February 25th 2016

When I first thought up this idea (incidentally in my best friend's guest bedroom about 10 mins before I posted the first 'conversation') I pictured Henry Cavill as Daniel. He's got the looks down, but I never quite felt like he was Daniel. Same with the other two that I'd previously considered. However, I've recently discovered a TV show called Galavant, and the main actor is named Joshua Sasse. He's now my Daniel. This time, I am NOT changing my mind! Picture above. Sarah xx

~*~*~

"I'm sending you a bill for all my Fashion Week purchases."

"No, you are not!"

"But I am."

"Not a chance."

"But... you made me fat!"

"How did I make you fat?"

"You took me to MEATmarket! I've put on, like, a hundred pounds since last night."

"Not my fault you ordered the biggest burger on the menu."

"You're the one who took me there. Ergo, it is your fault."

"I'm not footing the extortionate bill for your frivolities."

"You know, I would totally do that for you. If I made you fat, I'd pay for a new wardrobe for you."

"How sweet."

"That is sweet."

"It really isn't."

"Anyway, because of you I have to wear yoga pants today. Yoga pants!"

"You say that like I know what they are."

"Pants that you do yoga in."

"Oh, it literally means that."

"Yes. Literally."

"Well, that to me sounds like a perfect way to spend a day."

"You're just lucky that I wangled another day off work. My boss is being weirdly nice to me at the moment."

"It's weird for your boss to be nice to you?"

"It's weird for anyone in fashion to be nice, but especially my boss. She's acting..."

"Weird?"

"Exactly! Really weird. Like... something is going on. I don't know what it is, but something is not right."

"In what was, not right?"

"She's practically given me until Monday off. That's a century in fashion terms. Oh, my God! She's going to sack me! The bitch is going to fire me!"

"Stop being melodramatic, Sophie. She isn't going to sack you."

"How do you know?"

"Because if she tries to sack you, I'll go Kramer vs. Kramer on her arse."

"Kramer vs. Kramer is about a divorced couple fighting over custody of their kid, Daniel."

"Ok, how about A Few Good Men?"

"Your knowledge of courtroom dramas is worrying considering you spend a fair amount of your time in court."

"I spend very little of my time in court. I mainly settle out of it."

"That explains a lot."

"Harsh much?"

"I still think she's going to sack me."

"She won't."

"She will."

"She isn't going to."

"She might."

"If she does, you have plenty of other job opportunities."

"Like?"

"You could work for your mum again. Surely there are other fashion magazines you could work for. You could actually do something useful with that posh English degree of yours."

"First of all, I am never working for my mother again. I love her, but I can't work for her. Additionally, I don't want to work for other magazines. I want to work for this one. Furthermore, I am already doing something useful with my degree!"

"It was just a suggestion, Soph. Not that you need suggestions because you're not getting sacked."

"Your optimism is not infectious. By the way, are you feeling fat?"

"No, I'm not. I was at the gym by six, so I feel great."

"You were in the gym by six? In the morning? Who does that?"

"Me, apparently."

"Why?"

"Because I like to keep fit."

"Intriguing. So, let's talk more about this beard of yours."

"What about it?"

"Are you actually growing it?"

"Obviously."

"Are you keeping it?"

"Why, what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing. I was simply asking."

"Most girls don't ask out of simplicity."

"I'm a simple girl."

"Haha. You're the one that said that, not me."

"At least I can admit it. So, is the beard here to stay?"

"For the foreseeable future, yes. You don't like it, do you?"

"On the contrary. I really like it. Makes you look rugged."

"Rugged?"

"Yeah, like you could be totally hot in bed."

"Haha, what?"

"You've got that je ne sais quoi about you."

"The what?"

"You know, the x factor?"

"The x factor?"

"Girls will take one look at you and fall at your feet, all because of that beard. Facial hair is hot at the moment."

"Hot?"

"And bothered."

"Are you hot and bother by it?"

"Definitely. But then you open your mouth and it's like, no!"

"Hey!"

"Oh, and the fact that you're my friend. My extremely attractive friend."

"Well, you're not so bad yourself. Until you open your mouth."

"I'm a pretty girl."

"I don't think it's socially acceptable to call yourself 'pretty.'"

"It should be. If more girls accepted themselves for what they are and believed that they're pretty regardless, girls wouldn't feel as self-conscious. I hate my nose, but my nose doesn't define me. I accepted that it's hideous but I own it."

"I hate my ears. They stick out."

"They don't. Your ears are perfectly fine, Daniel."

"Same can be said about your nose, by the way."

"Cheers."

"It was a compliment."

"And I said 'thanks' for it."

"Oh, that wasn't a sarcastic 'cheers?'"

"No, it wasn't."

"You really should be clearer with your sarcasm. Half the time I don't know if you're being serious or sarcastic, so I either choose to ignore it or wrongly assume that you're being mean."

"My sarcasm is my best feature. I won't ruin that by pre-empting everything I say by announcing that it's sarcasm."

"Not even for me?"

"Look, I already toned it down for you, as per your previous request. Are you asking me to stop completely?"

"Would you, if I asked?"

"...Yes."

"I'm not asking you. I wouldn't ask you."

"I'll work on my sarcasm, though."

"Don't. I like it."

"You do?"

"It's your best feature, didn't you know?"

"It is?"

"Like you didn't know."

"Maybe I was just fishing for another compliment."

"Then you got one."

"Mission complete."

"Incorrigible."

"My second best feature."

"What's the plan for the rest of the day then? Chilling out and watching more daytime TV?"

"Furniture shopping. My dad's redecorating his office and needs some expert advice. God knows why he asked me to go with him! His style and mine are completely different."

"What's his style?"

"Antique."

"And yours?"

"Vintage."

"Aren't they the same thing? Old."

"Antiques are items that are greater than 100 years old. Vintage means that the style was popular in a different era."

"How do you know this?"

"Vintage clothing."

"Ah. Well, I can recommend a great antiques dealer if you'd like."

"Really?"

"McCabe and Foster. It's a huge warehouse in East London that stocks some of the most amazing items I've ever come across."

"Will it have an extremely large mahogany writing desk?"

"Possibly."

"Dad's desk tends to be the centrepiece of his office, so it has to be a damn good one."

"Give McCabe and Foster a try, anyway. You might find something vintage in there that you like, too."

"Thanks, I will. Oh, someone's knocking on my door."

"Your dad?"

"Most probably. I'm not even dressed yet! - Hi, Dad. Come in. I'm just finishing up a phone call. Make yourself at home.- Hey, Daniel?"

"You've got to go?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"It's cool. Go hang out with your dad."

"You sure?"

"It's not like I won't be able to speak to you tomorrow."

"Thank you. See you later, alligator."

"In a while, crocodile."