Chapter Fourteen
CAPTIVATED
"Super speed?"
"Yes."
"What about burning in the daylight?"
"You've seen me plenty in the sun."
"Ugh, true."
Idris looked away from the road for a moment to look over at Alixandria's clenched fists, she was biting her bottom lip. He chuckled, "You think of Vampirism as what you see in the movies, try looking at it in a more epidemiological way."
She arched a thin brow, "So, like a disease?"
"That's what we think."
"We?"
"Well, yeah. Did you think Ben and I are the only ones?"
"No, but... well, how many vampires are there?"
"That depends," Idris thought back to the handful of real vampires he'd met. "Half breeds are rarely considered vampires, because most of them are too weak to even be considered anything more than human."
"Half-breeds? What's that?" Now he really had her interest.
"Half-breeds are vampires who were not conceived by pure bloods, but instead were turned. The further from the pure lineage the weaker they are."
"I'm assuming pure bloods are vampires born from two pure blooded vampires."
Idris smiled at her, "You catch on quick for a shortcake."
Alixandria rolled her eyes. She hoped he had forgotten about that pet name. Why couldn't he call her something nicer like...flower? Ha, she cringed at how equally awful that was.
"So, which are you? A fancy pure blood or a muggleâI mean half-breed."
It was Idris who rolled his eyes this time. "I'll give you a clue... half-breeds tend to have minimal power, whereas pure bloods are born with an abundance of gifts."
"Hmm, well you can compel, you got that speed thing, you have heightening hearing since you seem to be able to hear when my heart is acting up and, you're obviously strong if you can jump from the roof of the school," she remembered that little incident, it had been right before he had kissed her, when she had told him what he felt for her was lust. "So you're obviously a pure blood." She smiled as Idris nodded his head.
"Does that mean your mom and dad are vampires as well."
"Yes."
"Are they...umm.â" She wasn't exactly sure how to word it, luckily Idris knew what she was trying to say.
"Are they still alive?" He chuckled. "Yeah, they are, but they don't live here. Last I checked, they were in Hungary."
"Wow, they travel a lot?"
"Yes."
"Do you miss them?"
Idris lightly scoffed. "I've been around a long time Alix, and so have they. Of course I miss them, but there is also a reason I'm a million miles away." He chuckled.
Alixandria sat in her seat thinking about it all. She'd read so many romance books on vampires and yet they'd all seemed so intense, so it was almost odd to hear that Idris had a family, parents that probably often called to check up on him.
It made her wonder what else was real and what was fiction.
"So, if vampirism is a disease, then it can be transmitted?" She thought back to what he had said earlier, about thinking about it from an epidemiological standpoint.
"It's complicated."
"How?"
"It depend on the human. Some humans take vampirism well and develop many of our gifts, but other's hardly develop anything at all. However, the stronger the vampire, the stronger the chance that a human will transform into a strong half-breed."
"Is Ben a pure-blood?"
Idris nodded his head.
Alixandria sighed thinking about her good friend. "How does one get turned into a vampire? Can it get transferred through saliva? Or blood?"
"Are you worried about Camilla?"
"Well, I did see Ben sucking on her neck like she was a capri-sun," Although it didn't seem Camilla minded when Alixandria thought back. She wondered if other legends were true, like vampire bites feeling...euphoric. Is that why Camilla had said it hadn't been 'so bad.'
"It's passed by our venom."
Alixandria's eyes went wide the moment he said that and as if reading her thoughts, he quickly added, "but it would take more than a bite to transfer over."
"So then how?"
"Ah, well.." He thought it over, looking for the correct words to make it as uncomplicated as possible, "Vampires have two different glands and two different sets of fangs anâ"
"Let me see!" She turned in his direction, leaning over in her seat.
Idris chuckled, she'd leaned in close, and the warmth and scent of her body gripped his bones. He took her hand and brought it up to his lips, keeping his other hand on the steering wheel. He wished he wasn't driving so he wouldn't have to keep breaking eye contact, but her safety was his priority.
Rather than tell her to wait, Idris smiled, and Alixandria felt her blood rush as he used her hand along his to prod his lip, giving her access to canines. She hadn't seen those fangs since that terrible night she was attacked, when Idris had also shown her what he really was.
Now that she was calmer and closer, she could really see how long and sharp they really were and she couldn't help but realize how lethal his fangs were.
She removed her hand so she could lean closer instead.
"In the back of our mouths we have a gland, two to be precise. The gland connected to our canines secretes a venom meant to paralyze our prey while we feed, it's said to be like an aphrodisiac to some."
Alixandria gulped as she watched those shiny sharp incisors. So, one bite and she might orgasm...great.
Idris pointed to the back of his mouth, "Our other gland is connected to a set of four small fangs at the back of our mouths, it is what contains our venom with the vampirism virus."
"So, you can choose when or if you want to deliver the virus?"
"Yes," He nodded his head.
Alixandria was unsure what to say. "Glands, venom, pure bloods, half-breeds," She muttered, "I feel like I'm stuck in a twilight book."
"Last I checked, I don't glimmer in the sun."
"So, what I'm hearing is, that you read the books." Alixandria chuckled.
"Of course not..." He shook his head. "I saw the movie."
Alixandria broke into laughter just as he had.
"I knew it." She laughed.
"I was fact checking."
"Uh-huh, sure you were." She smirked. "Ok, one more question... for today." She quickly added the last part. "Do you need to drink blood?"
"That also depends?"
"On what?"
"On whether you are a half-breed or pure blood."
"God this is complicated."
"Never said it wasn't."
Alixandria sat back in her seat with a light smile. She found her hand was in Idris's grasp. She liked how it felt, warm and soothing. Her heart swelled as she watched Idris drive her. He was very handsome and just being next to him made her feel whole and more than anything, alive. Something she hadn't felt in a while... something she hadn't felt with Henry to be more precise.
Thinking of Henry made her heart ache. She knew things between them had become a bit estranged for a while...but for him to blatantly lie and be with another woman. Ugh, Alixandria couldn't even be mad.
She was glad Idris had shown up when he had or else, she would have had to face Henry. Perhaps that would have been the better choice, she argued, but for some reason she just couldn't face him.
It wasn't that seeing him had hurt her, rather it was the fact that she knew that what they had was most likely over and she realized what was really hurting her wasn't the fact that Henry had betrayed her, but rather that their relationship would come to an end.
Thinking about what had been so familiar to her for years was like killing off a piece of herself; whether good or bad it was still a piece to grieve.
Alixandria shook the thoughts from her head. For now, all she wanted was to go back to Camilla's, get her car, go home, and then...then she would deal with Henry.
She just had to keep her mind busy until then.
"So... blood drinking? Is it necessary then?"
Although Idris was enjoying her interest in his kind, he couldn't help but feel that she was ignoring the obvious. He hadn't been the only one to see her supposed soulmate at the club tonight. "You know, I can't tell if you are genuinely interested or if you're just trying to distract yourself from the fact that you saw Henry with another woman tonight."
Alixandria felt her face burn, she turned away and instead chose to move her focus out the window, at the barely visible rain clouds that were taking over the sky.
Idris had seen right through her, and she wasn't sure if she should be irritated or relieved that he was giving her a space to talk about it.
As she thought it over, she realized it wasn't just Henry that was in the wrong. With a sigh, she whispered, "It's not like I've done any better."
It was as if she was reliving the memory of seeing Henry with that woman again and at the same time reflecting on her own recent choices. Her gaze dropped to her hands and once again she sucked in her bottom lip.
"Idris, you don't understand." She sighed heavily.
His jaw clenched as he realized there must be something he was missing. How could a girl who saw her supposed soul mate with another woman still refuse to see it for what it was?
In fact, he had a hard time understanding why exactly she hadn't even reacted the way he expected. There were no tears, or sadness, not even anger. The only look across her face was a mix of blandness and tiredness.
"I know I should be mad or upset, but the truth is Idris that I'm not... and I can't explain why. I know I should feel sad or angry, but I don't and that scares me."
"Why?"
"Because I know I should be, but it's..." She sighed and ran her hand through her hair as a moment of clarity struck her. Â "it's you Idris." Alixandria shifted her gaze to him, her thumbs rubbing over each of her fingers. "Ever since you showed up, I don't know what to feel. I thought I had what I wanted and a part of me can't help but feel that because this is new, I am drawn to it and that is no excuse for how I have acted. I owe Henry so much!"
"So, are you with him because you love him or because you owe him?"
"Iâ" Alixandria couldn't get the words out, her mouth hung open as if she had never thought about that question before. Her eyes suddenly grew watery, and a sob escaped her. "Does it make a difference? I was happy... until you showed up."  Hell, Alixandria hated herself for saying that, but as she had said it, they had finally reached Camilla's and Alixandria saw her opportunity to leave.
She didn't want to hurt Idris like she had hurt Henry, so she thought that maybe it was best that she left, maybe she was just meant to be alone and figure things out by herself. She wanted Idris, there was no doubt about it, but being with him would mean leaving Henry, the one person who had stayed by her side when things got hard, the one person who had taken her in.
The minute the car had stopped Alixandria took the opportunity to unbuckle herself and fling the door open, but before she could leave, Idris grasped her by the wrist and pulled her back into her seat, "Stop running, Alixandria, because I'm not going anywhere."
"Do you think I want to run Idris!"
He let go as she crossed her arms, fuming and aching in her chest.
"What do you want then?" He turned off the car and turned towards her. "Tell me what you want. Why do you stay with him when it's so clear you don't actually love him?"
"I do love Henry!"
"In what way? Because to me, it sounds like you're with him because you feel you owe him." He furrowed his brows in frustration as she didn't dare look at him. Her eyes were growing red from trying to hold back her tears. "Alixandria," He called, so gentle she couldn't help but finally turn to face him.
It felt as if her heart was fully open to him as her eyes shimmered with distress. She had never had to question whether she loved Henry...truly loved him, because what they had had been close enough to the real thing. And if he was happy, then she could be too.
She just hadn't expected Idris to come along and challenge that.
"Look, I don't expect you to leave him. If you truly love him Alix...that changes nothing," he sighed, "I will always be here for you, but I just want you to know that it's okay to do what's best for you, that you should also seek your own happiness and not feel guilty about it. I don't know why you feel so indebted to Henry, Alix, but I also hope you find peace with it, because true love doesn't hold things against you. There are no depts and bargains...there's only love and support and I hope you have that. I hope you know that if Henry truly loves you, as he says he does, then he will understand what you feel, regardless of whether he agrees with it or not."
"B-but I can't, I can't leave, he gave so much of himself to save me and I-," She finally sobbed against her palms, "I can't just leave him after all that."
"Alix, Henry helped you because he wanted to. You did not force him, and you do not owe him, and he knows thatâ"
"But what if he doesn't? Then I just break his heart andâand..."she broke into a fit of inconsolable sobs, just as thunder struck and a stream of heavy rain began to fall.
Idris unbuckled himself free, and reached over, slamming the door shut and then he reached for her, taking her into an embrace as she sobbed into him for what seemed like an eternity.
In that eternity, Alixandria contemplated everything in her head, because the truth was weighing on her, because the choice was tearing her apart, and because remembering why she loved Henry made it hard for her to swallow.
Idris couldn't understand, wouldn't understand until she explained, so she fought the lump in her throat and the ache in her chest that turned her words into mush against her tongue, but he needed to understand why she was struggling so hard, and so with the weight of her past barred over her shoulders, she finally spoke.
"Henry was my neighbor since childhood, he lived right next door and we became really good friends. We went to the same school, we had the same friends, we played outside, had sleepovers. He was there when I broke my finger playing ball in the court, he was there for all my awards, he was there to calm me when we made it to high school...when we made it to senior year...and..." She took a deep inhale as the memories resurfaced and brought back a fist of pain, pounding against her heart, "...he was there when my mother got cancer and I didn't know what to do about the fact that my mother was dying, a-and my father,"
She sobbed even harder, "he just became this cold and distant person. When he looked at me, I could tell somehow, that he blamed me, and the closer my mother got to death the further he wanted me from him...when I needed him the most, he pushed me away," She was clutching at his shirt now, clenching Idris tightly to her for the reinforcement and strength she needed, because remembering it all made her feel like she couldn't breathe, like the world was trying to take her under and he was the only thing keeping her afloat.
"I think my father, my real father, died the day my mother's heart stopped beating, and I watched as he slowly faded into a ghost. I tried to understand him when he would lock himself in his room for days, when he would come home piss drunk and hurl every insult in the book at me...but he just got worse, and worse, and worse, until I stopped making excuses for him when he finally struck me, not just once, not just twice..." Her breaths came out as more of a hiccup, "I let him because it took me a long time to realize that my mother's death was not my fault...and you know who was there to pick up the pieces," She whimpered,
"Henry was there through it all, because when I needed a place to hide, his room was my shelter, his arms were my safety, and his shoulder was there for me to cry on...So what if he doesn't understand Idris? What if he only sees that the girl he opened his heart to, the girl he asked to run away with him, to go far and away from a father who abused her, is leaving him after everything he's done...what if I break him?"
"Alixandria," Idris leaned away, he removed her hands from her eyes and cupped her face, wiping beneath her lash. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but believe me when I say that Henry can heal if you end things, but what I don't think he could recover from, is finding out when it's too late, that your love was held together by a debt. If you love him too, then you owe it to him to be honest, and he to you, and if you truly love each other," His gaze slightly dropped before he caressed her cheek and gave her a small smile, "then you will work it out, but as for you," He took both her hands in his.
"You don't ever have to worry about being alone, because I'll be here for you, Camilla will be here for you, shit even Ben will be here for you," He smiled, and she chuckled slightly as tears still ran down her cheek.
"I do love him, you know."
Idris sighed as he gazed down at her, "I know Alix." he leaned back in his seat, "which is why you should go."
"What?" She felt as if his words were an arrow flung into her chest.
"You clearly have things you need to work out and I want you to be able to do that...I want you to do what is best for you."
It took Alixandria a moment before she could move, because as she stared at Idris, she realized he was setting himself aside and letting her go. And even though her body cried out, even though their bond made her want to rush him and remain at his side she knew she needed to go, because there would be no future for her if she was still stuck in the past.
So, with a heavy heart, she grabbed her bag and keys, opened the door, and stepped out into the rain. Idris was by her side in the next instant, but he didn't approach, if only gave her an encouraging smile as she made her way to her car, and he leaned against the hood of his.
Each step she took was accompanied by a welt in her soul, as the magic of their bond, the magic that had brought them together, made her chest ache as she walked away.
Idris had once told her that as a vampire he could feel their bond tenfold, so she couldn't help but wonder what it must be like for him to watch her walk away.
Her hand paused over her car's handle as she felt a new sensation, and despite herself, she turned to watch him, drenched in rain, as his green eyes followed her, and for a moment that was all they did.
"Why?" She asked, because she knew that letting her go was not a simple act and yet he had done so, regardless of the fact that he may lose her.
Idris smiled, making her heart lap against her ribs, and her blood flow warm, and her belly swarm with butterflies, but none of that prepared her for the words that left his lips as his gaze blazed with nothing but heat.
"Because I love you, Alixandria...and it's because I love you, that I know I can't be selfish with you. I want you to be happy, whether it's with me, or someone else."
Damn, her knees weakened and she thought the beat of her heart would make her melt, but before she knew what she was doing, her legs had moved, and ran, until she was within his arms, smashing against his chest, and a flame burned oh-so-hotly around them, as Idris took her by the waist and used his other hand to lift her and wrap her around his torso.
"This isn't goodbye you know." She stroked the wet hair from his face and smiled when his green-gray eyes met hers in surprise.
"No?" He chuckled, holding her tightly as she placed her hand on his chest.
"No, because I know I should let him go too." She suddenly surprised him by saying. "I don't think I'm the only one that has been playing house. I love Henry but the truth is, I'm not upset at seeing him with another woman because for the last couple of years, we have been done and I think it's just been hard for either of us to move on and let go of what's familiar, but after tonight, I think it's also clear that he too, feels indebted to me in some way. I've just been too blind to see it."
"So then?" his brows furrowed, gaze sailing from her eyes to her lips.
Alixandria closed her eyes to the feel of his heartbeat beneath her palm and leaned forward until her forehead rested on his, and their lips were a hair's breadth away.
The force of the pull came to life and like a vine, snaked its way over her body making everything tingle to life; the way he held her against him, the rain pelting over their bodies, how much they both needed and wanted each other.
She'd felt the force of the pull take over her body before, but this was different, her body felt physically different, humming all over from head to toe, as a wave of desire washed over her body, just as his lips had slightly pressed against hers.
"Idris," She sighed at the fire that sparked against her lips and left her breathless.
"It's the pull, Alix, it's pushing us to bond."
Her hands slid around his neck, grasping into the roots of his hair, as the heat of his voice made her tremble, made her mind swirl, "b-bond?"
"Yes, Alix, it's like uniting our souls officially as one." The huskiness of his voice caressed her spine, and she could barely understand what he was saying as her heart was drumming so hard, she could hear it in her ears.
"I need to do what's right." She meant to pull away but instead found herself pulling him closer.
"I know." He spoke against the skin of her lips.
"I should..." She spoke but could no longer find the words when the feelings engulfed her, "I should g-go," but instead her lips pressed into his, and the world around her vanished, all that existed in that moment was her, in his arms, against his rough lips that shattered her mind.
She intertwined her fingers around his neck, holding on for fear her soul would leave her body, because the second their lips touched, she felt like she had floated away, and was watching her body from somewhere up above, until Idris moved with her in his arms and the next instant, her back was against the soft cushion of the back of his car.
Thunder struck, and heavy rain smashed all around them, as her breaths turned to heated moans at the way his touch sent an elicit stroke of thunder all over her body. And her chest swelled as she opened her eyes.
Idris lay above her, nestled between her legs, mouth parted and red from kissing her like a starved man, and she could see the heat in his green eyes, the drunk on lust gaze that told her he felt it too, the pull, that took their breaths away and once more their lips met, soft at first, until her hands gripped the roots of his hair and his hand slid from her waist to grip her thigh.
"I want you," Alixandria said when she was finally able to pull away from the kiss as her body had grown so hot, she could barely stand her clothes. Even the car windows had severely fogged.
Idris stopped kissing around her neck and jaw and anchored his eyes on her, devouring her beauty, peeling the last of her restraint away and replacing it with soothing desire, "Are you sure, Alixandria?"
Her lips against the flesh of his throat was the answer he sought, he never intended for things to turn this way and in fact, he thought, as she had walked out his car, and back toward hers, that she would not return, when in fact she had paused, and to his surprised rushed him in an embrace, wrapped her legs around him before finally, she kissed him.
And the moment her lips had touched his, she'd set his heart on fire. His body burned, the clarity of his mind faded behind the desire that swept through him like a current. Her body was his paradise and before he knew what he'd done, he had her back against the car seat, running his hands over every smooth surface of her body.
He'd settled his hands against her thigh, wanting nothing more than to tear apart the net stocking on her legs, as her breaths became huskier, her kisses more desperate until she'd finally pulled away from his lips, and he'd sought the tender flesh of her neck, enjoying the sounds of desire that escaped her lips, but it was nothing compared to the way she whimpered her need for him, nothing compared to the look in her eyes, filled to the brim with nothing but immense desire for him.
He felt entranced, at the way her small soft lips were parted for each breathy moan, the way her hair splayed around her beautiful face, and the way each soft curve of her body swelled with heat against him.
No, he could hardly hold back from devouring his beautiful mate. He'd tried, but could not stop his lips from planting against her body again and again, he could not stop his ears from sending shivers down his spine from each delicious moan she let slip, nor could he will his hands to cease their exploration of her sensuous curves.
However, she was his mate, and she deserved the luxury of laying against his bed as he took her, not in the back seat of his car. Yet, as she raked her fingers against his back and through his hair, as her soft lips invited him to her warm mouth, as her body quivered beneath him, he realized that trapped beneath the tuff and turmoil was a deeply captivating beauty...and he was captivated.
He'd never been so entranced by a woman, and yet with a single touch, his body ignited.
"I want you," She'd muttered between a hasty breath and before he could even finish asking her if she was sure, she'd planted gentle kisses along his throat, luring him away from his thoughts and pressing him back against her body.
Idris found her lips and kissed her until there was no beginning and end to their tongues and she in turn, ran her hands under his shirt, her cold hands burned against his flesh making him hiss, yet both fell into a chuckle.
Shirts off, soft chuckles between equally soft moans, and stolen glances, they undressed... until her sensually nude body ached and quivered beneath his solid and firm figure.
He bent low, so as to press his forehead against hers. Her lips parted as their eyes connected and Idris had to once more force himself to stop his more primal urges from taking over, because the way Alixandria looked beneath him, made him clench all over with desire.
"Are you ready?"
By some miracle, he was able to stop himself from simply plunging himself into her, even though her heat called for that hard place between his legs to claim her, but he needed to be sure she wanted this.
His lips hovered against hers as her body squirmed for contact below him. Her body felt warm and even hotter between her core. His rigid erection further hardened, feeling the need to plunge deep within her, and yet he could not take his eyes off her, off her beauty, her smile, her eyes that sparkled with desire for him.
"Yes," She nodded her head as her hand came to rest on his cheek.
He leaned into her touch, driving her hand over his lips where he kissed it before she placed it on his chest where she could feel the beat of his heart, strong and fast, beating as frantic as her own.
Alixandria was certain, as her eyes caught his, and his smile stole her soul, that she wanted this.
Carefully, he took the hand on his chest and intertwined it with his before taking the other and doing the same. Alixandria could only watch as he moved between her, mesmerized by his every touch and action.
She had never felt like this, but the passion that dwelled within her grew far and wide as he held her, caressing her not just with his hands, but his eyes. And once she'd nodded her head, and he'd intertwined their hands, her heart began to patter as his hardness pressed against her core.
There was no going back, and she didn't want to. She wanted to be his. To feel his body take her, as his. She wanted to be loved by him. She wanted him to ease her back into reality. She wanted everything; a life, a family, marriage, and as her mind swirled with the possibilities, she'd gasped. Clutched her hands hard against his hold as he'd entered her.
"Alixandria,"
"Idris,"
He grunted. She moaned.
Her hands left his as her body arched and she found the strength of his back, gripping her fingers against the flesh as he pushed forward and up, plunging himself deeper and deeper within her.
She held on as he speared every inch of himself against each unyielding part of herself. Opening her like petals of a flower, and she felt as if her soul was blooming to life.
Pleasure began to ease over her body as she relaxed, stretching herself all the way over that part that ingrained into her and awoke a part of her she'd long not remembered. It flourished within her chest and spilt from her lips with pants and kisses.
She closed her eyes as she gave him her body completely.
Idris clenched his jaw, struggling against her soft core clenching against him. The sensation already too much, and yet not enough. She was everything he'd desired and more. The shadow of her body, the soft curves that called for his mouth as he opened her up to him, made it impossible to shake away the sensation aching up his body.
But he could not stop. He'd ran his hand under the feminine arch of her back and cinched her closer against him. Pressed each curve and swelling bust plush against his flesh, which equally tamed, yet set the beast within him aflame.
'This isn't goodbye you know,' her words reaffirmed his hope that once and for all he could be hers and she would be his. It reaffirmed that perhaps, he could forgo centuries of pain, because what he hadn't told her was that each vampire is destined to have a mate, and each year they go without their mate, the bond begins to develop into an agonizing pain that can only be relieved by finding their mate...and even worseâhe held her tightlyâ if a bond was broken, he would be left with a broken bond that would eventually kill him.
Nonetheless, as she lay beneath him, running her hands down his back, calling his name, surrendering her lips, her body, her womanhood, he knew there was a chance she could leave. So, even if it were just for this moment, he held her like she was eternally his, kissed her like she was his, made love to her like she was his.
Alixandria wrapped her arms around his neck as his thrusts drove her up. Her gentle kisses beckoned to nip at his lips as he grew harder and faster, and she gasped and panted, locked into his eyes, enraptured by his grunts, the tension coiled in his muscles, the possessive way he locked their bodies and embedded himself deep within her. In that moment, the world, the car, the ground and the heavens were no more.
"Idris,"She cried out, tears at the edges of her eyes, when he'd stroked against her womb. "Tell me I am yours."
"You are mine." He kissed her chest, her neck, her lips, her cheek.
"And tell me you are mine."
"I am completely yours, Alixandria. Till my end, I am forever yours." Her lips caught his as they worked and moved as one. Between soft moans, pelting rain, and drips of sweat, their souls intertwined in an equally moving dance.