26: Trust And Forgiveness

❝ Love is a maze, but damn, you is amaze ❞

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"Hi." He whispered.

I turned to face him, his hot breath fanning my face just the way I liked. Oh no, I was mad, and I was going to act like it. "Finally wanted to speak to me, huh?" A small smile tugged up the corner of his lips, as he sighed.

"I'm sorry," He took my hands in his. "I really am—it's just that sometimes anger gets the best of me." I tilted my face in curiosity, the city light now enlightening his face. "Well to say, it wasn't anger, I just—I haven't really told anyone that I draw."

A scoff esacped my lips. "I'm not going to judge you for drawing, I mean have you seen it for yourself? It's so good!" I exclaimed out loud, and he smiled at that.

"Really?" He lifted my chin up, and I nodded meekly; at a loss of words. "I'm sorry and I mean it, baby. I know it was stupid and immature of me to act the way I did today, and I hope you can forgive me." His demeanor changed, as a sullen expression settled on his face.

"Does it make sense for you to rub me off only because I asked what you want to major in? And if it bothered you that much, you could've told me politely that you didn't want to talk about it and I would've understood it perfectly." I rubbed two fingers to smoothen out the creases that had formed on my forehead. "I prodded over your limit, and for that I'm sorry, but you shutting me out didn't help the situation, to be precise."

His eyes turned over to the now lit up sky, his cold breathy sigh releasing a smoke in the air. "I'm learning how to be more open, but that doesn't excuse me for treating you shitty." His thumb rubbed my bottom lip now as he caressed my face. "I'm really very sorry."

Before I could say anything, he started to speak. "My dad was a budding artist. He taught me to paint, to draw, to bring a simple pencil stroke alive. Being able to draw is something I cherish, and something that is very personal to me. I feel like, its our very own secret and I'm not sure whether I want to show it to the world or not." His eyes glazed, as he stared off into the neverary, probably remembering the fleeting memories of his father.

A heavy feeling settled into my chest. He was so insecure, so lonely and so very much heartbroken. And yet he was trying his best. "I'm sorry," I said, taking his face in my hands and turning him to face me. "It can be your own little secret, and it can be shown to the world—whatever you want. Just know that your dad would be very proud of you, no matter what you do in your life." I smiled at him, as his eyes stayed stuck on me.

The ferris wheel came to a stop, as it shuddered and stilled. We were at the top now—and below us lay the town of Avondale, the now bright and lightened up amusement park. The air was cool but not breezy, just the right type, and I sighed at the wonderful view in front of me.

Ray's fingers climbed up my thigh, and silently sought the permission to be twined with mine. I gave in, and took his hand in mine, relishing the warmth and comfort it provided me. The month of November was just around the corner, and I was excited for Christmas. With my dad, with my new friends, with my boyfriend.

But before that, I needed to let him know where my feelings stood. "I'm sorry for intruding into something that makes you feel vulnerable, but I hope you understand I wasn't aware of it." He nodded fast, and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, distracting me as my eyes lingered over the hot thing. Clearing my throat, I continued.

"You shutting me out everytime something like this happens isn't going to help us, or our relationship. I'm sorry for that, but I'm not sorry for being mad at you. I roamed the entire park with only one thing in mind—what had I possibly done to anger you and I blamed myself for it." He closed his eyes shut as he sighed heavily.

"It isn't your fault—I feel like I'm the fault sometimes." I clamped his mouth shut with my hand as I motioned for him to not say things like that. He wasn't a fault, he was a ray of sunshine. My sunshine.

"Can we both say sorry and end it?" His eyes saddened a little as he nodded and that is when I let my hand loose.

"It's not really your fault, but I dont want to ruin the night anymore. I'm sorry baby." I pulled him in for a hug, relishing his scent, loving the way how my head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry too." He hummed, holding me as tight as ever.

"Hey." His hot breath blew over my ear as I shivered, turning a bit to find him extremely close to my face. His lips were inches away from mine, his entire body pressed into my side. His other hand circled and settled itself on my waist. "What?" I whsipered as he smiled, a strange emotion lingering in his irises.

"I—I uh," He stammered, clearing his throat. "I uh, uhm, I'm sorry. Again." It seemed like he wanted to say something but ended up saying something utterly different. "It's okay." My knuckles brushed over his light stubble and he closed his eyes.

"This," he opened his eyes, moving a bit closer to me, "This is what I want to have for the rest of my life." And with that, his lips were on mine, and I was on his lap, kissing frivolously, madly, not wanting this moment to end. My heart beat erratically and I didn't even realize when my hands ended up in his hair.

"Fuck, June." He pulled my lower lip between his teeth as a guttural moan escaped my mouth and his grip on my waist tightened. I pulled on his locks in response as he groaned right beside my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. I wanted his hands lower—who was I kidding, I wanted his hands everywhere.

"Go down." I grumbled, as he sucked on my neck, leaving me gasping for air. "What?" His voice came out controlled, but I know he was losing his mind just like I was. "Go down, I said." He only looked at me, before I decided to take matters in my hand. My hands grabbed his and put them on my ass, as he stilled beneath me. I pushed his head a tad bit below my collarbone, where his lips were touching the outlines of my chest.

"W—What are you doing? Are you okay with this?" He mumbled, as his lip darted out and licked the area in a quick motion. "Just keep going. I want this." I groaned, squirming in his lap at the lack of his touch. And he hadn't had to be told twice. In an instant, his hands were molding the flesh on my hip and his mouth sucked, bit and licked the skin below my collarbone. I groaned, moaned, and pulled on his hair, slowly grinding on his thighs.

He soon reciprocated, as he started to move with me, and we both were a moaning mess, our lips surely swollen but not wanting to stop. People could see us from the carriage above but we didn't care. It was just me and him, him and me against the world.

His tongue caressed mine, flicking it expertly and making me curl my toes at that. The sounds he was making weren't exactly helping either. His groans resonated through his chest and traveled down my core, settling below where the heat and stickiness was now evident. His hands knead and gripped my ass tightly making me groan in satisfaction.

"Wow," I blurted out as we pulled back yet again to catch a breath, red creeping up my neck at the hot and very sexy make out session. He smirked, his thumb slipping between my lips, and my tongue licked the tip at reflex. His eyes darkened a tad bit, as he removed his thumb out, settling on the wet finger.

"Wow indeed." His breath was erratic, and I could feel his heart beating fast. "You never fail to surprise me." His tone was deep, husky and edgy, indicating that he was as much affected as I was. The knot in my stomach wasn't undone, and it was hurting. I hummed, my senses lost and the ability to speak long gone forgotten as I settled my face on his shoulder and he pulled me closer.

"I think it's time we discussed something." He suddenly spoke, nevertheless, his finger rubbing my palm smoothly. "What?" I questioned, as he turned to face me.

"Do you want to—you know," clearing his throat, I noticed his cheeks turning pink as he looked for the appropriate words. I didn't let him finish.

"Have sex with you?" His eyes widened and he nodded meekly. Ray was cute, and whoever said otherwise would be crucified. "Yes, I want to. I trust you." I really wanted to, and though I wasn't experienced in that criteria, I was sure my first time should be with him.

"I'm not in a relationship with you only for the physical aspects. I'm with you because I lo—like your everything, and not just your body. So unless you aren't comfortable and ready, I will not rush it." His eyes fixated themselves on me as my heart fluttered. I wanted to question him about the slip up, but decided not to annoy him again.

"I want to. I really want to, I'm sure." He smiled and plopped a quick kiss on my cheek. "Okay, we'll go with the flow baby." Fuck, whenever he called me baby, my core would flutter. And he knew it very well because he smirked at me.

"Hmm, flustered, baby?" Blush crept up my cheek and I smacked him on his arm as he laughed, throwing his head back. "Shut up." Grumbling, I turned my attention to the view outside as we were now descending down. I turned around on his lap, so that my back was facing his front. His hands held me at my waist, and his chin settled comfortably on my shoulder.

Pushing my hair to the other shoulder so that my bare neck was visible to him, he sighed. "A beautiful view, with a beautiful view. Life couldn't be more better." I giggled and he pinched my sides, making me yelp in surprise. And then we fell into comfortable silence till the ride stopped after reaching the ground.

He stood up first, carefully placing me on the bench, walked out and held his hand out for me to take. We walked out of the exit to find our friends eagerly waiting for us.

"There they are!" Jack shouted, as everyone's heads snapped to us. "Fucking finally, my legs were just about to turn jelly." Simon complained, as Olivia smacked him in the head yet again. So it was their plan to push us into the ride together. I'd have to have  word with them tomorrow.

"And they're holding hands so I suppose y'all have made up?" Katie smirked, as a knowing expression setlled on our friends' faces. "Oh shut up, you bitches." Ray scowled, but never letting go of my hand. I smiled at the ground, squeezing his hand as he squeezed right back.

"Stop pestering them, let's just get going. It's going to be dark soon." Olivia the wisest announced and everyone followed like the good pets they were. What would I do without her? Probably nothing.

We all scrambled into the car just like before, the only difference being, Ray's head was on my shoulder as he tiredly relaxed his body. I rubbed his wrist softly, and he hummed, squirming and squeezing so that he was more closer to me. Everyone smiled at us, as Simon played soft music in the background.

I don't know when I feel asleep, but when I woke up, my head was on Ray's chest and his hands were running through my hair. "We're here." He whispered in my ear. I looked around to see only Katie and Jason in the car. The other's were probably dropped off.

"I'll walk her and then I'll go back to my house on my own." Jason half heartedly nodded at Ray's sentence, probably sad that his bestfriend could still not trust him. "Sure, bye June. Next time, I will ride the wheel with you for sure." He winked as I laughed. "No need." Ray grumbled from beside me and we both laughed at that.

"Bye!" Katie waved at me, and winked for reasons unknown to me. My bestfriend was becoming really weird these days.

"The house lights are off. You sure your dad was supposed to be home?" Ray asked as I opened the door to find a pin drop silence. Weird. Dad was supposed to be home. "I dont know, he should be here and so should mom." I walked up to the kitchen, flicking the lights on, to find the room empty. Ray was curiously studying the house, his eyes landing on our family photo.

"Oh there's a note." It was stuck on the fridge and clearly written by mom. In a moment he was behind me, towering over me to read the note.

"It says your mom had to go pick up your dad in San Francisco. That's like five hours away, and that she'll be staying the night at the hotel with your dad and come back home tomorrow morning by nine?" He read it for me, and I couldn't because he was over powering my senses in that moment. The knot in my stomach was back and I really wanted it untangled.

"Y—Yeah, I guess." I mumbled, taking a deep breath as he moved away, standing at the kitchen door.

"That's sad, I know you were excited to meet him." He inched his hand forwards and rubbed my arm. "You'll be okay alone, right? Keep the doors locked and before sleeping, make sure the windows are shut. And also keep your bedroom door lo—" I didn't let him finish that.

"Stay." I blurted out, as he stopped, his face turning blank. "What?" I could visibly see him swallowing heavily.

"I said stay. Stay with me tonight." He tensed, his hands forming fists, as he shook his head. "L—Like a sleepover, right? Is that what you mean?" He stuttered, as his clenched his fists. Oh how dumb could a boy be. "Yes like a sleepover, but a uhm," I blushed, "a mature sleepover. Get what I mean?" His eyes widened as he shook his head.

"I—what? Are you trying to say what I think you're trying to say?" I nodded meekly, as he swallowed. "Really?"

"If you don't want it, it's okay. I just—I think I'm ready." And I was, the thought had been popping up in my mind for quite a few days. And I would be lying if I said I absolutely did not imagine him naked and doing all sorts of things to me.

"No, oh god no," He was in front of me in a second, rubbing my cheek soothingly. "I want this more than anything. But you don't have to rush it for me. We can go at your pace, baby."

I kissed the side of his hands, wetting my lips as his eyes darkened. "Well, this is my pace. I want this, and I'm sure. What are you going to do about it?" And he flipped, his demeanor changing. In a moment I was pushed against the wall, my hands pinned above me as he shoved his face between the crook of my neck, placing sloppy, wet kisses which had me squirming.

And then he looked me in the eye. Those mocha eyes, which had now turned to black coffee color burned into mine.

"Well I guess I'd just have to show you what I am going to do about it."

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