March 6th 2016

The chapter photo is of Kristen Scott Thomas, who will be Sophie's mother, Camille Clément.

Britishisms- The Full Monty/Stark naked- to be fully naked.

And now, to the French bits.

C'est toi - It's you.

Allez-y - Let's go

S'il tu plait - Please

The French don't say the 'h' at the beginning of words, so when Camille says 'urry what she means to say is 'hurry'.

Sarah, xx

~*~*~

"Good morning, sleepy head!"

"What time is is?"

"Just a little after midday. Are you still in bed?  Your voice sounds... husky."

"I'm in a bed, but it's not mine. Um, Sophie? Whose bed am I in? Please don't say it's Charlotte's!"

"It's my bed."

"I'm naked."

"I know."

"Why am I naked in your bed?"

"Which story do you want- the long or the short?"

"The least embarrassing, please."

"Both versions are pretty embarrassing, to be fair."

"Give me the short version, then."

"After the show, Charlotte and Hugo decided that we were all going to go out, hit some bars-"

"I vaguely remember going to the karaoke bar. Did you sing?"

"Hey, we're talking about your embarrassing evening, not mine. So, after the bars, there were some more bars. You, Hugo and Charlotte decided to do shots, then when we got home, you and Hugo thought it would be a good idea to do a strip tease for Emma because she's getting married this year and you both wouldn't get to go to the hen do. So-"

"We stripped?"

"Oh yeah. Every last item of clothing."

"No!"

"Yeah."

"How did I end up in your bed, though?"

"Well... I put you in your bed and then about half an hour later, you decided that you liked my bed more than yours. You came in- still totally buck naked- pushed me out of my bed, climbed under the blankets and then started snoring."

"If I slept in your bed, where did you sleep?"

"In your bed."

"Right. That means nothing happened between us, right?"

"I'm not in the business of taking advantage of a drunk man. As tempting as it was having seen everything-"

"Everything?"

"Haha, yeah. Everything. I think my mum enjoyed it the most."

"Camille was there?"

"Mm hm."

"I can't show my face around your mother ever again. I was supposed to be making a good impression on her and then this happens. Sophie! Why didn't you stop me?"

"My mum loves you. After you said 'Bonsoir, Mademoiselle Clément,' she was basically putty in your hands. Who knew that saying 'Good evening, Miss Clément' was all it took to get her on side. By the way, I did try to stop you but you kept pushing me away and muttering to yourself, so... this is all on you buddy."

"Your mum loves me?"

"She wouldn't shut up about you this morning, so yeah, I'd say that you're her favourite person right now."

"What was she saying?"

"Stuff. Most of it was her going on and on about the fact she was 'très heureuse' that you called her 'Miss' and not 'Mrs.'"

"That means she was 'really happy,' doesn't it?"

"Indeed, it does. You've got yourself a fan, anyway."

"Well, I only called your mum 'mademoiselle' because I was flustered and forgot that I was supposed to say 'madame.' By the way, I totally get where you got your looks from. Your mum is-"

"Gorgeous?"

"Not the word I was going to use, but same meaning I suppose."

"Yeah, we all look like mum. Pisses Dad off to no end. He thought at least one of us would look like him."

"I'm glad you don't look like a bloke."

"Me too. Anyway, are you planning on getting out of bed?"

"In a couple of hours. Maybe. No guarantees."

"Daniel-"

"I can't leave your room, Sophie."

"Why not?"

"For many reasons. I'm naked, for a start. I don't have clothes."

"Wrap a bed sheet around you. Toga style."

"Ok, but what about your mother and your sisters?"

"What about them?"

"I'm too embarrassed to face them. I don't think I could ever face them again."

"Like you're the first man they've ever seen naked. We're very French in that regard. Hugo was flashing his family jewels too and he still had the balls to eat breakfast across the table from Mum this morning."

"My balls aren't that big."

"Really, because from where I was sat last night-"

"Don't even go there!"

"Haha, ok. But seriously, my mum won't think any less of you. Plus, Emma and Charlotte are still around for a couple more hours."

"That's seriously not helping. That kinda makes me want to hide under your bed. Speaking of, your bed really is like a cloud."

"My London one is better. It's a cloudier cloud."

"Is it? I'll have to test that theory one day."

"Good luck with that, buddy. Now, would you kindly get out of my bed, please?"

"Nope, I'm staying put. You have a truck load of books in your room, by the way. Have you read them all?"

"Yep."

"Interesting. Most of them are in French, though."

"Then it's a good thing I can read French, huh?"

"Lucky you."

"Daniel, will you please get up? I'll be back in about four hours and I'd like for you to be ready. I'm showing you the sights, remember?"

"You know I only need about ten minutes to actually get ready right?"

"Are you aware that you stink like a brewery? You smell of booze and it's going to take more than ten minutes to wash the scent of alcohol off you."

"Ok, so maybe I'll need about thirty minutes. That means I have three and a half hours before you get here to do that."

"My mother will be majorly offended if you didn't go and have lunch with her or if you blank her for the rest of the day. The French take slights like this very personal. Do you really want to fall out of favour with my mother?"

"... No?"

"Then get out of my frickin' bed!"

"Alright, woman. No need to shout. I'm getting up."

"Glad to hear it. All it took was a little blackmail, too."

"I'm up. Now what?"

"Hop in the shower. Then get dressed. Go to the kitchen and socialise with my mother and sisters. Easy."

"Easy for you. I don't know these people, Soph. I only met your mother last night."

"And yet, you left a lasting impression. Suck it up, Daniel, and just go! I'll text Emma to tell assure her that you're not dead. She was worried about you."

"I hate you for making me do this."

"Well, if you hadn't decided to do the Full Monty in front of everyone, you wouldn't be in this situation. So, whose fault is it really?"

"Hugo's?"

"Nice try at passing the buck, but I'm not buying the bullshit you're selling."

"How far is it from your room to mine?"

"Thirteen steps."

"Thirteen? That's an unlucky number. Ok, I'm making a run for it, but if I get caught-"

>

"-Uh, just a minute, Mademoiselle Clément.- Sophie?"

"Hey, you're on your own, sunshine."

>

"Yeah, Daniel. 'Urry."

"You're an evil woman, Sophie Clément."

"I've been called worst. Enjoy your late lunch! Make sure you're ready by the time I get back! Love you, bye."

"Sophie, do not hang up on-"

[Call ended]