Chapter 97
The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)
âYou never told me that, baby girl?â Christianâs voice floats my way as Jenny nudges me gently and nods across the aisle. I had finally gotten into my book after all and blanked them all out as I was pulled into a magical world of Vampires and Werewolves fighting over human girls. I look up nonplussed, catching Arrick glancing my way with that infuriating unreadable expression and yet a softness to his face that I havenât seen in a long time. He almost looks a little bit happy and it just makes me feel shittier.
âWhat?â I look to Christian, who is now leaning with elbows on his table casually and pondering me with an open expression, everyone seems to be looking at me. Which only makes me feel more antsy and confused.
What did I miss?
âThat you were some sort of adrenaline junkie adventurer, who used to do things like base jump and snowboard with Arry here. He says he even taught you some self-defense moves when he was training. Youâre like a little stealth ninja. Now all I can picture is some sort of blonde wonder woman in very tight ski suits. Woof Woof.â He winks suggestively and I tense, hoping to God he realizes the Carrero brothers are not people you can make any sexual or lewd remarks in front of when it comes to me. I know what heâs like, and if he says anything a little less safe, they will both tear his head off. I throw him a wary look in a bid to warn him to be careful with what he says.
âWe just used to hang out; if he did something, I wanted to try it too, thatâs all.â I answer flatly, eyes on Christian in my serious âleave it aloneâ look. I turn back to the novel Iâm reading, hoping to become oblivious once more. My hair is used as a veil to hide behind, especially as Iâm pale and nervous suddenly and thoughts of Jake ripping Christianâs spine out, flits through my mind.
âSophs was always fearless; she saw everything I did like a challenge and always kept up with me.â
Arrick sits back in his seat, adjusting his jeans as he does so, inadvertently drawing my eyes to his crotch. I blush wildly and glance away, turning a page quickly, gulping down the stupid reaction Iâm still having to him. Chastising myself that I even did that, looked there, and see that he packs something worth looking at. Luckily, he doesnât seem to notice.
Stupid girl!
âPretty amazing for a girl as dainty as her, to not only try but handle everything I threw at her.â He finishes, sounding somewhat proud and I glance up catching the half-smile at me, eyes more hazel again, he seems lost in memory. A little moment of reminiscence between us that yanks harder at the pain in my chest, and I canât stay locked his way. I donât even know what to say to that, itâs like heâs trying to make things okay between us, probably trying to make the atmosphere less tense. He has no clue how far down the road to no longer liking him I am, and nothing can ever come of trying to be friends again. He ruined it, all of it and I have no desire to forgive him.
âMy little hellcat! Could I love you more?â Christian sighs with big adoring eyes that only makes me genuinely smile back at him, lifting my mood slightly. He has a way of making me feel lighter, even without meaning to and right now I need it.
I catch Arrick out of the corner of my eye, shifting in his seat, slightly frowning with that infamous Carrero glare that almost mirrors Jakes normal frown. Itâs in Christianâs direction then he looks away out of the window and seems to be trying to bring back his usual unreadable expression. Itâs obvious he doesnât like Christianâs affection for me, and as he is still playing it âstraightâ and implying I am his girl, it gives me a little tug of power inside. A sense of justice, that he knows a tiny ounce of what it feels like to be on the jealous side, watching someone you have feelings for choose someone else, and be happy with them.
Christian is maybe onto something with this game of illusion. Fuck you Arry!
âSophie is easy to love when sheâs not being a class âAâ brat.â Jake cuts in, sat back in his seat casually and looking very much like a guy that is comfy in his own skin. Heâs been unusually quiet for the last part of the conversation and seems to be observing. I wonder what that quick brain is summarizing, knowing he is most definitely in paternal mode and not cheeky brother. Normally he and Arrick are like twins in a laid back, casual way, but sat beside one another, it only highlights how unrelaxed and stiff Arrick is on this flight. Heâs tense, sitting straighter than he normally does and a lot more reserved in his brotherâs company than normal.
âThanks âUncleâ Jake.â I smirk, knowing how much he hates when I call him that, almost as much as he hates me calling him dad. I get a perverse pleasure in always winding him up, as much as he does to me.
âI am way too sexy, and young, to be your uncle, Sophabelle. I can still throw you off my plane you know? Even while being in mid-air.â Jake winks my way and I roll my eyes with a sigh, while Jenny giggles beside me. Nate is also unusually quiet, now the lull in conversation has happened on the long flight; he is watching my girl unusually intensely though and probably planning his seduction if I know him.
Since meeting the Carrero men Jenny has been giggling and blushing a lot, although a heck of a lot more since Nate sat down. She isnât immune to them the way I am and has just fallen victim, like every other female in New York, to that old Carrero charm, and good genes. Sadly, also to that wolf-like skill Nate has of entrapping innocent souls. I try not to glare at him.
âPretty sure that constitutes as child abuse.â Arrick cuts in and looks pointedly at me with an icier tone to his voice, clearly still sulking over Christianâs adoration of me. Heâs trying to be his normal jokey self, but I can see through it, although subtle. I can see his jaw is tense as his eyes grow greener, and lack any warmth. The tone alone is devoid of his usual humor and despite the urge to bite and tell him to go fuck himself, I sigh sweetly. Heâs taken on the very cool and distant Arrick look, lost in his thoughts and effortlessly locked away emotionally. Reminding me that he will forever only see a kid.
âThanks, asshole.â I grit back at him, trying to act normal and not let him get to me on any level. With the skills of a trained actress and completely controlled mannerisms of a girl who feels nothing anymore. It wasnât unknown for him to goad me into a Carrero brother argument, and them torturing me as teammates in the past. I know the drill, I play along for the sake of appearances, I know he is just trying to lash back because heâs one dumbass who sulks over my ability to move on, and I am not going to let it piss me off.
âTo us, Sophs, you will always be that big-eyed kid who needs big brothers to take care of her.â Jake winks at me now, all that irresistible charm of his, wrapped up in a Hollywood perfect smile, effortlessly at ease with knowing he is hot. That devilish air of Jake, a man with a plan, and I wonder what he is up to. He seems oblivious to his brotherâs mood and not at all interested in appeasing or scolding him.
My eyes lift and meet Arrickâs first, my brain concluding that this would always be the problem where he is concerned. His head torn between protector and brother, who long ago planted me firmly behind platonic boundaries and vowed to always keep me safe. That he will always struggle to separate that damaged little kid, who cried into his chest many times over the dark memories and nightmares with the woman I have become. He couldnât cross boundaries and let me grow up so instead he abandoned me.
Arrick regards me for a moment with a thoughtful expression, before turning to look out of the window, almost oblivious to those around us. I wonder if he is pondering the same thing I am, thinking about why it was such a dick move to leave me heartbroken and alone.
I wonder why his girlfriend isnât here on this flight. Sheâs been to every other party in the past two years and it isnât like him to not have her clinging to his side at family functions.
Not that I care.
âSophie is still a big-eyed kid, thatâs what we love about her though. Sheâs a woman child, all vulnerable and innocent, yet fiery and passionate. The perfect girl!â Christian is dramatically eyeing me up, all wide-eyed adoration and sultry looks that only make him seem hopelessly in love with me, and I curb the urge to roll my eyes at him. Heâs laying it on a little thick and even Jennyâs looking at him like he has something wrong with him. I sigh and throw her the âChristian is at it againâ face, she raises a brow and we exhale slowly, in perfect unison.
âI donât know, I think sheâs pretty independent. I see a strong woman who has youthful charm but is more than capable. She is definitely a grown-up.â Jenny cuts in. Ever loyal to me, her new-found best friend, and patting my hand maternally with a soft smile. Sometimes she is the only sanity between these two, especially when Christian is off on this new tangent of âletâs make Arry jealous!â
âI think you should all find a new topic and leave Sophie alone!â I cut in with a sigh, eyeing Christian warily with my best âdrop itâ look. Jake smiling my way with an infuriatingly knowing expression and lounging back casually in his seat. Arrick is slumped down beside him in the same pose, yet he isnât giving off the same casual vibe as Jake and I want to go back to reading until we land and get the hell away from him. This right here is a unique type of uneasy torture.
Iâm uptight, antsy and anxious and overly aware of him, like my senses are on high alert and the last thing I need is a juvenile anxiety attack that he would no doubt swoop in to try and calm, because he is the one of the few who knows how to.
Knowing him as I do, I can tell heâs agitated, despite his calm demeanor and poker face. Arrick has always been the master of coolness and indifference, to even the most observant eye and it took a long time to pick up on his tiny tells. The subtle jaw tense, the slight flex of a muscle or the deadpan calm of his face, given away by the increase of green in his eyes. The little flicker of that muscle in his cheekbone or the slight dip to his brow. A million almost unnoticeable quirks that all show different emotions.
Arrick, unlike Jake, is always so hard to read and never seems to erupt in the way his brother does or wear his inner thoughts on his face in a readable way, but I know him better. Jake has his equal share of poker face, when he wants or needs it, God knows he uses it in business a lot, but with close loved ones he wears his heart on his sleeve for all to see. Arrick does not. Arrick is pissed and he is sulking, and I do not care one iota.
You made your bed, now lie in it.
âWell as we are heading for landing, maybe we should all get ourselves together?â Jake back in bossy mode, nodding at the magazines strewn on the tables, the open laptop in front of Nathan who has been engrossed in something he is doing, and the array of cups and discarded junk wrappers littered among us. Dad telling the kids to tidy up his prized plane, no doubt. We all make a move to do as we are told before buckling up for the descent.