CH 7
Fantasy Farm
â¦makes things a little safer
translator: baumkuchen editor: sora harukawa
âAs of now, we havenât yet managed to identify the male corpse. His time of death was half a year after that of the female corpseâs,â the police officer said, âBut this corpse is still very well preserved, which is weirdest thing about it.â
Lu Qingjiuâs eyebrows furrowed. He asked: âOfficer, can I ask what your name is?â
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.
The police officer said: âMy name is Hu Shu. You can just call me Officer Hu.â
âOfficer Hu, I really donât know anything about how this happened, I only had a nightmare,â Lu Qingjiu said, âHalf a year ago, I was still working in the city. My neighbours can also vouch for the fact that I never came back before this, so as to what exactly happened, I canât say.â
Hu Shu said: âI know, weâve already investigated this matter.â After finding the corpse, theyâd gone back and conducted a detailed investigation into Lu Qingjiuâs background, and confirmed that he hadnât returned to his hometown in a very long time, essentially eliminating him from the list of suspects.
Since Lu Qingjiu had nothing to do with this case, the case was now firmly set in the supernatural direction. Officer Hu had a bitter look on his face as he sighed once again.
Seeing the situation, Lu Qingjiu could only pat him on the shoulder in consolation.
Still, they didnât have any leads. After having scoured Lu Qingjiuâs inner courtyard for a few days, the police withdrew from the scene. Of course, this time the well had been thoroughly inspected, and it was determined that there were no more corpses or similar things in the well.
âIt would be best if you invited someone over to exorcise the place.â The entire village had heard about what had happened over at the Lu house, and most felt it was quite inauspicious. His neighbour Uncle Li said, âStrangers died in your inner courtyard, itâs really too unlucky.â
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âItâs nothing,â Lu Qingjiu said, âI donât believe in those things.â
âAi, this kid,â Uncle Li said, âI know you donât believe in it, but the rest of the villagers believe it. If you donât invite someone over to cleanse the place, everyone else will be scared to come visit your place.â
Lu Qingjiu was slightly shocked, he hadnât thought of that. After a moment of hesitation, he then nodded: âIâll think about it.â
âAlright,â Uncle Li said, âThe witch living over in the eastern part of the village is very effective. When my familyâs kid started having nightmares, she helped chase away the spirits.â
Lu Qingjiu said: âOkay.â
After returning home, he hesitantly went to find Bai Yuehu, and very tactfully asked him if he was scared of witches and the like. Bai Yuehu was originally napping in a chair, but hearing him speak, he opened his eyes, and said: âWhat kind of witch is it?â
âJust one from the village.â Lu Qingjiu repeated what his next-door neighbour had told him to Bai Yuehu. âIf sheâs a threat to you, then I wonât invite her over.â Heâd originally wanted to promise Uncle Li he would, but heâd thought of the lazy fox spirit hidden in his home and thus could only change his mind, saying that heâd think about it.
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âBefore people die, they leave behind a kind of remnant,â Bai Yuehu elaborated, âHatred tends to be particularly strong, so it usually forms a curse. But if itâs only a lingering spiritual attachment, that is to say, willpower, then I also donât know what effect itâll have. Anyways, it wonât kill anyone.â
Lu Qingjiu said: âOh⦠ Then Iâll let the witch come over to see if she can disperse it.â
Hearing this, Bai Yuehu opened and closed his mouth, as if wanting to say something, but eventually just kept silent, still looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.
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The next day, Lu Qingjiu went over to the village to invite the witch surnamed He over. This witch looked to be about seventy to eighty, with an almost completely bald head, wearing patched up clothing, and overall looking very spiritual. After she heard Lu Qingjiuâs request, she spoke a whole spiel of gibberish Lu Qingjiu couldnât understand, and then made an OK sign at him.
Lu Qingjiu inwardly thought that this witch was still quite trendy, as she actually knew how to make the OK sign. He replied: âThen Iâll have to trouble you. When will you have time to come over?â
Witch Heâs eyebrows furrowed. She reached out and grabbed Lu Qingjiuâs shoulder and shoved the hand making the OK sign in front of his face.
Lu Qingjiu stared at her, uncomprehending, until she opened her dry lips, and spat out two words: âThree hundred.â
Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦â
After a long period of silence, Lu Qingjiu didnât say anything, and just gouged out three hundred dollars from his wallet and handed it over to the witch with a trembling hand.
The witch took the money, and finally retracted the hand making the OK sign. She said: âIâll come by tomorrow, prepare a large rooster, a living one!â
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Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦Okay.â
On his way back from the witchâs house, Lu Qingjiu dropped by his neighbour Uncle Liâs place and bought a large rooster off of him. Uncle Li was quite generous, and asked Lu Qingjiu about what heâd decided to do. Lu Qingjiu told him that the witch would be coming over the next day. Uncle Li was then relieved, and said this Witch He was very spiritual, after she came over to do her work the well shouldnât have any more problems. Lu Qingjiu thought, even if there werenât any problems he still wouldnât dare to use it, the water inside used to contain dead peopleâ¦
When Yin Xun heard that someone was coming over to cleanse Lu Qingjiuâs home, before the sun had even rose the next day, heâd already ran over. Lu Qingjiu was still out in the outer courtyard, standing before the laundry sink and brushing his teeth. Seeing Yin Xunâs shining eyes, he was shocked: âWhy are you so excited?â
Yin Xun said: âAiya, itâs been a long time since Iâve seen a witch at work, I kinda missed it.â
Hearing this, Lu Qingjiu stared at Yin Xun with a weird look in his eyes: âMissing what? The witch? Your taste sure is heavy.â
Yin Xun: âFriend what are you saying.â
Lu Qingjiu didnât say anything, and simply patted his best friendâs shoulder.
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At a bit past 7, the sky started to brighten and the witch arrived, carrying a cloth bag. It looked as if there were quite a few things inside. Bai Yuehu was still sleeping, and Lu Qingjiu didnât bother waking him. There would be no difference whether he woke up or stayed asleep.
The witch spoke a few more garbled words, before walking over to the mouth of the well, and began to place a few objects on top. Lu Qingjiu stood by the side, watching. Some of the objects were paper bowls, and some were paper ingots. Even though Lu Qingjiu recognized most of the objects, he had no idea how most of them were going to be used.
Naturally, the witch didnât explain anything to Lu Qingjiu. She held a long sword in one hand, and started chanting ominously. She danced a circle around the well, before picking up the rooster on the ground, and with a wave of her sword, directly chopped off the roosterâs head.
Watching from nearby, Yin Xun hissed. He said in a small voice: âHow fierce.â
Lu Qingjiu kept silent. He was thinking about whether after all this was over, if they would be able to eat the rooster⦠He was in the mood for some stir-fried chicken.
After the witch chopped off the chickenâs head, blood sprayed all over the ground. She then scooped up the fresh blood using a bowl, drank a mouthful of blood, and spat it out in the direction of the well.
Seeing this, Lu Qingjiu thought that those three hundred dollars hadnât been easily earned. In this day and age, being a witch really wasnât easy.
After working for about an hour, Witch He was finally done. As she was packing up, Lu Qingjiu tentatively asked if this chicken could still be eaten. The witch stared at Lu Qingjiu, and said: âThis chicken has been used. How could it still be edible? If you eat it you might fall ill. This well can be used now, but you canât drink the water in there.â
Lu Qingjiu nodded and thanked the witch. He watched as she walked away with the corpse of the chicken.
Yin Xun reluctantly stared after the chicken. He said: âSuch a big chicken, itâs such a waste to throw it away.â
âRight?â Lu Qingjiu sighed, âWhat a waste.â
The two of them cleaned up the well together before everything started to become busy again. This courtyard now had a flock of chirping chicks, and had become quite lively. The chicks were very brave, not at all fearing for their lives. When they saw a stranger enter, their immediate reaction was to use those tiny yellow beaks of theirs to start pecking at them. When Li Xiaoyu first met them, he had been pecked quite a few times. Thankfully, the little chicks werenât very strong and thus werenât much of a threat. Standing by the side, Yin Xun couldnât help but sigh. Werenât little chicks scared of mushrooms? When it next rained, heâd go out to the mountain and harvest some mushrooms to bring backâ¦
âThese are my chicks.â Next to him, Bai Yuehu, who usually didnât like speaking, suddenly spoke up. He said, âHow you treat them is how Iâll treat you.â
Yin Xun: ââ¦â
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Lu Qingjiu: âHahahahaha.â
Following that, he watched as Yin Xun, that fool, picked up a chick and kissed it on the butt before turning to stare challengingly at Bai Yuehu.
Bai Yuehu: ââ¦â
Next to them, Lu Qingjiu was laughing so hard he cried, especially because of that ugly look on Bai Yuehuâs face, which made him beside himself with laughter.
In the end, Yin Xun still gave up on the idea of attacking the chicks. As he watched them, he said heâd wait for them to grow up before making plans.
With the matter of the witch finished, Lu Qingjiuâs home settled down. The villagersâ discussions also slowly stopped. Just as Lu Qingjiu thought that the matter was over, something completely unexpected occurred ââ Something had happened to Witch He.
It was a cloudy morning. Lu Qingjiu was sitting outside the window, washing pork belly with Yin Xun. They had bought the pork belly the day before, in preparation for the stew they were going to make today. Just as the two were discussing the best way to clean the pork belly, a loud knocking sounded on the front door.
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âWho is it?â Yin Xun asked.
âItâs me.â Witch Heâs voice was heard.
Lu Qingjiu replied, âIs anything the matter?â He stood up and walked over to the door. When he opened the door and got a good look at Witch He, he was immediately shocked stiff.
Witch He seemed to have anticipated Lu Qingjiuâs reaction. She was trembling all over, even her voice was shaky. She said, âI⦠Iâve been cursed by your well!â
Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦This counts as a curse?â
Witch He stroked her full head of long, thick hair: âIt⦠should?â
Lu Qingjiu: ââ¦â From now on, he should rename his well as the Lord of Balding Prevention well.