Chapter fifty nine

Naomi sighed in relief when she walked out of the woods to see her cottage. She had been walking for hours and she even thought a number of times that she was lost but she had to keep pushing and finally, here it was, she was home. Her tears came pouring down once more and she felt this energy to start running. She was happy when she got to the front door and saw it locked, meaning her father wasn’t around. She reached for the key under the mat where they usually kept it and unlocked the door. Now in the safe space of her home, she slumped on the floor and broke down in tears.

Her heart felt like it was constricting and she grabbed her chest, wanting to pull it away and free herself from the heart wrenching pain. How could it have ended like this? She had left the day before with hope and joy, believing that Asher was her mate and she would be introduced to werewolf and vampire world as his, and if possible, never return to this shithole of a town again and yet, here she was, bawling her eyes out. It didn’t help that Asher never even came to her to explain things. She thought Irene said the mating mark would make him feel whenever she needs him but she had been longing for him since last night, she didn’t even care if he had two fated mates and she was not the one, as long as he still wanted to see her, she would have stayed. But he never came to her, not even to explain.

And even though she cried throughout last night, the mark didn’t even pull him to her. Leaving her wondering if the mark has become void with the finding of his real mates? It could be, after all, she wasn’t his mate to begin what, he only accidentally marked her. She would have kept waiting for him to come to her, to explain everything to her and tell her what his view with everything was. She knows he will never reject his mates for her, he once told her it was his wish to find his mate and she could still remember the day she asked him if he could reject his mate and what his answer was. She wasn’t expecting him to reject them, she will never ask that of him but they had come to her this morning, they had come in through the window and had told her to run and that Asher would never belong to her.

They had told her that while she was crying in the room, he had been with them. They made her understand that she could never compete with them, his fated mates. And Anita’s words had flashed in her mind, and how finding their fated mates was like finding a soulmate and she knew she can never have Asher’s heart, not while he has them and so without thinking, immediately they left, she had grabbed a notepad and pen and had scribbled whatever came in her mind, especially to tell Asher how it was okay and that they don’t have to see each other anymore. She would rather part with him while remembering how it feels to have him smile at her than to have him come and tell her that it was over and also remind her what he had said about not rejecting his mate for anymore.

In as much as it broke her heart to part with him like that, she knows it was the best for her. She feared she might go on her knees and beg him not to leave her if she should see him, so her leaving was the best. Moreover, since he didn’t feel her calling for him all through the night, it only shows that he has already forgotten her. And right now, the best would be to forget him as well, even though she knew that would be impossible. She laid on the floor and cried so heartbreakingly till she fell asleep.

Asher materialized in the room then and watched her with his eyes red with tears. He had been feeling her emotional pain so much that he couldn’t stay away any longer and had to appear to check on her only to find out that she had already fallen asleep. He clutched onto her note so tightly, he still couldn’t bring himself to read it and after hearing her even breathing, he approached her and sat in front of her. He can’t just understand why he was feeling so much pain seeing her like that. Even though she was his mate, she was only chosen and which means he could easily let her go, but still…still.

He reached out and caressed her cheeks, wiping away the tear that rolled out of her lashes. Even in her sleep, she was still crying, just how broken could she be? He knew she was attracted to him, she never tried to hide it and it was because of her emotion and the urge to make her happy that drove him close to her that night, along with his own hidden desires. But he just didn’t know she cared so much for him to this extent. He could still remember how the mating mark had pulled him to her last night and he had to fight himself not to go to her because everything wasn’t making sense and it would feel bad if he goes to her with his fated mates in the same palace. Although he hasn’t marked them, the bond was already there and his morality couldn’t let him do that to them because at the moment, as long as Naomi wears his mark, he would never deny her of anything. It was also the reason he waited until she fell asleep before he appeared now.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m selfish. I can’t keep you and yet I can’t let you go. I’m really sorry at how selfish I am. Can you forgive me?” he whispered, his fingers caressing her sticky cheeks.

“Asher,” Naomi mumbled, “Asher,” she repeated a little clearly now and he froze, wondering if she had woken up but her breathing was still even and he realized she was talking in her sleep. He found himself wondering what she was dreaming about, if she was with him in her dream and what unethical things he might be saying to her now. He could still remember the things she said he had told her in her dream and he found himself wishing he could strangle her dream him for saying such things to her. “Don’t let me go,” she whispered and his hand on her cheek stilled once more, “can you reject them for me, please? I promise to love you more than they ever could, I don’t need the mating bond to do so. Can you reject them, please?” another tear rolled out of her lashes and he wiped it away. “I love you,” she whispered.

Asher sighed and closed his eyes, breathing through the mouth because his nose felt stuffy. He opened his eyes to see another line of tear draw across her nose and wiped it off once more. “I’m sorry, Naomi, I can’t. They are my fated, I can’t reject them,” he caressed her long black hair, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t you love me?” she whispered and he could only stare at her. There was that question again and he still couldn’t bring himself to answer. He doesn’t really know if he does. However, even if he does now, does it matter? He still can’t be with her. And once he marks his fated, he may forget whatever love he has for her and if he rejects her, then every connection is gone. Love doesn’t really matter in his world, mating bond does and that’s one thing he cannot share with her because if she doesn’t mark him, their bond will never be complete.

“Does it matter?” he answered to her question and watched as another tear escaped her lashes. This time, he leaned over and kissed it away. “I’m so sorry, Naomi, I should have stayed away from you from the beginning. I really should. Please forgive me that I will only be doing that now when you are already invested. Hopefully, when the mating mark is gone, you would forget the feelings you have for me.”

Heaving a deep sigh, he got up from the floor and carried her up, he couldn’t let her continue lying on the floor to avoid catching cold. He climbed up the stairs to her bedroom and placed her there. He wanted to leave but he couldn’t and so he found himself laying beside her on the bed and she instantly snuggled up to him. He let her have that, let it be the last closeness he could give her. However, it wasn’t long he laid there when he sensed it: death, lots and lots of human deaths.