February 14th, 2016

Happy Valentines Day to you all! Sarah, xx (There's a song around here somewhere. And a picture! Here's a better link to the picture, because to me, it sums up Danphie- https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/58/fd/33/58fd33ed539c2483f049a63c652c3ae0.jpg )

~*~*~

"Stop sending me flowers!"

"But I'm trying to apologise."

"Yes and that's fine, but stop sending flowers."

"You don't like them?"

"They're lovely-"

"Were they too much?"

"Just a little-"

"Because I called every florist in London and ordered every flower available. I didn't know which were your favourites and I called Charlotte and Emma and Hugo-"

"You called them, why?"

"I wanted to know which was your favourite and they all said that you don't have one, so I went out on a limb and bought a truck load of everything in the hopes that one of them was the one."

"You called them all to ask what my favourite flower is?"

"Yes, and to find out your address."

"Right, but in the course of asking them and them telling you that I didn't have a favourite flower, none of them thought to tell you that I'm allergic?"

"You're allergic?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, this is going horribly wrong."

"Just a little."

"Do you need me to send someone to come and take the flowers away?"

"No, I've already arranged something. I had the delivery men take them to each of my neighbours. I hope you don't mind."

"No, that's fine. I seriously thought you'd throw them in the rubbish or go mental and thrash them around and ruin the flowers."

"I was tempted but it wasn't worth the sneezing. Or the wheezing, coughing, itchy throat..."

"Right... did you, uh, by any chance... you know, keep the cards?"

"I kept them."

"Did you read them?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And, what?"

"Am I forgiven?"

"No."

"Sophie, please."

"Look, Daniel, last night was exactly the type of thing I was trying to avoid. I said that I didn't want girlfriends to come between our friendship and not even forty-eight hours after I tell you this, you let a girl get between us! You took Rachel's side without even considering mine. But that wasn't even the worst part. Ask me what was the worst part. Go on, Daniel, ask me!"

"What was the worst part, Sophie?"

"The worst part, thank you for asking, is that you insinuated that talking to me was hell!"

"I didn't mean that, Soph."

"But you still said it!"

"It was a heat of the moment thing."

"You can't take that back, though, Daniel!"

"I know. I deeply regret what I said and how I behaved."

"Yes, as you said in card number three, after the first read 'I'm sorry' and the second read 'I fucked up.'"

"Sophie-"

"Maybe we should stop all-"

"Don't! Don't say it! Please!"

"Why not, Daniel? What are we even doing? What is this? What are we?"

"We're Danphie. We're friends."

"Are we, though? Really? Because if I was your friend, you would have taken my side without even needing to call me up and making me feel like shit!"

"Sophie, calm down."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"For fuck sake's Sophie! Calm the fuck down!"

>

"Shit!"

>

"- No one that concerns you, Grandmother.-"

>

"-No, Grandmother, she isn't.-"

>

"-Grandmother!  She can hear you!-"

>

"-Grandmother, can we please have this discussion sometime else? Preferably when I'm not on the phone to the person you want to talk about.-"

>

"Sophie? Did you hear that?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Tell her it's fine."

"-Sophie agrees.-"

>

"-Is that all, Grandmother? Sophie and I have things to discuss.-"

>

"..."

"..."

"I'm taking this call outside."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Are you outside yet?"

"Yes. I'm just trying to figure out what I can say to you to make you change your mind about ending this... conversation."

"Daniel-"

"Please, let me talk first."

"..."

"Oh, you're actually letting me talk first. Uh, ok. You're right, I should never have taken Rachel's side over yours and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Obviously, Rachel hadn't told me the entire story which is why, after you hung up on me, I told her that she and I couldn't continue with the date. I left then and went home to try and figure out how I could make it up to you. Elias was slightly worried. He hasn't seen me in a moping state for a good few years- probably since my grandfather died."

"..."

"Look, Sophie, I'm not good at this. You know I'm not. I'm sorry I broke my promise to you, but rest assured, I do not make the same mistake twice. From here on, I promise that I will always take your side, no matter what. Please, just give me the chance to be a better friend to you, Sophie. Please."

"..."

"I am literally on my knees begging you."

"..."

"Sophie-"

"Fine. Whatever."

"No, it isn't 'fine, whatever.' You have to mean it when you say it. Will you give me a second chance at being your friend?"

"On one condition."

"Name it."

"Never send me flowers again. I have scratchy eyes thanks to the abundance of flowers you're sent."

"... Sorry, I didn't know."

"Now you do."

"I promise to never send you flowers again. Apart from teh bouquet that's arriving in about ten minutes. I'll call the florists and tell them to return them to the shop."

"No, it's fine. I've dealt with thirteen bouquets already, what's another one? Plus, Mrs. Greig down the road hasn't had a bunch yet. Don't want her to feel left out."

"Haha. Did you seriously send them on to your neighbours?"

"Yes. I'm spreading the love on Valentines Day."

"Crap, that's today?"

"You didn't know?"

"No, I did, I just... forgot?"

"You forgot? You forgot that it's the biggest bullshit lie day in the entire calendar?"

"Every other year I've remembered. I guess, when you're single, it doesn't really matter so you tend to forget."

"I know you're at your grandmother's at the moment, but... Hugo and some friends are coming over tonight for an anti-Valentines evening in. We're eating popcorn, not chocolate. We're drinking orange juice, not champagne. We're watching horror movies, not rom-coms. And there won't be a strawberry in sight. If you fancy joining us, you apparently have my address."

"Seriously? You're inviting me after what I did?"

"You asked for a second chance at being my friend, so... yeah, come. Don't come. Whatever. We're starting with the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre at seven. Bring Elias, if you want."

"Oh, yeah, that'll be good. Cool. So, seven?"

"Seven."

"Great. See you later, alligator."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"In a while, crocodile."

"Wait, Sophie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Not hating me."

"No, Daniel, I still hate you. I just hate you a little less than last night."

"Oh, ok."

"If you bring me Haribo Tangfastics, I might just hate you a little less again."

"Haribo Tangfastics, it is. Bye, Danphie One."

"... Bye... Danphie Two."