Chapter 33 - Astrid

"We need to be careful and smart about tracking Valentina," Rio declares as we make our way back to Guru's residence.

I watch as he walks ahead of me with Alex on one side and Guru on the other, absentmindedly biting my lip at the racy memories from a few hours before. His mark throbs and I palm it to ease the heat, suddenly aware that everybody will know what we did and how I got this.

But now's not the time to think about that as I shake my head and look all around me.

The devastation that impacted Sanctuary last night is hard to take in. Not only do the survivors trudge along the ashes from the fires that caught around their underground town hall, but even more tragic are those mourning at the loss of family from the unprecedented vampire attacks. I turn my gaze downward hoping nobody catches onto my now golden eye; there is a time for hope and a time for mourning.

Ahead of me, Rio is discussing the dire news he had just heard from Demi about the attacks on Crimson Storm and those sweeping across the middle east. He looks back at me frowning and sighs knowing that the Sun Goddess told me not to warn the other packs of the Mighty Five.

"I will keep Demi updated," he says. "But she won't know the rest of it. Fortunately, our fighters are always prepared for the worst. I hope the other packs' defences will hold them out till we find Valentina."

From my periphery, I notice Bianca swallowing hard. I worry for my parents back in Silver Bow.

"I'm sorry for everything," she quietly tells me.

I sigh. "I won't say it's okay, but I will say that the best thing to do now is look forward."

"Got it," she replies. "Congratulations, by the way."

She gestures at my neck and I reflexively try to cover it with the collar of my sweater. The redness of my face quickly intersperses to reach my ears and I laugh nervously.

"Thanks," I reply, avoiding eye contact.

Were this any other setting or occasion, I would have giddily told my best friend everything about my experience with the Lycan Alpha. The thing is, not only is he standing within earshot, but I'm still not ready to forgive Bianca for everything, and that's got my walls raise up a little.

"I'm happy for you, Astrid. I really am."

"I...I don't know if I can say the same to you," I bite my tongue, internally cursing at how horrible that sounded.

"It's okay," she nods. "I can't expect everyone to understand that I've changed."

I sigh, mincing over her words. Bianca seems so sure about this sudden change. I should at least be okay with it as a best friend. The last time something like this happened was when she announced her engagement to Rio, and I let it come between our friendship for so long that our last moments in Silver Bow were really shitty.

"You know what, I need to be happy for you too, B," I tell her as her eyes brighten up. "You're crazy for wanting to be a Sigma, but I guess I'm happy for you."

"Thanks?" she chuckles.

"The world as we know it may very well end soon and I'd hate to leave things on a sour note between us."

I look at her glassy green eyes. She purses her lips and nods in agreement. The movement of her unevenly trimmed blonde hair catches my eye.

"And maybe I'll clean up some of this," I say, flicking away a blonde lock.

She smiles and abashedly covers her face with her hands.

"I'll admit this was an impulsive decision," she shrugs.

"Yeah, but I think you wanted an edgy haircut for an edgy Sigma."

"Shut up," Bianca playfully nudges me.

We reach Guru's house where Alex lends a helping hand to Ganzorig in making tea. Rio starts the fire in the living room. As Guru takes a seat, he starts making small talk, despite the fatigue and tragedy plastered on his face. He tells Rio how glad he is that Ganzorig seems to be getting along quite well with Alex as he struggles in making friends in Sanctuary.

"When the Sun Goddess chose Ganzorig, he was more than willing to do her bidding," Guru says. "He's never gotten along well with other tigers, but with my wife's love and affection, he has learned to tolerate his brethren well."

"May I ask," Bianca speaks hesitantly, "about the story behind the scar on his face?"

"He doesn't talk about that much, but as you probably suspect, it was caused by a tiger."

Bianca sits back and nods, prodding the old man no further.

"Perhaps, Ganzorig can come along with us in tracking Valentina," Rio suggests. "We could use his help as a local of these lands."

"Then go with you, he will," Guru nods.

As tea gets served with a side of biscuits, Rio devises a plan to track down Valentina. When he tells Ganzorig that he's tagging along, his face grows with concern.

"The people of Sanctuary are quite vulnerable right now," he says. "And I would like to stay back to help rebuild it."

"I couldn't expect to keep you away from your home, but I was thinking you should consider rebuilding elsewhere," Rio suggests. "If Valentina comes back, that might be the end of Sanctuary. You're sitting ducks up here."

"Plus, the steep climb thousand-step climb leaves much to be desired," Alex quips.

"Where do you suggest we relocate?" Guru asks Rio.

So, Rio offers to pay for their lodging in the town below where they will be safer among the humans than isolated in this mountain. Guru seems hesitant at first. Then, Rio proposes to help them eventually rebuild near the town and provide financial assistance for the project. Guru asks where they will get the sort of money to repay for this, and Rio suggests that he will purchase several businesses in the town, loan them to the tigers and, in time, the profits should settle it, enough to even expand and grow Sanctuary to become a haven for fostering stronger tigers.

I sit back, keenly listening in on all of this and feel utterly useless. The Sun Goddess may have chosen me to receive this golden eye, but I can't shake the fact that I did not earn this through any merit of my own; only because Rio marked me. The only leadership experience I have is in manoeuvring a rowdy class of middle schoolers to harmonize in sync for band and orchestra. Synchronizing a group of tigers is a whole other thing.

With the agreement in place, Guru sends Ganzorig out to announce the exodus of their people during which the rest of us pack our bags for the journey ahead.

As we enter our room, I share with Rio my insecurities. He swings me around and holds me by my waist, staring deeply into my eyes. The pupil of his blue eye dilates.

"Astrid," he speaks softly, "you were chosen and through that virtue alone you are as capable as I to successfully lead the tigers. They already revere you enough as my destined mate."

I scoff. "That's my point exactly. They don't know me for me, they know me for you. Besides, I got pummelled like a ragdoll by Bianca yesterday. I literally don't have anything to show."

"Yet still, the Sun Goddess chose you." Rio strokes the side of my right eye, golden through the blessing of the Goddess. "And so did the Moon Goddess because you are my equal."

I smile at him, hoping he's right about that. All the Sun Goddess told me about our bond is how strange it is. Until I discover the truth, who's to say Rio isn't correct in assuming the purity of our bond.

This may be the fresh mark on my clavicle speaking, but as I stare deep into Rio's eyes and I breathe in his minty musk, I trust him in what he says, a hundred percent.

"And I choose you, Rio," I tell him sincerely. "You are my destined mate."

I step up on my tiptoes to kiss him, the electricity between us zapping me on and awake. This kiss feels just like that dizzying and unexpected feeling from that one fateful night at Oscura, except now I can let myself freefall and be washed over by his waves. And I let that wave wash over my worries, too.

Rio picks me up easily and brings me to the bed, taking off his sweater.

"Do we even have time?" I ask in consideration of our timeline while also drinking in the view before me.

"I'm up for the challenge," he says as he hooks his fingers onto the waistband of my pants. "Are you?"

The excitement behind his confidence—despite the exodus that awaits us outside—is hard to deny the very moment he kisses up and down the side of my neck. I nod in response and we tumble together.

At the start of our journey, most if not all of the elders were deeply scornful and objected to the big move, after all, they were some of the founding members and citizens of Sanctuary. But Guru delivered a rousing speech about how Sanctuary is not a place but a people.

"Do not be afraid," he said, "for the Sun Goddess watches over us."

At that, Guru gestured towards me, leaving me terribly self-conscious of my new golden eye. The crowd erupted in whispers and when I could think of nothing to do except humbly bow before them, the resounding cheer that followed made me realize that I could not fail these people. They finally relented to leaving their mountain sanctuary.

Somehow, yet again, I found myself in a position thrust upon me without a choice of my own. I fought against it so hard the first time, but I eventually caved into my undeniable feelings for Rio. Now, I must remind myself that I got this golden eye because of my connection with Rio. Everything that's happened has had a reason. No matter how uncomfortable that makes me feel, I must carry out my duties to the best of my abilities.