CHAPTER 16 - Love is tough

Hemanth's eyes widened "H-how did you--? Am I obvious?"

When Karthik nodded, he continued "I don't even remember when I fell for her"

Karthik wanted to ask if the feeling's mutual but he didn't dare to; not sure of what he wanted to hear.

"Don't worry, she never saw me that way" Hemanth answered as if he understood his inner struggle.

"Did she know? um that you loved her?"

Hemanth chuckled humorlessly "I never told her. But, she knew"

"What happened then?"

"I understood she didn't see me that way. So, I never made a move"

"Really? Is that why you left her? I mean, why you left to US?"

He nodded "Yeah. One day, she gushed to me about how much she loved another guy and--- it devastated me. That's when I decided to leave the country"

"She loved another guy?" Karthik voiced his surprise.

"No. I think she only told that to make me realize, my dream of 'trying to win her one day' is going to be fruitless"

"Wow. She is---"

"Yeah. The perfect friend one can ever get. She didn't want me to waste my life thinking about her. She knew I would be hurt but still, didn't want to lead me on"

"You think she did the right thing?" Karthik asked slowly. He can't imagine the pain that Hemanth had to go through.

"If she never wanted me to be anything apart from her friend, then yes. It's useless trying to be her everything when she only wanted me to be her best friend" he said dejectedly.

"What did she say about your decision to leave?" Karthik asked frowning.

"She never said a thing but I saw the hurt in her eyes. I think she too knew I can only get over her if I stayed away"

"You know what surprises me?" Karthik started in a thoughtful tone "The two of you not talking aloud about your feelings. May be, there would've been a different outcome if you did"

Hemanth shook his head "I never said she never tried to love me. She might have tried to see me the way I saw her and she might not be successful. It must be as tough for her to try that as it is to me to stop loving her"

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know her as much as I know me and the same thing goes for her too. We don't need the other person to verbally tell their feelings"

"So.. Umm, you still love her?" Karthik asked doubtfully.

"It's easy to fall in love, but to stop loving is very tough" He replied sadly "All my life, my only vocation was to see her happy which I succeeded too for some time. I never let her through anything alone, never let her cry, never let her get hurt and never made her feel left out"

I made her go through all of that pain, I am such an idiot, Karthik thought bitterly. He really wished he was as good as Hemanth.

"So.. You said you never let her cry. Does that mean.. um, she never cried?" Karthik questioned, narrowing his eyes at him.

"You mean apart from the crying sessions of watching films?" When Karthik chuckled, he continued "No, she never cried. In fact, she never had a reason to. Her dad would do anything for her; I've never seen him angry at her even if she did the most stupidest thing. And I was there too, all her life to protect her from any trouble"

"Like a prince?" Karthik added, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Nah. Since she thought of me as a brother, I can't say that" he added jokingly.

Both of them sat in silence facing the TV which is still ON with the match going on.

"Do you think India will win?" Hemanth asked, his eyes glued to the screen.

"It's tough. After all, the Australian Cricket team is one of the best in the world" Karthik answered truthfully.

"Can I ask you something?" Hemanth started awkwardly.

"Yeah?"

"Is Sindhu fine? I mean... um I feel like she's not the same person"

Karthik's eyebrows shot up "What do you mean?"

"Umm.. You know, the last time I talked to her-- on her birthday, I felt something's off. I was worried about her and so I decided to check up on her"

"You travelled from US to India just because you were worried about her?" Karthik questioned in a surprise tone.

"Well, if you put it that way it sounds very stupid. But, yes. I called her dad and he said everything's fine. He said the first year of marriage will be tough but everything's going to be alright blah blah blah. So, umm my point is --- Is everything alright? I mean I know that you are a good person but I am still worried about her"

No, I am a very bad person. I have hurt her so much, I made her cry, Karthik thought guiltily.

"Even today, I didn't see that bright smile that's always on her face. She looks different"

"Well, we have --- problems, just like any other couple. But, everything will be fine" When Hemanth still looked doubtful, he added "I will take care of her, don't worry. I will not let anything happen to her. You can trust me" At least from now on, I am going to be there for her.

Hemanth nodded, looking happy and soon they were joined by Sindhu for lunch. Even, Karthik enjoyed spending time with the two friends. He understood what Hemanth meant when he saw her smile heartily. It must be the same smile that Hemanth has fallen in love with and may be the same one that he is falling for.

Once Hemanth left their house, taking his number, he closed the door and went to where Sindhu was sitting on the couch.

"I heard your conversation" she said softly, not meeting his eyes.

"How much did you hear?" he mumbled guiltily.

Pulling her legs up to her chest, she wrapped her hands around her knees "Only the part where he said I tried loving him"

"Is it true then?"

She nodded sadly "I thought of him as a brother till I was seventeen or eighteen. It was only after that, I realized he is not. I understood that he is in love with me; I tried desperately to love him the way he did because I didn't want to see him hurt. But, I couldn't."

"It must be really tough for him; to be with you every second of your life and yet, stay faraway"

"Yes, it was. It was only after that, I lied to him that I love someone else. I didn't know what to do to change his mind."

"I don't understand one thing. He was your friend---" Before Karthik could continue, Sindhu added "He still is my friend; my only friend"

He nodded with a frown "Ok. So, he is your friend and he knows you more than anyone else. Isn't that good enough to marry him? Don't they say friendship is the basis of a good marriage?"

"If he was only like a friend to me, then may be yes. But he was not. He was family, someone I grew up with since I was three. Someone who stayed in my house and considered my family as his. He was like a brother I never had"

"Stop calling him brother when he is in love with you" he said in an irritated tone.

"You think it was my mistake? You think I don't love him?" she retorted.

"You love him? But you said ---"

"I never said I don't love him but yes, I am not in love with him. I can never be" she stated dryly.

"What's the difference?" he questioned, looking at her like she was mad.

She groaned "Look, I love my dad too. But that doesn't mean I feel ok with marrying him" she scrunched up her nose in disgust for such a terrible example as she added "When Hemanth touches or hugs me, I feel comfortable; like I am home. I would feel the same thing with my mom or dad"

"I can't marry him because I know that I can never make him happy. I love him and he doesn't deserve such a life"

When Karthik still looked puzzled, she added "Hemanth and I love to eat at paradise. We love to watch Hollywood action films and we love go karting. If two persons have too many similarities that they love to spend time together, doesn't mean they are in love. Having said that, I don't mean to say, to be in love the two have to be different"

"When you are in love, nothing matters. You'd do anything for that person even though you hate to do it. You might not have a single similarity but nothing stops the two of you from being together forever. You make each other complete"

"So, you mean to say best friends can't be in love" Karthik voiced his doubts, still looking confused.

"I never said that. I was not even saying that two similar people can't be in love. I was just saying, all those things really don't matter if you are in love. If I didn't know Hemanth since I was a kid and he is just someone I met during my college, then maybe I would have fallen in love with him"

"You miss Hemanth, right? It has to mean something"

"I miss him, as a friend. It's because I was so used to him all my life. Not because I am in love with him or something"

"It's confusing" he said with a puzzled look.

"It's not if you really understand it" She got up from the couch and made way to her room.

The more Karthik thought about Sindhu's words, the more they made sense. He can't help but think about Tulasi.

He felt comfortable with her because they were similar in a lot of ways; they enjoyed doing the same things. For two years, they were together which made him miss her so much after her marriage.

Was he never in love with Tulasi?

He never felt jealous of Tulasi's husband or her guy friends for that matter.

Then, why is it different with Sindhu? Why did he feel like ripping that guy's throat in Manali or felt so uncomfortable seeing her with Hemanth.

Why was he so---- jealous?

Though he sympathized with Hemanth, he was also glad that Sindhu didn't feel anything for him. If she did, then she would never be in his life and he didn't want that.

---

Thank you so much for reading guys...

Don't forget to Vote, Comment and Share..

Do you agree with Sindhu? This chapter is all about their feelings. Did I clear all of your doubts about why Sindhu couldn't love Hemanth the way he did?

Sindhu didn't say that best friends can't be in love and I am not saying that too. Common, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is my all time favorite film..

Do you think Karthik is close to being in love or is he already in love?

Next chap is going to be amazing, I promise.

- JANAKI S