27

SOLEIL

The timer on the phone goes off but I'm not yet done with my paper. I ran out of time and didn't get to the last two.

"Swap?" Charlondra asks.

I hand her my paper and take hers in turn. With the marking memo between us, I compare her answers to the sheet and she's correct on every single one.

"Why didn't you finish?"

"Huh?"

"The paper. There're questions you've skipped."

"I ran out of time with the last two," I mutter a bit disappointed.

"You skipped a couple on pages three and four," she adds, flipping to the pages that have big red question marks where answers should be.

"What?" I grab the paper and look through the pages.

Damn. I'm really off my game today. I'm probably just exhausted and need to catch some Z's.

"You've been distracted lately. Is it the MD, Brice or both?"

I give her the side eye and she merely shrugs.

"What? Must I lie to you? If I don't call you out, then who will?"

I exhale feeling the tension riding my body.

"You're right I have a lot on my mind."

"If the tutoring is taking up too much of your time I suggest you drop it. It's not like he'll fail to get into a good university. They still prioritise money and legacy over brilliance otherwise financial exclusion wouldn't be a thing. Do you even know what he's applying for?"

"No, I never asked."

Thinking back on it, I was so focused on trying to do my job and not get distracted. That went out the window when he started touching and kissing me.

I hear his voice echo in my mind.

Even if you begged, I wouldn't fuck you Soleil.

I mean am I only good enough for every other base except the home run?

I brush my hand down my face and cringe thinking back to how desperate I must have looked grinding myself on him that morning.

"You're not strapped for cash are you?"

"Huh?"

I'm an incoherent mess barely able to keep up a convo with my bestie.

"The money he's paying you.... If you're in need I got you. No need to stress by prostituting the hours you could be spending on bettering yourself. That Matric certificate only has your name, subjects, and grades. You're entire schooling career condensed on one page.  I know as women we're taught to be selfless and nurturing, but now is the time to be selfish."

She has a point. I don't even think he needs my help. He's a king.

And a jackass, my subconscious retorts.

Even if he failed he would be better off than 99% of people on the planet.

"You know what? You're right. I need to be selfish." I hand back her paper. "It wasn't about the money. I guess I just wanted to be close to him and the whole arrangement gave me an excuse."

I chance a glance at Char who seems to be mulling it over as she nods her head in understanding.

"So what's your excuse now?"

"I don't have any. You know what, I'm just going to continue emailing him my notes," I decide.

And I'm going to keep my distance.

But what if he pays me one of his unexpected visits? He hasn't been back since that fateful night and for some reason I've been finding it hard to fall asleep expecting him to show up.

"Char, can I sleep over?"

"Here?"

"Yes."

"In this bed?"

"Yes, where else would I sleep?"

"I was just checking you meant here not my house. You're welcome to sleep on the floor if you like."

"Why would I sleep on the floor?!"

"Remember when you came over for the mid year holidays and made us sleep on the floor with pillows and stuff?"

"Because we were watching horrors Char and I was trying to build a pillow fort with all those cushions from the sofas."

"Right, forgot that part. Must have been the discomfort that gave me amnesia. Let me go talk to the matron of the house. They'll be expecting you to sign out soon."

"Thanks."

My phone starts ringing. I see Aunt Michelle's caller ID flashing across the screen.

"Hey Aunty!"

"My baby! I'm so excited to see you. Just finishing up a bit of paperwork before I go on leave. Otherwise how are you doing?"

"I'm good," I reply

"Hows are the exams and preparations for the dance coming along?"

"Exams have me tired. I'm over it. Can you believe I had a test run on a past paper and didn't finish."

"I actually can. These things do happen. You're bright but your still human. No need to beat yourself up about it. Did you at least get a passing mark."

"Yeah, I scored 85%."

"Come again?"

"I know it's not my best-"

"Soleil Spellman. I love that you have set a high standard for yourself but don't let what's missing distract you from appreciating what you got. That's a distinction. Whats really bothering you?"

"What do you mean?"

"We may not live together anymore but I know you, and I remember the little girl who'd obsess over organising and cleaning in order to distract herself from her feelings. What are you feeling honey?"

Knowing I can't talk to Char about this kind of thing especially when she's told me to drop Brice, I open up to Michelle.

"Confused. I liked this guy and I thought he liked me too until he said something that just let me know that whatever we have is limited."

"And what is it you have with this guy?"

The real story is so absurd and beyond the conventions of the natural world that I decide to forgo it.

"It's complicated."

"I'm sorry to say this but, he's just not that into you."

"What do you mean?"

"Is he a nervous kind of character? Does he come across as shy or uncertain when you interact?"

I scoff thinking of how Brice is the complete opposite. Confident and sure of himself and his place in the world.

"No, he's the opposite actually - sporty and popular. Cool, calm, and collected."

But that temper when he's provoked is another story.

I hear her sigh on the other end. "I'm sorry to break it to you baby girl but he's just not that into you."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

I would agree but I can't get over the punch to my gut that phrase stirs within me.

"I work in a male dominated field and one thing I find is that men are quite decisive. Even when they play the field, they're still the ones that propose. I can't tell you how many players from the office who've gotten married said they knew when they'd found the one.

"Guys say what they mean and mean what they say unless their words and actions don't align. The only thing that makes them backtrack is the reaction they elicit. So if he said something and his actions back it up then he meant it." She pauses for a beat as I chew on her words. "We're not talking about your MD date are we? Did he drop you!?"

"No! I'm still going with Mark. He's been great so far even at the rehearsals we're being forced to attend."

I think back to what a sport Mark was this past Saturday when I kept stepping on his toes because I was distracted with thoughts of Merovech."

"Fantastic! Can't wait to meet him. Which reminds me, send pics of the shoes you want. I'm going shopping this weekend."

"What's the budget?"

"There is none. Love you! My boss is on my ass. Bye."

I smile to myself feeling a lot better. Trust Aunt Michelle to put things back into perspective with a pair of Louboutins to help the medicine go down.

***

I pack a small bag with the books I'll need for tonight as well as my pj's which has been my routine this past week. I'm heading over to Char's dorm. Surprisingly, I've gotten my sleep back but that's probably thanks to the fact that we end off the night with a few rounds of MK.

She somehow managed to convince the Matron at Hawk House to let me stay over because of our late night sessions and good academic standing. I hit the lights and open the door to leave only to have it slammed shut with force.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I'm momentarily shocked until my mind registers his voice. I've successfully avoided Brice this past week and thought it would be smooth sailing with the last week of exams around the corner.

No such luck.

"I'm heading over to Hawk House." I try open the door only for it to shut in my face again.

The heat his body emits warms my back. His breath whispers at the nape of my neck as he presses into me.

"You've been avoiding me."

He's just not that into you, I hear Aunt Michelle say.

Not wanting to be drawn back into his stupid mind games, I extricate myself from the precarious position he has me in.

"As surprising as it may sound, not everything is about you. I have my own studies to attend plus I've been sending you my notes. You didn't respond to my emails with any questions or queries so I assumed you found them helpful."

"I was busy. I had a few things to sort out that kept me away. And yes, the notes were quite convenient. But I'm back now and I'd like to continue our in person sessions."

I ignore the questions and retorts that well up within me choosing to focus on the task at hand.

"Alright. Where are your books?"

"I didn't bring them."

I fold my arms and glare at him. I've been conditioning myself to associate those grey eyes of his with wet cement and his dark hair with tar. I think it's working.

"Do you even need my help or do you just enjoy wasting my time?"

"As much as I enjoy wasting my money."

I roll my eyes thinking he probably has money to burn. I plop myself in front of the PC pulling up the timetable. There's only Math Paper 2 left so I decide to be a trooper and persevere.

"Do you want to go over a particular section or would you rather a practice run on a past paper?"

"The latter."

I print out a past paper and take out a notepad from my bag. I staple the pages and place them on the desk.

It's a little after 7PM and we should be done by 10PM which still gives me enough time to get to Char's before curfew.

I'm grateful for small mercies when he sits down and picks up a pen flipping the page. He appears ready to work. I set the timer and get comfortable on my bed texting Char that I'll be late.

My phone pings with a message from Mark.

Busy?

Not really.

A few seconds later my phone is ringing on Facetime.

I get up not wanting to be a distraction and let myself out to take the call in the hall.

"Hey, how you doing?" I ask, walking down the hallway.

"I'm over it. I'm over school. My brain is melting. Send help."

I laugh sharing the same sentiment.

"We're almost there."

"Yesss! And best believe I'm counting down the days. By the way, I called to find out what your plans are for the after party."

"There's an after party?"

"Of course there's an after party. We've organised one as a grade at club Coco. Can you believe they'll only be serving wine at the cocktail party which is reserved for the parents. There're not even giving us a bottle for the table while we have our dinner."

"How do you know this?"

"I'm Jewish so I asked for the menu to ensure it was Kosher."

I laugh again. I swear being Jewish is either Mark's answer or excuse.

"Is wine Kosher though?"

"The blood of the grape is Kosher, Doll, but it's not Halaal. You must have gotten Abraham's sons mixed up."

"Alright Rabboni. Other than the lack of alcohol what's up or did you call to vent about Milton while you still can?"

"I'll get back to you on any other grievances but I specifically called to ask if I should book a hotel for two. We're planning to get wasted and that is no condition to go home in."

"True! But I don't know if my gran will agree to that. I may be 18 but in her eyes, I'm her baby's baby."

"I got you. Just ask gogo and when I come to pick you up my mom will be there to add her support as back up."

"Does your mother know her son stays scheming?"

"She knows I ride for my niggas and I'm not leaving you behind. I promise it will be a night you won't forget. Just ask and I'll sort out the rest."

"Alright, alright. I'll ask."

"Shot. Let me know what she says."

"Will do. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams, Dollface."

I end the call and head back to my room. I don't bother to look up from my phone despite feeling his gaze trailing me as I recline back in bed.

"Sweet dreams, Dollface," he sneers at me.

"Has no one ever told you that eavesdropping is rude?"

"Are you planning on spending the night with him?"

I make note of super hearing as one of the many abilities Brice possesses.

"Are you done?" I switch apps to check the timer. It's barely been 30 minutes. "I'll take that as a no. I still have to drop off some work at Hawk House before curfew so I'd appreciate it if you'd hurry up."

"Is that where you've been sleeping?"

"This is my dorm. I sleep here."

"That's not what I asked."

I turn around to lie on my stomach, effectively dismissing him. I'm done with this conversation.

03 | 07 | 2023 | 23:17

WC: 2 305

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Dedicating this chapter to Cherrrrrra and YourFavouritePiece for being one of the first readers. Godspeed with them academics yo 😫