I nodded, not pushing any farther at the topic.

"What..." I swallowed, "...what was she like?" I hoped he didn't catch the timidness in my voice, but he didn't seem to as he smiled.

"Everything," he breathed, "she was the most compassionate person in the entire orphanage. Whenever anyone needed help or a shoulder to cry on...they all knew to go to her. She cared so much...for everything and anything," he laughed softly, "she brought a smile to everyone she would come in contact with. She just had the most contagious smile," his voice cracked slightly, "she had this way of making even the most insignificant of people feel so special."

He stopped for a moment, brows pulling together, "why are you crying, little wolf?"

My eyes widened.

Am I crying?

My fingers rose to my cheeks, brushing lightly under my eyes and sure enough, on top my fingertips, was a salty liquid that one could only distinguish as tears. I blinked, shuddering slightly under the burning of my retinas. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"I-I don't know," I choked.

Stop crying. Stop crying.

My eyes seemed to have minds of their own as traitorous tears ran down my face. I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around my back as a small form pressed against my chest. All I could hear through my fit of historia was my own choked sobs and a low cooing in my ears as Parish ran his hand up and down my back in a soothing manner. I finally began to feel myself relax as I let out small sniffles, feeling as Parish's hand slowed on my back. It must have been quite a comical view; a little boy calming a weeping teen.

"Better now?" He whispered softly.

I nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He pulled from my chest, peering up at me.

Did I?

I did. I wanted someone to hold me in their arms. To tell me everything was okay. But there was only one person I really wanted comfort from at the moment. Only one person I wanted to hold me. I visualized the small hands on my back as the big, warm ones I had come to love. The tender voice that would whisper sweet nothings in my ears.

'I love you, my River.' Alastair's soft voice range through my mind.

I felt like I was choking, choking on my own tears as I cupped my mouth and fell to my knees, shaking like a newborn fawn.

It hurt. It hurt so much. My heart pounded in my chest, legs shaking as I cupped my face.

"River?" Parish's voice rang above me. He sounded frightened, voice tight.

I couldn't look up, my head tightly held as I felt myself breaking, falling apart. Piece by piece.

Make it end. Make it end. I want...I need him. Alastair. Alastair.

I choked on another sob as his name rang through my head. I couldn't stop the images from flooding my head. Pictures, memories of our time together. Happy and sad, both equal in my mind at the moment. I couldn't do this. Being so far from his was literally tearing me apart from the inside out.

I took a ragged breath, hands pulling slowly from my face. I rested them on my knees, still slightly shaking as I peered down at my feet, eyes clouded, mind racing.

Dirt and grime stuck to my toes and it was then I realized I had been pulled from the room barefoot.

How had I not realized?

"River, you're starting to actually scare me. What the hell is going on in your head?" Parish bent down to face me, brows pulled together as he watched me. As if afraid I may cry again.

I might.

I sniffed. Would pulling the pity card help me? It was worth a shot.

"I-I..." I choked, "...miss my mate," Parish raised a brow at that.

"You have a mate?" Why did he sound so surprised?

I nodded, "he's probably looking for me," I wiped at my nose, watching his face but it remained neutral, "I'm afraid..." I stopped. I couldn't say that.

"Afraid..." he urged.

I took a shaky breath, "I'm afraid he may not find me," I whispered the end, slightly afraid of how he'd react.

I squeezed my eyes shut, resting my head on my bent knees. Perhaps it was stupid of me to have mentioned my hope for escape to my capturer. No, it absolutely was. But through all his soft words I had grown too comfortable, confessing what I shouldn't have. Now I was afraid, afraid of how he'd react. Perhaps he'd throw me in a dungeon, now that I had made it apparent that I wanted to escape.

I shivered at the thought. Being pulled, thrown into a small, dark room. Being chained to a mold covered wall, being unable to move. Trapped.

No. Not again.

Visuals of my time in slavery filled my mind. My body trembled, remembering what that had felt like. How it felt to be starved. To be chained to a wall like a wild animal. It was not a memory I wanted to relive. Ever.

"Get up, little wolf."

I stood up in haste, head slightly spinning as I peered at him. He didn't look upset, but neither did he appear happy.

I stood, awaiting the pain that was sure to come.

He sucked in a breath, letting out a small laugh, "this conversation got far too emotional far too quickly and I'm far too hungry to have a heart to heart right now."

Oh.

I wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

He peered at me briefly before walking out. I blinked momentarily before rushing after him.

...What?

I ran after him, huffing and puffing from my lack of stamina, finally catching up to him before he could get too far. I watched his back, trailing behind him.

Did he not want me around him anymore?

It wasn't like there was anywhere for me to go if he truly did want me to go away. I honestly had no idea where I was. I came to the conclusion that I was in a cave of some sort a while ago, but that was only because I had no idea where else I could be. Thick fangs of rock hung from above me, cold air sweeping by my shoulder as I watched more men run past me. I wondered if it was always this chaotic. Men running in all directions, all carrying bundles of unknown objects as they shouted orders at one another.

Men. No women. Strange.

It was then I remembered.

Anna.

I stopped in my tracks. I was selfish, despicable, I couldn't stand myself. How could I have forgotten about her? Though I knew why, because there was only one person that consumed my every thoughts. No one else mattered as much as him.

Disgusting.

She was hurt horribly because of me and I repaid her with nothing but betrayal. How could I have forgotten?

I looked at Parish's form walking farther and farther away. I didn't know what to do. Follow after him when he clearly didn't want my presence at the moment or stop one of those hasty men for directions to the woman's healing center.

My gut took over as I turned to a hasty brunet, "excuse me," I called, standing in his view to stop him in his tracks.

His brows pulled together, stopping in his tracks as not to ram into me as I spread my arms out, "yes?" His voice harsh in annoyance.

"Do you know where the woman's healing center is?" I attempted to upper my voice an octave.

I could pull off being a woman. It's not as if I weren't mistaken as one enough.

He took a long, exasperated sigh, "lady, I don't know what you're doing in the men's quarters. You passed it way down." He made a show of flailing his arm towards a dark pathway on my right.

I nodded, peering down the way he pointed, "Thank you."

He nodded and continued on his way.

I followed the path he pointed and I came upon a small hut upon a rocky hill. Candle light shone through the open windows, showing a group of women passing by with white cloths in hand. I took a breath, carefully climbing the large rocks with small, cautious movements.

I got this. I got this.

I felt my foot get caught between two rocks. I latched onto a nearby rock just as I felt my foot slip. I dangled, peering down at the small rocks beneath my feet move, some falling down the rocky hill with a hushed thump.

I don't got this. I don't got this.

My heart beat practically out my chest as I attempted to lift myself up with my arms. I struggled, swinging my feet in an attempt of gaining momentum but to no avail I remained in the same place, huffing and puffing away. I let out a frustrated whine at my lack of strength. Just as I did so, I heard the door creak open, a red-headed woman's face peeked out, widening considerably as she took in my flailing form.

"Martha!" She yelled behind her.

Another appeared behind her as the yelling girl pointed in my direction. Her eyes widened as well as she hurried out, ushering the other girl behind her as they both pulled me up from the jagged rock. I whimpered slightly as my leg scraped against a rock as they set me on my knees.

"Are you okay?" The redhead questioned, her voice raising as she looked me up and down, trying to find any signs of a wound.

"Yes," I managed as I bit my lip.

"Let me see," the darker haired girl pushed the redhead out of the way as her eyes locked on my knee. "Ah, we'll put some cream on that. Come." She got up, reaching a hand to me and pulling me up as she ushered me inside. She sat me down and took out a wooden box of equipment.

I remained silent, allowing her to clean my knee as I peered around. Hoping to catch sight of Anna, but none of the women seemed to even slightly resemble her.

"Looking for someone?" The redhead asked as the darker haired of the two finished bandaging me.

"Ah, yes. I was told my friend is staying here." I kept my voice at a higher octave.

"Your friend, huh?" The darker haired girl spoke, "is she a helper? Cleaner? Cook? Healer?"

"Umm, a patient."

"Do you remember what her injuries were? That's usually how we distinguish patients here." The redhead spoke.

"I-I don't k-know," I swallowed, "I-I heard a crack and then she was on the floor and..." I shivered.

"Hmm, a crack? A broken bone..." The dark haired girl spoke, "come, we keep broken-boned patients in a separate room." She waved her hand at me to follow before she turned toward the redheaded girl, "I'll help her. Go help Betsy in the kitchen."

The girl nodded and set off in the opposite direction. I followed after the other as she led me past candle lit rooms, each containing at least ten girls in each. All were placed on white mats, whimpering as women with one clothes dabbed at their foreheads. I turned my head as I paled. I had never been in a hospital room before and being surrounded by all the strange herbal scents and pain-filled grunts of the patients was starting to make my head spin.

The woman pushed past a stained tapestry as she led me into another room. It was no different than the others. Same strange smell and pain-filled eyes.

"Do you recognize any as your friend?" She asked.

I peered around, eyes lighting up as I locked on a familiar head of dark curls sitting on a white mat.

"Anna!" I squeaked as I rushed across the room.

She jumped slightly as she turned in my direction, "River?" she breathed as her eyes locked with mine.

I wrapped my arms around her as I began tearing up, "Oh Goddess, Anna," I sniffed, "I was so afraid. So so afraid. I thought..." I choked.

"Shh," she cooed, pushing my hair from my tear-stained face, "where have you been?" she bent down to whisper in my ear, "where are we...?"

I rubbed at my eyes as I bent down to sit next to her on the small, white mat, "do you remember the small boy from the alley way?"

She nodded.

"He took me to his room-"

Her eyes widened, "he raped you?" She whisper-yelled.

"No!" Everyone in the room turned in my direction with raised brows. I cleared my throat, lowering my volume, "no, we just slept. There was a blond man that was there too. I think..." I stopped for a second, "I think they may be together."

"The little boy with a grown man?" She gasped as her mouth widened in shock.

"I mean, they didn't do anything but...I just felt it. The way they looked at one another."

"A grown man with a boy so young?" She shook her head in distraught, "disgusting," she hissed and made a show of scrunching her nose up.

"Well, he's not really ten," I tried to explain as she raised a brow, "I mean, his body is but he claims he's much older." I widened my arms.

"Really now?" she scoffed.

I couldn't blame her for not believing me. I didn't believe it either at first. Even now, I was still trying to rationalize his words.

"Excuse me," I turned to the dark haired girl from before, "but I'm afraid you're going to have to leave the room soon. We're going to be serving breakfast in a half an hour and we prefer for patients and visitors to eat in separate rooms. For sanitary reasons."

I nodded, "do you need any help in the kitchen?"

Her brows pulled up in surprise, "are you offering to help?"

I laughed, "if that's alright."

"Of course it is!" She raised her arms in excitement, "oh, Betsy will be so excited to have more helping hands in there. The kitchen is always so crazy before mealtime. Not enough help, y'know?"

I nodded, but I didn't. I waved at Anna as I was dragged from the room.

"Oof!" I peered up wide-eyed as I was pushed into a small room, women stood around stoves, clothes specked with food and sauces.

"Betsy, I've got you another helper!" The dark haired girl yelled. I was almost tempted to cover my ears, but that would have been rude.

I short, white-haired women peeked out from one of the stoves, a widened smile stretching her wrinkled face as she took me in, "Oh, thank the Goddess!"

I laughed at that.

"We need help the soup. Do you know how to make vegetable soup?"

I nodded.

"Great!" She exclaimed as she ushered me in front of a stove, placing a pot and ladle in front of me, "you're a doll! The vegetables and spices are in the cabinets on top of you. Make sure it's a big enough serving for ten, you'll be cooking for the bone room." With that, she patted me on the back and scurried back to what she was doing.

I blinked, peering down at the large pot.

Well, nice to meet you too. I suppose.

I opened up the cabinet and peered through the vegetables, taking what I needed and skimming through the unfamiliar spices.

I took and deep breath and went to work. I lit the fire and began boiling up the water as I began cutting up the vegetables into thin slices. I poured some of the spices into the water as it boiled, dropping in some vegetables as well as I began peeling some potatoes. I felt a small smile begin to paint across my face as I was immediately engulfed in a wave of sweet spices and cooking vegetables.

Aah, how I missed this. The smells...the experimenting.

Perhaps I should try cooking for Alastair. It may not be as good as his cooks' food but...

I felt a wave of pain rush through my chest. I hissed, hands clenching against my shirt. I took shallow breaths as I continued cutting and slicing.

You will see him again. You will see him again.

I wiped at my eyes, sniffling slightly as I took a sip of the soup. I hummed appreciatively.

"Dinner time!" A woman screamed, women began rushing out of the room, food in hand.

I peered down at my pot. There was no way I was going to be able to carry that out alone.

"Do you need help?" A voice called behind me, I turned and gasped almost falling to the floor as my eyes locked on a familiar dirty blond.

"Alice?" I breathed.