CH 23.2
Fantasy Farm
translator: baumkuchen editor: ellabells
He saw Li Xiaoyu, who should have long been home, sprawled on the ground with his butt up in the air, writing something. Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua were sitting on their hind legs next to him, their heads lowered, looking at something with Li Xiaoyu. But this wasnât the most shocking thing. The most shocking thing was that from their mouths actually came human words; their voices soft and delicate like that of a three or four year old child, currently seriously discussing something with Li Xiaoyu.
He didnât know if it was because he was influenced by Bai Yuehu, but Lu Qingjiuâs first reaction after seeing Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua speaking was: Dang it, I really canât eat them now.
âWhoâs there?â The little black pig, Big Bro Xiao Huaâs hearing was incredibly sharp, allowing him to hear the sound of the things in Lu Qingjiuâs hands dropping to the ground. He bravely jumped up to shield in front of Xiao Hei and Li Xiaoyu.
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âItâs me,â Lu Qingjiu stepped out from the corner, âWhat are you guys doing?â
Upon seeing that it was the person rearing him, a hint of panic appeared in Xiao Huaâs eyes. Then he laid down on the ground and rolled around, an appearance embodying âwhat are you saying I donât understandâ.
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦Your acting is too fake. I heard everything just now.â
Xiao Hua, ââ¦â
Xiao Hei hid behind her older brother. She said weakly, âWeâre not monsters. Can you not chase us out?â
Lu Qingjiu said, âAlright, I wonât chase you guys out. Here, I saved some cabbage for you two from when I cooked earlier, quickly eat.â
Hearing this, Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua both had an equally incredulous expression on their faces. Clearly, they never thought that Lu Qingjiu would actually accept the reality of pigs being able to speak so quickly.
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Xiao Heiâs entire body shook. She used wary eyes to stare at Lu Qingjiu and said, âYou⦠Youâre just accepting it like this?â She had thought that upon discovering this fact, the human before her would at least have to go through a series of psychological struggles rather than accepting it so easily.
âOr else?â Lu Qingjiu said, âHow else should I react?â
Xiao Hua said, âScream a few times?â
Lu Qingjiu said, âForget it.â He looked over at Li Xiaoyu. Currently, there was a nervous expression on the childâs face. In a trembling voice, he called out âLu-geâ.
âXiaoyu.â Lu Qingjiu walked over to Li Xiaoyuâs side. He directed his gaze onto the item below their bodies â it was surprisingly a textbook. Upon seeing this, he couldnât help but let out his astonishment, âXiaoyu, what is this?â
âItâs⦠itâs Math Olympiad questions.â Li Xiaoyu seemed a little embarrassed. He hung his small head, and his ears turned red. His voice was as soft as a mosquito, âLu-ge, Iâm doing my homework here.â
Lu Qingjiu said, âWhy are you doing your homework here?â
âXiao Hua can teach me how to solve the questions,â Li Xiaoyu explained in a small voice, âHeâs really smart.â
By the side, Xiao Hua, upon being praised, puffed out his not-at-all buff chest.
Lu Qingjiu said, âOh, solving math questions. Why didnât you come ask me? I can also help you.â He thought, even if it was Math Olympiad, in the end, it was just an elementary schoolâs Math Olympiad. It shouldnât be that difficult.
Li Xiaoyu said, âI was worried about wasting Lu-geâs timeâ¦â
âI usually donât have anything on at night,â He half-crouched, and said, âWhich question are you having problems with?â
Li Xiaoyu pointed at the textbook, âThis one.â
Lu Qingjiu took a close look at it. On the textbook was written: Fill in the blank. An archer makes 10 successive shots at a target. X represents the number of times, out of 10 independent shots, the arrow hits the target. It is already known that the probability of hitting the target is constant, at 0.4. Find E(X²) = ____.
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Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â Holy shit, which elementary schoolâs Math Olympiad question was this? This was clearly an advanced math question that you only learn in university. After graduating from university, he had already returned all his knowledge on advanced math back to his teachers. Faced with this complicated question, he could only stare blankly, his round eyes bulging from their sockets.
âLu-ge?â Li Xiaoyu, seeing that Lu Qingjiuâs expression wasnât right, quietly called out from beside him.
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â He was silent for a moment, before picking up the textbook and placing it beside Xiao Hua, saying, âYou can teach him first, Iâll bring over some snacks for you guys to eat.â
Xiao Hua never thought that not only would Lu Qingjiu not feel any malice towards them, he would even kindly make them snacks to eat. For a time, he didnât dare to believe it. He looked at Lu Qingjiu, incredibly skeptical, âWhy are you being so nice?! You arenât trying to find an excuse to sell us off, are you?â
Lu Qingjiu asked, âItâs so late already, who would I sell you guys to?â
Xiao Hua said, âThatâs trueâ¦â
Lu Qingjiu said, âIn the future, when you guys are going over homework, come into the house. Donât squat in the pigsty anymore.â Although this place was usually kept really clean, in the end, it was still a pigsty. Children had weak immune systems, if he spent the entire day squatting here, he would definitely fall ill.
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.
As Lu Qingjiu returned to the house to prepare some fruits, Xiao Hua, Xiao Hei and Li Xiaoyu watched his back disappear into the distance, their eyes filled with admiration.
âLu-ge is a really good person.â Li Xiaoyu reached out his hands, and pulled Xiao Hua into his arms to scratch his soft, warm belly.
Enjoying the scratches, Xiao Hua nodded his head and said, âIndeed, heâs a good person.â
âYeah,â By their side, Xiao Hei was in complete agreement, âWhen he heard us speaking, he actually didnât find it at all strange, and even didnât stop us from tutoring Li Xiaoyu despite clearly being able to do it himselfâ¦â
Hearing this, Li Xiaoyu was moved to tears. He said that he would definitely study hard, and score well enough to get into a good school in the future to repay Lu-geâs kindness. Xiao Hua used his little pig hooves to pat Li Xiaoyu on the head comfortingly, in his heart grateful to Lu Qingjiu for not depriving them of their time with Li Xiaoyu. Heâd never consideredâ¦
âNowadays, elementary school questions are too motherf*cking hard.â Fruits in hand, Lu Qingjiu muttered to himself, âI clearly understand every word. Why is it that when theyâre put together, I donât understand what theyâre trying to sayâ¦â Of course, he was just speaking to himself. After all, grown-ups had their pride. If he had to admit that his intelligence was less than that of the two little pigs he raised in his home⦠Upon thinking up to here, Lu Qingjiu let out an expression of wanting to die.
However, Li Xiaoyu never brought up the matter of wanting Lu Qingjiu to tutor him again. Lu Qingjiu handed the oranges in his hands over to them. As he watched them dig in happily, he casually asked about their current situation.
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Ignorant before asking, shocked once knowing. Only now did Lu Qingjiu learn that Li Xiaoyu had been studying with Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua for a long time now, and was planning to skip a grade.
âMy dad says thereâs no point in me going to junior high.â Li Xiaoyu ate his orange, becoming a little unhappy upon talking about this, âSo I thought that if I canât go to junior high, I would just go directly to senior high.â
Hearing this, Lu Qingjiu sighed, the way children thought was too naive, but this childishness held a cuteness that melted oneâs heart. He patted Li Xiaoyuâs head and said seriously, âDonât worry, just focus on learning. If your dad isnât willing to pay for your education, gege will pay.â
Upon hearing this, a look of pleasant surprise appeared on Li Xiaoyuâs face, but he also seemed a little embarrassed. Lu Qingjiu immediately assured him, telling him to first focus on his studies. When the boat reached the bridge edge, it would naturally straighten.
Li Xiaoyu nodded happily.
Xiao Hua and Xiao Hei sat by the side, waiting for Li Xiaoyu to peel oranges for them to eat. Under the care of Li Xiaoyu, the two black pigs became more and more picky. When eating oranges, it even had to be peeled first. The ragweed they ate needed to be cooked first and seasoned with a little salt. They occasionally even had some vegetables from the fields as a side dish. Their little lives really had some flavour. It was no wonder their attitudes towards Li Xiaoyu were so good. Without Li Xiaoyu, this full-time keeper, they wouldnât be able to live such comfortable lives.
After Xiao Hua and Xiao Hei were done eating, Lu Qingjiu saw that it was about time, and sent Li Xiaoyu back next-door. He reminded him to not go to the pigsty when he came over to study from now on and just bring Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua over to the house.
Li Xiaoyu obediently made a noise of agreement.
Only then did Lu Qingjiu let out a sigh of relief and turn back home. Upon returning to the courtyard, he saw Bai Yuehu sitting in his chair, cooling off in the shade. His eyes werenât closed, staring out at the bright moon hanging in the sky, looking as if he was thinking about something.
Lu Qingjiu walked over to his side, and naturally helped rock his chair. He asked, âBai Yuehu, can I ask you something?â
Bai Yuehu didnât even turn his head upon hearing this, replying, âTheyâre not ordinary pigs.â
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â So it turns out you already knew. He asked, âThen what are they?â
âTheir academic name seems to be Dang-kang,â Bai Yuehu said, âThe taste is alright.â
Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â How many of these kinds of creatures have you eaten.
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âLetâs not eat the ones in the pigsty.â Even though he didnât usually see Bai Yuehu kill anything, in order to prevent a tragedy like what had happened with the original Xiao Hua from Yin Xunâs home, he still reminded his familyâs fox spirit, âTheyâre really smart, they can speak and even teach children math.â
Bai Yuehu asked, âThey can teach people math with such low IQs?â
Lu Qingjiu, who couldnât even understand the math problem, felt like heâd been insulted, but didnât dare express his inner sorrow because it was too embarrassing. He said, âIn short, donât eat them, if you eat them, that kid will cry.â
Bai Yuehu asked, âIf itâs cooked very tasty the kid might not cry?â He said this very seriously, completely not joking.
Lu Qingjiu buried his face in his palms. Thinking of that yearâs Yin Xun, who had cried and screamed but ultimately had sold his soul for a bite of red braised pork⦠Even though he didnât dare admit it, Bai Yuehuâs words were actually had some truth to themâ¦
âIâm joking.â Thankfully, in the end, Bai Yuehu didnât trouble Lu Qingjiu and gave up on the matter of eating Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua, âIf you want to keep them, then just keep them.â
Just as Lu Qingjiu let out a sigh of relief, he then heard his next line, âIâll find something else to raise.â
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Lu Qingjiu, ââ¦â
âIâll find something with lower intelligence,â Bai Yuehu got up from his chair, and let out a lazy yawn, his eyes half-closed, his entire body emitting an air air of alluring indolence. He said, âSomething that canât speak.â
Lu Qingjiu thought of his familyâs coop of chickens and added, âCan you find something that isnât strong either?â
Bai Yuehu nodded, seeming to agree.
Bai Yuehu entered the house while Lu Qingjiu rested on his beloved rocking chair for a while. Todayâs weather was good, there werenât any clouds in the sky, only a bright, shining moon. After the sun had set, the temperature had also gradually dropped. Occasionally, a slight, cool breeze blew across the courtyard. It was a pleasure to idle away the time like this. No wonder Bai Yuehu liked this rocking chair so much.
As Lu Qingjiu laid on the chair, he almost fell asleep. The most mysterious thing was that their home practically had no mosquitoes. The moment Yin Xun, with that particularly mosquito-attracting body of his, arrived at Lu Qingjiuâs home, he wouldnât get a single mosquito bite. This was probably one of the reasons why Yin Xun liked being at Lu Qingjiuâs house. However, the main reason was probably because Yin Xun was living all on his own.
Lu Qingjiu visited Yin Xunâs home before. Yin Xunâs home didnât have any internet or television. There were practically no means of entertainment whatsoever. Before Lu Qingjiu came back, his life seemed to just be farming. One single person eating, one single person sleeping, one single person managing everything. Only until after Lu Qingjiu returned, was his life finally stained with the smoke and fire of the secular world.
Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.
When Lu Qingjiu saw this, he understood why in his heart, and so he never asked Yin Xun about it. There were some matters that didnât need asking about, just by looking at them, one would know the answer.
As the night gradually darkened, Lu Qingjiu got up from the chair, and returned to his bedroom. After washing up, he sank deeply into the world of dreams.
At dawn, the rays of the sun shone through the window, waking Lu Qingjiu from his dream. He yawned as he walked over to the outer courtyard and saw his two pigs, who were supposed to be in their pigsty, sprawled out in the yard, soaking in the sun. Next to them, the fierce flock of chickens which had offed two thieves were running around wildly in the courtyard, pecking at grass seeds and stones. The entire courtyard was the image of vitality.
Yesterday, the tomato-hoarding big spender Chao Qianyu had sent Lu Qingjiu a message, letting him know that he would come over today to transport the tomatoes. Lu Qingjiu had expressed that there might not be enough time, because they needed at least one day to harvest the tomatoes.
After hearing this, Chao Qianyu expressed that there was no problem. He could call someone over to help harvest them and Lu Qingjiu didnât need to worry about it, he could just wait to receive the money.
Lu Qingjiu felt a little unsuited to his reverent and respectful attitude, but he could tell that the reason why Chao Qianyu cared so much about these tomatoes was because they had been the result of Bai Yuehuâs efforts.
So after a moment of hesitation, he wasnât polite with Chao Qianyu, saying, âAlright, just find a time to come over.â
Chao Qianyu agreed with an âokayâ.
As Lu Qingjiu brought breakfast over to the table, he heard the sound of a car horn outside the house. His first reaction to hearing the horn was, is it my pickup truck calling? However, a moment later, there was a knock on the gate to the courtyard. The sound of Chao Qianyuâs voice also drifted over, âMister Lu, weâve arrived.â
It was only a little after eight, Lu Qingjiu thought, why so early? But he still went over to open the gate for Chao Qianyu.
Chao Qianyu stood outside with two men behind him. He smiled broadly as he greeted Lu Qingjiu, âHello, Mister Lu.â
To tell the truth, Chao Qianyu was quite good-looking, gentle and refined, as if he was from a scholarly family. It was just because of what had happened before that Lu Qingjiuâs impression of him was rather so-so. Thus, he just casually nodded back, saying, âGood morning, Mister Chao. So early?â
Chao Qianyu said, âYes, we set out at about 5 am.â
âHave you had breakfast?â Lu Qingjiu made some polite conversation with them.
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âNo.â Who knew that Chao Qianyu would actually answer Lu Qingjiuâs cursory question. He stared at Lu Qingjiu with bright eyes, âI donât know if I could have the honour of trying Mister Luâs cooking?â