January 27th, 2016

"My work here is done!"

"Ok."

"I get to come home tomorrow!"

"If you say so."

"I'm free!"

"Uh-huh."

"You don't sound excited for me, Daniel."

"I completely agree."

"I'm knocked up and it's yours."

"Great."

"I got kidnapped by aliens and they experimented on me."

"Sure, that's- wait, what?"

"I knew you weren't listening!"

"Just... hold on a second. Don't hang up."

"Ok."

"..."

"..."

"Ok, what are you blithering on about? Aliens?"

"I was kidding about the alien abduction. What's got you so distracted?"

"Work. Are you sure the alien abduction was just a joke? I mean, it would explain a lot about you. Like, a lot."

"Whatever. What are you working on?"

"Are you really that interested?"

"Um..."

"Thought not."

"Ok, maybe I'm not that interested. To be honest, the law kinda bores me. So, let's talk about something else."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, really. I mean, you kinda know a lot about me-"

"All I know is that you're batshit crazy."

"Nice, thanks. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, you know more about me than I know about you."

"And?"

"And we need to rectify that."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know you all that well. It's time that changed."

"How?"

"Are we only giving one words answers now or what?"

"No."

"Could've fooled me."

"Haha. What do you want to know, Sophie?"

"Um... favourite movie?"

"Seriously, that's your first question? Ok, well, I like David Cronenberg movies, like A History of Violence and Eastern Promises. I like dark stuff."

"Creepy."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry that not everyone's favourite movie is Dirty Dancing."

"Mine's Pirates of the Caribbean, actually."

"Like that's any better than my choice."

"It's ten times better than your choice! Next question, what song would you have playing at your funeral?"

"...ok, because that's not morbid... um, I don't know. Something cliché, like You Raise Me Up. The original version, not the Westlife version. Boybands are terrible."

"I agree, the original is the better one. Ok, how about favourite book?"

"Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I like James Patterson, too."

"Oh, I liked the movie!"

"You have no taste. The book was good, the movie was not."

"Wait a second, it's your favourite book but you only call it 'good?'"

"What's wrong with that?"

"I'd describe mine as life changing."

"Really, how so?"

"Because it changed my life. Clue's in the phrase, Daniel."

"What was the book called? I'll add it to my reading list."

"The Kama Sutra."

"..."

"Seriously, I'm not even kidding."

"Wait, you're not?"

"No, I'm not. Read it, you'll see. Honestly, all those women wasting their cash on Fifty Shades when they should have invested in this instead."

"Sophie-"

"Daniel. See? I can do that long sighing thing too."

"So it seems."

"Fine, don't read the book. It's not that big a deal. But, did you know that the eye can see five hundred shades of grey, not fifty."

"Interesting fact."

"I'm full of those."

"Any more questions?"

"If you could have sex with one celebrity, who would you have sex with?"

"Why does everything come down to sex with you?"

"Do you really want to me answer that?"

"I probably don't, but yes."

"Because it's been almost six weeks since I last had sex and at the moment it's all I can think of."

"God, I knew that I'd regret asking."

"Haha. On a serious note, this is not a laughing matter."

"Never said it was. So, now that you've interrogated me-"

"I don't think you can call four questions an interrogation."

"In my line of work, you can."

"Urgh, lawyers. Always think you're right."

"That's because we usually are. Now, may I ask you the question, or not?"

"Sure. Go for it."

"Last night, when I mentioned Elias, you were... I don't know, awkward about the subject?"

"When did we talk about Elias?"

"I spat tea over him, you asked if he was here, I said yes, then I asked you why you were wondering, and you said, 'no reason.' It was awkward. Why?"

"It was not awkward, Daniel."

"Is there anything going on with you and him? I know you have his number, so... have you used it?"

"Ew, no! Elias? God, no. I asked around about him, you know, getting a feel of the guy... rather wished I hadn't. Can you confirm- or deny- that he's a bigger whore than Hugo?"

"I'm not sure how much of a whore Hugo is, but I can confirm that Elias is a womanizer."

"Damn it. He had potential, other wise. I already have a friends with benefits, I don't need another one."

"You have a friends with benefits, and yet, you haven't had sex in more than six weeks?"

"I was moping after my break up, then I went to Paris, then I was working, then I was in New York, then I was back in Paris... where do you fit in the time?"

"..."

"Anyway, maybe I'll call him tomorrow. Netflix and chill."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Don't worry, you don't need to know what that means."

"What's that noise? Are you running a bath?"

"Yep. I just got back to the hotel and I need to relax."

"Oh, ok. Do you need me to hang up?"

"Um..."

"..."

"No, not for another few minutes. Tub isn't full yet."

"Were there more questions you wanted to ask?"

"No. Just talk to me."

"I can drive."

"Haha, ok. Where's this going?"

"I can drive. People think I can't, but I can."

"Why would they think you can't drive?"

"Because I have a driver. I hate navigating around London. I grew up in the country so traffic and I don't gel well."

"Country bumpkins, huh?"

"Well, Wiltshire."

"It's more country than London, I'll give you that."

"You grew up in Oxford, right?"

"I grew up all over. London, Paris, New York... Oxford is where the family home is, though."

"So, you're a city girl?"

"Through and through. I'd miss the noise of traffic."

"Who the hell would miss that? I tell you, no one sane would."

"Good thing I'm insane."

"I suppose it is. You wouldn't be you, other wise."

"Ok, my bath is ready. I'll give you a call tomorrow once I'm back in London."

"Sure. Bye, Soph."

"Night, Daniel."