Itâs Now or Never However, I wasnât alone for long. Night fell quickly over the pack, and soon after Estr ella left the room, I heard a knock on the door. âMiss Rosalie, can we come in?â It was Mrs. White again , with two other young girls. âOf course, please!â I replied politely. I was still not used to being served. O ne of the younger girls placed some salad in front of me. The doctorâs order had to be followed, so I sta rted eating while watching the rest of the group working on my room. Like last time, they lit the candles, ran the hot water, and added flower petals.
Mrs. White noticed that I had put down my plate, so she walked over to help me get into the bath âI⦠may I do it myself?â I asked Mrs. White with as much courage as I could muster.
âMiss Rosalie, itâs our job to prepare youâ¦â
âI insist. Please?â
I wanted to do this on my own. It just didnât feel right having other women get me ready to lose my virgi nity.
Mrs. White hesitated for a moment. Then she nodded her head and closed the bathroom door for me.
A sigh of relief left me. Walking toward the bathroom, I took off my clothes and removed the clip that had kept
my long hair up all day. My hair cascaded down in loose waves of silk around my shoulders, continuing well past my waist. Stepping into the hot fragranced waters, I allowed the smell of sage and lavender to fill my nostrils. The combination rela xed me and helped to calm my mind. âYou can do this, Rosalie,â I whispered to myself. âThis is the cost of freedom.â Sitting in the water, I pondered everything I was going to have to do. âJust relax⦠the Alp ha will take the lead, and all I need to do is to follow his instructions. I can do this Once the water began to grow cold, I stepped out of the bath and wrapped myself with the large white cotton bath towel they gave me. I wasnât sure when Alpha Ethan would be here, but I made sure to prepare myself just as the maids had done before. My eyes went to the pills Estrella had given me. I stared at them as they sat upon the counter in their small container.
I didnât want to admit to myself that I would need them, but maybe I did. I took the pills from the container and rolled them around on my palm. I closed my eyes and let a sigh escape me.
âIt has to be done.â I looked down once again at the pills in my hand. âItâs now or never, right?â With a deep breath for courage, I tossed them into my mouth and rinsed them down with a cup of water.
There was no turning back now. Standing lost in my own thoughts, I realized it was quiet. There was not a single sound to be heard from outside of the bathroom. Mrs. White and the maids must have left the suite, and, once again, it was just me. I hate d the silence that surrounded me. It was quiet, way too quiet. The rapidly increasing rate of my heart fill ed my ears. No matter how much I thought I was ready, I couldnât control my nervousness. I took a dee p breath and exited back into the bedroom, pleasantly surprised by the warmth that welcomed me. The
maids had built up the fire, and I felt my tense body being soothed by the heat. Something about the ro om felt different. As I glanced around, a new addition caught my attention. It was a fourâ
posted canopy bed. The elegant dark cloth drapes made the intimidatingly large frame seem more priv ate and welcoming. Almost magically, it provided me with a sense of security. .
I hadnât realized I had soaked in the large tub for so long that they were able to change the furniture like that, but I couldnât help but smile. It must have been Estrellaâ
s idea. She was so considerate and kind to me, as always.
The bedding was also new. My hand ran over the thick white blankets. On the plush coverlet, there was white lingerie similar to the one I wore last tim e. The sight of the lingerie took me back to the first night I had prepared myself to give my virtue to Ethan. The nervousne ss I had felt was unlike anything I had experienced before, and the lingerie didnât help with my own insecurities. I felt like a harlot in it⦠regardless of how elegant it appeared. I hesitated for a moment, then decided not to put it on. Instead, I stayed wrapped in the towel. The lingerie was just too much of a remi nder that I had failed my task once before. I knew what was expected of me. The good news was, with
all the changes in the room, I seemed to This was a good start. I couldnât mess this up again! I watched the candles dancing, and my mind start ed to wander. It had only been three weeks since the last time I saw him, but it felt like it had been year s. I remembered the wellâdefined curves of his muscles, the rippling effect of his black shirt as he stretched it, crossing his arms across his chest. The way his clothes hugged him in all the right places, leaving nothing to the imaginationâ¦. I could feel my face bur ning ear to ear. The room was getting warmer, and I got up to pour myself another cup of water. No matter the coolness of t he water it couldnât calm the thirst I had. There was a feeling deep inside me that longed for him to touc h me again. His large hands brushing against my skin, as he stared at me with a gaze that should have been forbidden⦠What were you thinking about?! Get a hold of yourself, Rosalie⦠Why w as it so hot in here?
Time seemed to go slowly. Ethan⦠My dangerous but intoxicating master⦠When would he arrive?
I started pacing back and forth anxiously.
He would be here any moment for one and only one purpose⦠I should have been afraid, but for some reason, all I could think about was his slender yet powerful fingers touching my skin. Shoul of himâ¦? No, there was no reason to be afraid. He hadnât hurt me before, so why would he nowâ¦?
Then one thought hit me, and I could not wave it away.
I want to see himâ¦
I want to have him touch me again⦠I want him to take me within his arms once more..
The feeling was strange and foreign to me. I was a virgin, and shouldnât have desired what I did, but I co â Then stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the door behind me open and close. I knew he was there without having to tu and as he did, I saw him for the man he was. Powerful, and yet there was something else⦠A desire⦠A confid slowly, bowing my head in submission. My heart started the pounding again, and for a moment, I forgot
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