Ch. 8 He doesn't mean it. Right?

CH. 8 He doesn't mean it. Right?

(Ben POV)

I rushed to my room, stunned about what had just happened.

What in the world was that? I asked myself.

Did he just say that? Did he mean that? I looked around my room in confusion. He kissed me, and I kissed him back.

I touched my lips; the kiss that happened between us was something that I liked a lot. Yet, it was something that was not supposed to happen.

I can't do things like that with people I interviewed.

Why did he kiss me? Why did I even allow him to kiss me? I mean, he asked for consent, and I said it was okay, but part of me was wondering if he would do it.

Is he attracted to me?

I didn't have to look in the mirror to know that my face was already red, but I couldn't help the butterflies that I was feeling.

He kissed me for a reason; he asked to kiss me for a reason.

He wanted to kiss me, and I ran out of the kitchen as soon as he finished.

Gosh, what is wrong with me? I'm a whole nervous wreck.

I left the bedroom and found Jesse standing right where I left him, still. He didn't even move; it was as if he was frozen.

Running away after the kiss was something that I shouldn't have done.

This was new to both of us, especially to him, and here I am causing us both to be nervous about it even more.

"Jesse," I said, walking towards him. He turned to face me, a confused look on his face.

I didn't know what to say, but Jesse cut me off before I could even come up with anything.

"Why did you run out? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I was serious when I said l like you and I'm attracted to you." He said, staring at me.

"I'm sorry it was unexpected, and I just didn't think you would do that. Honestly, Jesse, I don't know what to think of this. I honestly just don't want to be someone's experiment to see if they like men or not. I'm honestly too fragile to get hurt like that, Jesse, and if that's what you're looking for, then you found the wrong person because I can't deal with that." I said, meaning every word.

"I didn't kiss you because I was experimenting. I kissed you because the level of attraction I felt for you was already there." He said in a severe tone.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, let out a sigh, and then spoke.

"I want you, I like you and I am attracted to you. You're not an experiment to see if I am gay or not. Honestly, I don't think I am gay but I know I am feeling a lot of crazy emotions right now for you and I don't see this feeling going away. Also, I'm not going to keep you a secret. if you give me a chance to show you that. I will, I don't care who knows. You're definitely someone worth bragging about." Jesse said, staring at me with raw emotions.

I let his words settle in. I would be lying if I didn't admit that the level of pull and attraction I felt towards him wasn't there, but what was scary to me was that we had just met and were already feeling this way towards each other.

"You like me, seriously? No games?" I asked him. He walked towards me, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me again.

My heart was slamming against my chest as Jesse continued to kiss me.

I wanted to touch him, so I decided to. I ran my fingers through his hair, lightly tugging him closer to me, wanting to deepen the kiss even more.

We pulled back from each other, both of us catching our breaths. When I made direct contact with Jesse, the way his eyes looked and the look on his face confirmed to me that he was serious about all of this.

A soft smile appeared on my face.

"I am very serious about this, Ben, I'm already addicted to kissing you and even want to do it again right now, especially when you have that look on your face," Jesse said in a flustered tone.

"What look?" I asked him as he kissed my forehead; my eyelids fluttered close from the affectionate feeling I was receiving.

He pulled back and lowered his gaze to match mine. "That cute look you have on your face whenever I kiss you as if you just received a gift that you have been waiting for a long time," he said, smiling.

I stared at him. He was very handsome, and I'm sure everyone noticed.

I couldn't help; my hand reached his face as I softly rubbed my thumb on his right cheek. Jesse leaned against the touch.

"You're so beautiful, so handsome," I said.

" You're one to talk. You have no idea how attractive and stunning you look. I am going to make you see that. But I seem to remember your promise to cook for me Before you ran away from our first kiss, a kiss I enjoyed very much." Jesse said in a teasing tone.

"Sorry about that, I was just very nervous, but yes, you're right, I did promise to cook for you. So I will get to it." I said, smiling.

"It's okay to be nervous. I mean, I was nervous kissing you, too," he said, rubbing the back of his head.

I felt a tug on my heart as I stared at Jesse.

"Would you like to have something on as I cook?" I asked him.

"Sure, that's fine. Do you have any recommendations on what I should have?" he asked me as I moved around in the kitchen.

"Hmm, anything. You can even put on a horror movie if you want." I suggested to him.

"Scary movie, huh?" he asked, a little stunned.

"Yes, scary movie, and a good one, too, not any of those bad ones that just don't make sense," I said, teasing him.

"Jesse," I said his name seriously.

"What is it that you want between us?" I asked him, lowering my gaze to look at my fingers. For some reason, at that very moment, I found my fingers interesting to look at.

"I would like us to get to know each other more, to start dating, to become boyfriends and of course, I am looking for even more after that." He said, taking me off guard about what he could have meant by that.

"Hmm, well I do want to have that too, but I also want a strong friendship behind that. I meant what I said about not having a lot of people in my life. So, I would want us to be great friends, best friends during those stages as well." I said.

Relationships don't last if people can't be friends during it.

Jesse approached me and lifted my head so that our stares matched.

"You got it, baby." He said; I knew from the way my face was starting to heat up that I was red, and Jesse, of course, confirmed that with the smile that appeared on his face.

"Baby?" I asked.

"Mhm, I'm going to be calling you that a lot now. I really would like to." He said, pressing a kiss on my cheek.

"Feel free to call me anything you like," he said, kissing my neck and causing shivers throughout my whole body.

"Okay," I said softly.

Jesse pulled back; he stared at me as if he wanted to say or do something.

"Shit, Ben. Yeah, you have no idea how fucking attractive you look." He said, letting out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I am attracted to you in every way, no more doubting that okay?" He asked.

"Okay." That was all I could muster to say because I was definitely very attracted to him in every way, too.

*Kassandra Speaks*

It looks like Jesse is serious about him and Ben. Poor Ben thought Jesse was most likely just using it as an experiment, but Jesse checked him real quick about that. Hmm, why would Ben think of that? Does it mean something from his past happened like that to him before?

I love how open Jesse is, don't you? He basically told Ben that he never felt like that with anyone else until he met him. Let's see how these feelings work out. Give this story a voice, comment, and share!!! CHECK OUT MY OTHER BOOKS TOO. Love you dolls!!

xoxoxo

-Kassandra Vivu