18

Hey lovely people!

So before you start reading here's a take, to my regular readers - voters, I missed last two days without updates, thanks to my periods, summer and migraine. I barely could look at the screen.

I am sorry for that :|

I am really grateful to everyone who reads and acknowledges the effort an author put in. I never put targets and all, because I hardly follow them. But, even after putting the efforts and not getting the votes or comments - the bare minimum. Really demotivates me...

Everyone who do, I am really thankful to you all. So if this continues, I will stop posting the edited version here on wattpad on regular basis, and it will be posted only on scroll stack that too paid. Then wattpad will have one update per week.

Even if there is just one person reading it there, atleast the work would get its value. I don't seek anything but if I am investing my time and energy in something, refining my work, I want it to be valued.

You can go with the emotional rollercoaster of the chapter 5k+ words it is -

∞Drive of feelings∞

Aradhaya Singh Rajvansh

How can he so easily pretend to be someone he is not? How can someone feign love when they actually don't feel it? Doesn't their conscience bother them? Don't they have a heart that can feel, if not love, then at least mercy for another person? Don't they have to face themselves in the mirror? Aren't they answerable to you, Mahadev? Don't they care that their lies and pretentious acts can destroy someone, break another person's heart into pieces? Why don't they care, Mahadev? Why?

One moment they act as if you are the dearest person to them, without whom they can barely survive. The next moment, they make you feel like a degraded part of their life, someone they can experiment with, treating your feelings and emotions as if they don't matter.

One moment he compared me to the sunshine and the moon. The next moment, I find out everything he did was just an act, a mere distraction. Is this all it was?

I crumbled the note he gave me in my hand as tears streamed down my face. How could I be so foolish to think that maybe what he said to me was genuine and not a facade? He can't do this to me! He can't! He has no right to!

I wiped the tears from my face and heaved a confident sigh. He needs to know that he needs to stop his nonsense and leave me alone!

I saw him walking to the corridor while on a call. I followed him. It was an empty hallway with barely anyone around since it was time for the vidai and everyone was busy preparing for it. I waited for him to finish his call. He hung up and turned to face me, his face relaxed, his eyes fell on me, and his lips stretched into a smile as he tried to take a step closer. "Dhaya," he called softly.

"Cut the act!" I snapped, my voice stern and clear. His facial muscles tightened.

"What act?" he asked, confusion apparent in his eyes.

"Don't you feel tired of all these pretenses?" I waved my arms in frustration, anger surging through me.

"What are you talking about?" He tried to step closer, but I stepped back.

"Stop it, Rudransh! Just stop it!" My voice grew louder as my nails dug into my palms.

"Dhaya! What happened, love?" he asked, his voice soft and concerned, but I couldn't let myself believe it.

"Just like seven years ago, Rudransh, you made me believe you loved me and cared for me. But it was all an act then, and it's an act now. Don't you get tired of this? I don't know how much energy you have, but I can't take it anymore. Please stop it." My lips quivered as my words turned into sobs, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Dhaya, do you really think my love for you is an act?" he whispered, wiping my tears with his thumb.

"I don't want to think anything, Rudransh. I can't control my thoughts. Sometimes I think you genuinely love me, but then I remember a selfish person can't love. You broke me once, and now you want to do it again." His face hardened at my words as his hands dropped from my cheeks.

"My love is not an act, Dhaya. It never was. I don't know what I did to make you feel like that. I love you, Dhaya. I always have, and I always will. For me, love is only you." He took a breath, his eyes pleading.

"Stop it!" My voice grew louder as I covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out his lies.

"Dhaya!" He stepped closer, holding me by the shoulders. "I loved you, Rudransh. I really loved you with everything I had. You were everything I wanted, but that day you broke me beyond repair. Even if I wanted to, I can't love you again. Please stop playing with my heart. Stop making me believe that you are the same person I once loved, because you are not. I was a fool before, and I'm proving to be one now. Please stop it! I never begged anyone in my whole life—my family never allowed me to—but I beg you today, please don't do this." I hiccuped, speaking through my sobs. I saw his eyes pool with tears and watched as they fell.

"I don't know what pleasure you get from hurting me, from playing with me. I had accepted that you are a cheater, and I have no complaints left with you. Please stop this act of loving me. Love is not something you pretend to feel. Stop making fun of it. It is much more than your words. Don't use them unless you mean them. Don't give me your nonsense when you have such petty motives to win a game." I pulled back, slapping the crumpled note against his chest. He caught my hand and the paper before it fell to the ground.

"I don't know what makes you think that I am a cheater when I've done nothing to make you believe so—" He started weaving another web of lies, but I cut him off, yelling.

"Shut up! Just shut up! I don't want to hear from you. I made it clear to you. I'm leaving now." I could barely stand him anymore. I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my wrist again, this time not pulling me back, just holding me as my back faced his.

"You left the box on the table. Abhir found it while sorting the gifts and didn't realize it was Shravan's shoes. Whatever I said to you, or expressed to you, was my heart put into words. And it is anything but a lie." He sighed, and his words pierced my heart.

"Not another lie," I whispered, and he pulled me back.

"Why do you think that I am always lying?" His eyes darkened, and his words grew stern.

"Because I don't trust you," I retorted, wiping my cheeks and trying to get away.

"Even if it takes my life, I will make you trust me again." I halted, but having no answer for him, I walked away We waited for Ridhima bhabhi to finish the vidai rituals. Aahana stood beside me and sighed deeply. "Abhir won this bet by pure luck," she muttered. I chuckled, turning to her. "How is it luck, Aahana, when they clearly played well with their brains?" Confusion crossed her face as she eyed me.

"No, but he told me. He accidentally mixed the shoe box with the other gift boxes, probably when you stumbled across them. Otherwise, they would have lost the game already." Her explanation left me speechless.

"Aru, what happened?" She shook my arm lightly, and I met her eyes. "Didn't they plan to help me and get the shoe box?" My words were barely a whisper, and she shook her head.

"No, nothing like that happened. He even said that only Ruhi and he realized one of the gift boxes got exchanged with the shoe box. Aru, why would they plan such a thing? It's too petty, and I think they're better than that." Her words echoed in my ears, sending shivers of regret through my body.

"Aahana, I think I screwed up." She held my arm, pulling me toward the cars waiting at the porch. "What happened?"

"I thought Rudransh distracted me by saving me from falling so he could take the shoes." Her eyes widened.

"I hope you didn't accuse him of it, because that's really baseless." She waved her hands, chuckling, but her expression grew serious when she saw mine.

"Okay, you did. Did you say something you shouldn't have?" I nodded, and she sighed. "I don't know what I said, oh god, but it was so foolish and immature of me." I pulled my hair in frustration, and she hushed me.

"Let's not talk here. Why don't we take the car back home? We'll get a good long drive." She suggested, but I knew it would be tough to convince my brother. I nodded and saw my brother approaching. "Bhai, can I ask you something?" He arched an eyebrow at me, smiling a little. "Sure, princess." His eyes moved between mine and Aahana's faces.

I gave him a wide smile. "Promise me you won't say no!" He scoffed, shaking his head.

"If it's a legitimate request, I won't say no," he replied.

"No, please promise." I whined, holding his little finger—his weakness. "What is it, Aru?" he asked, tiredly.

"First, make the promise." He blinked, looking at Aahana, who masked her expressions well.

"Okay, I promise." I sighed at his words, biting my lip to make my request.

"Can we take your car back home? Just me and Aahana?" He shook his head the moment I spoke.

"Neither feasible nor safe," he clicked his tongue.

"But you promised me!" I whined, but he shook his head firmly.

"I am not risking either of your safety." His points were understandable, but we needed some time alone, and I needed some time to think.

"What about the Rajvansh promise? We never break that." I could only try.

"No promises before your safety. It's not even negotiable." His tone softened, and I could see our plan failing. But Aahana held my arm, stepping closer to me. Here came the drama of Aahana Khurrana.

"Please Bhai, it's been so long since I visited India. I don't know how long I'll be staying here. I just want to spend some time with my best friend. Please, can't we have this little privilege?" Has any man ever said no to Aahana's puppy eyes? None that I've encountered.

"Okay, but I have some conditions. You both will have a driver with you, a car of guards will follow you throughout, and you'll leave before us and try to reach on time without any extra stops." He listed his conditions, and we agreed to everything.

After finishing the last rituals, Aahana and I changed into our casual clothes and headed to the car for our well-guarded long drive. It was Bhai who convinced everyone, but in the end, everyone took the words of Aridhaan Singh Rajvansh seriously. I looked for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Guilt surged through me as I realized I might have bashed him without any good reason. Goddamn my impulsiveness.

"Okay, let's start from the beginning." Aahana munched on chips, turning toward me with one knee folded on the car seat and the other hanging down. I mirrored her position.

"When Yug Bhai gave me the shoe box to keep in the car trunk, I went to put it away securely. On the way, I stumbled over a folded mat and was about to fall, but he saved me." She nodded, listening carefully.

"Who saved you?" I wanted to slap her, but she was my only friend, thanks to my introverted self.

"Of course, Rudransh, Aahana." She chuckled and gestured for me to continue.

"He was being his usual self." She interrupted again, her hand pausing in the chip packet.

"What is his usual self?"

"I mean, the way he talks to me, the things he says as if they're true, the way he behaves as if he's genuine." She listened attentively, squeezing my hand gently to encourage me to go on.

"The shoes got exchanged with the gift boxes because I left in a hurry." I paused, recalling the moment. "After the wedding, I heard Abhir and Ruhi talking. They said if he hadn't stumbled into me, they wouldn't have gotten the shoes. The first thought that struck me was that he had played with me again. Whatever he said, his feelings, his love, it was all just a distraction. I don't know where the rage came from, but I went to confront him." I raised my eyes to see Aahana fully invested in my story, having forgotten her chips. "I told him he was pretending to love me, that none of it was true, and accused him of cheating." Aahana rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb while I gathered my thoughts.

"Aru, first of all, he didn't do anything to distract you. It was wrong to accuse him of something he didn't do." I nodded, knowing she was right.

"And secondly, what is going on between you two?" Her confused eyes met mine.

"I don't know." I whispered, and she squeezed my hand gently.

"Aru, from the day you met him, you've been stuck on the idea that you hate him and never want to see him again. But what is it really? Who are you convincing? Are you saying these things to make yourself believe it? Because I believe the opposite." My eyes welled up at her words. "And I know your accusations weren't just about the shoes."

"I don't know, Aahana, but when I saw him on the day of tilak, my first thought was to hug him, to cry against his chest, to tell him how much I missed him and how much he hurt me. But all those feelings faded when I remembered how he hurt me. When he says he loves me, cares for me, wants me, all I want to do is ask him where his love was when I needed it most. Didn't he want me when I needed him? Why didn't he care when I needed him to care? He just let me go, just like that." Tears streamed down my face as I recalled the night seven years ago. Aahana cupped my face, wiping away the tears.

"What was my mistake, Aahana? That I loved him and couldn't bear him leaving while he just let me go. If not then, why now? I wanted him then, Aahana. Even if I believe his love, how can I forget those distant eyes? How can I just let it all go?" My lips quivered as I struggled to speak. Aahana's eyes glistened with moisture.

"I know, Aru, it's not easy for you. Out of all the people, I saw you suffering without him, for him. And out of all the people, I want to murder him for causing my best friend this pain." She pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back.

"I hate it, Aahana! I hate it so much! I hate that no matter what he did, no matter how much I say I hate him, I just can't. I want to hate him, I should hate him. He broke my heart, he broke me, but I just can't hate him. When he says he loves me, all I want is to believe him. When he cares, all I want is to adore it. I don't know why, but everything in me wants to believe that these past years were just a bad dream. But then I look at my family. What was their fault, Aahana? They suffered because of my stupidity." I pulled away, breaking into sobs.

"No, Aru, they are your family. They love you." She tried to calm me down, wiping away my tears.

"Exactly, Aahana. They love me, and what did I do? I couldn't stand their concerned looks, so I left them. I hurt them by leaving. The guilt of being selfish, of thinking only about escaping, without considering them." I blinked, trying to hold back the tears as words clogged in my throat.

"Calm down, Aru. Breathe!" Aahana rubbed my arm gently while my chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe. I tried to inhale deeply, but the air seemed to catch in my throat. My vision blurred as panic set in, my heartbeat echoing loudly in my ears.

"Aru, look at me." Aahana's voice broke through the fog, steady and soothing. She held my face in her hands, forcing me to focus on her. "Breathe with me. In and out. Slowly."

I nodded, trying to follow her instructions, but my breath came in ragged gasps. Aahana kept her eyes locked on mine, her hands warm and firm against my cheeks. "You're safe, Aru. Just breathe."

I mimicked her breathing, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Gradually, the tightness in my chest began to ease. The world came back into focus, the blurriness dissipating as I regained control over my breathing.

"There you go, that's it," Aahana encouraged, her voice a balm to my frayed nerves. "You're doing great."

As the panic subsided, I felt the overwhelming urge to cry again. Aahana pulled me into another hug, her arms a comforting cocoon around me. I let the tears fall, my body trembling from the aftershocks of the attack.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice barely audible against her shoulder. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"You don't have to apologize, Aru," Aahana replied softly. "You've been through so much. It's okay to feel it."

I clung to her, my mind swirling with a mixture of relief and residual fear. The car moved steadily along the road, the hum of the engine a constant background noise. Aahana's presence grounded me, her calm demeanour a stark contrast to the storm inside me.

"I just don't know what to do, Aahana," I confessed, my voice shaky. "Everything is so confusing. I don't know how to move past this."

"We'll figure it out together," she assured me. "You don't have to go through this alone. We'll take it one step at a time."

Her words were a lifeline, pulling me back from the edge of despair. I took another deep breath, feeling a small measure of peace settle over me. Aahana's unwavering support gave me the strength to believe that, somehow, I would find a way through this.

"Are you feeling okay?" Aahana asked, uncapping a water bottle and passing it to me. I gulped down the water, quenching my thirst, and nodded in response.

"Aru, you need to confront him. Listen to what he has to say, and say what he needs to hear from you. You need closure on this. You can't live with everything buried inside you. It will keep haunting you forever." She caressed my hair gently, pushing them off my face.

"But—" I tried to intervene, but she shook her head, continuing.

"No buts, Aru. I could have agreed with you to just let it slide if there weren't so many gaps between you two. You both need to talk it out. Promise me, at the reception, you will hear him out and will not try to run away from the conversation. Tell him how he hurt you. He needs to know that and take accountability for it." Her voice was firm and direct. I nodded, realizing it had been too long. I needed to free myself from this weight on my chest.

"Okay," I nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Good, let's not let any man take away the bright smile from my best friend's face." She pulled me into a hug, whispering softly in my ear. God, Mahadev, I am so grateful to have her.

"I want you to agree to something I ask of you." We pulled apart, and she faced me, her expression puzzled.

"Give Abhir a chance." Her lips parted to intervene, but I continued. "He's a good man, full of humor and bubbliness. He didn't do anything to question his intentions or doubt him. I'm not asking you to just go for it, but I can clearly see you like him. Don't hold yourself back, especially not because he's Rudransh's brother." She smiled a little, shaking her head, and I could see her eyes welling up.

"I don't want to, Aru. Love makes you weak." She whispered, and I knew where it was coming from.

"Love makes you strong, Aahana. Don't just think about Abhijeet uncle; we have Papa as an example too." Tears fell from her eyes as she heard my words.

"You know how it all happened. Dad lost his spark, his business—everything. Bhai had to take over before his time. You saw it, Aru, how weak he got in Mom's absence. I'm not saying loving was a bad decision, but I am not as strong as him, or you, or like Ankita aunty, to recover from the loss of love." She whispered, staring at our tangled hands. Tears flowed from her eyes. This girl can be tough on the outside, but inside, she's as soft as a marshmallow.

"Aahana, how long are you going to resist happiness? You like him, so why reject it just because you're scared of losing it? At least give it a try. Don't hold yourself back. Let yourself fall for him, and we will manage together, however it might be. Moreover, I have a feeling he's going to bring lots of love, giggles, and laughter into your life." I wiped her tears, cupping her cheeks.

"Right now, he just irritates me, but he is Rudransh's brother, Aru. It breaks the BFF code." Her voice was filled with concern as she stuttered through the last sentence.

"No, it doesn't. I told you already, him being Rudransh's brother is not his fault. You shouldn't punish him for that. You like him, even the irritation he gives you. Also, he's taller, so he can easily punch Rudransh like you wanted." She chuckled at my words while I squished her cheeks.

"Yes, him being his brother can be an easy trick to plan Rudransh's murder." She spoke lightly while I just glared at her.

"Huh! So much for just this excuse of species, men." She heaved a sigh, fluttering her eyelids and wiping the stranded tears.

"Huh! Useless men." I joined her as we both broke into giggles.

"I love you, and I am always there for you." She hugged me, whispering in my ear and kissing my cheek.

"I love you too, and we are here for each other, always and forever." I kissed her cheek back and tightened the hug, rubbing her back.

The rest of the ride was spent munching on snacks and gossiping about everything under the sun. The journey was long and tiring, and we reached home by midnight. "You hungry?" I turned my neck to Aahana, who limped as we approached the main door.

"I am, but I'm too tired to eat," she said, resting her head on my shoulder as I scanned my fingerprint to unlock the door.

"Me too," I fought a yawn as the door chimed open. The mansion was silent and dark, with only the lights of the pooja room illuminating the hall. We stepped inside, fighting off yawns.

"Aru, Aahana!" We jumped at the sound of our names coming from the dining area. I tilted my neck to see it was Yug Bhai.

"You scared us," Aahana gasped, placing a hand against her chest.

"What is it, Yug Bhai?" I slapped his bicep, complaining.

"What? You both took so long. We were waiting for you," he said, pulling us towards the dining area where Aridhaan and Yagya Bhai were plating food.

"I'm not hungry," I tried to escape to my room, but Aridhaan Bhai held my hand, pulling me to the seat beside him while Yug Bhai made Aahana sit on the chair beside me.

"No tantrums, both of you." Bhai's one order was enough to wake us up and rub off the sleep from our eyes.

"Where is Maa and Choti Maa?" My mouth was stuffed with food before I could complete my question.

"I guess they went to the Rathore mansion," Aahana spoke with a full mouth as Yug Bhai put another bite in her mouth. The only missing people were Shravan and Abhimanyu Bhai. This had become a routine for Aahana and me, the sleepyheads that we are. There have been countless times when we were fed in our sleep.

"Bhai, here, feed her one more," Yagya Bhai brought fresh, fluffy chapatis from the kitchen. Did I mention he makes perfect round rotis that fluff up very well?

"No, I'm full," I tried to whine, but Yagya Bhai put his hand on my stomach and tilted his head toward Bhai.

"It has space for at least two more," he said, walking back to the kitchen to bring more while the three at the table laughed.

"Bhai! I am not four!" I protested, but Bhai just nodded and put another bite in my mouth.

"Did you have your dinner?" I asked the two brothers. While Bhai didn't answer, Yug Bhai's face said otherwise.

"We were waiting for you two," he said, putting the last bite in Aahana's mouth. I looked at Aahana, who nodded at me.

"Careless people," we scolded, rising from our seats and taking our plates to the kitchen. I pushed Yagya Bhai out of the kitchen, making him take a seat beside Bhai, and brought them fresh plates and bowls. I served each of them while Aahana made chapatis.

"Aru, you both must be tired. Go and rest in your room, we will manage," Bhai said, but I glared at the three of them, and they fell silent. After serving the dishes, I went to the kitchen to get more chapatis, putting one on each of their plates. I made a morsel, feeding Bhai first, then Yagya Bhai. When I fed Yug Bhai, he bit my finger and grinned at me.

"Ouch! Bhai, you're an evil human!" I smacked his head while the other two chuckled.

We finished dinner and cleaned the table and kitchen together. It was too late to disturb the staff, and we were taught to learn every basic necessity no matter how much luxury we owned.

"Now go to your rooms. Maa and Choti Maa went to Rathore mansion along with the men. We are also leaving early in the morning for the welcoming ceremony of Ridhima," Bhai bid us goodnight, and we all retreated to our rooms.

"You want me to accompany you?" Aahana asked when we reached our wing. Her room was beside mine, as we all grew up practically together, so whether it was Rathore mansion or Rajvansh mansion or even the old Khurrana mansion, we had our rooms allocated.

"I'm fine, Aahana. You also take some rest comfortably." I pushed her to her room and went to mine. It barely took me a minute to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and in no time, it was morning already.

We all dressed up for the welcoming ceremony and drove to the Rathore mansion, which was an hour away from our home. Maami was very excited to welcome her daughter-in-law; she had always wanted a daughter, and in Ridhima Bhabhi, she found one. Everyone enthusiastically welcomed Bhabhi into the family. After all the post-wedding rituals, only the reception was left. This event would see almost every business associate and notable person from the city and state in attendance.

"I wish you could model all my dresses. You are looking beyond perfect," Aahana said, blowing a kiss as I gave a last touch to my dress, designed by her. It was a saree with a touch of Western styling. She clicked enough pictures to flaunt on her website.

"Yeah, we together can do that," I agreed. She herself looked nothing less than a model.

We arrived at the venue, which was brightly illuminated as if the stars had decorated the sky. Aahana held my hand gently, squeezing it. "Talk to him. Remember, I am here for you; nothing to worry about." I nodded and whispered in her ear, "You too talk to him and try not to kill each other." She chuckled at my words. "Will try."

We greeted everyone. It was my first party where all the business associates and partners were invited, so Bhai had me busy introducing me to everyone as I was about to start at the office the next day. I had been occupied back in New York, and idleism had bothered me, so my brother offered me an interesting project, which I agreed to without a second thought.

Everyone spoke to me with chivalry, making me feel at ease, but my eyes searched for him in the crowd. The room was filled with elegantly dressed guests, the soft hum of conversations blending with the clinking of glasses and the distant strains of classical music. My brother's introductions and polite conversations blurred into the background as my attention drifted.

My vision got stuck on a sight, and my eyes refused to move from it. There he was, standing in his glory. He was dressed impeccably in a tailored black suit that fit him perfectly, accentuating his tall, lean frame. The crisp white shirt beneath contrasted sharply, highlighting the broadness of his shoulders and the strength of his posture. His hair was styled neatly, a few rebellious strands falling over his forehead, adding a touch of casual elegance to his otherwise polished appearance.

I could see his side profile clearly, his sharp jawline jutting down as he spoke with Rishi, who was beside him, facing someone else. The strong lines of his face, the slight stubble that added a rugged edge to his refined look, made him appear even more striking. His lips curled into a sneer, and a scowl formed on his face; it was clear that Rishi or the other person had said something that deeply annoyed him. His brow furrowed, and his eyes narrowed, their usual warmth replaced by a cold, piercing gaze that could cut through steel. The intensity in his expression was palpable, and it sent a shiver down my spine.

Rishi, ever the joker, laughed heartily, seemingly oblivious to Rudransh's irritation. The contrast between Rishi's carefree demeanor and Rudransh's brooding intensity was stark. It was evident that Rudransh was in no mood for jokes, his posture rigid and his body language exuding a barely contained frustration.

But as I stood there, rooted to the spot, I realized that the chasm between us was wider than ever. The past, with all its unresolved pain and unspoken words, loomed large, casting a shadow over the present. And in that moment, I knew that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't simply walk away from the feelings that had been buried deep within me for so long.

I tilted my gaze to see the person he was talking to. It was her, Ishika! She stood there, dressed in an elegant gown that clung to her slender frame, her long hair cascading down her back in soft waves. Her eyes sparkled as she engaged in conversation, seemingly unfazed by Rudransh's displeasure. The sight of her brought a fresh wave of emotions crashing over me.

The memory of their shared history, the pain of seeing them together, resurfaced with a vengeance. My heart clenched, and I felt a lump form in my throat. The room seemed to close in around me, the noise fading away as my focus remained locked on them.

⋆✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ⋆🌿✦🌺✦🌿⋆*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧⋆

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