Chapter 17

"So you wanted to be kissed by me?"

"Yes!"

Uh, oh!

"No! I mean.......oh lord!" Please, please make me disappear, I begged as I sat there with my hands covering my face.

"Ok, no more teasing." He finally announced.

"Thank you." I said, sighing in relief.

"But we still have to deal with this." He said, making me groan, covering my face again.

"Then what Ashley? You want us to forget about it and pretend like it never happened?"

"Yes, please," I responded immediately while still covering my face.

"Why?" He demanded to know.

"Because..." it was really hard to just say why.

"Well?" He asked impatiently.

"Because Mr. Carl-"

"I swear to God, Ashley!" He burst out, making me blink in surprise, turning to look at him with wide eyes.

He turned and gave me a hard glare before turning his eyes back to the road. "Can you stop treating me like I'm just your boss for one second?" He asked me harshly.

But he was my boss. How else was I supposed to treat him? I wondered.

But one more glare from him made me glad I didn't say that out loud.

"Ummm..well, what I wanted to say was.." I continued hesitantly after giving him some time to calm down. "It was a mistake."

"Why the hell was it a mistake," he asked, still sounding pretty irritated.

"You are my boss," I almost whispered, afraid of him bursting out again. I gulped as I saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten and his knuckles turning white.

"I knew that when I kissed you, Ashley." He gritted out in a cold voice, making me shrink in my seat.

He had never spoken to me in that tone. Not even when we were just boss and secretary. His tone made me realize what he meant when he said to stop treating him like he was only my boss.

My heart felt really heavy in my chest as I realized he was treating me the same.

But I really couldn't live in some fantasy world where I kidded myself into thinking I could ever be good enough to have any kind of relationship with Mr. Carlton.

"It would still be ok, I guess  if I was just an average person." I said to which he sent me a confused look. "But I'm not. I am an ex-wife of a pretty dangerous criminal who is out to get me. You have put yourself in so much danger by just helping me out, I can't imagine the danger you would be in by making yourself connected to me in some way."

"And then there is Liam." I continued as he kept silent. "He really likes you. He would get his hopes up and get really attached to you. I don't want him to have expectations from you..."

I had one other reason, but I couldn't tell him that out loud. David hadn't been kidding when he said I couldn't satisfy him in bed. I really couldn't. I was frigid and awkward and only managed to frustrate David. He took his frustrations out not so gently, so now I was really afraid to ever come close to a man. I didn't want to start anything when I would just end up being a disappointment.

The kiss was a very, very big mistake. The more time I have spent in Mr. Carlton's company, the more I have gotten to like him as a person. And that had only helped increase my attraction towards him, and I hadn't been able to resist him this morning when he kissed me. Now look where it has gotten me.

"I don't care about your ex-husband Ashley. On the contrary, I would rather have the full right to protect you. To keep you safe, indefinitely." He told me after some silence.

"But -"

"I'm not done." He told me, making me shut up and sink into my seat again. "As for Liam, I understand what you are saying. Parents usually don't introduce their kids to the person they are dating until they can fully trust the person of their intentions. In our case, he already knows me -"

"And he is already pretty attached to you." I informed him quietly.

"Yes, he is, and that's because I like him too. So I can suggest that we keep it a secret from him."

"But I am not at all your equal Mr-" I tried telling him but got shut down again by his glare. I bit my lip in frustration. After taking a deep breath, I tried continuing.

"I am a 35 year old divorced woman with an almost grown-up son, while you are one of the most eligible bachelor's in this country. You have a really bright future where there are women far more beautiful and eligible, waiting in line to be dating you Mr.Carlton."

"And I want none of them." He replied shortly, making me sigh in frustration.

"You are rich. I am poor. You are handsome while I couldn't be bothered about looking stylish and pretty all the time. I prefer to be comfortable.

You dine in five-star restaurants, while I would much rather have my meals in a diner that served delicious food.

Your entertainment would be any kind of social gathering that could promote your image, while I hate social gatherings. I much prefer my own company or the company of a loved one, where I cuddle up with him watching a movie or going on a picnic or just maybe even star gazing. We are complete opposites, so it would never work." I concluded.

There was a tense silence in the car as I waited for him to respond. The ride back to the mansion had never felt this long ever before.

"Fine Ashley," he finally replied. "You win." He told me as I looked at him confused. "I have never heard you argue over anything as much as you have argued over this. Which makes it pretty obvious you don't want anything to do with me."

My eyes widened, and my mouth opened in protest to his harsh comment, but he continued before I could say anything.

"But don't compare me to your ex-husband Ashley." He said quietly. "Just because I have money doesn't mean I enjoy the same things he does. I don't need to be constantly attending social gatherings to boost my image. My image is built by the number of cases I win, not by chatting up people. But it's ok. You will get what you want. We will pretend like nothing ever happened." He said in a final tone.

He had allowed me to get what I wanted. But why did it feel like I had lost something really precious to me, even before I got it. My heart felt like it was truly breaking, which was ridiculous. I mean, how can your heart break for something you never even had...

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If I were a writer in the olden days, I would have finished a whole reel of A4 size paper writing this chapter on a type writer. So I really hope you will like this chapter.

Please vote and comment while I get some sleep. Goodnight. And love you guys 🩷