Chapter 47

***

During dinner, Xia Feng didn’t go out to An An’s dinner party. Instead, he was at the western restaurant just outside the hospital with Yu Dong, eating steak.

Yu Dong looked at Xia Feng from across the table and couldn’t help but laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” After ordering, Xia Feng saw Yu Dong laugh, so he had to ask.

“I remember the first time I asked you to have dinner with me, it was to this restaurant.” Yu Dong answered with a smile.

Here? Xia Feng carefully thought back, but couldn’t remember a time he was here with Yu Dong before tonight. “How come I don’t remember?”

“Because you didn’t come at all.” Yu Dong’s tone became a little disgruntled. “I told you to bring some money over, and you sent someone else.”

“Oh…that time…” Xia Feng remembered, “The Dean happened to be looking for me so…anyway, it was my fault.”

Xia Feng’s face was apologetic.

Yu Dong put her chin on her hand and lazily said, “Forget it, you didn’t like me very much at the time, I was still in the middle of pursuing you.”

The pair continued to chat for a while before the waiter served their steaks.

The two began to cut up their food. When Xia Feng was halfway done, he suddenly raised his head to look at Yu Dong skillfully cutting her own steak.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Yu Dong saw him staring and asked, stopping her movements.

“I was just thinking…my wife is really capable.” Xia Feng answered with a smile. “You cut the steak so well I can’t take the opportunity to show off.”

Yu Dong looked down to her steak mostly cut up, then towards Xia Feng’s cut up steak. Looking towards Xia Feng’s smiling face, she suddenly remembered Xia Feng’s words the first time he picked her up from work.

It was raining that day. Xia Feng held an umbrella over them, his voice gentle as he looked at her: “You don’t always have to act so brave. Girls who act a little more spoiled are more attractive.”

Yu Dong blinked away the memory. Placing her knife and fork down, she smiled and said: “I suddenly lost all my strength. It looks like you’ll have to help me cut up the rest of my steak.”

“Sure!” Xia Feng nodded and took Yu Dong’s plate to cut the rest of her steak diligently.

Looking at him, Yu Dong suddenly realized something. Feeling a little unhappy, she snorted and asked: “Did you always help An An like this?”

“I’m not happy.” It didn’t even take a minute for Yu Dong to cave.

Xia Feng gently placed her plate back in front of Yu Dong. “From now on, I’ll only cut for you.”

“I don’t believe you.” Yu Dong knew that she was acting jealous. She probably sounded small and difficult.

“Dong Dong, look at me.” Xia Feng patiently waited for Yu Dong to look up, and then he said: “I don’t have a lot of strong points, but if I promise you something, I’m going to try my hardest to keep it.”

His words seem to wash away the vinegar in Yu Dong’s heart.

“Eat now, you still need to swap with Xiaoyue later.” Compared to Xia Feng’s sincerity, Yu Dong felt like she was being unreasonable. Embarrassed, she bowed her head and started to eat.

Xia Feng knew that Yu Dong had finally pardnoned him, so he smiled and stretched out to wipe Yu Dong’s sauce stained mouth with a napkin.

An An raised her hand that held a key, laughing she said: “The spare key is still in its usual place.”

Xia Feng put down the slides in his hand and approached An An. He raised a hand and took back the key from her.

At Xia Feng’s actions, An An’s face looked torn. Trying to lighten the mood, she changed the subject: “Are you still experimenting on tumors?”

“Un.” After Xia Feng retrieved the spare key, his head remained bowed as he checked the data. The faster he finished, the faster he could go home.

“How many experiments has it been? Is your data promising?” An An reached out to take the laboratory logs beside Xia Feng.

On An An’s fair and exquisite fingers, a luxurious diamond ring twinkled. The sparkle caught Xia Feng’s eye and when he saw the ring, he froze.

After taking a deep breath, Xia Feng finished the last of the data, stood up, and turned to An An, reaching out to her.

An An looked at the familiar hand streched out towards her, then gave him the laboratory logs she had been looking at.

Xia Feng took the offered papers, put it back on the desk, but again extended his hand towards An An.

“Didn’t I just give it back?” An An was puzzled.

“That wasn’t what I was asking for.” Xia Feng’s eyes turned to An An’s right hand.

When An An realized what Xia Feng was insinuating, she turned pale and clasped her hand. With disbelief all over her face, she asked Xia Feng: “You want to take it back?”

“Yes,” Xia Feng nodded.

“But you gave it to me.” An An shook her head.

“But you no longer have the right to wear it.” Xia Feng calmly said, “Give it back to me.”

“Did she ask you to do this?” An An questioned. She knew Xia Feng’s personality best, it was impossible for him to do this kind of thing.

“Dong Dong doesn’t know about any of this, but…I don’t want her to misunderstand.” It was just the two of them here, so Xia Feng felt that he could be more direct and truthful.

“But originally…” An An wanted to talk about how much he longed for her to accept this ring, but…

“I took the ring back then. I accepted it. Wasn’t the meaning obvious enough?” An An suddenly felt resentful, “I took the ring, but why did you marry someone else?”

“An An…” Xia Feng didn’t want to talk about the past because it would just make it hard for both of them, make them relive past hurts: “Give it back, it doesn’t belong to you anymore.”

“It’s mine.” An An covered the ring and looked at Xia Feng, upset. She didn’t seem to understand why Xia Feng was doing this to her.

Xia Feng looked at An An and suddenly felt tired. Being further tangled with the other wouldn’t be good for either one of them.

Xia Feng retracted his hand and looked at An An with an indifferent expression: “Do you still remember how you got that ring in the first place?”

An An’s peach blossom eyes were filled with tears. Xia Feng truly felt pity, but his heart long ceased to beat for her: “We dated for three years. I went to all the different jewelry stores in Shanghai to find you a ring. I wanted to put it on your finger, but you said you were too busy with work and your studies, so you didn’t want to get married.”

“Half a year later, you graduated. I thought that your workload you be lighter, so I took the ring and went to find you…you replied that you took part in some scientific research…that you were even busier than before…” Xia Feng looked at An An’s diamond ring and quietly said, “From then on, that ring lost its original meaning.”

After listening, An An couldn’t help but cry out: “But I really was busy.”

“The third time, you took the ring but left me in front of the Civil Affairs Bureau. You said…you said you needed to go abroad to study. That you would take the ring, and when you finally wanted to get married, you would come back with it.” Xia Feng looked at An An with a self-deprecating expression, “I was never in any of your future plans. At that moment, I felt like a beggar on my knees, rather than a man asking your hand in marriage.”

“I’m not, it’s not…are you still blaming me for not visiting auntie? I was ready to go, I had presents ready…” An An anxiously looked for something to say.

“But in the end, you didn’t visit even once.” Xia Feng said.

“That’s because you didn’t come get me, how can I just go alone? How could I walk up to them without you?” An An helplessly explained.

“Then why didn’t you ask me?” Xia Feng couldn’t help but point this out.

“I…I…” An An suddenly widened her eyes and grabbed Xia Feng’s arm: “You still care about me, don’t you?”

“No!” Xia Feng stepped away from An An and told her seriously: “An An, I’ll tell you this: Our problems already existed for a long time. In fact, if it weren’t for my mother’s illness, I don’t think I would’ve ever proposed to you a third time.”

“I don’t believe you.” An An was so shocked, her eyes full of incredulity.

I don’t know why I feel so guilty, I dare not publicize my receipt…

I don’t want to write An An for a few days, ah…I feel like I’m committing a crime……/(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

***

We finally understand Xia Feng’s thoughts and why he acted like he did. While they were together for four years, miscommunication and neglect hurt him a lot more than he showed. When he broke up with her, he was sad, but he was hurt for so long, to Xia Feng it probably felt like he was doing the inevitable.

He tried to be accommodating, taking the initiative, but An An didn’t do the same. She didn’t even bother visiting his mother.

An An probably thought he’d be fine waiting for her forever.

After I read this, I imagined Xia Feng’s heart quietly breaking after the second failed proposal and now I want to hug and protect our shoujo heroine.

Yo, getting rejected is painful enough, imagine getting your MARRIAGE PROPOSAL rejected three times.

I feel like Xia Feng became reckless and accepted Yu Dong’s proposal so easily was because even before the third proposal, he just didn’t feel the same way towards An An as he did before.