14| Apologies

Chapter Fourteen

Alessio

I let out a breath, and listen to her even breathing that I would listen to for hours the nights I couldn't sleep. I used to run a finger over her cheek, at first she would immediately wake up but slowly she stopped. She stopped the sudden jolt, questioning where she was. She knew she was being cradled in my arms, and that she was safe.

I don't speak, but neither does she. How do we say what needs to be said. The silence is uneasy. We've never been this quiet, and in rare times, we are. It's a comforting silence with me, running a hand along her body, soaking in her touch.

"How are you?" Alice asks.

"Fine," I cough out. "Fine, very fine. I've been busy a bit."

"With Aria? I can't imagine with Charlie, he's an angel. It is Aria, right? I could have sworn I heard her when you first picked up."

I nod my head, "yes Aria. I never thought I would take on helping a twelve-year-old, it's a bit hard."

"I can't imagine, she was an angel with me."

"She's very selective with how she acts with people. With Odella, she acts like an angel but with Damien, she rightfully acts like a demon sent straight from hell." Alice laughs at my attempt at comedy. "But, Alice is quite the young lady. I enrolled her in school as you talked about, well sorta."

"Sorta?"

"Aria has a personal teacher that is catching her up so she can go to school next year or high school the following year. But, at the pace, she's going now. I won't be shocked if she goes back in a few months. She's really determined."

"I bet. That's the type of kid she is. Determined, blunt, and always up for a challenge. She's a good kid. I hope that we can guide her in life." I hang on to the word we. We, as in me and Alice.

"We?" I say against my better judgment.

"Yes, we. With me in here, you're all Aria has and it seems you're doing one hell of a job. Does she still eat like a construction worker?" I laugh, really laugh.

"Yeah, she does. She conned me into buying her a steak almost every day since you left."

"Veggies?" She asks.

"Yes, but she's on an ice cream ban."

"Good, good. I bet you didn't even take her to the dentist. But when I get out of here, you and her are going straight there. No questions asked." She stops speaking. I cannot hear her smile over the phone that I've come to expect like the sun rising in the morning.

"How is it there?" I manage to say.

"Incredibly boring," she mutters. "Everything seems to be made of plastic. I hate all the staff, and I'm pretty sure there's a guy here who has a crush on me." A crush? "I'm not interested or anything if that's what you worried about. He's not nearly as attractive as you and he's more obsessed with his next fix than me." Relief washes over my body. "He is pretty funny but I much prefer your dry humor."

"Dry humor? Are you saying I'm sarcastic?"

"Blunt," she laughs. "Blunt, and dare I say coy. Ask Leo, he knows what I'm talking about. You're a riot Alessio and you don't even know it."

"If you say so."

"Have you talked to my mom?"

"No, I haven't seen her in some time." Truth with a hint of a lie. I haven't seen her mother in some time but we talk almost every day, it's always the same topic-Alice. "Your mom's been working around the clock, probably filling her mind with everything but your situation."

"Yeah, that's mom. Work, work, work."

"Alice, I miss you. I miss you very much. I've been trying to visit you but..."

"I took you off the visitor's list," she finishes. "It's one of the few rights I have even with my mother as my guardian still."

"I wanted to see you. Hell, I wanted to see you the moment you left the house."

"Yeah, I bet. You know, I was really pissed with you up until an hour ago give or take. You let the cops and my mom shipped me off to some loony bin where they pump me full of drugs and feed me nothing I would eat in a million years."

"I'm sorry," I mutter. "I- I didn't know what to do and Dr.Avery suggested it."

"It's okay Alessio. I'm not...anymore that is."

"And why, why is that?"

"Because, I realize I love you. And I think these meds are finally kicking in so I can think somewhat rationally. And also not to mention, a girl in group was talking about closure and I think I need that."

"I know." I close my eyes, merely listening to her sighs on the other side before she speaks. "And what does closure entails?"

"Part of me thinks, still to this day, after everything is having another child." I hold my breath. "But, that's not the case. Is it Alessio? I want to have a family with you," she simply states. "I want a happily ever after with a bunch of kids and Charlie."

"I know," I mutter. God, I know and I want that with you to Alice. But, your mind, this desperate need for a child is not good for you and me.

She lets out a huff, "When we lost her. I felt like total shit and I still do. But I wanna try. I wanna try to feel like less shit." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding as I heard her words. "So, I'm gonna try to work out whatever is going on in my head here. And when I get home, I hope I can take care of Aria and be with you Alessio because...I love you so much, Alessio. And I don't want you to leave me."

"I would never leave you," I say with no hesitation. "No matter what happens."

Alice chuckles over the phone. "The things I said to you. The things I made you go through. I could never apologize enough."

"You don't have to apologize."

"I do, a million times over and a million more." I lean against the cool brick of the restaurant building. "Alessio, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me. So, I'm gonna get better for not only myself but for you too."

"Can I come? Come to see you."

The line goes silent, "yeah. I would really love that. I hate to say not to bring Aria but I figured that it wouldn't be the best look, to you know...for her to see me here especially with how smart she is. She's gonna start asking questions and I-"

"I got it covered. I'll leave her at the office while she's being tutored."

"God, I can't wait until I see her. I'm thinking of adopting her...you know, giving her a forever home like in those movies."

"What a dream. A rich, no wealthy woman adopting her."

"Yeah, like Annie."

"Annie?" I don't think I've seen that one. But, I've never went out the way to watch movies unless I have to.

"Les? Are you serious? You've never seen Annie"

"No," I laugh. And this is it. The easiness, the way she can make me smile without a single thought.

"It's a hard knock life? God Les, we're adding it to the list."

"The list? It's already too long." The list, a sheet of paper that includes sixty, no sixty-one movies that Alice wants me to watch with her.

"And the more I get to know you, it's only getting longer. Get ready for another marathon babes," she laughs.

I groan, but it's fake. I will never not enjoy the feeling of her body on top of mine, laying on my chest. I will never not want to run a hand over her back and listen to her point out her favorite parts.

"I can hardly wait, Alice."

"Alice, it's time for lunch," I hear on the line.

"Shit," she mutters. "Les, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, Alessio," she says before the line goes dead.

I walk into the restaurant, with a now-empty plated Aria who is now feasting on my lunch. "Who wants ice cream?" I announce to Aria. I raise my hand to the waiter, "bring us both some ice cream and cake too."

Aria looks at me strangely and goes back to my plate of food.

~

"Alessio," she says as she seats in the passenger seat as we finally approach home. Four long weeks one everyday visit during the hours Aria was at school has brought her back to me. Alice completed her time there and was written off as going in the right direction with the right amount of medication and therapy three days a week.

"Yes?"

"We, should...I mean can you clean out the nursery? Or hire someone too. I don't think I can bear ano-"

"Done, it'll be done by tomorrow." I switch lanes and head for a nearby hotel.

"Wait? Where are we going?"

"To a hotel."

"What about Aria?"

"She can stay with Odella tonight," I murmur.

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