03: Blood, Sweat and Tears

❝ With only bricks to break my fall, for you I'd risk it all ❞

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I almost ran to the teachers office earning weird glances from the others. Hell, did I even care? I had to change my partner for the assignment.

I was aware that Ray was an asshole, that he smoked, hung out with wrong guys but I never, ever thought that he was capable of such a heinous act. The man could have died. He was on the verge of dying.

I couldn't do this with Ray.

I burst open the door of Mr Smith's office as he eyed me curiously, an amused expression settled on his face.

"Sir," I breathed heavily from all the running, "I can't do the assignment with Ray, I'm sorry." I took deep breaths again as my hand reached out to the table to balance my tired body.

He just chuckled and shook his head to say no.

"I know what happened, Ms Williams and I completely understand your reaction. But I will still insist on you doing the assignment with Mr Rutherford." He said as he eyed me.

Was he crazy? I was definitely not doing a bloody assignment with a murderous person.

Even if that meant I failed it.

"If you know what happened, then why are you adamant on me working with that—that, gangster?!" I spat as he simply kept his mouth shut.

He was definitely crazy.

"Ms Williams," He got up from his chair and turned his back to me, facing the window, "Do you think I'm not aware of what has happened? I'm very much aware. But also, I've always been taught to not judge a person from what he makes everyone see himself as."

Now what was that supposed to mean?

"People need people, June." He cleared his throat and spoke again, "Im very much firm on you working with him. So please, take your leave and try to work things out with Mr Rutherford."

If he knew, then why was he so calm about it? Gruesome fights as these were not even allowed in our school—any school, as a matter of fact. To think of it, no one had said a word to Ray. Not even a single teacher had approached him. That explained what Mr Smith said. Everyone knew, but no one said anything.

Why?

The way Ray's eyes had turned soft when he had looked at me could be my imagination but I think it wasn't. I found it extremely weird about the way he behaved. I strongly believed that he was hiding his true self.

As I walked to the empty class early to revise for the next lecture, I saw Ray sitting on the desk.

He was...crying?

It was evident. He was desperately trying to wipe off his tears, as if he didn't like the idea of crying. He had clenched his fists tightly and was looking out of the window, probably to distract himself.

His knuckles were clad with wounds and they were bleeding profusely, after the gruesome fight he participated in. The slant cut on his face from earlier had reopened and was gushing red liquid out, which ran along his jaw.

I should be scared of him. A few minutes ago, I was. But the fear had dissipated into air magically. I should stay away from him. But surprisingly, I wasn't scared and neither did I want to run away. I felt the need to tend to him and so that's what I did.

I quietly rushed to the locker, removing the first aid kit for the second time in a day, and made my way back again to the class. He was still seated there, immediately looking up when I entered the room.

Saying nothing, I made my way to the desk he sat on, and started cleaning up the affected area. Millions of thoughts ran through my mind as I foucused on the task in hand.

What was he going through? Why was he crying? Who was that guy? Why did he beat him up? What had happened to him in the morning?

But I kept mum as I figured it wasn't my place to ask him. I had thought he would smack my hand away or leave when I went to clean his wound but surprisingly, he stayed put.

I could feel his gaze on me but I didn't dare look up. I didn't have the strength to look into his eyes, those brown eyes, which did things to me. I almost forgot I had a boyfriend, and I had to mentally remind myself to stop looking at boys.

Especially Ray.

His eyes always put me on the highest roller coaster ride and had me internally screaming for hours after it. So I did not look up. At all.

Finishing the cleaning up, I started to pack the box and leave when his hand gripped mine.

"You really have to always see me in my most vulnerable times, right?" His deep eyes bore into mine as I kept quiet.

"Why do you keep doing this when I have already given you enough reasons to hate me, to stay away from me?" He asked, his voice desperate. He just needed assurance, I think.

"I'm not scared of you. And I'm not doing anything wrong either. You were badly bleeding and so I helped you a bit. That's not a big issue." I dared to speak, as I looked back at him.

He just kept quiet and continued to look at me. He was so insanely handsome. Oh God, so very handsome. I usually didn't spare a second glance towards boys, but when it came to this particular boy, my eyes couldn't get enough. Why did God give looks to the one's who never, ever appreciated them? And here I was, looking like a potato.

Everything about him was perfect. His body was perfect, his skin was tanned, a colour girls would die for, the black shirt he wore stretched dangerously along the lines of his bulky chest and his arms were strong and veins ran across them.

"I know I'm handsome but you are clearly eye-fucking me." His mouth curved into an almost smirk, as he folded his hands across his chest. The man knew his strong points and clearly also knew how to use it to his advantage.

Shit, he caught me. Again.

"I was just looking if you had other wounds." I tried to cover up, hoping he would accept the lie. He just kept looking at me and shrugged.

"People say thank you, you know, when someone helps them," I retorted. How could a person be so selfish? His eyes turned cold again and he just picked up his bag and flung it over his shoulder.

Whoa that was sexy.

"I didn't ask you to help me." He simply said, turning around and leaving the room. "Also, utter a word about what you saw," his jaw clenched, "and I'll make sure you repent for it."

Wow.

I kept making a fool out of myself by helping him out. But he finally had kind of joked with me. Is that all he could offer? I sighed, sitting down on the table, burying my nose in the history textbook.

The class eventually filled up but there was no sign of Ray. I knew he wouldn't come but a part of me hoped he did.

As the bell rung, I picked up my bag and headed to the hallways where Stefan would meet up with me. We had a decided rule that after school, he would take me home no matter what. He considered it "gentlemanly".

I leaned back against his locker playing with my foot as I absentmindedly twirled my locks around my fingers. A pair of feet ran upto me and I saw Stefan reeking of sweat.

Yet another practice session at football.

"Sorry, I'm late, they ended up taking an extra practice session." He explained, as he scratched his neck. I just nodded and we both headed out to his car as I slipped into the passenger seat, turning my head to look out of the window.

"How was your day?" He enquired, his eyes on the road.

"The usual, how about yours?" And I knew I made a mistake there because now he would ramble on and on about how he played wonderfully on the field and how his coach praised him.

It wasn't like I hated it. But he didn't stop for hours once he started. He only lived to talk about himself and I had to listen to it no matter what. But when I wanted to vent out to someone, he would simply hum or say "oh" in response.

"Oh mine was pretty good. We had our coach selecting players for the upcoming match and we all practiced till we dropped. Mostly, we got scolded because all the boys kept discussing about yesterday's Man U vs Liverpool match and then we had to do 10 laps of the ground as punishment." He snickered, clearly finding it funny when it wasn't.

I swiftly turned on the radio as What Makes You Beautiful played up by One Direction to drown his stupid rant. I loved that band. Boy bands were totally my thing.

"You're still stuck up on that band?" He chuckled, as he switched to the next radio station which played some Bon Jovi song. Oh I liked Bon Jovi too, but I would any day prefer 1D or BTS.

"I was listening to that song, could you play that up again?" I turned to look at him as he scowled in disgust.

"I mean what's that song so hyped up for? I doubt you girls find their songs good; its just for the boys right? What do you even find attractive in that Jungkook or Zayn? Hell, boys from my team are better looking."

Now here, he literally proved himself stupid. What a joke.

"You don't even compare to them, so stop sprouting that shit up and let me listen to the song." I insisted, my hand reaching out for the music system.

He slapped my hand away rather rudely and smirked. "Its my car you're sitting in June, so you better listen to what I want to," he taunted, turning up the volume even more.

It was annoying. I couldn't ever do what I wanted to. It was really suffocating.

I had to listen to his meaningless rants but he didn't want to listen to mine. I had to adjust to his preferences and yet he would never even consider mine. I had to put in the extra 10% while he barely put the minimal 50%.

He pulled up in front of my house and drummed his fingers over the steering wheel, waiting for me to get out. No holding open my door, no goodbye, nothing, nada. I didn't expect him to open the door for me, but he could say a mere bye at the very least.

Sighing, I got out, slamming the car door shut as I made my way to the front door. I wasn't even inside and he had already reached the end of the street.

Sometimes I really did consider my relationship with Stefan.

Sure, he didn't do extra things for me but he did fulfill the basic demands. Like having lunch with me, dropping me home, once a week dates to the movies or a dinner night. And also, I knew no one would ever want me so I guess I had to stick to what I had in my hands.

It wasn't like I didn't like him. I liked him.

He was my first friend in middle school and helped make my days better. He was quite the joker, always having jokes up his sleeve and I found them really funny. After being friends for a long period of time, he asked me out one day and you could say I was happy.

I was comfortable with him, I liked how funny and open he was and he helped me out no matter what. Back then, there was a time where I even thought I loved him. But these days, it had started to become a bit annoying to cater to his wants and needs.

He wouldn't spend much time with me, or mostly with his fellow team mates in the game room or on the field. He openly flirted with girls and I will not criticize him for that as we had made it clear we were allowed to talk to the opposite gender and befriend them. It was just that Stefan took the befriending thing onto the next level.

Throwing myself on the bed, my mind drifted to today's incidents.

Ray.

That boy surely had some major problems in his life. I had heard of him being the ultimate tough, superior guy but I had seen him crying. And he looked really vulnerable.

What had happened to him?

But why was I concerned for him? Even after he was being rude and snappy towards me, I was still ready to forgive him. This was really messed up.

I had to sleep it out.

××

My mom screeched from outside the bedroom as I checked my clock.

It was fucking 8:30 which meant that I was late. Very late.

Jumping from the bed, I decided to skip taking a shower today, as disgusting as it sounded, I had no option. I guess this was the ultimate teenager life, wasn't it?

Ray's thoughts kept me occupied the entire night.

I was damn sure that there was a reason for the way he behaved. After all, I had an assignment with him, it was better if I tried to get to know him and even the more good if he eventually ended up being comfortable with me. I really thought that he badly needed someone to talk to.

I wasn't pitying him, but he really needed to have an open talk with someone, anyone. It would maybe help him get things off his chest.

I called for an Uber as I had no time to walk or catch a bus to school. If I wanted to get in for the first period, taxi was the most feasible option.

As the driver pulled up in front of the school gates, I ran towards my locker, quickly picking up the books needed for the first lecture. The hallways were deserted and I was yet again late for the economics lecture. I just hoped Mr Smith took me in, after the way I had shouted at him.

That was very wrong of me but anways.

Running towards the end of the hall, I didn't even look where I was going and I ended up in some storage kind of area of our school.

Great, I was late and now I was lost.

Suddenly, thick smoke of cigarettes filled up my nasal canal as I violently coughed. Upon taking a few steps forwards, I saw a group of people taking puffs and talking—and by talking I mean words 20%, swearing 80%. I learnt new swear words in the span of a few minutes. Great.

I saw Olivia leaning on the wall, kicking some boy and laughing. Ray came into my view too as he stood quietly, taking long puffs from his cigar. His hair flopped over his face and his long, veiny fingers held the cigar. His legs were crossed and his body adorned skinny ripped black jeans with a white t-shirt which stated fuck off.

Very typical of Ray.

His waist held the leather jacket which was tied apparently because he felt hot. It was smoking hot here in California.

He looked so good. No, not good.

Hot, intimidated, sexy would be the right words. Was he aware of the effect he had on people around him? There was this aura that surrounded him which clearly stated you die if you come close. But that aura was so sexy that people ended up taking risks to get close to it, to touch it, to feel it.

I wanted to go close too.

"June!" called out Olivia, as she snapped me out from my Ray Aura Theory.

All heads turned to me as seven eyes bore into mine, some mischievous, some curious and some bored. Ray's fell in the bored category.

"To what do we owe this pleasure of having the school's topper here among us?" A boy spoke up, as he smirked. I guess my face showed confusion upon not recognizing him and hence his next sentence.

"Aww sad to know you don't know me. I'm Simon, Simon Rivers."

Oh, that Simon. He was the one beside Olivia at the time of the fight.

"H-Hi" I stuttered, mentally slapping myself. Great, now they thought I was a little kid.

"Come here," gestured Olivia, as they all broke their circle and instead stood beside each other in a line. I felt like I was going to give a job interview except for the fact that every single person here was intimidating, and hot.

Taking small steps, I ended up standing in front of them, as all of them studied me.

"What brings you here?" Asked Olivia, as she crossed her arms and leaned back. "I uh, was in a hurry and kind of didn't look where I was going and ended up here." I said, smiling sheepishly. Ray looked at me, without even blinking, his eyes devoid of any emotion and his face lacking any kind of expression.

"Oh, so you're lost. Haven't you ever come to the backside of the school before?" Asked Olivia and I shook my head to say no.

Simon sniggered, "Her entire life is laid down between her house to the school to the locker to the class to the cafeteria. Why will she ever come here Ol?" He speculated, smirking. He was right, of course, but oh did it sting.

Olivia slapped him over his arm as he hissed and tackled her by fake choking her neck.

"So you need someone to tell you the way back?" Asked a boy whom I'd never seen before. He smiled. "Im Jack. Jack Connors. Nice to meet you June!" He said warmly, bringing out his hand for a handshake as I took it.

"Yes apparently, and nice to meet you too." I said, surprised to see Jack behaving like a normal boy. I expected everyone to be cold and rude but I guess I was wrong. Not everyone was Ray.

"No problem, I'll take you back!" Jack said, stepping forward. I was shocked but never the less I nodded, agreeing upon it.

"There's no use going back. Its already 9:20 which means that the lecture gets over in the next 10 minutes." Simon stated simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Then why don't you stay back with us June?" Olivia asked, looking at me expectantly. Why was she keen on me staying with them? I wasn't one of them after all.

"Wouldn't I be a hindrance? I mean, I'm not one of you guys and I'm not familiar with your ways." I said, fiddling with my fingers and my eyes warily lingering on the cancer sticks.

"Nonsense." Olivia waved her hand in the air, and pulled me beside her offering me a cigar to which I politely declined. I guess this was their way of putting a step forwards to make a friend—offering them cigarettes, much to my shock, and well disgust. To what suits whomsoever.

Ray kept quiet the whole time and didn't utter a word, silently taking puffs and staring off into the distance. Olivia nudged me and whispered to not mind him and said he was probably in one of his moods.

Funny. Ray didn't seem short on one of his moods.

I didn't even have the time to think about him because everyone happily included me in their talks, reciting random funny incidents that had occurred around in the school. Who would have thought that the people whom the whole school dreaded, actually weren't that bad. They just liked a little bit of fun—illegal fun, but hey, to what suits whomsoever. I found myself repeating this sentence quite a few times, mostly because I was trying to convince myself not all smokers, stoners and hookers were bad people, but I was convinced of it at the end of a few minutes.

"And that is how we ended up getting yet another boring detention!" Finished Jack as all the others except Ray burst into genuine loud laughs, their smiles wide.

I found them really funny and great company. I promised to myself that I would never, ever judge people on the basis of public opinion. What Mr Smith said was right; we must never judge someone on what they make everyone think of them as.

"Ray I asked for my car back yesterday. Where were you after the break? Had you gone to the river bank again?" Screeched Jason, yet another friend in their group.

"I didn't take it to the river." Ray said in a monotonous tone, while simply continuing to smoke.

Well he hadn't taken it wherever Jason was accusing him of taking to, because I had seen him in the class crying.

"I don't believe you." Bellowed Jason, stepping forward.

"I told you once Jason. I hadn't taken it there, hell, I didn't even leave the school!" Ray snapped.

"Ray didn't take your car anywhere because I had seen him in the class and he was—" Before I could even complete my sentence, I was pushed roughly on the ground by two strong pair of hands.

I fell hard, and I felt my cheek stinging as my hands scrapped on the rough concrete floor. Shocked, I raised my head to find Ray hovering over me, his eyes dark and dripping of anger.

"Who told you to stand up for me? Could you for once, strap up your trashy mouth and leave us the fuck alone? Who told you that you could suddenly fit in and act as a considerate friend to me, nerd." He seethed, as he emphasized on the nerd.

My eyes teared up, as my body hurt internally as well as externally. I had just wanted to help, why was he so cold?

"I—I" Horribly stuttering, I gave up, quietly sniffling as Olivia helped me up, patting my back and glaring at Ray while Jack collected my fallen belongings.

"Shut up and get lost." Ray spat, averting his gaze.

Enough was enough.

I stood up, shaking Olivia off me as I finally showed my face to everyone and Jack gasped.

"June you're blee—" I raised a hand to stop him and he fell quiet.

"I told Jason because I saw you hadn't gone anywhere, not because I wanted to get in your business or join your friendship group. People may have hated you or pitied you but I did neither. I did it because I genuinely wanted to help you without any intention. And I surely didn't deserve getting thrown around and being awarded bloody cuts to my body." I said, breathing sporadically, as tears slipped down my face.

My voice croaked so I stopped, but I really wanted to say more. He could be sitting on the schools social ladder high and mighty for all I cared, but I didn't deserve to be treated the way he was treating me. If people like him disregarded genuine people, I don't know what the good people were supposed to do in this world.

And to think I wanted to try for him.

His eyes drifted up to me and landed on my cheeks, travelling down to my hands and scraped knees. I swiped away the blood that was dripping down my face, mixed with my salty tears, which by the way stinged.

Snatching the bag from Jack, I mumbled to the others a whispered sorry turning around to hide my tears.

"June I'll take you back—" Jack started but I cut him off.

"No thank you. With all due respect, I will go on my own or else Mr Rutherford will think I'm trying to befriend you for my own secret purposes. I had a wonderful time getting to know you. Thank you and I'm sorry." I finished, turning around to leave.

It was too much to take in.

Did he really hate me that much?

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3rd chapter is down! I lowkey have 5 assignments pending and 3 orals to give. I still wanted to write tho hehe