Chapter Six

Not again, was my first thought when I heard clamor from the kitchen. This time I bounced up immediately and glimpsed at the time from my cell phone. 5.20 am.

"You can't be serious, I'm trying to sleep here", I snarled.

"Why don't you sleep then?" He sounded guileless and that only made me more irritated.

"It's it 5 fucking am and you think it's okay to switch on the lights and be so loud it's going to wake up the entire building?" I had promised myself to stay calm, but I was exhausted and I really, really didn't have the nerve to deal with his attitude so early.

"Yeah, well, I have a morning practice", Kuisma said and there was a frustrated note in his voice. His face appeared on the kitchen doorway.

Yet my first thought was that I would like to draw him. He was tall.. and so damn attractive. His golden eyes were distinctive and his face was a perfect mixture of softness and sculptural angles. Not to mention his coppery light brown hair that reached his chin.

And the way he was leaning his body on the doorway and how the light from the kitchen formed an auerole to his lean figure.. He looked like an angel. Too bad he was so bad-tempered and ill-mannered.

"Can't you just sneak out like every sensible person does?" I asked, trying to keep anger off my voice.

"It's my room too. Am I supposed to tiptoe here so I don't disturb your harmony? To do everything you want me to do?"

"Keep your voice down", I hushed before continuing: "There's a big difference between slamming doors at 5 am and having to do everything I want."

"Yeah, whatever", Kuisma huffed. I knew it was time to leave the subject, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"We need to talk this through.." I began, but before I could finish Kuisma had already grabbed his keys and slammed the door shut behind him.

It wasn't even half past five and I was already wide awake. I had no idea what I supposed to with him. Would it be too late to ask for another room? Why was it so damn hard to have real conversations with him? And most importantly, who has practices this early?

I had time to ruminate not only my roommate troubles, but also Joakim. I had no idea what he wanted from me, what I wanted from him or even who he was. And what I felt for him? It was way too early to say for sure.

There I was worrying about two people I had just met, when I should have worried about the House. Then again I still had a year to think about that, so I had more pressing matters at hand.

Besides, at this rate I was probably either getting murdered by my roommate or ending up in a prison for killing him in just a week or so.

Fortunately it was Friday, so I had an option to take the weekend of from my new hometown. Not that I had a place to go, since I had already given away my old apartment and there was no way I was going to the House. Nor did I have any money to squander, but I knew I had to get some distance.

So I texted Copa and after the last class I hopped on a bus to the capital city. From there I still had to take a train and after that I would officially be broke.

The bus left five past eight and it was already getting dusk. By the time I'd arrive my final destination, it would be pitch-dark. There was only one passenger on the bus with me, which seemed odd to me. It was the latest bus to the capital on a Friday evening. It was my first time taking the bus, though, so I had no idea whether that was normal or not.

I put my ear buds on and immersed myself in music while resting my cheek against the cold window glass. After one and a half hours the bus arrived to the capital. The bus station was filled with people, just like it always seemed to be.

I had never been one of those people who wanted to live in a big city. All that hustle and bustle was simply too much for me. But it was nice to visit the capital city every now and then.

The train reeked of booze and perfume, just like it usually did at night-time. I managed to find a vacant seat and put on some music, trying not to fall asleep.

When the train was at the destination, I already felt so run-down it was such a relief Copa lived near the station. It was chilly outside, but I didn’t have time to freeze, since it was just one street and I was already at the front door.

''Oh wow, you look terrible", Copa pointed out when he opened the door.

"Thanks, I'm flattered", I shrugged.

"When was the last time you got some decent night's sleep?" Copa continued like I hadn't said anything. "And where's your jacket? Have you eaten?"

"I forgot the jacket, but I did eat earlier", I mumbled as I followed Copa into the kitchen. He was like a mother hen when it came to me and his sister Paju, while being nonchalant about pretty much everything else.

"How much earlier is earlier?" Copa raised an eyebrow and studied my face almost too intensively.

"Um.. At lunch", when I came to think about it, I was actually ravenous.

"Oh, I could smack you for that.. So, Chinese or pizza?"

"I can't pay you back before next Friday", I confessed, but Copa just gave a dismissive wave of his hand.

"It's not like I was going to let you pay anyway. I just want to make sure you eat something else than noodles and cereals for a change", he lectured.

Just by looking at him today, it was implausible to think he had been so unpopular back at comprehensive school. He used to be lanky and clumsy, and his nickname surely didn't help. We used to be three outcasts, me, Copa and Paju.

You can probably guess why I wasn't popular. I was a such cliché: a genius socially awkward Asian guy. Then again, I was also openly gay and listened to weird music. You know how kids are, but I could always count on the fact I had my two other outcasts with me.

"So, tell me, how's it been at countryside?" Copa asked while sipping red wine from a coffee mug.

"It's fine. You know, fields and all", I dodged the question. Copa just gave me an expecting look and waited for me to continue. That's the issue with having good friends: they know exactly how and when you're try to avoid saying or doing something.

"It's been mostly good. The studies are interesting, I have three new friends and I kissed one of them. One of them is a fan of serial killers and one just talks way too much.. and then there's my new roommate, who clearly hates me. He won't let me sleep and it's.." I started explicating.

"Hold on. You kissed someone already?" Copa interrupted.

"Yeah, it's just this one guy I've got to know. His name is Joakim and he's my classmate", I stated casually.

"What's he like?" Copa leaned closer, always ready for a juicy gossip.

"I don't know, he seems nice", I explained, slightly impatiently, because that wasn't what I wanted to talk about right then.

"Do you like him?" Copa asked contemplatively.

Then our conversation went more or less like this:

"I just met him."

"And you already kissed him."

"He kissed me."

"That's not the point."

"Fine, I guess I might like him."

Only then Copa let me complain about my new roommate. "I don't know what to do with him.. No matter what I say, it makes him angry, and seriously, who gets up at 5 am and wakes up the entire building?" I was stewing and comfortless.

"Maybe you should try another approach?" Copa suggested after a moment of deliberation.

"I'm all ears", I sighed.

"How about telling him how it makes you feel when you can't talk to him without him blowing up or how tired you get when he wakes you up that early?" It wasn't such terrible idea.

"Okay, but what if he gets angry before I get to that point?" Because he'll probably do so, I wanted to add.

***

When I woke up in the morning, I felt well-rested. Although I soon found out it was no longer morning but late afternoon. Not that I was surprised, since we had stayed up way too late and even before that I had sleep debt. I didn't get up right away. Instead I shut my eyes lightly and recollected our conversation from yesterday.

Copa had made me talk more about Joakim, and it made me realise how little I knew about what was going on between the two of us. I didn't know if I liked him yet, but I had to admit I was starting to get hopeful. After all he seemed like a decent guy and there was undeniable chemistry between us. But the fact I knew nearly nothing about him bothered me. It wasn't like I hadn't fallen for people with a lot less, and that was exactly why I didn't want to do so this time.

All these thoughts made my head spin and I hadn't even gotten to the real issue yet. I wasn't sure why Kuisma stressed me out so badly, but it must have had something to do with the fact I actually had to live with him. The flat should have been my safe haven, but Kuisma had taken it away from me.

Once my head started to hurt from all the thinking, I got up from the bed promptly and started dressing up. Meanwhile a scent of fresh coffee drifted from the kitchen, even though I hadn't heard anything from there.

"Hush, lower your voice, or you're gonna wake him up", Copa crooned.

"Too late, I'm already up", I sighed from the doorway.

Paju jumped up and squeezed me in a tight embrace. "I missed you so much!"

Paju was Copa's identical twin and they looked a lot alike. Even though identical twins can't be different sex, they can have different genders, and so did Copa and Paju.

I hugged her back and inhaled her familiar vanilla fragrance. "Missed you too." I hadn't even realised how much so, and I didn't want to let her go.

"Pancakes or toasts?" Copa asked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. A while later I was chopping some fresh strawberries and bananas while Paju whipped the oat cream and Copa made the pancakes.

I must admit it was one of the best breakfasts I've had in years. Cereals are good, but nothing beats a pile of pancakes with fruits and whipping cream. Not to mention a huge cup of good quality cardamom coffee.

"Are you sure you won't just move to the house?" Paju asked after all the mandatory chit-chat.

"I don't think so", I muttered avoidantly. I really didn't want to talk about the house.

"Okay, okay", Paju complied after seeing my uneasy expression. "Tell me more about that roommate of yours then."