Chapter 64

Bloody crimson eyes and light blue eyes fixed onto each other. It was no longer noisy like it was a while ago. In the spacious library, a strange silence descended.

Sezh looked at Raytan with a dumbfounded expression. He was also the same. However, unlike usual, for some reason, his eyes were dull.

Raytan slowly lifted and wrapped his hand on the cheek Sezh was touching.

No, to be precise, it looked like he had tried to hold both Sezh’s hand and his cheek if Sezh, who belatedly pulled back into reality, didn’t abruptly draw back her hand.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“I’m worried that Brother got hurt…” Sezh continued her talk in a hurry.  “D- did it get more painful since I touched it? I didn’t mean to do that… If I knew it would be like this… I put a lot of strength into swinging my fist… But this was really not my intention…”

Sezh didn’t even know what she was talking about right now.

‘Why am I wavering like this?’

And most of all, she didn’t understand the sound of her beating heart that kept ringing in her ears.

Raytan was still silent and stared down at Sezh.

He didn’t give her an answer. In this situation, Sezh thought she would be more comfortable with a ghost.

As the silence seemed to increase, her embarrassment also increased.

“No… So. So that’s why… I… Because Brother got hurt…” Sezh, whose face was bright red, lined up words that weren’t understandable.

“… It’s fine.”

“Really?”

“That’s right,” Raytan replied with a lower, more different voice than usual. Then Sezh saw him lift his hand.

‘What was he trying to do? Just now, he… What was he thinking about?’

“H-However, I’m so glad that you’re okay.”

Sezh’s voice broke up the fleeting thoughts in his head.

Raytan then looked at her again.

Soon, his gaze stopped on her blonde hair that was shining under the sunlight.

“Your hair.”

“Yes?”

“Your hair is messy.”

Sezh guessed that since she put all her effort into swinging her fist, her sloppy blonde that came down to her waist became as messed up as a pile of straw.

“Hold on. Earlier, Luna gave me a hair tie. I need to tie it up.”

Sezh rummaged through the pocket of her dress and soon pulled out an old hair tie.

“This… How does Luna do it?”

Luna was the one who always tied her hair, so no matter what Sezh was doing with her hands now, she was making nothing but a messy bundle.

Her scalp even seemed to be pulled a lot, and Sezh tried to tie her hair up again, but it quickly loosened.

Sezh, who started to feel troubled, collected her hair and gathered it again and again until she eventually became enraged.

The situation did not improve at all. To be precise, Sezh’s hair was all over the place at the moment.

Sezh could see that her face reflected in the window had become redder than before.

“Give it to me.”

“Yes. What?”

“The hair tie.”

Why is he asking for it? Sezh was puzzled but still handed him the hair tie. Raytan took it, grabbed Sezh’s shoulder, and then turned her around.

“Brother, do you know how to tie hair?”

“I’m not sure, but I think I’m better than you.”

‘If you’re going to tie up my hair, you only need to do it. Sezh pouted her mouth a little and eventually decided to sit down and let him tie her hair.

And… it was rather fortunate. Rather than sitting face to face with Raytan with her bright red face, it would be better to turn her back and not face him like this.

Raytan’s large hands smoothed down her hair. It doesn’t look much different from what Luna did, but oddly enough, her heart was pounding.

It didn’t mean she hated it or something. Honestly, it felt nice.

His hand carefully ran through her hair, and she felt his fingers slightly rubbed against her scalp.

‘… But why does my heart keep beating like this?’

Sezh recalled the old duke who had suddenly died because of some chronic disease.

‘Maybe I also have a chronic disease. They say that when people have a problem with their heart, it will beat very fast. Just like mine is now.’

Her soft silky hair touched the tip of his finger. Raytan gently began to tie the gathered hair together.

After that, he spoke in a subdued voice, “In the future…”

He has to do it now.

In the future, there won’t be any more tutoring. Today is the last time. So from now on, don’t try to ever look for him again. But strangely, his mouth couldn’t open.

“In the future?”

Raytan didn’t continue to speak, so Sezh asked again. Raytan couldn’t pass the words through his lips.

What suddenly caught Raytan’s eyes was the bracelet wrapped around his wrist. It was the emerald bracelet that Sezh crafted for Lize a few years ago. Since Sezh lengthened it, the bracelet now fits Raytan’s wrist.

It was originally his mother’s possession, but he picked it up again. Raytan had no idea why he wore this bracelet.  And why couldn’t he say that today is the end?

Even though he knew he had to.

“Brother Raytan?”

“From now on… Come to my palace. Not this library.”

Instead of the words he had stuck in his throat, strange words came out of Raytan’s mouth instead.

“What? Your palace? Why suddenly…”

“It’s because.. my mother is very sick. It would be better if she had fewer things to care about.”

“Oh, so it’s like that… I’m sorry. I didn’t even think of that…” Sezh said with a guilty look.

After she heard his explanation, he wasn’t wrong. If she didn’t come here every day, Mary could focus more on nursing Lady Lize.

Besides, doesn’t Lady Lize’s health get worse day by day?

Sezh thought she was bothering a sick person for nothing.

“Instead… try to come early in the morning or late at night. Come at times when no one else is in view. Strange rumors may arise if others see you…”

Well, Sezh had no idea what would happen if the rumor spread about her going in and out of Raytan’s palace.

It was rather good for her.

Even if Raytan didn’t say anything, didn’t her mother already firmly tell her she must stop the Kazaki tutoring this morning?

The place Yerena knew as the tutoring location is Lady Lize’s palace. So it seemed like she could fool Yerena if Sezh stopped going to this palace.

Of course, she would not know that the place has changed to be Raytan’s palace now. But Sezh knew well that the deception would not last forever.

She will be 17 years old soon, and she will reach adulthood… A lot of things will happen.

However, until then…  Until then, Sezh wanted to continue to have this little bit of happiness.

“Alright! I understand. Then, from tomorrow, I will instead go to Brother’s palace.”

“… Good,” Raytan replied quietly.

For the time being… he has earned time to find a way to leave her. He didn’t have to get rid of her right away as his mother commanded.

It was his first time disobeying Lize’s order. Not for any other reason, but because of Sezh. A strange feeling of guilt pervaded him.

‘Raytan, don’t disappoint me. Don’t let everything be meaningless.’

Like a curse that will haunt him all his life, that voice seemed to keep piercing through his eardrums. But Raytan didn’t have any regrets about what he said.

At least once. Just once, Raytan wants to do what he wants.

‘I want to do what my heart wants.’

If he must destroy the bond between them… he can do it slowly. There is still time left.

‘Now is… No, they can be like this a little more… They can do that,’ Raytan said to himself.

“But why did you teach me how to fight? It was so sudden.”

“…Just.”

“Just? Just what?”

“Next time, when someone is bothering you again, you will be able to solve it by yourself.”

‘Without me,’ Raytan swallowed up those last words.

Sezh tilted her head. For some reason, Raytan’s voice sounded sorrowful. And by all means… Sezh even felt as if he was going to leave her sometime soon. Like what Eton did.

‘By yourself.’

‘By yourself.’ Strangely, it felt like Sezh’s heart was shattering because of those words. She still feels like this even though Sezh knew she had to break away from the Imperial Palace someday.

Sezh made a vague expression for a moment, then spoke in a casual tone.

“Didn’t you see it just now? How well I swing my fists.”

“…”

“I think I can win even if Brother Bern and Sister Lillian attack me at the same time. No, I think I will surely win? Brother said it was painful too. You said so, right?”

“…”

“So don’t worry about that.”

“…Okay.”

He drew a small smile. It was a bitter smile full of emotion.

Unfortunately, Sezh was sitting with her back facing him, so she could not see such a Raytan.

Soon after, Raytan said he had finished.

Instead of a mirror, Sezh looked at her face in the window. Unexpectedly, Raytan’s skill was pretty good. No, it was outstanding. It was a little sloppier than what Luna could do, but compared to Sezh, he was still better.

Because her hair was neatly tied now, Sezh’s flushed cheeks seemed to appear even more exposed.

“What? You don’t like it?”

“No! Of course not. It’s Brother who tied it…”

Sezh, who got embarrassed, kept touching her cheeks. If Raytan asks her why her cheeks are so red, she would answer that it was because she kept scratching them.

But Raytan didn’t ask at all.

Instead, he just lightly patted Sezh, who now looked exactly like an apple with her pouted and flushed cheeks, on the top of her head.