40: Beginnings And Confrontations

❝ All of me, loves all of you ❞

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"Here you go! Strawberry milkshake only for you!" Sam lunged at the glass as Ray chuckled. It'd been a few weeks since we'd brought him home and he was holding up fine. He was being very brave and accepting about the whole situation, even if his chest was ripped apart and stapled again.

"Yum!" He exclaimed, as I ruffled up his hair. "June makes the besssssst milkshakes!" Giggling, he slurped the liquid out of the straw, his eyes wide with excitement and a smile laced on his lips.

"Down the entire thing, buddy. It's all for you." Ray said, walking over to stand beside me. "We'll be right back, okay?" The little fellow waved his hand, motioning us to leave; his entire attention on the glass under his nose. "Okay he doesn't care, let's go." Throwing a fake scowl over his shoulder, we left the room, leaving the door wide open if he needed anyone.

Susan was sitting on the dinner table, a laptop in front of her and her eyebrows scrunched up. Her eyes flitted to us and she smiled. "You guys can relax for a bit. I'll watch him." Picking up her laptop, she climbed the steps and disappeared in Sam's room.

Ray walked us to his backyard which seemed spruced and tidied up. The plants looked even more greener if that was even possible, and the grass on the lawn was damp and soft. "So, what did you want to talk about?" I mused, sitting on the French door ledge, turning my gaze towards him. He sighed, linking our hands together.

"We couldn't complete what we were talking about in the school washroom that day."

"I told you it was okay. I understand and I'm sure we'll work out through whatever your decision might be. The fact that I love you and want to be with you overpowers everything and anything." Inching closer into him, I rested my head on his chest, feeling the gentle breeze on my cheeks.

"About that," making me face him, "I decided on what I'd like to do about my future." My heart skipped a beat, and I wanted to not look desperate for what he was about to say, but I couldn't completely hide my excitement, thus squeezing his hand a little too tightly in the process, making him burst out laughing. "Look at you, aren't you trying your level best to hold yourself back now?"

Rolling my eyes, I scoffed, pinching his hand in the process. "Shut your trap and spill already."

"I want to study art." His eyes pierced in mine. A long sigh left his mouth, his finger subconsciously tracing the lines over my palm. "I've always wanted to. It just—I felt held back by the memories of my dad which I wasn't ready to let go. I thought the more I kept it within me, the more closer he stayed to me. Also, Sam was a plausible reason as well." The setting sun was beautiful against the horizon. "But now I want to. I want a future for myself, and you are a part of that future." A visible swallow travelled down his throat. "I applied to UCLA; among many, of course."

I gasped. "I did too! Wait," I couldn't believe it, "are you serious?" A big smile broke out on his face and he nodded, pulling me in for a hug.

"Damn serious. Want to see my docs?" Turning my head up to see him peering down at me, I shook my head in negative, barely holding back my tears.

I wasn't embarrassed to admit that the past few days, all I'd been thinking about was the looming graduation and the dynamically-about-to-change-life after graduation. We'd barely dated for a year, but yet, sometimes, you know it in your heart that this person in front of you is about to be your forever. That you'd like them to stick around. You'd like to share with them the weird, funny and goofy parts of you as well as the sad, gloomy and low parts of you. Because everything simply flows with them alongside you.

I knew this boy meant a lot to me more than I was aware of.

Hence the thought of him not being in the picture to witness the most important years of my life and vice versa, disheartened me. Saddened me. Made me stay up at nights. With what he just said, I was happier than I was showing, but even more happier for him to gather up the strength to finally think about himself, pursue what he wanted without hundred responsibilities looming above his head and excited about the prospect of enrolling in college. Most importantly, he was letting go of the little grief he still possessed after the passing away of his dad yet keeping him in memories; and finding a way to be happy.

"I'm happy for you." I said instead, pushing myself even more closer to him. "I'm glad you've taken this decision, and all the more glad that you're doing this for yourself. But you know what I just realized?" His eyes remained on mine. "Even if you did decide to stay back, I'd love you the same. We'd do long distance or whatever it took, but I'd never have let you go."

He smiled. "I know."

I smiled as well. "Yeah, I think we both have each other figured out."

He laughed. "Pretty much." Everything was silent for a moment, before his voice broke the quietude. "You may not agree with me. I may not agree with you. I'll enrage you, I'll annoy you, I'll drive you mad. We'll have those stupid fights about stupid things. But at the end of the day, my love and respect for you will never diminish."

Blush crept up my neck. "Me too."

"Also," angling his mouth, so that he could speak in my ear, his voice dropped. "It will never diminish this beastly desire of mine to fuck you in ways you've never imagined."

I screamed internally, but kept up the cool façade. "Well then, what are you waiting for?" In a minute, I was in his arms, as we headed to the attic, not before closing the door on the mom and son duo asleep in each others arms.

2 months later.

"I'm done with school." Simon declared, pushing away the books which sat in front of him. Aggressively sipping on his Frappuccino, he rolled his eyes. "Fuck college. I say let's fucking run away and buy a house in the woods." Olivia chuckled beside him, shaking her head amusedly.

"Simon says dumb shit 101% of the time, but I have to agree, running away to the woods does sound intriguing." We all watched Simon's face go from annoyed to proud at Jason's statement.

"Math can go drown itself in a pool full of shit for all I care." Katie piped, as Jack adoringly kissed her cheeks which were red because she couldn't get one problem right. She was another wrongly solved problem away from bursting into tears.

"This ain't the stuff for us sweetheart, we were made to get shitfaced." Simon high fived Katie who huffed in agreement. "Are you shitting my dick? It's eight thirty! We made a pact we'd study till six—what the fuck?" Simon fumed, slamming the Starbucks cup on the table loud enough to attract the attention of a few other customers.

"Can you fuckers chill for a minute?" Ray bellowed from beside me, his eyebrows pulled in frustration. "People are trying to study here."

"And by people you mean you and your girlfriend. And Katie's boyfriend?" Simon challenged.

"And apparently your girlfriend too, blind ass." Ray fired back, as we all silently chuckled. It was enough to keep Simon quiet for a few, as he turned to Olivia to complain, who amusedly comforted him by kissing his lips every problem she solved.

"Yo, isn't that Kian?" Jack interrupted, as we all turned our heads in the direction he was pointing at. "Fuck, it is. It is indeed Kian Wu." The supposed Kian was tall, almost as tall as Ray, with lean built and almond eyes which were so beautiful, that I abashedly kept looking at them. They crinkled every time he laughed at something a girl beside him said, and I nodded to myself, the fact downing upon me that this guy was no doubt a beautiful person. "Kian!" Jack shouted loudly, as Ray hissed, rolling his eyes.

Kian's eyes fell over us before they widened in recognition, mostly after he spotted Ray. Whispering something in the girl's ear, he strode over to us, Jack immediately jumping up from his seat to greet him. "Kian Wu. Has it been two years now?" Kian smiled.

"Three, O'Connor. Memory still weak as ever, huh?" That enticed a deep laugh out of Jack who pulled Kian in for a hug. "Oh man, it's been long." He whispered, his eyes falling on Ray. He pulled back. "Won't you greet me, Ruth?"

Ray cleared his throat beside me. "Of course."

Ruth? I turned to Olivia who had a wry smile painted on her face.

"And who might this be?" Kian asked, gesturing towards me.

"Meet my girlfriend, June. June, Kian." Ray twined his fingers with mine, pulling me up to my feet.

"Hi, nice to meet you." I said, capturing Kian's hand with mine, who smirked.

"Nice to meet you too, June. I'm Kian, Ray's ex." For a minute, the silence was cracking but I nodded.

"I see why Ray decided to date you." Kian looked taken aback while Ray secretly smiled, squeezing my hand. "Are you Jack's friend, though?"

He stared at me as I nervously laughed, not sure why he wasn't replying. "Yeah? Oh—OH yeah, uhm, we're family friends. Yeah, ha ha." Kian shifted his weight from one leg to another, before composing himself. "I didn't mean to come off the wrong way June. Honestly, Ray was the first guy I dated and I was simply nostalgic upon seeing him. I'm just happy to see him happy."

I waved my hands in the air, before Ray spoke up for me. "It's okay, K. She doesn't think of you in a negative way." I smiled. "I'm happy to see you as well, though I won't lie, at the start, I wasn't a bit sure about it." Patting Kian's shoulder, he continued. "I hope you're happy as well. And I'm sorry with what went down."

"Wasn't all your mistake, Ruth. It's bygones. I have a boyfriend now by the way! Anyways, I should be on my way." He waved. "See ya Sunday, Jack!" And with that, he was off.

"Well, that went better than I expected." Jason mused, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"I KNOW RIGHT! I was holding my breath, dammit." Simon seethed, as Katie agreed with him.

"Shut up." Ray grunted, gathering his books. "It's late, we better get going. See you at school tomorrow." Not waiting for the others, he pulled me along until we were inside his jeep. "Idiots." He muttered, fastening my seatbelt for me.

"Ray." Grabbing onto his arm, I made him face me.

"What?" Grumbling, he fell back on his seat, sighing.

"I'm not mad." His expression changed, and I stifled a laugh. "I really am not. It's okay, seriously. He was just an ex."

He sighed again. "Yeah, well."

"What went down between you guys?" His eyes closed, as he dragged his hand through his hair.

"He was my first real relationship. I knew I was bisexual since I was thirteen. I met Kian through Jack, at his house, and we instantly had the hots for each other. We were fuckbuddies." He muttered. "Until we weren't." I hummed, encouraging him to continue. "I knew he loved me. And somewhere, deep down the fucked up me, I did too. I did not know back then, how to express my emotions. I'd brush him off, I'd be cold towards him. But I would do stupid shit like help him study math, fight people who bullied him just because he has asian features. He tolerated me until he couldn't, and one day slept with some other guy."

I gasped.

"I don't blame him. I never did. It was my fault. I did not give him the attention and love he deserved, but that was how I was back then."

I gripped his arm tightly. "Cheating is never an excuse. Okay, you were at fault but he could've broke up mutually. Don't rationalize him cheating on you. Okay?"

He nodded, kissing my forehead.

"I love you just the way you are. All your so called fucked up parts and all your beautiful parts. All of me. All of you." We were inches apart, my fingertips touching his cheeks and his hand knotting in my hair. He let out a shaky breath before opening his eyes.

"I love you so much." He whispered, the sound lightening up every inch of my body.

"I love you so much." I said back, pressing my lips onto his. Our mouths tangled and our tongues danced on each other, as I lost knowledge of my surroundings, drowning in him, drowning in everything Ray Rutherford.

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So so so sorry for the wait y'all. I'd initially planned on updating yesterday, as a birthday gift to you guys, but I couldn't because I was too busy with my birthday celebrations. But here you go! The next chapter will be the last [ :( ] followed by the epilogue and the bonus chapters, which will be uhm...hot ?????

Thank you for 100 followers!!! I love you guys so much wtf x